"Mum!"
We're on the car, the whole family is going out together for dinner.
Father started an argument with mother, having frightened Lana and I.
I was 16, and Lana was 3.
We were both so young, it was even more so for Lana.
"You don't even care about this family!"
"For fucks sake calm down!"
"Who was she?!"
"Mom!" I yelled, my heartbeat fastened as their voices filled the car. I looked to my right, Lana's face grimaced as she began to whine.
The poor baby could only cry to express her fear and sadness.
My voice was drowned out by their shouts, as if I wasn't even there.
I looked in front of us, as a vehicle drove in our direction.
I've seen this play in movies, tv dramas.
But this was real life. And it was my life. My movie. But I couldn't just yell cut and rewind.
A wave of fear washed over me, it seemed as if I had been living in a dream—or a nightmare, to be precise.
"Dad!" I screeched in terror.
The truck's head lights blinded my eyes, and all went black.
/
I lost everything.
My mother.
My father.
My childhood.
I only have Lana left.
Not a day goes by without me thinking about the incident.
Sometimes I still look at the scar on my arm from that night, and I cry myself to sleep. The memories never go away.
To make money, I've done several jobs to sustain us two sisters. I've delivered milk from house to house, sold newspapers on the street, sung at cafés. But none of those lasted. Now to feed the both of us I'm getting all the money I can get from working shifts at N' café.
We now live in a one bedroom apartment that I paid a homeless man to sign for us, since i was under age.
I tell them that he's my father, and he goes out a lot.
He doesn't exist.
Our beds are just plain mattresses on the floor.
We use the same two bowls every night, because we can't afford good tableware.
I struggle to keep up with the bills.
With the homework.
With taking care of Lana.
With my life.
People from both my parents' side either passed away or ran away with my parents' money.
I need to pull myself together, for Lana—I repeat to myself everyday.
I suddenly feel someone tugging at my shoulder.
"Aera!" I shook out of my thoughts as a voice called out to me.
"Are you ok? What happened?!"
She cupped her small hands on my cheeks, I felt the wetness of my own tears on my face.
"Get up, the floor is dirty!"
I can't let Lana see me like this again.
I say this repeatedly as well, but somehow I never succeed at keeping this promise.
"Ok, let's go eat dinner, how about that?"
She gave me a thumbs up and revealed her innocent smile.
I looked in the cupboard and there was only a little bit of bread left, so I took it all out—having no other choice but to do so.
I sighed.
I pull Lana onto the chair, and handed her the remaining food.
She handed one to me and spoke.
"Aren't you hungry?"
"Nope, I already ate." I lied, faking a smile that was convincing enough for a child.
Even if all falls apart, her health will always be my first priority.
I promised Mother that I will protect her, and take care of her.
/
"Mom.."
I held her hand tightly.
She was lying on the hospital bed, looking more dead than alive.
"Aera.. I'm tired.. I'm really sorry... take care of Lana ok? " Her voice croaked of pain, shivers were sent down my spine as fear creeped in.
I knew very well what those words had meant, it was the typical line a character in a movie would say before their last breath.
Now I was hearing my own mother saying them.
"No, don't give up now, the doctors will save you!" I cried. I didn't know whether if the words I spoke were true or not, but it had obviously been what we had both hoped.
If mother hadn't fought with him that night, then things wouldn't come down to this. If father hadn't been untruthful. Despite all these 'if's, they were not the reality. The reality is much uglier.
"I love you."
Her hands dropped down from my cheeks.
A deadly sound comes out of the machine.
"Make it shut up....."
This is it.
"Don't leave me! Don't do this to me!"
I shouted and pulled at the sheets, even when i knew it wouldn't bring her back to me. I already lost my father, my heart was going through too much to think rationally.
The nurse came and pushed me aside,
quickly pulling the covers over her head as people came in to mark her time of death.
"No! Stop! She isn't dead! Why aren't you trying to save her?!" I told them, but it was only to lie to myself, and to hide from the bitter truth.
I looked to the door, and there stood Lana.
She ran over to me, and cried in my arms.
I bent down and buried my face in her shoulders.
"Lana, Mom...is just sleeping ok? But she just might not wake up."
She is so young. Too young to understand. But she does.
"I miss mom already."
/
I wake up and stare at the ceiling. A new day for a new life.
Today will be my first day at my new high school. Things didn't go well in my last one.
I stare at the big building before me.
I am an independent woman who can take care of herself, and the ones she loves. I can do it all. But looking at the building before me, made me question myself all over again.
Am I really the brave girl I always thought I was?
My life was ruined by a kingka and I won't let it happen again. I loathe those kind of people. Those who think they are superior to others simply for their social status, or even more so— their financial state.
Most of the people who are like this have things handed to them.
I took a deep breath before taking my first step into the building. My shoulder hits someone else's as I passed by them. I turned around, mentally cursing at myself for my clumsiness.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry-"
"What the fuck? Are you stupid?"
Let me guess.
Kingka?
The stranger's eyes lingers on me for a second. He snaps out of it eventually and takes off. I swallow. What was that?
"Step away from him, you bitch!"
Yep.
Fuck.