"Uh oh," I mumble. I try to sink lower into my seat.
"HUMANS!!! AND GOAT CHILD!!"
Papyrus runs over to the couch. I yelp as he gives all three of us a gigantic bear hug at the same time.
Asriel somehow manages to get enough air to yell, "STOP CALLING ME THAT!!"
"Please let go of me, Paps," I squeak, "I really don't like hugs."
"Right, sorry, I forgot." He sounds kinda sad, but puts us back down. I see Sans behind him giving me that look that says, 'If-you-don't-apologize-right-now-i-will-chase-you-around-blasting-megalovania-and-screaming-"bad time"-for-the-next-hour-and-a-half.'
I just give him that, 'are-you-freaking-kidding-me-with-that-bs-'bad-time'-all-you-want-that's-not-gonna-make-me-like-hugs,' glare.
"I still don't really understand why you don't like hugs, Chara." Sans says nonchalantly.
"Don't like talking about it," I mumble. I say louder, "and I'm sorry Papyrus, its not your hugs specifically, but all hugs in general."
"It is okay, Chara, I understand! Well, no, I don't understand, but I respect the fact you don't like hugs." As he turns around to hug Sans, I give Sans my most dramatic eye roll. Happy now?.
He glares at me kind of defiantly. Yep.
Freaking idiot.
Of course, don't get me wrong, I don't hate Sans; I don't hate anyone in my family, and that's what he is- family. I'm a naturally.....not aggressive, that's not the right word.....I'm just a really sarcastic and sardonic person, so don't let it put you off. I'm just like an average teenager; I use sarcasm way too much and I can across as a complete asshole to people who don't know me. Don't think i hate everyone around me just because I say it; most of what I say is a joke designed to make people laugh. I really do love my family, and I know I really don't say that enough, but just don't judge me on how I come across because I guarantee that if you met you me you wouldn't think, 'oh she's a terrible person.' When I call Sans an idiot, I say so with an eye roll and a sort of half smile. Just like I do when i call any of my family an idiot. Y'know what I'm saying? Sorry, I know that was a little off topic.
"Hey, punks." Undyne says to us, putting some bags down next to the couch. "They finally let you guys out of school?"
"Yep," Frisk says happily.
I stretch leisurely across the couch, since everyone else who was crushed by Paps' hug had decided to just stay standing. "Awesome, right? Now you get to hear all my great jokes, all the time."
"Oh please, don't. You're puns are just as bad as Sans'." Paps.
"Oh pfft. Sans isn't even on my wavelength."
Sans intervenes, "Um excuse me," He says sounding offended. "I'll have you know, my puns're way better than yours."
I look at him, lying on the couch in a way that my feet are hooked over the headrest and my heads off the couch so I'm looking at everyone upside down. "You wanna' bet, bonehead? I've been making puns and telling jokes since before you were even thought of."
"Pun off! Pun off!" Azzy and Frisk cheer.
Sans rubs his hands together. "Time to prove I'm the true Punlord." He looks at me," so first one to laugh concedes?"
Inwardly I wince. I've always been one of those people who can laugh at pretty much everything. I don't tell him that though. "You're on. But don't forget, I won last time."
Everyone forms a circle around us as we sit at either sides of the coffee table in front of the couch.
"yeah, and I won the one before that, remember? I swear you laughed at the stupidest joke I made, too."
"Well...the fact I won after that negates it." I say defensively.
"Anyways, last loser goes first, so bring it, Comedian." I challenge him.
"Ok," he says. He think for a moment. "RIP water; you will be mist."
Crickets practically chirp in the background when no one laughs.
"....Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've heard that one before." Azzy says dryly.
"I have to use all my bad puns first," Sans says, "It's the only way to soften her up."
" Sans, ALL your puns are bad!" Papyrus says.
"Well, you walked straight into that one," Undyne says at the wounded look on Sans' face.
A grin spreads across my face. "Yeah I guess you could say..."
"CHARA DON'T!" Papyrus yells
"...That.."
Azzy scowls at me. "Do NOT finished that thought. Or i swear I will chase you around with my swords."
"...They're...."
Toriel buries her face in her hands.
I look straight at Sans as I finish"...bad to the BONE!"
Toriel starts to laugh so hard she can't breathe. Sans takes a deep breath while looking at the ceiling, trying his hardest not to laugh.
I know Sans. I know that his greatest weakness is Skeleton puns. Well, that and ketchup, but that's irrelevant to my next pun.
"Hey. Hey Sans."
"Yes, Chara?" He asks with his game face on.
"Y'wanna know why skeletons are so calm?"
"Sure."
"Because nothing can get under their skin!"
Sans takes a couple more deep breaths.
I'm kind of surprised he's lasted this long. When skeleton puns are brought up, he's typically out like that. That's part of the reason why I took the time to memorize all sorts of them. That, and they're kinda funny at times.
"Why don't you ever want to have an argument with Pi?" Sans asks me with a sly smile.
Oh shit. He's bringing out the science and math puns. I'm dead.
"Why?" I ask, trying to keep my face devoid of emotion.
"Because their irrational!"
I somehow manage to not laugh. "That was good. That was a good pun."
Papyrus looks confused. "I don't get it. How can pie be anything but PIE? It is an inanimate object that can not have feelings..." He squints at his butterscotch pie, as if it might start arguing with him at any moment on the subject.
Sans and I bust out laughing, as does the entire room except Papyrus, who just looks even more confused.
"Oh.....My god...." Frisk gasps through fits of giggles. "I can't even anymore."
Sans and me can't even breathe enough to say anything. Instead, we're just flat on the floor on our respective sides of the table, laughing profusely.
When we've all recovered (and Papyrus got an explanation as to what Pi is and how its different from 'pie.') Mom asks, "So who won?"
"Papyrus. Definitely Papyrus." Me, Azzy, Frisk and Sans say at the same time.
"I dub thee....Sir Papyrus the Punlord." I say, making the room laugh again.
When everyone's finally calmed down, Toriel says, "Children, it is late and you have a long break ahead of you. Why not get some rest?"
"Okay mom," Me, Azzy and Frisk say, getting up to go to our room.
"Oh. Wait I got something for the 'human Sans'." Undyne says, pulling out a large bar of chocolate out of her bag. She hands it to me."Here you go, and merry early Christmas."
"You are my favorite person right now," I say, my face lighting up as I hold the chocolate in my hands
Toriel looks at me sternly as I start to walk out of the room. "Do not eat all of that at once."
"Yes, mom," I say with my fingers crossed as I back out of the room.
I walk into our bedroom.
It has three beds; two bunk beds on the left side of the room and one normal on the right. Me and Frisk sleep in the bunk beds; him on top and me on the bottom, (because I twitch a lot in my sleep. Originally I had slept on the top, but then I fell off in the middle of the night, so we decided to switch). Azzy sleeps in the twin bed on the right side of the room because he snores pretty loudly when he's really tired. In between the beds is a window that's bigger than me. I gaze through it. Its dark, but I can just barely see the snow softly falling. Underneath the window is a really long nightstand. On top of it is a family photograph of all of us that's facing towards my bed. There's also a couple of random objects scattered across its surface; a pen, an alarm clock, a random pencil top eraser that's on its last legs, a book report, etc.
Me, Azzy and Frisk all share a room. Not because we have to; our house is plenty big enough for all of us to get our own rooms. We share because we want to. None of us are willing to sleep alone, because we all have pretty bad nightmares that occur really often. The second night we stayed here ,(the first night it was thundering, so everyone had a slumber party in the living room because none of the monsters were used to it.), we were actually given our own rooms. Needless to say...it was a complete disaster. Frisk apparently, had a really bad nightmare and was screaming for me, and Azzy freaked out when he woke up from a nightmare and saw none of us were there. I woke up from a really scary bad dream, too, but I'd just stayed in my room, rocking back and forth and trying not to cry too loudly. Long story short, Azzy and Frisk and me had ended up sleeping in my room, and the next day, Sans was helping Toriel set up three beds in one room. Four years later, we still prefer to sleep in the same room. It helps keep the nightmares at bay a bit.
After tossing the chocolate on my bed, I rummage through the dresser to find a pair of pajamas.
Score!
I pull out my favorite flannel PJ's. I pull off my locket and hang it on the hook embedded in the frame of the bed. I go to change into my PJ's in the bathroom before they get here.
When I'm done I throw my clothes in the hamper. I grab my locket off its hook. (the hooks are there for when we go to sleep so we can hang our lockets up, but I always sleep with my locket on. It makes me feel better if i have a bad dream. Frisk and Azzy don't know I do though.) I put it around my neck again and hang my sweater up on the coat rack screwed into the wall behind the door, just as Azzy and Frisk burst in.
"Eeek,"I yelp as the door barely misses me. "Watch it!"
"Woops. Sorry, Chara." Frisk says sheepishly.
"No harm no foul, I guess."
"Mom says to get ready for bed." Azzy says from behind Frisk.
"I already am." I say. "You two are slow."
"I'm not slow," Azzy says as he takes off his locket, "I just like to talk." He hangs it on the post by his bed. Frisk does the same. They both grab a pair of PJ's and go to change.
I put the chocolate bar on the dresser and get under the covers, pulling them close to my face as Frisk and Azzy enter the room again, this time followed by Toriel, who tucks us all in.
"Goodnight, my children. I love you. Sweet dreams."
"G'night, mom. Love you, too. Sweet dreams." We say back to her.
She turns off the light and closes the door softly.
"G'night Frisk."
'G'night Azzy."
"G'night Chara."
Not even a couple seconds later I hear the snap of a candy bar from frisks bunk.
I get up and say, "Yo, Frisk, y'know the drill. The Chocolate Tax is the only thing I ask for for keeping your ass alive in the Underground."
I hear Azzy snort from his bunk.
Frisk mutters, "Yeah, you didn't really do a good job of that. I recall dying a lot while being down there," but still hands me a square of chocolate.
"Thanks," I say.
I lay back down. I place the piece of chocolate on my tongue and savor the semisweet flavor. I fall asleep with the sweet taste of chocolate in my mouth....
And walk straight into a nightmare.