I held Ally in my arms as she cried and cried. I wanted to make her feel better, but I had no idea how. Her parents divorce has convinced her that she'll get her heart broken too. "I love you." I say to her. But I know her it sounds painful.
I cup my hands on her cheeks, I want her took at me, "Listen to me. Please, listen. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm flying. Every time I hold you close, I feel a rush going through me. When I see you cry like this, I want try to fix you. When you were in that hospital, I wanted to explode. I wanted to see you happy! I wanted you to be happy. When I was at the hospital, what were thinking?" I ask.
"I felt, I felt like couldn't breath. I felt broken seeing you suffering. I wanted to give you my life, any thing so you would open your eyes." she whispers to me.
I held her head to my chest, "Do you hear that. It's my heart beating rapidly fast. Only make it do that. Please, be with me. I swear I won't ever hurt you!" I dug my head into her hair crying.
She pushes away from me, "I can't. I'm sorry." she goes to the door, this time I don't try to stop her.
"I love you." I say holding back, I felt like yelling.
"I love you too." she says. She walks out the door. And the moment the door shuts, I yell. I punch I kick, I do any thing to feel better. But nothing works. I pound on the door, I ripped my pillow. I even broke the window. She doesn't want me to break her heart, but she just broke mine.
It's been three days since I've see Ally, I miss her. I've only called her hundreds of times, I've sent her about fifty text messages. I asked Trish to help me, but she's wont. Ally doesn't want her too. The only thing I know is that Ally wants to let all of this pass us. Just so things will get back to normal. It's been three days, it felt like two weeks. How long does she want to wait?
"Hey Austin." Dez came by after school.
"Hey." I said.
"How do you feel?" he asIs.
"My hearts sad." I answer.
"It's going to be ok?" he says, "Things will get better."
"I don't see how they could." I say. "I wish she could see that I'm not going to hurt her." I say.
"She thought the same about her mom," he says. I told every thing that Ally told to me, to Dez. "Se must have thought, if my own mother can hurt me, even after so much we've been through, why would Austin do the same?" he says. He always know exactly what to say, I'm really glad to have a friend like him.
"I just want to see Ally happy." I say.
"Then maybe you should give this whole love thing a break?" he suggests.
"No, I'm not doing that. It took me for ever to find those feelings, I'm not just going to toss them aside." I say.
"But Ally doesn't want to be in a relationship." he stated.
"Then I'll wait for her. I'll wait till the day I die. Point is I'm never going to let her go. I'm not giving up on her." I say.
It's been another week, and I've only seen Ally once. I say her at the mall and said hi, that was it. We didn't say another word. I also performed that son she and I wrote at the mall. I didn't see her in the audience though. We're still music partners, but we just don't see each other ad often. It's kind of weird really.
The next early morning, I got ready for school. When I went down stairs I got an unexpected surprised, "Um, hi Daniel. What ate you doing here?" I asked.
"I came to visit you." he says.
"Daniel will be taking you to school," mom says, "You're father and I both decided it would be a nice idea." he she says.
"Oh, ok. Cool." I say.
"Shall we go?" Daniel says to me.
"Yeah, let's go. Bye mom." I say.
We get into the car and started driving to school. It was the most awkward plane in the work. Really, it was so weird.
"Nice day today." he says.
"Yeah, I guess it is." I say.
"So you're parents told me that you havent't been feeling alright." he says.
"Yeah, I been like this for a little while." I say, "Did they tell you what it's about?" I asked.
"A little, it's about some girl, right?" he asks.
I add, "Its isn't just some girl. She's my best friend, and." I stop myself. I, just telling this guy about Ally, I don't know him. But I feel ok telling him.
"It's alright," he says, "You can tell me. I'm here to listen." he assures me.
"Well like I said she's my best friend. I care about her, a lot. I told her that, and she feels the same way." I sigh, cover my eyes thinking about that big moment when she was crying. I hated to think about her being so sad.
"So what's the problem?" he asks.
I take a deep breath, "Well we have feelings for each other, but she just wants to be friends." I say, "Her parents' divorce scares her. She's too afraid to get her heart broken."
"Would you ever break her heart?" he asks, "I mean it's not like you two are her parents." he chuckles a little.
"It's because she says we are like them. And it's a really crazy story, but I miss her. I weep for her, you don't know how many times I said I love you to her. It's just not enough." I say. I stop cause I'm having that moment when you're trying to talk, with out ending up crying.
He smiles to me, "Well no matter what, don't give up." He says.
"I already decided I'm not going to, but I think she has." I say
"Well then make her happy. Make her feel safe when you're together. Just keep that flame you still might have burning." he says.
"Thanks." I say. Hearing him say all of this kind of hits me. Here is a man a barley know, but turns out to be my dad, and he's giving me advice about love. I guess having two dad's is a good thing. I don't even mind so much any more about going with him for a few months.
"Why not take her out, take her to the beach again." he adds.."Wait how do you know we went to the beach," I ask, "Did my parents tell you?" then i remember I didn't even tell them about me and Ally spending the day together.
"You haven't seen the magazine?" he asks.
I shake my head, "What magazine?"
he says, "I was at the drug store, and I saw a magaizene with your nam and face on it. It read Austin Moon New Girl. The picture was you giving her a hug." he says.
"Some one was watching us" I couldn't blieve some one was spying on us.
"I gues so. The artilcle had tons of picture of you two lauging, holding hands, even one with the two of you sitting on a surf board in the water." he says.
I was really mad now. All that was privaite, I was mad more about the picture about the surf board. Those were moments uf just us together. Not as lovers, or to friends hanging out. It was like healing thing. That was the day when I found out about Daniel. And it makes me mad that people were spying on these important moments just to make a quick buck.
When I got to school, I told Dez what Daniel told me. We went to the liberary to check the magazines web site online. Turns out the magazine also has a few more pictures, like when Ally and I jumped of a clif into the water. Or when we were hanigng out together in the music store.
I liked that people thought she was my girlfriend, but I didn't like them being every where.
"I can't believe people are making stuff up about you. But it's like a relationship so that must mean your even more famous than you think." Dez comments.
"Dez not really the time," I say.
"Sorry."
After school I went to the mall with Dez. I was hoping to find Ally, but I only found Trish. "Hey Trish." I say.
"Oh hey guys. It's been a while since I've seen you two." she says.
"Yeah. So is Ally around?" I ask.
"Austin, you know Ally really isn't in the mood for all of that love stuff. She just wants some time." she says.
"I know, I know. Can you please just give her this?" I say holding out a small envelope, she takes it looking really counfused, "It's a letter, can you please just give it to her. Make sure she reads it, and if she doesn't want to, read it to her?"
She sighs, "Ok. But I can't promise you that she'll want to listen." she says.
Dez and I then go hang out, we pass by were the music store used to be. Then I remember some thing,"Hey, I just thought of some thing!"
"What?" he says.
"When Ally was packing up the instruments, she told me that she packed all of our things that were in the practice room. All of her stuff is at her house she said to go pick them up." I say.
Dez adds, "As that before she said she didn't want to be with you?" he asks,"I don't think she's in the mood to see you right now."
"She has your potato clock too." I say.
"Let's go." he says. It's a short drive to Ally's place. Walking up the steps I feel really nervouse. I wa about to ring the door bell when Ally open the door, "Austin?"
"Hey, Ally." I say.
"Hi? Austin now isn't a really good time to talk." she says.
"No, it's ok. I just came by to pick up my stuff," I say, "You know the stuff from the practice room."
"Oh. Right, yeah... Come on in." she says.
It felt weird going to her jouse. It's been a whole since I've been here, that's for sure.
We walked into her living room where a bunch of stuff was packed in boxes. "This is all of your stuff. She says ,"I'll be up on my room." she says.
I drop on the couch, I didn't think it would hurt seeing her. It's just really hard, but I'm a little happy that she left. I wanted to hug her, hold her hand, kiss her. I really want to kiss her. Just one more time.