"fuck." jungkook muttered, leaning his head against his pillow as he exhaled. he put an arm over his eyes, a string of whispered curses escaping his lips. his hands were in his hair, preventing himself from punching his face more. he didn't want to disturb the already sore skin.
"jungkook?" he heard namjoon call outside the door.
"don't come in!" the younger one called back, tears piercing his eyes.
"what are you doing? jacking o-"
"no i'm not fucking masturbating, namjoon i'm having a panic attack!"
the door opened gently, much to jungkook's disliking. a worried namjoon quickly sat on the bed next to jungkook, looking at the younger below him. he was laying under the covers that were up to his waist, his shirt off and his face puffy. he was breathing heavily, namjoon was next to his legs. he reached his hand forwards and started to run it through jungkook's slightly sweaty hair. namjoon didn't mind.
"why are we panicking?" namjoon asked in a calm, quiet voice. he didn't want to send the younger into another panic. jungkook was very delicate, he was hard to calm down. it wasn't that easy.
"fucking, i fucking- ah, i can't speak right now!" jungkook's arm left his eyes, balling into a fist and slamming it on his mattress. namjoon jumped a bit, he hadn't realized jungkook was angry too.
"he-hey now... put your hand on my chest." namjoon took the younger's hand and placed in in the middle of his chest, making sure his fingertips could feel his heartbeat. "look at how i'm breathing, try to match your heartbeat with mine, okay?"
jungkook nodded. "take your time." he listened to his elder, to busy calming himself down to realize namjoon's hand was still on top of his own. or how namjoon's thumb was rubbing against the back of his hand in the most delicate, gentle way. and way too busy to realize namjoon was rubbing more of his cheek instead of his hair. after 15 minutes, namjoon heard a heavy sigh.
"i.. i think i'm calmer.. i..." jungkook stuttered, opening his eyes too meet namjoon's comforting ones. he was still sniffling and still felt quite panicky, but a lot less.
"jungkook, why didn't you want me to come in?"
"i.. didn't want you to, uhm, see me like this."
"but i want to help you."
"no no....."
"jungkook...."
"please hold me."
namjoon nodded, laying down and slipping under the covers. jungkook's bed was smaller than his, so the two were pressed up close to each other. not like they minded.
namjoon wrapped secure arms around the younger, pulling him close. jungkook sighed deeply, pressing his head up against namjoon's chest, along with balled up fists. their legs intertwined, namjoon rubbed small circles into jungkook's waist with his thumb. the sheet only came out to their mid torso, exposing jungkook's hot skin to the cold air. but he didn't mind, he liked the feeling of namjoon holding him.
he loved namjoom.