The three settled in the meeting room long after the others have gone. They lazed in the room, talking about anything under the sun. The conversations were light, unlike the tense atmosphere that preceeded it.
Joohyun was in between the two, relaxed and at ease, at least she knows who sees her for who she really is. It was only when Joy unintentionally brought up Yoongi that she felt the older one tense.
"Yoongi has been stressing about students coming in for detention since last week." Joy said, before noticing Joohyun shift on her seat.
Internally smacking herself, Joy hoped that Yoongi' s name wouldn't be mentioned again or that the topic would fly over the two's heads. She didn't mean to be insensitive, it wasn't also her fault that she's close to the older guy.
Joohyun cleared her throat, "Why?" She asked as if nonchalant, which resulted in Joy stealing a glance at Jin's reaction. So far the man was holding it really well.
"The seniors are being lax." Joy laughed to ease the tension, "Apparently, your batchmates decided to fully enjoy their last few days. Sleeping in classes, making a ruckus."
"I swear is it that Hoseok guy again?" Joohyun sighed.
"And he's been dragging Wendy-unnie, but he's not the only one though."
"Isn't it too obvious that he's into his bestfriend?" Joohyun distractedly said, spacing out momentarily.
"Wendy-unnie? I guess so?" Joy answered tentatively, looking at Joohyun's faraway look and Jin's distracted ones.
"It's only a matter of time before the two get together." Joohyun concluded.
"We can't really be sure about that." Joy said, matter-of-factly, "If they don't confess, nothing would probably happen anyway." She continued, pointedly looking at Jin who now had to double check that Joy, indeed, was looking at him. He made an incredulous look that shifted to a longing one once he laid eyes on Joohyun.
Joy had a sharp intake of breath,
Why am I doing this? Joy, are you a martyr? Do you plan on becoming a saint?!
Jin cleared his throat when he saw Joy look at him then sideways to Joohyun again, "I'm sure Yoongi can manage that." Jin butted in in an all too serious tone, making the two glance at the man and nod their heads.
Did I trigger him too much? Joy thought to herself. Why am I playing wingman here?
"I'm quite sure he can actually." Joohyun said, looking at Joy.
Jin fiddled with his hands. Here is the guy who is admired by the whole school, but turns into mush in front of Joohyun.
A deafening silence filled the room, Jin was stealing glances at Joy now, asking for her to break it and say something.
I'll take a step back now. It's never meant to happen anyway.
"Oh!" Joy stood up from her chair, a little too quickly, it made Joohyun jerk in her seat.
"Oh! Look at the time." She said in an unusually high-pitched voice. "I guess it's time for a snack. Would you like me to get you anything?"
Joohyun had on a questioning glare, but she didn't say anything and shook her head.
"Okay then, I'll come back in a few."
And Joy sprinted out towards the door and closed it before getting a glimpse of Joohyun's concerned face.
What she hates more than Joohyun and Jin not being together, is the fact that she can't even hate the former - with Joohyun being the epitome girlfriend material, she knows why Jin could fall for her, and that goes beyond what is seen by many.
Just my luck. Gotta suck it up.
▪▪▪○▪▪▪
Joy lumbered in the hallway, dragging along her heavy feet.
Now what?
She was never really good at hiding, well, she thought she was good, but all her friends told her otherwise. She doesn't even know why she have to go out in the first place - All she knows is that she'll be a hindrance if she stayed.
Joy was a person who wears her heart on her sleeves. Even friends are surprised by her sudden outbursts of emotion. It was hard to lie, to other people: yes. But it was becoming easier to lie to herself.
It doesn't hurt.
Joohyun-unnie will see his worth.
He will never be rejected.
I'll get over a nonexistent relationship.
Easy.
So she distracted herself with food.
What am I going to get today? She wondered.
She decided to settle on a bar of chocolate, an ice cream cup, some seaweed and banana milk.
Okay. Maybe she didn't actually settle for anything, but the girl felt happy with the assortment she has bought.
And even though the two didn't ask for anything she decided to buy them something as well: a rice drink for her Joohyun-unnie and coke for Jin.
She took her time though, not really hurrying to return to the room. She took detours and went up a couple of stairs, prowling in the hallways while she juggled all the goods on her chest and opened the cup of ice cream and tried to eat it.
Tried.
It was not a pretty sight, and Joy knew that. So unless she wanted to maintain the dignity of the council she had to stop shoving ice cream onto her mouth. She decided that the tension in the room should have dissipitated and that she has delayed enough and went straight to the room.
She couldn't be more mistaken.
Joy was about to push the door with her shoulders since her hands were incapable at the moment, "Noona." she heard Jin say aloud; it was in a breathy voice, but it wasn't a hushed one. With one word it carried with it a tinge of frustration and hopelessness; as if it was drawn out of sheer desperation.
Joy's body adjusts in front of the doors , her once leaning position now stood rigid. She felt the taste of ice cream go bland on her tongue.
Why does it have to be now?
Why does it have to be me?
Why does it have to be her?
"No." Joohyun's voice cut through the deafening silence; Joy's heartbeat raced, it wasn't of hope, it was of pity. The voice Joohyun used was cold, and calloused.
It was so cold it burns. It burned and seared itself on Joy's mind.
Joy could only imagine Jin, pouring out his feelings, bottled up and bursting only to be met by a clearcut impassioned statement.
No?
Two letters.
Barely a word.
Never an explanation.
The girl by the door gritted her teeth, she knows she should go, that it would be easier to pivot and turn around - to act as if nothing happened and nothing was heard. But before she decided to just go, she heard footsteps approaching the door and she immediately plastered her back on the wall, so that when Joohyun stepped out of the room in a hurry, Joy was barely seen, only a shadow in one's periphery.
Joohyun was oblivious. The world faded out from her sight and the only thing she can see is straight ahead, which felt nothing like her heart that kept on wavering. She trudged the empty hallways, her back to Joy who cannot help but look on as the lone figure descended a flight of stairs and disappeared from her sight.
Stunned, Joy was left by the door, not sparing a glance inside, no matter how much she prepared herself she'll never be ready to look at him. She plopped herself outside the room
It's not even supposed to turn out this way.
She shivered as she sat on the floor outside the room. Unable to move a muscle.
Isn't it that the main characters are supposed to be together? That's textbook high school romance. If this is a manga, its definitely shoujo or probably slice of life. They are basically everyone's OTP.
She sat there aggravating about a love story that's not even her own, almost forgetting that only a lone figure exited from the room, and the one she's more concerned for is left inside.
She hastily stood up and barged inside the room, and there he is, as if she never left, Jin sat on his chair almost reverent. If Joy didn't know any better, it would seem that he was casually lazing around, the ambiance of the room was serene, not even a hint of what probably went down in the past minutes.
She was met with a pair of spectacles over red tinged eyes. Her heart ached, she almost clutched it physically. She probably stared too long, she lost her opportunity not to make it awkward. Nonetheless, it was the man who broke the silence.
"You bought a lot." He laughed lightly, gesturing at all the food she bought.
Stop. She thought. Stop pretending to be okay.
She nodded, and placed the food on the table,
"Ah. Joohyun-sshi left already." He casually said, not even a hint of his voice faltering. He could almost convince Joy that nothing happened, and that she actually misheard a lot of things. Almost.
I told you to stop.
As if propelled by a force unbeknownst to her, she strode towards him and engulfed him with her fumbling limbs giving him a hug, knocking air out of the man.
He laughed, heartily, too lively for her taste as he patted her back, consoling Joy as if she's the one that needed consoling.
He knew that she knows.
"You wear glasses?" She awkwardly untangled herself from him, shifting to a topic she was actually interested in.
"I usually wear contact lenses." He showed her the case of his contacts, "I'm blind without these."
Why did you change them? She wanted to ask.
But she knew, it must've been hard to cry with lenses on. She shook herself, no she shouldn't be thinking about it when he isn't even mentioning the incident.
"It suits you though." She complimented him. It's true it beautifully frames his eyes. Plus, Joy actually has a thing for guy in glasses. But she cannot shove the idea that she's talking about something too superficial, when he's probably here barely breathing inside.
"I kinda have an insecurity about wearing them."
He does?
"You do?"
"Yeah."
So they talked. They talked about anything.
Anything but her, she-who-must-not-be-named.
▪▪▪○▪▪▪
They say the silent ones are more dangerous. You never know what they are thinking.
And when they act instead of say, it's much more chaotic. Like a kettle boiling inside, only to announce it's turmoil with an ugly sound.
Jin probably gave out one of the ugliest sounds there is. Early in the morning, the student council room was in chaos, Joy was about to enter the room and drop some of her things in the lockers but she was met with some hushed voices beside the door, students loitered in the hallway when it's almost 15 minutes before class starts.
She fumbled though the door, slightly catching a glimpse on the glass part of the door of a very odd looking broom in the middle of the room. Paying no attention to it she opened the door and to her horror she realized what she thought was a broom was actually the bleached hair of the vice president.
She almost rubbed her eyes and would have laughed it off, thinking of it as a cruel joke but Joohyun's stance while facing Jin and Yoongi's very dark hair was too much of a contrast, that she immediately shut her mouth.
He's self destructing.
"Jin. We are expecting more from you," Yoongi was saying, "what idiotic move is this? You know the repercussions of your actions. These fools won't let me graduate in peace!"
Joy almost froze. She doesn't think he's the right person to talk sense into him right now.
"Jin." Joohyun started.
She isn't it either.
"What were you thinking?" She's using that tone again, the one that she used on him a few days ago. "We expected too much from you. Too much." She crossed ger arms over her chest, "What a really mature move to do." She spat sarcastically, eyeing him again.
That's when Joy noticed that it's not only his hair that changed, his uniform was unbuttoned too low, his shirt was not tucked, he looked messy, he smelled messy, as if his goal was to be the complete opposite of the proper dress code.
"Do you think that helped in anything at all?!" Joohyun hissed,
Joy felt her hand clench on her sides. Everything is making her angry. Joohyun knows full well the reason for the sudden change and she was being too viscious about it.
"Hey hey. Everyone can we sit down and talk about this calmly?" Joy tried to convince them. She's trying her hardest to be the level headed one, as the others have obviously thrown their rationality out the window.
But no one seemed to hear. The bell rang loudly, and a few hushed voices were heard outside as the eavesdropping students hurriedly scrambled and dispersed, their footsteps fading.
"Do you think we won't suspend you?" Joohyun gritted her teeth.
"I don't know what you're trying to prove. But if you let small things affect you then you're proving to be a weak one. The council is in no need for those kinds of people."
Jin was silent, as he had been throughout. He stopped giving a care on anything, his actions would probably do him more than any words he could muster. Dyeing his hair and breaking the dress code was petty in comparison to what other students do.
But Jin is Jin.
And if this is also Jin, then who is Jin exactly?
Yoongi turned to Joohyun, noting that what she said was too harsh and uncalled for, he gave her a warning look before turning back to Jin, "I'll- I'll talk to him first." Uncertainty laced in his voice, "We'll talk somewhere else." That's all he said before leaving the room, holding on to Jin's arm for him to follow.
Joohyun stood for a good minute with Joy being few meters behind her, seething.
"You know why he was like that. You didn't have to be a bitch about it."
As Joohyun made her way to the door she was stopped by a voice she didn't quite register, because Joy doesnt use this kind of voice. Yes, she wears her heart on her sleeves, but she's never been pushed so far that she had to use a cold menacing tone, let alone use a language alien to her.
"Sooyoung?" Joohyun asked, clearly convincing herself that she misheard, even slippingout her real name.
"You're too heartless, president. You know full well why he was acting up." Joy is now walking up to Joohyun, wanting to get her point across.
"He's not a kid. He is not my responsibility." And Joohyun, turned again, about to walk out but Joy grasped her forearm, whipping her body back to face her.
Joohyun, taken aback by Joy's actions stared numbly at the hand grasping her own.
"You could have told him more gently. You could have said it nicely. You could have given him an explanation instead of just saying no. He deserved that explanation Joohyun!" Joy tried to control her voice, but her body was squeezing Joohyun's arm and the girl flinched, prying away the hands that held her, she's almost flailing, trying to stay in check.
"And then what, huh?!" Joohyun's voice rose. "Do you think he will stop? If I told him nicely do you think he will not try again?" Incredulous, Joohyun continued, "You know him. We know him, Joy! He's not the type of person to give up."
"You might have given him a reason to." Joy tugged at her, afraid that the girl will escape once she let her go.
"Good for him then! He will gave to give up on something one way or another, today or in the future." Joohyun was using her full voice, it was shrill and penetrating. "He was honest, and I gave him my honesty, he doesn't deserve to be lied to."
"Is it Yoongi?" Joy softened.
"Yes! That dimwit!" Joohyun's tears formed, her eyes now glassy mimicking Joy's.
"But what about you? Is it really about me? Are you being honest to yourself, Joy?" Joohyun tugged on her arm when she felt Joy falter for a moment. She cradled her sore forearm - it will surely form a bruise.
Joy was unable to answer. She was sobbing, she looked at her hands, reddish and hot, she felt her face get wet. "Unnie." Her voice wobbled, so as her legs as she sat on the floor, unable to support he weight any longer. "I like him too much, don't I?" She gathered her knees and placed buried her face on them.
Joohyun, sat down opposite Joy, she wanted to comfort the other, she knew she was harsh with her words. But grabbing her isn't supposed to be the calm and collected way to do it.
"Aren't we both?"
Joy whipped her head to Joohyun.
Joohyun chuckled, "I mean with the same 'liking too much' statement, but obviously not the same guy." She gave out air quotes, and exposed her reddening skin.
"U-Unnie. I'm so sorry about that." Joy tried to caress Joohyun's arm.
"Plus, you have another year with that tantruming kid. I only have a few months with Yoongi." She absently noted, not paying much attention to the girl who looked at her through bleary eyes.
"I kinda needed that though. I had to let it out, you know. Probably not in that manner, but you bluntly called me a bitch so I might have let it out too passionately. You're not getting away with this though." Joohyun casually said pointing at the reddening skin on her arm.
"Unnie I'm really sorry. I was not thinking clearly."
"That's pretty obvious."
Joy buried her face on her knees again. Joohyun touched her leg, "I'm not angry, not really. People have different reactions to heartbreak, don't you agree? Some people get soft and some get hardened in the battle for love."
"But then again that's no reason to grab you and displace my frustration at you." Joy finished.
"Right." Joohyun was able to smile as she saw Joy rubbing at her eyes. "So I've thought of a really nice, let's just say retributive justice." Joohyun smirked.
Joy sighed at the euphemistic label of the older, "Unnie, just say punishment."
Joohyun's eyes sparkled, anticipation building up in the pits of her stomach. While Joy gulped hard, she's not liking any of these.