Chapter 23
1st of Sun's Dawn, 4E 202
Cortana and Babette,
The Gourmet is located at the Nightgate Inn, meet Nazir and I there.
~Gabriella
Don't mess anything up! is written right after the word 'there.' Babette and I roll our eyes. Nazir obviously scribbled that on.
"If we want to get there before sunset, we better leave now," I tell her, and Babette runs into her room to pack whatever. I change into black and red dress armour, resembling the Dark Brotherhood garb, but it isn't noticeable to people who don't have a clue about our secret society. The crimson armour goes over my shoulders and wrists like the original uniform, but isn't very obvious of Dark Brotherhood clothes. The black dress goes slightly below my knees, and it isn't tight at all.
After Babette and I meet up at the main area, we pack extra food in a satchel to attach to Shadowmere's leather saddle.
Babette's hair is in a braid, and she's wearing a sleeveless red dress that reaches to her knees. On the inside of her dress, is a blue short-sleeved shirt. A belt hangs around her hip, and a satchel connects to the belt, dropping to her waist.
"Are we leaving or are you going to wait for Kaito to kiss you goodbye?" Babette crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow.
I insert my dagger into my scabbard, and scoff. "You're childish."
"Just admit that you like him, and everyone will be at peace!" Babette shrieks, throwing her hands in the air.
"Everyone?" I ask. "Since when was everyone involved in this?"
"Since you keep ogling over him. Seriously, we knew keeping you two at Solitude would mend your relationship," Babette replies, a smug look to her face. "Really, it's so obvious. He's like a dog; craving your attention, but always protecting you."
"He doesn't always protect me," I seethe, but she rolls her eyes.
"We all know you two have a thing. He kissed you, now it's your turn to kiss him! Dear, remember forcing Astrid and Arnbjorn together?"
I certainly do. Years ago, Arnbjorn was recruited into the Dark Brotherhood. Astrid always had a crush on him, and I remember he made her cry one day. Babette stopped me from kicking his ass, and after we spied on them from behind the forging set, he felt guilty for making her cry. And we all know that Arn will never apologise (only if it's sarcasm), to anyone, girl or boy.
When he witnessed one of Astrid's contracts, he immediately fell in love with her. So much blood.
But in the end we forced them together, and pretty much planned their wedding without notifying them.
What? They didn't have a problem, since Arn basically proposed to her years after, so actually planning a surprise wedding was not such a bad idea. I mean, they were gonna get married, right?
Arnbjorn still hates me for accidentally putting blue decorations.
Okay, maybe it wasn't an accident.
I might of put blue flowers, force him in a blue suit, and made blue wedding rings.
Everyone admitted it, his reaction was a bit funny. He even yelled at me for having blue eyes.
"Yes, but..." I murmur, actually thinking of a good retort.
"But? Sister, what are your feelings for Kaito?" she suddenly asks me, and I widen my eyes.
She notices my faint blush and smirks. "So if Kaito bakes the pastries again, would you admit your undying love to him?" Babette pretends to sigh dreamily, dramatically clapping her hands together and flutters her eyelashes.
"In your dreams, child," I scoff, and amble up the staircase.
"You're so stubborn," Babette mutters before following me, adjusting her satchel.
Double-checking the map on the table, I search for the location of the Nightgate Inn. So that's where the Gourmet is staying? Stopping by Astrid's room, I make sure Babette is behind me as I scream, "ASTRID WE'RE OFF TO KIDNAP THE GOURMET OKAY."
"Hmmm, okay," she yells back in between a yawn and a stretch, as if this is an every-day conversation. She pulls the covers over head, groggily awakened by my shouting. Babette suppresses her giggles by quietly clearing her throat, following me out of the sanctuary.
The morning chill feels nice, no trace of the sun turning Skyrim into an oven. Shadowmere is grazing in the meadow, glancing at us as soon as we close the door. He nickers and trots toward us, greeting me with a nuzzle to my neck.
"We're off to the Nightgate Inn," Babette notifies Shadowmere, and he replies with a nod to his head. I hop onto his saddle, thankful my dress didn't rip as soon as I got on. I learned my lesson: don't wear tight clothing. Armour is more suitable, but Shadowmere hates when anything sticking out and rubs against his skin. He'll throw you off his back with no remorse. Typical steed. And I thought mares were like that.
I pull Babette's arm so she can mount. "Curse this adolescent body," she hisses at her own self, hugging my waist as I flick Shadowmere's harness. He notices my command, and begins to gently trot up the path. As I pat the stallion's mane, he snorts and quickly ambles past a stray dog.
"Aw, how cute," Babette comments, attempting to reach the dog's scruffy fur, but fails. No matter how long you stare at her, she'll always look like a child, despite the scarlet eyes.
"Who're you calling cute?" someone scoffs, obviously close by. The dog, however, didn't seem to be curious by the voice, and wasn't darting his eyes to the bushes like what we were doing. Babette looks to the dog. "Yes, I'm talking about you, little girl."
"Excuse me...?" she mumbles, staring directly at the dog. By now, I'm also looking down at the flea bag from our steed, and I stroke Shadowmere's mane, not even taking my eyes off of the dog.
"You're looking at me as if I'm the Headless Horseman or something. Trust me, there are weirder things to look at other than me," the dog says, shaking his head so his ears flop to the side.
Babette and I exchange bizarre looks as we then turn to the dog once again. "You're a talking dog," I murmur, and he whines in exasperation.
"Honestly, there are two-legged cat men in Skyrim, and you're thinking me weird?" the dog sighs, and gets up on his four legs, scratching the back of his ear like a normal dog. "Giant lizards, friendly ogres, and elves with purple hair! How weird can Skyrim get?"
"Hey!" I growl, but he sits like an obedient dog.
"I'm Barbas, a Daedra's best friend," he introduces himself, wagging his tail. Babette and I look at each other again, and blink. "I would tell you that this is my swamp, like my Orc friend Shrek would say, but apparently you can't get over the fact I'm talking."
Silence.
"You talk, I talk, is there much of a difference?" Barbas asks, clearly irritated. This time, I sigh. Sometimes I don't get Skyrim.
"But you're a talking dog," Babette whispers.
"And you're an old woman," Barbas retorts.
"But you're talking," Babette replies.
"For Clavicus's sake, yes, I am talking!" Barbas shouts, growling. "And I will continue to do so."
"Do you know Mercer Frey, leader of the Thieves Guild?" I ask, and Barbas sits, bored.
"As a matter of fact, I do. I also know the leader of the Dark Brotherhood, the Daedric Prince of Wishes, and the leader of Dawnguard," he explains. "Why do you ask?"
"You sound like Mercer," I mumble, and shake the thought away. "Where are you headed?"
"A vampire's cave, Haemar's Shame. I was actually looking for the Dragonborn. Do you know where he is? I have a... problem with my master, and I need the dragon guy's help," he says, and I point to the sanctuary.
"Just scratch on the creepy door until someone actually answers," Babette tells him.
"Why don't you just tell me the password?"
"You're a talking dog."
"AND?" he shouts, barking at her. Shadowmere snorts, shooting Barbas a glare. I giggle. Babette can be annoying as a little girl. Sithis knows how she was like when she was actually ten years old.
"The Dragonborn is in the sanctuary. Just explain you met us on the path, and he'll hopefully follow you," I say, and Barbas nods before running off. I sigh. Skyrim these days. Really, a shapeshifting Daedra?
Babette grips onto my shoulders as soon as Shadowmere begins to speed up the path. Barbas the talking dog was the only subject mentioned on our ride to the Nightgate Inn.
Frostfall in the Pale is downright freezing. We pass Lake Yorgrim, and find two figures in the distance. Skyrim is getting colder and colder every year. I raise up my hood, and Babette flips the cloak over her head. I cover my nose with a red scarf, masking half my face as I hop off Shadowmere.
Nazir carries Babette off our steed, and tie Shadowmere to the post near the lake. He can stand the cold weather.
"Balagog gro-Nalob is in the cellar, and he doesn't like to interact with anybody," Gabriella explains, wearing ordinary robes.
"I want to go inside," I grumble, rapidly rubbing my arms. I sniff once my nose starts to run, and rush inside the inn without waiting for anyone else.
After a minute later with me standing by the fire, they finally come in, only with Nazir shivering. What can I say, he's made for the heat.
"Let's go!" Babette exclaims, pulling my hand to the cellar. Hadring glances at us, giving us a suspicious stare before we run down the staircase, and stumble into the cellar, falling flat on our stomachs.
"What theー" Balagog stands up from his seat, his tankard dropping to the floor.
"It's the Gourmet!" we scream, and Nazir rubs the bridge of his nose as soon as he walks in.
"Wha...how could you possibly know that?" he asks as we leap to our feet. He speaks fluently, unlike other Orcs. Barbas was right, he is friendly, but still unsocial.
"Long story. You're coming with us!" Babette jumps excitedly, tugging on his clothes. Balagog pulls away, and pats her head.
"I'm sorry, but I'm on a very busy schedule, and I'm preparing for something in two months," he says to
both of us, and looks to Nazir. "Terribly sorry. Are these your children?"
"Gods no," Nazir crosses his arms as he shakes his head, clearly annoyed. Babette and I giggle.
"Whatever it is, I'm sure I can't be of help. I'm just here on...holiday," he says slowly, picking up the tankard to set it on the table. Once he turns around again, he backs away. "Please leave. I'm very busy preparing for something."
"For the Emperor, we know. What are you going to cook? Does it involve knives?" I giggle, and Babette tiptoes to inspect him. Balagog backs away, bumping into a wine barrel along the way.
He gulps, licking his lips and teeth. "You're starting to...frighten me. Please leave."
"We're going to bring you to our sanctuary so you can always cook for us!" Babette smiles, gesturing to a cook book on the side of his bed. "Come with us!"
"Um, excuse me young lady, but no thank you," he says nervously, waving his hand in the air.
I frown. "But can you cook something for us?"
"You're mistaken...I'm not the Gourmet," he mumbles with uncertainty, and looks to Nazir as if he'll help him.
"Okay idiot duo, hurry up before I kill him myself," Nazir groans, and Balagog looks up at him in horror.
Babette and I whinge, "but Nazir! I wanna try his food!"
"U-Um..." Balagog mutters. "Oh dear...you're going to kill me, aren't you?"
"No, we're going to kidnap you," Babette tells him tediously, causing him to hide behind the wine barrels.
"W-Wait! Please, I know another cook! His name...his name is Kaito. Ask him to cook for you. Just please don't kill me!" he shrieks, and we all exchange looks. Babette smirks and raises her eyebrow, and I slap her on the shoulder. So the Gourmet actually tried his food?
Well Kaito is mine.
I mean his cooking.
It's not like I actually want him, I just want his cooking! That's all...
Suddenly, a large scimitar flies out of nowhere, hardly cutting off our noses as it lands in the Gourmet's neck. The Orc chokes before falling over, the Writ of Passage falling from his pocket. We turn to the aggravated Redguard.
"NAZIR!" we practically scream, and he shrugs, pulling out the scimitar from his throat, and out from the wall. "We were going to kidnap him!"
Gabriella sighs. "He wasn't going to cook for you anyway."
"Maybe with a little bit of force?" I suggest innocently, and Babette groans, poking Balagog's cheek.
"He's definitely dead..." she mutters sadly, and leans her head back. "Thanks a lot, you stupid Redguard."
He glares, and snatches the bloody paper from the pocket. "You'll be cooking for the Emperor in exactly two months, so you'll have time."
"I don't wanna," I whine, but he slaps his forehead. He might get a concussion from slapping his own face so much. I hope a giant punches him in the back of the head. Babette giggles, and stares at the dead body.
"Festus said we should hide the body," Gabriella tells us, and I nod.
"Do you wanna hide a body?" Babette and I sing, and Nazir walks out of the cellar before we can even start talking. "Aw."
Babette pulls the hand. "It had to be an Orc..."
I help her pull the other hand, and this guy is heavy as a horker. I cut off some limbs to make him lighter, but even the arm itself weighs like ten pounds. If we keep dragging his body, we'll have back problems when we're older. Well...when I'm older. Damn Babette with an everlasting body.
An hour later, Balagog is finally hidden. Hidden under the bed, some drawers, squashed under the wine barrels, and the wardrobe. Some bits and pieces of him were left out with nowhere to fit, so we fed it to a nearby stray dog outside the inn. We actually thought it could be Barbas, so we tried talking to it, which followed in embarrassing moments with farmers wandering the path.
Babette stretches before untying the rope Shadowmere is connected to, feeding him a stolen apple from the harvest barrel. She pets him before he whinnies and walks in place, waiting for us to get on.
***
"I swear, I'm never riding with you three again," Nazir grumbles before hopping off Shadowmere, and he shoots him an insulted glance before allowing us to dismount.
Babette jumps off the saddle, and helps Gabriella and myself to safely land on our feet. "I'm so excited! In two months, we'll be back in business!"
"I can't wait to murder to the Emperor," I sigh, just imagining the perfect scenarios.
Gabriella laughs and walks down the steps. "Remember, you'll have to disguise as a chef. I prepared your costume, so make sure you and Kaito actually look like the Gourmets."
Babette shrugs. "Looks can be deceiving. Just look at Cortana. It seems like she can make a decent dish, but really, she can't even fry horker meat correctly. She's the recipe for disaster."
I give her an obligatory stare, unsure if she meant that in a compliment or an insult.
The child laughs on and sighs. "I pray for your future children."
"Now that I think of it, Kaito goes into your room in a daily basis..." Gabriella raises an eyebrow, and I feel myself stiffen. She's getting the wrong idea!
"We don't do anything! He just annoyingly teases meー" I drift from my sentence once they both widen their eyes. "Not in that way!"
"So you do like him!" Babette squeals, and Gabriella chuckles, adjusting her hood. I groan.
"Shut up, he might hear us!" I whisper, and she calms down. She's like a hyperactive toddler that ate more candy than she should have.
"Hear what?" Kaito muses, leaning on the wall Astrid-style. Before the gossip child can blurt out anything, I slap my hand over her mouth, dragging her further down the steps, neglecting Kaito along the way.
Gabriella follows me, ignoring the fact that Babette is motioning her to get my hand off her mouth. I finally let her go as she disgustingly licks the palm of my hand.
"Oh my, are there secrets you want to keep from our dear Kaito?" Babette simpers, pressing two fingers on the bottom of her lip in amusement. I try my best to keep an annoyed, serious face, but I feel the tips of my ears burn a light pink. With my pointy ears betraying me, I despondently steal a glance to the staircase, noticing he didn't try to follow me. "It's all right, dear, if you do have any secrets, we won't tell a soul. Pinky promise."
I turn to Gabriella, who nods and lifts up her pinky, and I do the same. We manage to twine our three pinkies together, eventually letting go from the pointless struggle. Points for uncooperative teamwork.
"We three tell our secrets anyway, so there's no need to promise. It's just something to reassure you," Babette purrs, squeezing her hands together behind her back.
Astrid ambles to us, who is raising her eyebrows. "Secrets?"
I avert my eyes away from her, and she notices my uneasiness. I trust all of them, I really do, but I'm not sure about the others. Arnbjorn will blurt out anything, and Festus will tell the truth no matter what. Veezara I can trust. I used to tell Lucien my problems, and he always resorts to murder, but still helped. Now, I'm not sure about him. He could have changed over ten years, I suppose.
"I see," she snickers, and I immediately begin to heat unnoticeably. What if Kaito hears? I'm being humiliated, and possibly in front of him. He might as well be stalking us behind the wall, or creeping down the staircase where we won't see his shoes. Astrid leaves, her grin remaining on her lips before she walks away with a deep chuckle.
"Come, sister, let's go eat something. You must be starving from our trip," Babette says, squeezing my hand. She leads me to the dining hall, Gabriella following in our footsteps. "I told you, you should have eaten breakfast. Your lunch became your morning meal, and now the consequence is being hungry."
My stomach grumbles quietly, and I try to do everything I can to stop the noise. Babette laughs. "I can hear your pulse. Relax. There's nothing to be worried about."
Gabriella takes out two loaves of bread, and tosses one to me. "Want one?"
Babette shakes her head. "You all forced me to drink Balagog's blood so it'll be easier to drag him. If I drink any more, my tiny body will explode."
Gabriella chuckles, snacking on her loaf. Then she turns to me, her face filled with anticipation. "Sister, what are your feelings for Kaito?"
Oh no, that question again. I shrug, quietly nibbling on the soft crust of the loaf, containing my embarrassment. "He's just some ordinary initiate."
"Wrooong!" Babette giggles, jumping on her toes. "Cortana loves Kaito!" she sings at the top of her lungs, and I scowl.
"You little skeever!" I hiss, but she laughs, chocolate-brown hair behind her ears.
"Princess Bitch," she shoots back, laughter echoing the halls and she runs away. Gabriella chokes on her bread, continuing to cackle as she swallows the half-chewed piece.
"Honestly, I have no idea how you can cook so terribly. It's almost so inhumane, so atrocious and awful, that your skills might as well come from oblivion," she says, and I blink.
"Thanks," I mutter, allowing my curls to hide my face. She laughs softly and takes out the Gourmet's cookbook.
She flips the pages. "These two are what you may possibly be cooking," she says, pointing at the dishes with her nail.
I take the book and skim through words, flipping to different pastries. Some are what Kaito cooked. "Hmm. Sugar Rush, I like that one."
Gabriella shakes her head. "I doubt Titus Mede would want a meal like that. Too sugary, sweet in taste. Like maple candy. Besides, you're making lunch, not dessert."
"True," I frown, flipping the page.
"You're looking at only the sugary treats," she groans quietly, crossing her arms as she looks over my shoulder.
"Okay, how about this one?" I suggest. "Apple pie. We need caramel, apples, nuts, cinnamon, and other ingredients."
"That's good for an expert cook, but the ingredients are easy enough. It's more than an ordinary Apple Pie, a little more complex. Maybe you can make it a surprise for Kaito. How about it?" she asks, and I actually think about it. It isn't a bad idea. I mean, he pretty much took care of me, protected me against a dragon, gave me one of his sister's dolls, stayed with me when I was under a short period of depression...
He's done so much.
"Okay!" I say a little too enthusiastically, and she nods. Mikasa mentioned he loved apples, and it was an obsession when he was younger. "I can get the ingredients tomorrow."
"You'll find a candy shop in Whiterun, plus a market. Most of the shops there will have exactly what you need," she explains to me, and I quickly glance at the cookbook again. This is the least I can do for him.
Will the Apple Pie taste good with a Giant's toe?
***
Notes: Rate and review! Reviews always inspire me to keep writing. I know some of the chapters are a bit boring now, but there might be some action later. Cortana is going to cook for Kaito...lol...just anticipating how that will turn out.
Do you wanna hide a body? is a parody of Do you wanna build a snowman?
Also, Cortana asked if Barbas knew Mercer Frey, and said he sounded like him. I added that in, because Mercer and Barbas has the same voice actor. Barbas also has a New York accent xD There are different similarities with characters, like how Festus and Winnie the Pooh has the same voice actor; Astrid and Queen Beryl from Sailor Moon.
When I first played Skyrim, I never really payed attention to the Orc on the character creating, and I immediately chose High Elf. So when I escaped Helgen and went down the path, I saw an Orc guarding a mine or whatever and thought: "IT'S AN OGRE!"
And now years later, I became interested in Shrek because of a particular saying... "Shrek is love, Shrek is life!"
Even if the video is really wrong.
This is a really long Author's Note, so I'll stop here! I just had a lot of comments and references for this chapter and had fun writing this.