A/N: Hey guys sorry for the long extended hiatus, I have a job and most days I come home too tired to do anything! Thank you for your patience! Also it's come to my attention that some of you wondered where the original version of this story is, what I can say is this is the original story (same plot/characters etc.) but it is just upgrade from all the cringy writing I did when I first wrote this at 13 years old.
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Triggering Dialogue: Lucy's Point of View
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Stars Dance
Chapter 60
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Selena's Point of View
I GOT READY quickly and quietly careful not to wake Jackie who despite my efforts to remain as silent as I could be, stretched and squirmed around her bed before taking a big yawn which caught my attention with a big smile. She sat on the edge of my bed, as she watched me pace around, gathering myself for a class I already felt like I was running late too. She stood up and walked over to the coffee maker that was in the corner of our dorm and turned it on.
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"Why the rush?" Jackie questioned rubbing her eyelids with her fingers.
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"I woke up slightly late." I said pacing back and forth.
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She raised a brow, looked over at the digital clock on the nightstand and then back at me, maybe I wasn't was late late. She lifted her shoulders and turned around to pour herself a cup of coffee and offered me one in the process. "Coffee?" She said motioning the cup towards me.
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I smiled. "Thanks."
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"So how was Friday night with Zayn and Saturday morning with him?" Jackie wiggled her brows followed by a smirk and I knew exactly what she was hinting at. "Cause I mean I wouldn't know, I was with Adam these past few days." She confessed.
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"How about it? So you and Adam huh?" I tried turning this around on her. "Did you guys...you know?" I nudged her slightly.
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She clicked her teeth and nudged me. "No, no, no, don't try to turn this back around on me. Are you guys together, have words of forgiveness been spoken and amends been fixed?" She tried sounding poetic.
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"If you're wondering if we slept together...just say that." I laughed.
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"So did you guys fuck or what? Such suspense." Jackie said bluntly.
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I rolled my eyes. "If you must know, we did, but I was too drunk to remember it all." I admit. "I couldn't spare you any detail...plus it was a big mistake." I say.
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"But you love him-..." She begins .
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"Yeah but none of it changes the fact that he lied to me about everything." I said annoyingly. "Besides you knew about it too the whole time and didn't say a word." I rant more than I intend too catching myself by surprise with widen eyes.
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She cleared her throat letting out a slight scoff. Knowing Jackie maybe I shouldn't have crossed the line. "I know, I know and I will admit it, and you have every right to fucking hate my existence right now." She admits. "I should've told you something, I should've just ignored Zayn and just told you all of it." She says sipping into her coffee. "I'm sorry." She apologizes.
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I nods her head sideways letting out a sigh of relief. "It's fine, I'm just frustrated with this whole situation, Zayn's love life isn't any of your business now that you have your own. I just-...he asked me to go to Bradford with him this weekend and I don't know what to do, I said yes..but I don't know-... my head is telling me don't go but my heart wants to do the exact opposite." I admit. If anyone knew what Zayn was thinking, it would be Jackie.
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She sets her mug down near the coffeemaker. "Oh Selena." Jackie says embracing me into a tight hug. "I don't want to tell you something and have it go to shit, because at the end of the day it's your choice." She admits to me. "All I can tell you is, whether you choose to go or not, at the end of the day Zayn has good intentions with all of this, whatever it is he's planning. I have never seen him willing to fight this desperately." She admit.
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"Really?" She questioned. "Not even for Lucy?"
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"A few times yes, more than I can count actually." She admits honestly. "But it got tiring after awhile, he looked mentally and emotionally exhausted." She confesses. "She drained him out of his energy completely." Jackie admits. "He was lifeless, what she did to him wasn't the Zayn I grew to know. He was different...before her." She trailed off.
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I took her hands in mine. "Jackie please tell me. You have to tell me from your perspective because he will never confess it to me." I nodded my head sideways. "I imagine it's traumatic for him to talk about and he will never truly tell me." I begged.
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Jackie chuckled nervously. "Selena I don't know..." She was hesitant.
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"Jackie please." I begged. "I love him." I admitted to myself. "But I can't love him unless I know everything that lead up to everything being this way. The secrets, the lies...please Jackie." I begged.
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She sighed running her hands through her hair before giving in. "Ok, ok." She said sure of her answer. "Fine."
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We sat in the sofa and she cleared her throat pushing her hair behind her ears. "Listen I can't tell you everything, everything but because of her Zayn and I were distant for while. She drove a wedge through us and I was really upset because at the time I thought nothing could separate Zayn and I, we were like to goddamn pea's in a pod." She chuckled.
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"What happened?" I questioned.
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"Listen I won't lie to you, because it shouldn't be a secret, we're both adults and we should be able to handle things maturely. Zayn and I before her, we were like a thing." She says carefully. "We weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would occasionally mess around with each other from time to time." She says.
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My eyes widen. "Wait-...you and Zayn-..." I begin.
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She rolls her eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh. "Yes Selena, Zayn and I would fuck each other from time to time ok?"
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I nodded my head. "So what does this have to do with Lucy-..."
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"She just didn't like that I was around much and involved in Zayn's life like that, I mean his mom adored me and his sisters loved me, what the fuck was I suppose to do just get up one day and leave? No. I stayed out, I respected their relationship which meant Zayn and I weren't messing around with each other like we used to at the time before she came along. Except she just didn't like me." Jackie chuckles. "I was Jacqueline Jacobs the schools whore, and she couldn't believe Zayn had befriended such a monstrosity in her eyes." She continued. "What else was I suppose to do? Levi and Zayn were all I had, I was an only child and my parents were dead beats-...I mean for me? It didn't get any better than that." She lifts her shoulders.
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I nod my head side to side. "I can't believe I didn't see any of it before, her time, her words the way she would get annoyed at Zayn's presence-...I'm fucking blind." I said angrily.
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"Eventually Zayn got sick of her, on and off on and off, all the time. She's entangle him all these professed words of love and "this time it's gonna be different' bullshit and he would always go back to her." She rolled her eyes.
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"How did that affect your friendship?" I question her.
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"Eventually I just got sick of seeing him just beat himself up for things that were out of his control." She confessed. "When I tell you she was like some fucking witch that managed to bring him back to her every single time...Zayn was just constantly down. It's like he kept going back thinking things were going to be different with her." She admits. "He already had enough shit going on with him and his parents and then comes some girl who just manages to turn your whole world upside down?" She explains. "I told him straight up one day, and it backfired because he hit me with the "if you're not happy for me and support me in my relationship-...what kind of friend are you? Bullshit." Jackie explains.
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"I'm assuming that's the wedge." I chuckle.
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Jackie nodded her head. "She fucking took that thing and carved it deep between us, that's the first time Zayn had ever and I mean ever chose her over me." She points with her finger in the air. "I saw how horrible and miserable he would be everyday because of her, to the point he didn't want to move out of bed, and he still went and chose her over me."
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"I bet she thought she had succeeded." I comment.
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"She sure fucking did, because eventually Zayn and I managed to come back and he and she were done for good. Zayn and I got it in a few times after that and here we are now." She lifts her shoulders.
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"Well they weren't completely done, if he didn't have the fucking balls to tell me everything from the start." I debate. "Months after months and Lucy nor did he say one word to me."
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She clicks her teeth and rubs circles or comfort in my upper back as she leans into me. "The thing you have to understand Selena is their relationship ended but it left many pages unturned." She explains. "Zayn has had fought a long battle with his own thoughts and feelings about her, because she was a toxicity that just managed to pull him in every single time he fought to push her away." Jackie explains. "Lucy likes mind games, and she fucked with his mind so badly that at one point I swear to you he thought he couldn't live with out her."
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I looked at her confused. "How?" With eyebrows pushed together.
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"That is not my story to tell." She says motioning a zipper on her mouth and tossing away the key.
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I sighed and nodded my head thinking about that trip to Bradford with Zayn twice as hard now. I turn to Jackie. "She's the mean girl that basically bullied you in high school isn't she?" I put the pieces together of the insinuations of "girls" making Jackie's high school experience miserable.
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"I was wondering when the pieces were going to start clicking." She motions with her fingers. I chuckle.
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Zayn's Point of View
I sat in the study hall room, trying to have a second to myself to call my mother. Selena had agreed, to go with me to Bradford this weekend but something told me she wasn't fully on board with it. If I called mum before hand and tried to get her and my sisters to tone down a bit, I didn't want Selena to feel awkward or uncomfortable if she decided to go.
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I took out my phone beginning to dial my mum when Adam approached me with a smile that appeared on his face. "Hey-..." He said.
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"Listen." I sat up leaning close so no one could hear me I looked around before focusing my attention back to Adam. "Just because you and I are siblings doesn't mean we're suddenly close, so fuck off." I said.
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He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Trust me nothing would be worst than letting people know you're related to me." He defended himself.
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"Really because the other day Chris was this close" I motion with my fingers. "to finding out."
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"Oh yes I couldn't tell my the way you immediately defended me." He adds, my eyes widen a bit. "You sure handled it there." He chuckles.
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"You two just cannot stay apart now can you? Zayn you've replaced me so quick." Another voice that wasn't Adam or mine's intervened, we looked at each other and then the figure that stood in front of us. To my demise it was Chris, who just finds a way to meddle in every single time.
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I sighed and stood up and Adam followed holding onto the strap of his satchel. "May we help you?" I said through my gritted teeth.
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"Not really but since you and Selena are practically done, after you lied to her about you and her "best friends" past" He air quotes. "since I can't stand you, and love to make your life miserable every chance I get...I just want to stick it in your face that I plan on making a move on Selena." He smiles proudly. Adam looks at me with raised brows and I turn my attention back to Chris.
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Chris would be the last person Selena runs to, there was no way Selena would even think about starting some sort of relationship with Chris. Sure she didn't see how much of a demon he really was but he isn't her type. Then again neither was I.
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"Over my dead body." I say.
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Chris chuckles and I ball my fists and nearly charge towards him, but Adam grabs onto my shoulder. "Oh Zayn." Chris taunts me. "You have no idea what's coming your way. Zero fucking clue."
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I frown at him confused. "What are you talking about?"
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"A little birdie told me, that Lucy might be" he motions his hands over his stomach. "I mean-...like get the picture?" He laughs. "Or do I have to spell it out for you?"
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My eyes widen. "What?" He smirks and says nothing else, I loosen myself from my brother's grip and I angrily grip onto Chris's shirt collar. "What the fuck are you talking about?!" I exclaim.
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"Zayn." Adam says trying to get me to let him go.
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"Christopher I'm not fucking playing-..." I say angrily ignoring Adam's ability to pull me away.
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"Pregnant okay?" Chris blurts finally. "Lucy might be pregnant." He says. "Get off of me." He shrugs me off.
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As he fixes his shirt and Adam looks at me with widen eyes and I turn my attention back to Chris. "What do you mean pregnant!?" I nearly exclaim.
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Pregnant? Pregnant.
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Chris laughs. "Yeah." He says. "Now there is no way Selena will ever look at you again." He says as he begins to walk off. "Or what? Are you going to deny a child to be with a girl?" He laughs.
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Adam tries to bring me back to reality. "Zayn he might be lying...just to mess with your head." Adam tries to reason. "You know he's-...Zayn please listen to me." Adam says. "Don't be a hotheaded, think about this for a second."
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"What do you mean-...you don't know her." I exclaim at my half-sibling. "How am I suppose to be calm? Adam she will go to extreme measures to make sure I don't find the happiness I fucking deserve even if it means using a poor defenseless child that has nothing to with any of this shit!"
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"But why-...why are you so sure?" He questions.
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"Because-..." I run my fingers through my hair pulling at the strands.
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"Because?" Adam questions.
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"It's happened before." I say and nothing more, walking off to find out the truth down to the source.
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Selena's Point of View
After class I sat in the library going over notes and taking some more down, for a quiz I had in these up coming few days. It was quiet for the most part, and I sipped on my refreshed that sat on the table in front of me. No matter how hard I tried to focus on the notes in front of me, I couldn't concentrate. I debated my thoughts and feelings about going to Bradford with Zayn. It had been on my mind, since I told him yes. Everything was subject to change if I just didn't feel like going in the end.
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Although, deep down something within told me I should go. I didn't know what to do. Maybe agreeing to go with him out of impulsiveness was dumb of me to do. I sighed and gathering my things and put them in a book bag. Standing from the table I sat at, and tossing my book bag over my shoulder, grabbing my phone and refresher before walking off.
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I stopped on my feet in front of the row of one of the bookshelves as I spotted Zayn walking into the library in which he looked like he was on a mission to find someone. Maybe he was looking for me? However, he looked upset. If he were looking for me why would he be upset? My attention turned to one of the tables in the middle and my eyes widen when I saw it was Lucy along with Ashley and Vanessa and they all sat there and talking.
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Zayn approached the table and began whispering something to a Lucy, I couldn't make out what he was saying but she nodded her head no. He said something to her again, and sighed and stood up from the table. He grabbed ahold of her arm, and they both walked out together. My heart dropped because in the end something would always connect the both of them. From what Jackie told me, something would always connect Zayn to her at least. Even if he didn't want to become involved with her, something always just managed to bring himself back to her.
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I quickly hurried my way back to the dorms, and I knew once I walked back inside I was going to let out a river of tears. Even though I told myself that in the end Zayn and I would find a way back to each other that was impossible, if Lucy was always in the way. This hurt so much and maybe going to Bradford with him wasn't a good idea after all. I just wanted to disappear where no one would ever find me again.
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I turned down the hall when I noticed Zayn and Lucy had beat me here, was I really that deep into my own heart that I veered off the course of my own destination and they made it here before me? He still held her by her arm and she tried to keep up to speed with his walking.
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"Ouch Zayn...ouch let go you're hurting me!" Lucy said enough for me to hear. "Zayn I'm serious."
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He pulled Lucy in front of the door of a dorm that was once mine as well. "Yeah well this is own a fraction of what you you deserve, open the fucking door we need to talk." I heard Zayn say angrily.
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"Someone's in a mood." Lucy said with a smug look on her face, running her finger arose his jaw.
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He shrugged her off. "I'm so fucking serious and you're testing my patience." Zayn said.
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"Ugh fine." She said and opened the door to her room, she walked in and he followed after her. Shutting the door behind them.
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Lucy's Point of View
If looks could kill I would be dead just by the way Zayn is looking at me. There is a dark shade in his hazel eyes and he's standing his ground in the middle of my dorm room as I am forcibly pushed inside by an angry Zayn. "You're such an asshole." I said above a whisper.
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"If I'm an asshole what does that make you?" He exclaimed. "You're fucking crazy Lucy! What is Chris your little messenger now?" He said.
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I frowned. "Ok first of all, stop fucking screaming at me. Two? No he's not I don't even know what you're saying to me right now." I said.
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"Don't fucking act stupid with me right now." He said all in my face point his finger at me. "I don't know what kind of sick twisted friendship you have with him but he uses every opportunity to throw it in my face!"
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"If you don't care then why does it bother you so much?" I crossed my hands over my chest.
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"Because I can't do it! I'm done-...I'm done with the mind games, you've fucked with my head before and I'm not going to do that to me again! Are you or not?" He rambles on. "Answer me."
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I scoff. "What the hell are you even talking about?" I exclaimed.
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"Lucy you're testing my fucking patience right now." He said above a mumble.
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I let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't even know what you're saying-..."
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"Pregnant, are you or are you not pregnant?" He blurts out.
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My eyes widen, I looked at the trash been near my vanity and then back at Zayn. He knew exactly what I was looking at and went straight for the trash can. "Zayn-..." I said as he pulled the box out. It was empty.
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Early this morning I went out and bought a pregnancy test, since that day when Chris even mentioned the fact that I could be pregnant it got me thinking but I didn't really consider that a fact until symptoms began becoming more visible. I took the pregnancy test and I know by now the results have been marked and it was a matter of time until I just walked into the bathroom to check the results myself.
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"You obviously took it, are you or are you not?" He questioned.
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"I don't know." I admitted. "I haven't checked myself." I said. "If I was? Not that you'd give a fuck anyway." I said truthfully.
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"That's not the truth and you know it." He argued back. "Why would Chris rub it my face then huh?" He said.
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"I don't know maybe because he has a big mouth. It's Chris." I lifted my shoulders. "For fuck sakes!"
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"You two will not stop until Selena and I are apart, I know that because I know you and him." He argues. "The kid is not even mine is it?" He chuckles.
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"I haven't had sex with anyone since-..." I begin.
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"Since the day you fucking spiked my drink and I magically ended up in bed with you? That night?" He reminds me. "Where's the test?" He says.
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I roll my eyes and push past him towards the bathroom. As nervous as I am for the results, I am eager to find out. The instructions on the back of the box said one stripes for no and two stripes for yes. I can hear Zayn follow behind me, when I spot the white plastic stick on the counter and I reach for it.
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My eyes widen, at the results. I notice two stripes. "Oh my god." I whisper. "I'm pregnant." Suddenly a rush of happiness takes over me and I turn around to look at Zayn. He's in disbelief and takes the test from me. Looking at the results himself he grows quiet. "We're going to have a baby!" I cheer.
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"You're fucking crazy." He exclaims. "Do you hear yourself?"
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"Isn't this what you always wanted?" I say to him putting both of my hands in my stomach. "We're going to be parents again." I smile. "This time nothing is going to get in the way of that." I say. "Everything is going to go back to normal."
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"Listen to yourself for once Lucy." Zayn to points. "Nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever bring us back together." He stands his distance. "You're fucking insane if you think you've found away to tie me down." He exclaims. "You're getting a DNA test as soon as your far along enough, because this is too much, you will not use a poor defenseless child that has nothing to do with whatever the fuck this is" he motions at him and I. "between you and I to further fuck with my mental stability." He warns me and begins to walk away.
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I chuckle. "You think Selena will just take you back freely knowing you have a kid on the way?" I remind him. "You obviously don't know her but she would never get in a way of a mother and her child." I tell him. "What at you going to leave your kid for some girl?" I follow after him.
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"You need help Lucy!" He exclaims.
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"No I need you." I tell him truthfully. "This is what you wanted isn't it? For a long time. I'm pregnant with your child and now you're going to deny me? Deny our kid?" I frown.
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"You will not and I mean will not entangle me in your lies." He warns me. "Because for once in my fucking life I can think for myself with out you breathing down my neck!"
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"I will get my father involved." I threatened him. "We both know how well they worked out last time." I smirk. "So either you accept this, or my father will make you accept your responsibility. I assume your daddy will be in your corner defending you-...oh wait." I laugh. "He hasn't for ten years." I smirk. "The point here is my child will not be left without their father." I exclaim. "Is that what you want? For our kid to end up the way your father walked out on you and your sisters?"
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"I regret ever falling in love with you the way I did." He nods his head side to side. "I can't believe I failed to realize the monster that you truly are, you're a liar, a manipulative-..." He bites his tongue. "I don't think you ever truly loved me, because someone like you could never anyone but themselves."
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I chuckle ignoring his words. "I'm giving you want you always wanted." I remind him. "A child." I smile. "Is it not?"
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"Lucy that was a long time ago." He sighs in frustration.
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"Well this is a chance to redeem ourselves-..our relationship." I reach for his arm and shake his arms around his shoulders and neck. "There can finally be a you and I again."
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He immediately grips my arms and takes them off of him. "There is no you and I, there will never be a you and I ever again. I love Selena. I love her." He reminds me.
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I roll my eyes and let out a frustrated groan. "Oh my god Zayn! Get her out of your fucking head! She's never going to love you the same again! You broke her after you and I-..."
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"No, no, no." He immediately interrupts me. "After you fucking drugged me and got into my bed and god knows what else you did to me!" He exclaims. "I know Chris had as much to with it as you did, you both planned all of it didn't you?" I roll my eyes. "Answer me!"
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"You listen to me." I bite back. "You will never know happiness with her unless I allow it." I point at him. "You will never out run me Zayn because deep down in your heart you love me." I smirk. "Deny it all you want, but I will live in every fiber of your body and every thought piece of your head because I am ingrained in your mind, body and soul."
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"You're fucking delusional." Is all he says. He eyes my stomach. "You're getting a DNA test done for that child because if it is mine I will be damned before I let it grow up with a mother like you." He says before walking towards the door.
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I grow angry at his words. "Two can play this game Zayn!" I exclaim angrily. "Selena will never forgive you!" I shout grabbing a book and throwing it at the door as he walks out behind it. "I will make sure of it!"
***