"Mexico? Are you serious??" Toby said in awe.
We were sitting in a circle on Erin's trampoline in her backyard, just talking.
"Who invited him?" Erin grumbled, feeling annoyed at Toby's dramatizing.
"I mean, he's taken you to Spain, now he's taking you to-"
"Andy's taken you to Spain?" Erin gasped.
I flushed. "I feel like such a gold digger." I said in embarrassment, ducking my head against my knees.
Toby laughed, "No, he knows you're not."
That's probably what Mr. Grant thought.
"I brought muffins!" Connor said with excitement, hopping into the trampoline with a tray full of muffins in his hand, making all of us wobble.
"Who made these?" Cole asked, reaching over and stuffing one in his big mouth, and it was obvious it was her chef who made them.
"So guys..." I began slowly. "Who's thinking about college?"
All of them froze on the spot and looked up, giving me a look of uncertainty, as if they were keeping something from me. "What..." I said in caution, and Erin was the first to speak.
"I've decided, Diana..." She said quietly, looking from the guys to me. "My father is paying for me to go to Wash U."
I stared at her. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
She flushed. "I didn't want you to know. I don't want to leave."
I didn't know what to think. I never really pictured her and I being far apart, and now I had to. We were growing up, and things would fall apart.
My brothers left one by one, and I remembered thinking how the family was over with. How my family was falling to pieces. But in truth, they were just growing up.
And when I'd find a college? What of Andy? Would my father sell the house and would he live with me?
Was I going to leave my brothers behind?
"Oh." I simply said, deep in thought. Erin. Life without my only female friend, and when I thought about it, it had almost came to that before.
Why am I losing people?
"I'll fly you down whenever you'd like." She said with a beautiful grin.
I hopped over the center of the trampoline and attacked her with a hug. "Woah!" She laughed.
"I love you, Erin." I said in honesty, and she hugged me back.
"I love you too, Diana."
"Are they gonna kiss yet?" I heard Cole whisper to Connor.
We released each other glared at the boys in front of us. "So what about you?" Toby asked me. "Andy said you two looked for colleges."
Erin fawned. "He's helping you pick college? That's the sweetest thing."
I sighed out and layed back, feeling bratty but having to release the feelings I held. "I wish my father was doing it with me."
Connor sent a small look of sympathy. "He'll be here soon." He assured me.
"I know."
...
In Andy's room before we left, I was looking over a letter my dad recently sent. It was in reply to mine that told him when he came, I needed help. I didn't say with what, but I felt he had an idea.
He was gonna be there soon. And I knew he would, even if that's the only things he'd been telling me, I felt it.
I was eager to tell him everything. I even thought through what I'd say at night, and I had to admit, I was a little nervous.
Andy and I were packed and ready and I sat up, seeing him come in with his button down open, exposing his trim chest, and the small unseen patch of hair there.
"Ready?" He asked, buttoning up his shirt.
I couldn't help myself, and pulled him to me, unbuttoning his work, making him laugh. I kissed him as we both sat back in comfort. "We have a flight to catch, my love, you're going to be the end of me." He jokingly said as he breathed into me.
I blushed at his stare, hearing him call me his love leaving a mark on me. A good one. I loved him, too.
I eventually let him go and he had a driver take us to the airport, where we covered ourselves for the sake of myself. Photographers were always following Andy these days.
It was always so comforting, sitting by him without any attention called, his arm around me. "I love you." He whispered quietly in my ear as I was almost drifting off into a nice sleep before the plane was ready. Only, we weren't flying first class. We were flying in a jet.
I half-asleepily grabbed his hand in mine and told him I loved him more. He laughed and told me I was wrong. Eventually we had to get up and go, and when we did, I fell into a very comfortable sleep, snuggled against the man who loved me.
...
"I'm crazy." Andy said.
"You are?"
"Can't you tell?"
I gave him a funny look, waiting for him to continue with his upcoming and obvious cliché. "Don't." I told him with an amused smile, and he gave me a gentle nudge with his knee.
We were layed on our backs on a towel. It was dark out, the two of us on the beach and staring up at the stars. I tried my hardest to pretend I hadn't done the same thing with Charlie just a few weeks ago. Because then my mind would linger to him, and that hurt.
We could barely see how blue the clean Mexico ocean looked, but it was okay, because the sound was putting me in a trance. I stared back at Andy's deep blue eyes and wondered how I was chosen. I wondered he loved me out of so many other women who were already in love with him. I wondered why he was himself around me.
"It was gonna be funny, you just ruined it." He said.
I shook my head. "Lame, you mean."
"I'm not lame." He fought back, trying to hide the quiet amusement that obviously peeked through his straight face.
"Okay Mr. Business Man."
He chuckled quietly, his face beginning to go distant and I could tell he was now in deep thought, the joking look on his face gone. "What is it?" I asked, reaching out to him.
"Nothing, don't worry about me." He said, not completely back from his trance.
"Andy?" I whispered in the deep silence, and I felt the crash of the waves echo his name. But then again, that was probably just in my head.
He let out a deep sigh, and I saw for a second how young he really was. A man with so much weight on his shoulders, known by the world and with so many expectations. I thought for a minute how that would be for myself, if I was in his place. Could I really take the pressure?
"I'm tired, Diana." He said with a bit of embarrassment. A chuckle of small frustration that showed his own trouble with himself.
I continued waiting for him to expand on what he meant.
"Like, I haven't even gotten to the age of thirty and I'm already wondering how it would be if I was done working."
I soothingly brushed his hair back and listened as he continued. "I forgot how it was to go to the store without being attacked by cameras. I get tired thinking about how many more hours I have left until I get to see you without an audience."
I blushed.
"I know I have enough money to just stop working in all..."
I got closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder and staring up into his eyes. "But you won't. Because you feel it's your duty." I told him.
His blue eyes widened the slightest, then narrowed shortly. "How did you know that?"
I shrugged. "You're not an open book, Andy." I said in honesty. "But I know that look. That look on your face that says how much you have to worry about. How you think you owe the world so much."
He looked down at me in complete curiosity, and a little shock. "From who?"
I smiled. "My dad."
I watched his eyes turn back to normal, warm and content, and he gave me a comforting smile. "He felt he had to serve?"
I nodded. "He could've done anything. He's the smartest man I know, and he didn't even graduate high school."
Andy looked at me in wonder. "He didn't?"
Then I explained to him, the sob-story of my parents and their unaccepted love. But I wasn't sad when explaining it. Andy stared at me with such fascination and he seemed so interested then. It almost seemed like adoration for him, for my dad. It reminded me of that same adoring look Charlie had given me when he said he wondered how my father made me so happy. He made it seem like it was his job on earth... To make me happy.
But I hurt him.
After I was done speaking, Andy let out a breath, looking like he was repeating the information that went on in his head. Then his eyes met mine. "They didn't deserve being shunned away like that." He told me, his hand smoothing over my waist. "I can't imagine how much pain your father had to go through."
I thought about it, but then smiled at the truth. "He never showed it though. He always made it seem like he was the happiest man on earth, just talking about her."
He pressed his forehead to mine. "They really must've been in love."
And I've had this conversation before.
"They were in deep love with each other. They were perfect." I yawned with envy, but mostly with satisfaction. There were many people I saw who were together, and didn't look in love at all. But my mother and father, I loved hearing the stories of how they used to look at each other. I loved remembering being twelve and laying in bed, having Bailey or Chris or Austin tell me how it was to watch them together. They made three tough men envy their love.
"Go to sleep, my love." Andy said in my ear, and I did, holding onto him like a lifeline.
The next day we went to the Mayan Ruins and took a tour. I stood there and wondered if I had ever seen something so beautiful, but then I remembered. I had. The garden, the beach, Andy, someone else...
But that wasn't important anymore. "This is amazing." Andy said with a relaxed breath. I loved hearing Andy so fascinated. I felt like it wasn't often I got to hear him so impressed even when he's seen many things before. When he's been to so many places.
We roamed the ruins together, hand in hand until the sun soaked all our energy, and we were left in the beach house. On hammocks and kissing like teenagers.