CHAPTER 34
[ JIMIN'S POINT OF VIEW ]
Filled with an overpowering sensation of happiness, I want to forget the reality of my life, sorrows and misfortunes I have had faced till now. The feeling of being wanted by someone you love was an old friend of mine that was lost somewhere out but seems like, slowly and steadily things are going the way I want them to be.
I just don't want to be a want instead I want to be the need.
"He never calls me to hang out with him, hope everything is okay." I say to myself while pouting out my bottom lip. What could have happened that he called me so urgently?
The lift stops at the sixth floor of the building, where Yoongi's apartment is. I step out, running a hand through my hair.
"Haven't got used to the new hair colour yet," I sigh, walking into the empty hallway of the building. Standing in front of the apartment door, I ring the bell twice.
It didn't take long for the door to open. What shocked me is the one who opened the door for me. Never would I have imagined him opening Yoongi's apartment door.
"Tae, what are you doing here?"
I ask confused by him standing with an unreadable expression on his face. He shifts to the side, giving me space to enter the apartment. I narrow my eyes at him as he didn't answer to my question.
The moment I enter into the living room, the confusion is doubled instantly.
"Okay now what are you doing here, Hobi?" I ask, resting my hands on my hips. Since when we all started to hang out like bros?
Hoseok doesn't answer, I look at him with one raised brow. But he just looks away at someone on the other side of the apartment. I follow his gaze and my eyes meet his.
"Can you answer me because these two have decided to stay mute?" I snap annoyed by the behavior of these two people. I came with my cool but lost it.
First, I don't know why they are here?
Second, I don't know why Taehyung looks so quiet and Hoseok isn't answering to my question?
Third, I don't know why Yoongi looks worried?
"Speak?"
I say, growing impatient. Moving my gaze from Yoongi to Taehyung to Hoseok none of them are willing to speak. Why are they standing like three monkeys?
I roll my eyes, groaning in frustration, "Will someone tell me what the hell is happening?" I yell.
I see Hoseok and Taehyung flinching slightly because of my sudden change in tone but yoongi seems unfazed.
He sighs, walking towards me slowly, "Jimin we need to talk about something," Yoongi says, holding my hand as he pulls me to sit on the sofa right across Hoseok and Taehyung.
I look at him, furrowing my brow, "Okay.. about what?"
"You won't over react?" He says, begging me with his eyes. The hell he did now?
"About what?". I repeat the same words again. It's Yoongi that I am repeating myself else...
He lets out a huge sigh, rubbing hands on his face. I feel a weird forming in the pit of my stomach, why am I nervous? I swear if he did some stupid shit..
"Can you stop being so dramatic and tell me already?" I say, frustrated by them enough already. I don't understand why are they even testing the level of my patience when they know I don't have that.
"Hani.."
I look at him, scrunching up my nose. Just when my heart beat became steady.
"What about Han-"
"Jimin,"
I hear her call my name, cutting my words. I turn around to face her shocked by her presence in the house. She stands at Yoongi's bedroom step while staring at me with eyes puffy, nose slightly pink. She looks nervous and worried but I don't know why?
I stand up from the sofa immediately, confused after looking at her here at this condition. The more I ask the more I get confused. Why did he call me when he had to play these games..
"Hani, are you crying?" I say, walking towards her. Though, I'm really confused but watch her being so emotional makes me feel weird as I never saw her like this.
I turn back on to look at Yoongi with an annoyed expression , "Yah! Did you guys fight? What did you do no-"
Hani holds my hand catching me off guard as I was not expecting that, squeezing it softly. I look at her, concerned. I am genuinely worried about her now.
It is so quiet. Like something pull me out of this world to a whole new another world where noise is something that didn't exist. I can hear my heart as it beats so slowly fearing the next moment.
She is Y/N's best friend and if Yoongi hurts her, Y/N won't be happy and I won't let that happen ever..
"I'll help you, I'll fix everything that has been ruined at the first place,"
The words that leaves her mouth makes my heart skip a beat. For a second, I feel like my whole world just stops moving. The is not even the last thing I expected her to say. Does she mean what I think or?
I chuckle nervously, pulling out my hand from her grip, "What are you talking about?" I ask even though may be I know what she is talking about. I look bewildered, I know I am.
All I can do is clear my throat and look away, closing my eyes and sigh. I turn around completely to face the three boys who are now standing few meters away from me. I look at them, Yoongi is the one to nod his head and that is enough for me to know.
"You know everything, don't you Hani?"
I hear her sniff slightly, "Y-yes.." she stutters while speaking. I sigh, closing my eyes again as I throw my head back.
"Why?" I say, clenching my jaw and look back at the culprit. "I asked you to fix my life not involve someone who should not be,"
I know my words may hurt her, I know that damn well. But my life, my history; whatever happened in my past is not for someone to be told like this.
"She can help us. Jimin try to understand without being a bitch," Yoongi says, triggering me slightly but I try to stay calm. I am way too happy today to hurt hiim. He's lucky enough today, better not test me.
"You're lucky you are in your apartment, I don't want to punch your face here.." I lie, the reason is just I am way too happy because of Y/N. But if this become a problem for me, I won't leave Yoongi to be watching tomorrow's sunrise.
Yoongi rolls his eyes, crossing arms in front his chest. "Can you be a little considerate for once?" He says, raising his brow at me. I raised my brow at his words.
"Oh yeah, now we are talking about consideration. Who told you to talk about my past to someone who hardly knows me," I snap, forgetting everything around me. It's as if I see him standing right in front of me only.
Yoongi looks at me with soft gaze for a second but instantly changes his attitude to back to cocky again, "She is not someone, she is Y/N's best friend and we all know the things she doesn't tell anyone, she tells her.." He corrects me but I am beyond that to understand at the moment.
"So now we are going to do this?" I say, losing my mind. It's slightly hard for me to face Hani now. I can't believe she knows everything, she knows what I am hiding.
"Look, you asked me to hel-"
"I asked for help not fuck things up for me," I cut him off instantly. Is this really happening?
My mind is losing with every passing minute here I spend that I don't even realize I am talking about someone who is present in the same room and can hear me. I did not expect this to happen when I was on my way here.
What if she tells Y/N everything? No, she can't... she won't..
Taehyung walks up to me, eyes still speaking more than his lips. He is telling me it's all okay but I know it's going down the hill again.The house of cards, I am trying to build is going to tremble down again.
"Jimin, you have to trust him.." Taehyung tries to calm me down, resting his both hands on my shoulder. I gulp down my throat, nodding my head, "You won't tell her, right?" I say without even sparing a glance to her. It's like I can't look her in the eyes anymore.
I feel exposed, I feel as if all my brave facade as been out in the world to see. I may look strong enough to fight this world alone but in reality I am dying. I am dying on the inside and only few know about it..
My concern now is..
Can I trust Hani?
Should I?
Will I?
I only trust Taehyung and Yoongi for that matter... How can I?
"If Hoseok can know, she can too," Yoongi pauses, narrowing his eyes at me as I look at him. Hoseok grows slightly uncomfortable but that's not really my concern right now.
"She is ready to help, for once trust what I am doing, I am doing this for you. Why can't you understand this?"
Yoongi says in a frustrated tone as if he is not at all in the mood of arguing about it any further. He wants to settle this mess and talk it down.
His words melt me a little, I try to suppress my growing tension and anger. I know Yoongi won't betray me but Hani? I hardly know her, all I know is she is Y/N's best friend.
"I won't speak to Y/N about this not until you," Hani speaks suddenly, taking by surprise. I wouldn't lie I show as if I am relieved but I am not. What if she tells that's my biggest concern.
"You don't have any other option.." I mumble lowly.
I see Yoongi walking up to her and pulls her into a comforting hug. I nod my head, still not glancing at her completely but watch her from the corner of my eyes. She is looking at me, I can see it.
"So, how can she help us," I ask, calming down a little. Yoongi looks at Hani, poking her to speak or tell me something.
I look at her now finally, confused once again just like when I first walked into the apartment. He sighs when Hani doesn't speak.
Why can't no one tell me things without making it dramatic?
"You have to be more careful from now on," Yoongi speaks instead of her with a stern voice. He is hinting me something that I am not really catching.
I look at him,"What do you mean?" and speak while squinting my eyes.
Hani looks at him then at me, scared and nervous about something. She plays with her fingers, catching her lower lip between her mouth, she is having troubles in telling something.
"What is it?" I ask directly, straight forward while staring at her. My tone may reflect the demand to get an answer; enough of testing me for today.
She looks at me suddenly, voice shaking a little as she tries to speak loud but it comes out more like low whisper, "Jeongguk,"
My body stiffens and heart starts to beat rapidly against my chest. This particular name is clinging against me and Y/N and I have no idea how to make it go away.
I see something in Y/N's eyes when she sees him. I may try not to see it but I can't escape from it because I see affection in her eyes when Y/N sees Jeongguk.
"What about him?" I manage to ask.
Hani gulps down her throat, nervously. The next thing she speaks, breaks my heart. It was my fear but it is now in front of my eyes.
I see my life ruining right in front of my eyes again, "She might have feelings for him."
-
The leaves ruffled beneath the morning bright sky. The wind began to blow harder, growing more furious. Leaves continued to fall from the tress by the wind.
"Ah, it's been a long time," She said as she huffed to get more air in her lungs. She heard no answer from the boy, who stood behind her.
She had wrapped herself in a long silky clock that gleamed in the dull light. The wind took hold of it, flicking the cloth in the air. It took fronds of her hair and made them into lashes that beat her face and blew above her head.
He walked towards her and placed his hand on her shoulder, "You're okay?"
She smiled, looking down with shimmery eyes, tears formed in her eyes threatening to slide down her cheeks.
"I guess, I am." She answered, simply.
The feeling of mixed emotions layering her heart. She was happy yet sad. How could a place be so full and empty at the same time?
This graveyard is full; full of stones, moss, yew trees, and the decaying remnants of bone and flesh.
All around were the tombstones with their faded etching, a roll call for the people who cannot answer.
She stood with in the watery light of the early morning, living, breathing, life stretching ahead.
"I miss you guys so much," She mumbled before squatting down on the grassy ground. She stared at the two white marble tombstones, side by side; all rising from the manicured grass.
Yoongi huffed out some air, staring at the girl. He wouldn't lie, he felt sick at this place. If only she didn't ask a thousand times to come here with her he wouldn't have, at the first place.
He wanted to make her feel better, console her, stood by her side at the moment but he doesn't know how. It wasn't really in his nature but still he tried to do little things for her, his best friend.
Not many people carries a special place in Min Yoongi's heart. And she is one of them.
"I hardly know them still I feel so attached. I wish, we could spend some more time together. I really wish that,"
She spoke these words with with a heavy heart. It was very clear in the way it sounded to him. Though she did not come here to mourn or grieve instead she came here to tell a good news to the people who matter the most to her.
"Tell them, quickly." Yoongi said, tapping his foot against the grass ground impatiently. Being around the dead, he felt as if his soul was dying too. He doesn't feel good one bit and was trying his hardest to not be offending to his friend.
She rolled her eyes at his words, ignoring his words she kept on talking about few more things she had within her heart.
It had been a long time, she last visited them. She missed them also she wanted to apologize for not being able to visit that often.
Yoongi looked around the graveyard, it was neat and clean. Spiked, black fences surrounded the area almost like it was a prison. The smell of old stone filled the dry air, almost suffocating him. He knew he doesn't like being here.
"Come on, my parents are alive and I still don't take this much time with them,"
Words slipped out of his mouth unconsciously, he doesn't realise how he just spoke his thoughts out.
His eyes grew big right after the realisation hit him hard. Immediately cursing inside his head to himself, he apologized, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to sa-"
"It's okay, I am done already," She said, cutting him off instantly.
She got up from the position after placing some flowers on both the graves. Smiling warmly for the last time, she knew it was a goodbye for now.
Turning around to face the boy who was not only impatient but guilty now.
She flicked her finger on his forehead, shaking her head, disappointed,
"You should talk to your parents often before it's too late," scolding him as he groaned because of the pain in the centre of his forehead.