Jennie Pov.
Inside the car.
Lisa fetched me again this morning. And I'm curious, she kept glancing on me the whole ride. It's not that I complain but I felt like her stares was full of questions.
And right after we managed to drop off my sisters. She handed me something.
"What is this?", I asked confusedly.
"Those are vitamins, and pain relievers.", Lisa said flatly and started the engine. Droving off again.
"Why would you gave me these?", I asked as I took a peek inside the paper bag. And I found 4 bottles of vitamin, 1 box of pain reliever plasters which are specially for muscle pain.
"There's a lot of them? Are you planning to overdose me? Hahaha.", I said teasing her.
"No, of course not. I bought 4 for each of you and your sisters, they should take vitamins as well that's very important. Just took the vitamin atleast once a day. And those muscle pain reliever patches, when you feel sore somewhere. ", Lisa said while pointing at the bottles in my hand while driving.
"Wow, you are so thoughtful. And I really do appreciate it a lot Lisa. But you see, you didn't have to do this for me. I'm ok, I'm healthy-", Lisa stopped me from talking by placing her finger on my mouth shutting me up a bit hard, which startled me.
"Jennie, I swear if you say another word. I will fucking kiss you!", Lisa said now glaring at me. Is that even a threat? I just smile looking at her.
"Why are you smiling?", She said looking at me with confused eyes.
"Nothing. Oops, thats a word will that be counted?", I said and covered my mouth and smiling sheepishly.
Lisa without any second thoughts pulled the car over in a haste. And my heart almost jump out in suprised because of the sudden break.
Lisa then unbuckled her seatbelt in a rush.
"Wait, what are you doing?", I said in panic, looking at her with wide eyes.
Lisa didn't reply and went down of her car. And walking over to my side, I just watched her with confused looks.
She quickly opened the door on the shotgun seat where I was seating.
"Lisa?", I mumbled while looking at her face. She didn't looked back at me and instead she unbuckled my seatbelt and guide me down from the car.
"I can't do this to you properly inside the car. But I've wanting to do this to you from the moment I saw you this morning.", Lisa said while looking at me straight on the eyes.
Then after, she suddenly pulled me and wrapped her arms around my shoulder and burying her head on my neck. Hugging me tight, like she never had done this before. I don't know what's happening to her, but she seems so concerned about me. And It's so overwhelming, do I even deserve this person when all I did was lie to her?
Jennie's Flashback.
The unexpected night..
"Is this what you want?, do you want me that bad?! Fine I'll give you what you want!", She said and my eyes went wide. As I felt her lips pressed on mine. She- she just kissed me on the lips! She fucking stole my first kissed!
"Uhm! Uhm!", I was struggling to get her body off me but she was so heavy. She was pinning me with all her weight. Then I felt her tongue on my lips trying to get my mouth open.
I scrunches my eyes close and writhing small cries beneath her. Please stop.. I'm getting out of air, that I didn't have a choice but to open my mouth. And soon as I opened it she darted her tongue inside my mouth.
"Urhmm.", I was still struggling to get her off. This is not what I dream my first kiss should be!, she was violating me, she was kissing me roughly. And all I can do was to cry.
Then I felt her hands sneak inside my jacket. Making me jolt up in panic. No! Please..
She didn't stop.. I couldn't stop her, I felt so weak, and I let her do things to me. I'm not responding either, as I was crying the whole time.
she started undressing me, I begged her to stop, but it was like she didn't hear me. When I was all naked in front of her she started kissing every part of my body.
But her touches and kisses became gentle as time goes by. And I didn't know what to feel anymore, I felt tensed but somehow I felt needy. What's going on? Why am I feeling this?
My mind stopped working, and my heart was beating fast as I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her head that was kissing my neck. I pulled it to deepened her kiss as I whimper with all the emotions I felt. My tears doesn't stop from falling. Not because I was being humiliated but because of the fact that I was pulling her now and breaking all of my beliefs, I am not like this, I liked a guy, I'm straight!. but I was letting her touched and kissed me. I'm the worst.
She pulled away from the kisses, and and stares at me with those lustful eyes. Then she started taking her clothes off.
This was my chance. I could kick her, and get out from here before she even went further. That's what my mind was telling me, she was just a girl and I am capable of pushing her away at this moment. But the worst thing I did was, stares at her body..and waited for her to finish undressing.
"I'm sorry for pushing you hard a while ago. I'm really sorry. Do you want me to stop?", She asked with a deep voice. Looking at me with gentle and concerned look. But my own self betrayed me, because I shakes my head in response. Telling her to continue instead.
Then she kissed my forehead before she start to spread my legs apart, I closed my eyes and bit my lip, gripping tight on her shoulder as I anticipated the approaching intrusion and the next thing I felt was a stinging pain down. I cried even harder as I finally felt it inside me, it was painful at first but she tried hard not to be rough until I felt pleasured by it. I let her do it, I can't believe I let her do it. Everything I believe I was crashed down in just a matter of seconds, if I didn't turn around this would never happen.
If I didn't listen to my conscience and left her lying helpless on that bed I won't encounter this. But I still choose her, and now I'm the worst, I can't believe we done it not just once, I even came multiple times. Does this make me a slut now?, I felt so dirty of my self. I hate her, but I hate my self more for letting this things happened. I want to wake up now from this nightmare. Or if ever this was real I want to sleep and never wakes up.
End of Flashback.
But you didn't remember a thing.. so..
I lied to you Lisa. I lied, you didn't raped me , but I was to damn afraid to even admit it to my self at that time. Look, how am I supposed to tell you that I let you do me? I can't tell you that!, no way in my mind that I would admit that to you, because all I ever knew was I'm fucking damn straight! that I like a guy and not a girl!, but I was wrong! I made my self believe it was a rape. Because I don't know how am I supposed to tell you the truth? I regret it. I really regret that I lied to save my self from humiliation. I'm such a damn liar.
But even how much I regret it this time for not telling you the truth back then. I can't turn back time I already lied. It was all lie!
So do I deserve you?, I'm coward and selfish. I only thought of myself, I shouldn't have done that to you Lisa. And how I wished I could tell you all these now, but I can't imagine you hating on me so much. I don't want to lose you. What am I going to do?
I hugged Lisa back as tight as she did to me. I'm sorry. I know I was wrong. And I'm really really sorry.
"Jennie.", Lisa mumble as she held my chin up with both her hands.
"I want to ask you something.", Lisa said, brushing her thumbs on my cheeks gently.
"What is it?", I asked.
"Can I court you?", Lisa said as she gulped. This is wrong.. I know I liked you so much, but I couldn't stop thinking about what I did to you. I should be happy by now, that you finally have this intentions for me. That you are finally showing me how sincere you are. But I don't think I deserve you.
"I'm sorry.", I mumbled as I looked at her eyes. My views started to get blurry, and her face started to show confusion.
"Why are you saying sorry? Why are you crying?", She asked with concerned look as she wiped my tears that started to fall from mu eyes.
"I'm sorry Lisa, you can't. We can't.", I said starting to broke down on tears as I lowered my head.
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Lisa Pov.
At my office.
"Hello, Mon amie?", I said on the phone.
"Mon amie! why did you call? what's up?", Seulgi asked.
"She answered me with 'I'm sorry', what was that?" I said while looking at Jennie's direction outside my office.
"What!? what did you asked?"
"I just asked her if I can court her?", I said biting on my lip. Feeling stressed.
"What the hell mon amie! you've been rejected!? hahahhaha", Seulgi laughed that made me furrowed ny brow.
"yah~ that can't be!? no way.", I said brushing off my hair in frustration.
"She doesn't want to take things seriously with you."
"But I thought she hates the fact the I was only flirting with her, and so I asked her in a formal way like you said. I don't understand what's going on." I said huffing and grunting on my seat.
"Calmdown Lisa, maybe she just realized something. Which we do not know what was that. What are you been doing to her lately that you think caused her sudden change of mind?", Seulgi asked that made me thinking of the past happenings.
Is it about me being friends with Rosè? or Is it because I asked her to stop working as a replacement driver? or is it about what I did to her? Fuck I don't know what to think anymore. I huffed as I shuffles my hair and clenched my hands tight.
"Maybe because I'm a bad person.", I said while massaging my forehead.
"No, you are not mon amie. Don't say that. What you can do for now is show her all your good sides then. Do you still want her despite rejecting you?"
"Yes I do. I really do mon amie. You think she would change her mind if I'll be good from now on?", I asked and staring at Jennie again outside.
"You're good on your own way mon amie. Just show her how sincere you are. You can make her say yes, by being true to yourself, don't feel down because of just one rejection. You can ask Rosè about that." Seulgi said and I heard her chuckled which made me rolled my eyes in annoyance.
"Yah thanks for your fucking advice. That really helps a lot."
"Hahaha, just kidding. Don't worry, us girls really are moody. May she wasn't in a mood. Try asking her again but not today. Just wait for the right time."
"yeah thanks.", I said and hang up, taking a deep breath.
Sighed~
"What's happening to you Jennie?", I mumbled and rested my head on top of my desk while looking at her.
At lunch break.
"Ms.Kim.", I said as I walked over her desk, cause I couldn't take it anymore
When she wasn't even looking at me.
Jennie then got up from her seat and looked at me, her expression was blank. Mina saw us, Jennie then looked at her.
"I'll join you guys. I'll go down after our talk.", Jennie said flatly. While Mina nods at her.
"Let's go to you office.", Jennie said in monotone. I felt cold with her way of talking to me. And it's getting me all confused.
And so I walked back to my office and was followed by her. I quickly closed the door and opened the fog lights so we could talk privately.
"Jennie, I'm sorry for asking you about it. I'm really sorry I know I don't have the rights.", I said and lowered my head.
"No, it's not you Lisa. Please stop thinking like that.", Jennie said and walked towards me. Standing in front of me.
"I know it's me, you are just trying to be nice to me. You can blame me Jennie. You can get mad at me, I would totally understand it." I said and looked at her. My heart is getting heavier, at each words I utter.
"No! it's not you! how many times do I have to say that?, You're not the one with fault.", Jennie said and her eyes started to pour tears. I don't know why is she saying these? why not me? I did took advantage of her. It was all my fault.
"Jennie?", I said and walked over her cupping her face. Wiping those tears..
but suddenly..
"Hi Lisa!", I heard Rosè's voice coming inside my office. Jennie quickly moved away from me. And wiped her tears dry.
"I'll talk to you later.", Jennie mumbled softly and not looking at me. As she dashed outside in a rush passing through Rosè.
I couldn't move at my place, as my brain stopped functioning. I was so confused right now, and couldn't comprehend what's happening. I felt really anxious, and afraid.
"Lisa, I'm sorry to barged in again. I didn't know you were talking to someone at this time.", Rosè started to speak that got me out of my thoughts.
"huh?", and I could only hummed in response. My heads was still in daze. That I have to lean back on my desk and massage my forehead.
"Hey, you look pale what happened?", Rosè quickly run towards me and cupped my chin up.
"It's nothing. Maybe lack of sleep I guessed. But don't worry I'm fine.", I said as I slowly removed Rosè's hand on my chin.
"Are you sure? you don't look so well. hmmm.", Rosè said and looking at me intently.
"I'm really fine. By the way why are you here?", I asked now looking at her with furrowed brow as well.
"No way. You didn't know? Your mom was here in Seoul. She just arrived here this morning.", Rosè said happily. Well my mom and her was really close, and I even felt like she's the real daughter and not me.
Wait! did she said my mom was here in Seoul!? My eyes went wide opened as It finally sink in to me what she just said.
"What!? My mom was here!?", I exclaimed while Rosè just nod at me in response.
My head started to ache and I felt dizzy again. But this time my knees started to get weak that I have to grab on Rosè's arm for support.
"Hey, Lisa! are you sure you're alright? I think we should go to clinic.", Rosè said in panic as she held my shoulder trying to level my head on her. Her words are a bit blurry, I suddenly had difficulties on hearing her. I was scrunching my face and slamming my temple with my palmed trying to get the pain out but it wasn't helping.
"I'm okay, I just need to seatdown.", I said and smiled to Rosè to assure her I'm alright.
Rosè then helped me. Get back on my chair. And then quickly went to my drawer to get me my medicine. And pour me a glass of water. Then rushed back towards me, opening the bottle of medicine and getting me a tablet from it and handed it to me along with the bottle of water.
I took it from her hands and smiled weakly to her.
"Thanks." I mumbled softly as I shove the tablet on my mouth and drunk the water she gave me.
"You're stressed again. Why? you always got headache when you're stressed. And I'm worried about you.", Rosè said looking at me with concern visible on her eyes.
"It's nothing I was just thinking about the upcoming event, 1 week from now. The schedules are tight and you know me I want everything to be perfect.", I said while leaning back on my chair and massaging my forehead while my eyes was closed. I lied, it wasn't about work. I'm so fucking restless not because of work. But because of someone else.
"You know you can tell me Lisa, if there is something bothering you. You can tell it to me.", Rosè said and l held my hand squeeing it tight. Like she always did when she knows when I'm in pain, or severely stressed.
"Was it about that girl?", Rosè asked. And hearing it made my head ache again. As I opened my eyes looking at her in disbelief. I slowly retracted my hand from her which made her expression change, she looked hurt from what I did. I suddenly felt guilty about it.
"Let's not talk about her.", I said averting my eyes on her.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked about her then.", Rosè voice change and became soft and low. Which I know she was feeling sad.
"Uhm since it's lunch would you like to have lunch with me then?", Rosè asked as she got up from her chair in front of me.
"I want to but my head was in pain.", I said as I lowered my head.
"Of course I know. I was asking if you could join me having lunch in here instead.", Rosè said pointing at her spot. My mouth formed and 'O' as I finally get what she mean.
"Oh ok I get it. Sure.", I said smiling at her.
"Ok I'll just go outside for a while then? And grab us lunch, I thought I could invite you to eat outside, but since your having headaches then I'll just grab something for both of us instead.", she said and slowly walking towards my door to exit. And I just not at her until she got outside.
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Rosè Pov.
That girl was crying a while ago, and Lisa eyes was full of concern as she followed that girl's figure until it went outside her office. And I can only clenched my hands tight trying to supressed my anger as I saw it. Maybe that girl was the reason why Lisa was stressed. And I hate how Lisa was extremely affected by her.
As I wen't ouside Lisa's office. My eyes quickly landed on the back of that same girl Lisa was with earlier. The girl was with her employee and it got me curious when those two entered a room a bit farway from Lisa's office.
"huh?", I mumbled as my curious ass drag me towards that room. Trying to sneak a peek inside. There are just few employees left in here. So no one's gonna notice me peeking on that room.
When I got closer on that room. I tried to slowly open the door with no sound as much as possible, and I did it. Without making any noise. I opened it a little. And moved my ears almost flatted on the door to listen to them.
"Mina, I lied to her. I lied to Lisa."
"She didn't raped me. I lied and accused her of something she didn't do."
I heard it. I heard it clearly. And that voice. It was her.. I heard her just a while ago..
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So everything was clear now?, But I'm waiting for these intelligent people to come ranting here again. Cause that's all they know. "oh it was still rape she was still forced at first." some will say this. But again rape was a TYPE of sexual assault, which includes sexual intercourse without consent. But Jennie gave consent here. She was forced at the beggining and that was sexual assault. But it's not relevant when she gave consent at the process later on. Lisa woke up without clothes right?, I've been repeating that a lot of times. How was that even possible?, those time that she was taking her clothes off are enough time for Jennie to get away from her. Jennie was not even tangled here with ropes or anything. And Lisa was a girl, Jennie could fight back. But she didn't. So she did let it happened. Those who accused my fic without even reading the whole story and understanding it in a much deeper way were not using their brains and just their mouths. And I pity them.