April's POV
We arrived at the pack meetings a few moments too late; it had ended and werewolves were milling around everywhere, shooting us curious looks. Maybe they could smell the marijuana? No, I was being paranoid.
"Do you think they realized we weren't here?"
I grimaced, keeping my eyes trained at the grass beneath my feet; it was an electrifying fern-green. It looked like a velvet blanket that spread out in all directions. "To be honest, I don't think they would care. It's not as though we play a major role in the pack."
"Diego is going to be pissed," Nina muttered under her breath.
"Shit, he saw us. Oh geez, he's coming over here. Is there anywhere to hide? Damn it." I half-halfheartedly listened to Nina go through a running commentary, hand in hair.
"Where the hell have you guys been? You've missed the entire meeting." He glared at each of us accusingly, lingering a few moments on each of our faces to make us feel even guiltier. "We've made a truce with the Pinewood Pack. You should have been here when it happened."
I listened to Nina spin a story about our absence, making little noises of approval and agreement here and there for added effect. But my attention had already strayed.
* * * * * * *
"Weed? That's your thing now?" Aiden's voice broke me out of my already broken thoughts. My head whipped up to find him staring down at me; his expression was undecipherable.
"It's not my thing. It's a known thing that teenagers occasionally do for fun."
He stepped down from the small step that stood between us. I glanced up at him defensively; somehow, I'd found a hidden seating area somewhere near the house after Daniel cracked a joke about the air reeking of marijuana. I'd left immediately.
Aiden grimaced at me with unconcealed disappointment, though it hadn't the intended effect. My happy after effect was fading. "Don't play smart, Ap. It really doesn't suit you."
"Yes, because you know so much about me, don't you?" I shot back.
"I just called you out on what you did, April."
"Then did you have to make it sound so dirty? Like I'd done something wrong!"
"Maybe I made it sound dirty because it is dirty. Do you really want drugs on your hands?"
I dropped my forehead into my hands. "Aiden, I really don't want to argue with you." I warned, glancing up at him. "How did you know about it? Did Nina tell you?"
"No. You can smell it from a mile away. I'm pretty sure everyone can. Maybe that's why you've been getting strange looks for the past hour."
"Why didn't Diego then?"
"He must have, but probably ignored it because he wouldn't think you and Nina would seriously be blowing off the pack meeting to do weed."
"You're making this too big of a deal, Aiden."
"No, I'm not."
"You did it once upon a time. Why is it so wrong when I'm just trying it?"
"I did it," he emphasized, "and look where it got me. When did you change so much, Ap? It feels like I'm talking to a new person."
"Why are you getting so defensive about this? You were the one avoiding me like the plague and now suddenly you're interrogating me about what I do in my spare time."
"Maybe it's because I care about you and don't want you to fall on the wrong path like I did." He shot back venomously.
I swallowed, feeling angry tears spring up into my eyes. I fought them back, determined not to be weak; fists clenched by my side, I stood up so I was facing him. Despite the considerable difference in our height, I was unwavering in my resolution. "I'm not going to fall off the wagon." I said quietly.
"It seems to me that everyone has been saying that I've changed, that I'm different and it's not right. But has it occurred to those very same people that they are the very reason for my change? I'm not going to remain the same in everyone's eyes. It's called growing up. I understand that what you went through, Aiden, was hell and it's dragged you through another hell to escape that. But surely I should be allowed to live and try new experiences. It's like growing up means I'm changing into someone I shouldn't be and that I should be ashamed of that."
"The very same people calling you out on your change are the very reasons for your change," he repeated, very softly, eyes cast down. "I guess I never looked at it in that way."
"No-one ever does."
"I'm not apologizing for what I said though," he added, warning colouring his tone. My shoulders slumped. "And I'm saying this because I love you, not because I want to fight with you."
"I know. I'm not either." I replied stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't like the way we are now."
"What do you mean?" He couldn't hide the hurt that stained his voice; I felt myself flinch.
"Aiden, we're never there for each other when we need each other most. We just... disappear off the face of the earth, as though hiding from our problems will solve them. We never laugh like we used to, go on cute little dates and talk about random, un-important things like we used to. Everything is so serious all the time." I paused, avoiding his eyes. "I missed it when didn't fight about things as intense as this."
"I know." He drew in breath. He held my hands and kissed them softly, peering up at me through his dark lashes. "I didn't know you like cute little dates?"
I scowled. "Out of all of those words you pick those ones?"
"Well, I want to make you happy." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "And if that's what it takes to make you smile, I'll move heaven and hell for you."
"For a date?!"
"I mean, if you feel like dining in hell, I can always kick Satan's ass. Anything for you." Then, he grew serious again. I could see how hard he was trying to keep his tone light and easy after what I had said. I suddenly felt guilty. "Ap, did you do the weed because you missed out on 6 months of your life? Or was it because you were angry at me and your mom?"
I pondered upon this, staring out at the crowd across the plains and then down at myself. Shame twisted in my stomach like a wrench. "Both maybe. I don't know."
Allowing Aiden to guide me away from the table, I slumped in his arms. "Come on. Let's get that smell off of you." He murmured into my hair softly. Despite the comforting aura of his words I couldn't help but feel he was stiffer with me – more cautious.
* * *
I finished splashing water onto my face for the umpteenth time and leaned against the counter top heavily, staring at my reflection in the mirror. It was frightening. My eyes were wide and pupils dilated, slightly red from the corners though it was slowly returning to a translucent sheen of white. Lips dry, cheeks flushed, hair windswept.
Sweeping my hair up, I secured it with a band and pulled it tight. I patted down my arms and neck with water, cooling my skin and washed my face again and then rinsed my mouth out with an unused mouthwash under the sink.I sprayed perfume over myself, coughing at the overwhelmingly sweet aroma. Content that my weedy smell was covered as best it could, I opened the bathroom door and started, blinking once.
Aiden, Diego, Beau and Daniel were standing outside, motionless but murmuring quietly to one another. They paused as I emerged. I tensed. Was this an intervention?
Daniel was the first to step forward, smiling dryly at me. "The conundrum returns?"
"Conundrum?"
"You are quite literally the most puzzling puzzle I've ever had to piece together, April Evans. Your personality changes more than Lady Gaga's and that's saying something, my friend."
Looking up, Diego and Aiden couldn't have looked any more disappointed. "If you guys have something to say, you may as well say it." I sighed, wiping my hand over my still damp forehead.
Beau cleared his throat. "We just want to clarify something with you." He paused for added effect as the newly married couple, a rather frustrated looking Nina, Barbara and Donna stepped inside, shutting the door behind them.
"Is there a reason you're acting out? Are you not... happy here anymore?"
I was taken aback by his question – regaining my composure. "I am happy," I blinked, "and you mean: why did we try weed?"
Diego's eyes flashed to Nina very briefly, glowing like a forest green canopy, buzzing with unspoken words. His mouth was set in a very thin line, dark hair tousled as though he'd run his hand through it many times. Nina's eyes were focused on the only window in the room, past Daniel's head.
"No, we mean," he shook his head, "oh never mind. Maybe we should talk about you staying here instead. And everything really. Especially since the accident."
My eyes flashed at the patronising tone he seemed to have adopted. "Since the accident?" I questioned. "There's nothing to say!"
"Yes there is, April. Maybe we should tell your mother what – what we are," Aiden said. "Maybe that'll change your mind about going to England for a while."
I shook my head fiercely. "I don't need a break. And I will tell her – in due time. I just don't think now is a great time considering she's pissed at me. I don't want to stress – or freak – her out more than she already is. Right now I think she can only handle humans."
Aiden stepped forward. His arms rose to rub the sides of my arms softly, bending slightly to brush a kiss on my forehead. "Ap. You need some time to yourself. To sort things out – you're... you're confused and angry and impulsive. You need time to think."
"I've had enough time to think, don't you understand?" 6 months, in fact.
"He's right, April. Take some time. Have you seen your eyes? There's like, shadows underneath them all the time. Your skin care regime's not looking too great either." Donna quipped, her familiar condescending tone making me want to both, grit my teeth and laugh aloud.
"When was the last time you slept properly?" Daniel added. I glanced up, peeking through Aiden's arms to find his face. Underneath his golden mane of hair, his expression was serious. "Take a break, man. God knows you need it."
"A break is all I've been taking! And I'm not tired."
"Really? I bet you wouldn't be able to give me the advice you gave me that day in the kitchen when we were making a midnight feast on a full night of sleep anymore. You just – wouldn't, would you?"
I blinked.
"Stop fighting us, Ap." Aiden whispered. I pushed him away, feeling weak at my knees. They were all closing in on me, fighting me, making me out to be the one in the wrong. It wasn't my fault – why didn't they see that?
Aiden closed the gap between us once more, one finger rising to wipe a tear I hadn't realized had been shed. Bending, he kissed me on the lips softly. He stepped away and I hugged myself, stomach burning.
"No, please. You guys have to listen to me." I looked at Nina desperately. "Nina, tell them. Tell them I'm fine. Tell them," I pleaded. She stared back at me with sorrowful eyes, mouthing an apology, stepping forward to wrap me in her arms tightly, whispering:
"April, I'm on your side. But they're right – when you asked me to get some weed for us to try, I thought you were joking. But you were persistent; you get so angry, so tired all the time. I couldn't say no to you without you biting my head off - and if I had, you would have done it elsewhere, by yourself. I miss you."
I'm not ill.
I'm not tired either.
Look at me – am I angry?
But no-one believed me.
The door to the room opened, making all of our heads whip towards it in unison. My mother stood in the doorway, a rather wary looking Antonio behind her, flanked by Kaden and his mate.
"April," she breathed, briefly glancing around the rather cramped room, lingering momentarily on Aiden. "I need to speak to you."
I walked forward. "I need to speak to you too." Pointing out at the window behind Daniel where the clearing was quite visible, I squinted, pointing out a blur of grey and black near the border of the woods. "They're werewolves." I whispered. "All of them."
I stepped past her, through the doorway, mentally saying: you happy now? I told her. I damn well told her.
And I was staying here. Whether they thought I was mentally unstable or not.
Then, there was a thump as my mother hit the ground.