I had to wake up early to catch a plane to Russia but I haven't stopped throwing up since last night. The idea of me being pregnant with Patrick's baby was not sitting well. I had no clue how I was suppose to tell him, and by no means was I ready to raise a baby let alone have another relationship. I should've never went out, I should've never taken this job. If I didn't take this job I would be perfectly fine, but that was a lie I would probably still be being abused by David. I boarded the plane and quickly found my seat, I got comfortable and slept for the ride. As I waited for Patrick's mom I had the sudden urge to cry, but I was able to hold it in.
"Alyssa" called Donna and Patrick's sister as they waved . "hey" I said as I hugged them, even I could hear the shakiness in my voice
"Were gonna head over to the olympic village, Patrick already has his first practice"
I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times we had been checked by security. When we arrived at our rooms I was thankful to have a room to myself because the first thing I did was throw up yet again. I was sitting on my bed sobbing when there was a knock on the door. "Hold on" I yelled as I scrambled to grab a tissue and clean up a bit.
I opened the door to Jessica.
"Hey babe, come in"
"Hey, thought I would stop by"
"Is your brother out of practice?"
"Yea but he's with my dad" she shrugged her shoulders as she sat on the bed, she than opened the nightstand draw.
"They gave you these to?" She said as she showed me the condoms
"They left them for everyone" I laughed, if only I used one.
"So how are you and my brother? How are you guys not together yet?"
"It's difficult, I'm personally not ready for a relationship but your brother is a great guy"
"I've actually never seen him stick around a girl for this long"
"Huh?"
"I know my brother well, he doesn't last long with relationships. It's mostly because of his schedule but it is what it is" she shrugged again
"I get it"
"It's getting late but if you want you can join my mother and I for breakfast tomorrow morning in the olympic village"
"Will do" I said as she walked out of the room
*
7 in the morning and I was running to the bathroom again to empty everything into the toilet, morning sickness blew. I still had no cue how I was suppose to tell patrick I was pregnant with his baby. I couldn't ruin his career, I could adjust to a baby but as for Patrick... I just didn't know. As soon as we flew back I would go to the doctor, I needed to keep the baby healthy. What would happen to Patrick and I..how would our friendship go? I wasn't going to have a relationship with him just because I was pregnant with his baby.
Once breakfast rolled around I met up with Donna and Jess for some food.
"First game tomorrow" she laughed she cut her pancake
"I'm so nervous"
"We all are, Patrick is making it harder on himself"
"I hate when he does that, sometimes he forgets how great of a player he is"
"He's also been really emotional" said Jess
"Hey um breakfast was great but I'm not feeling to hot" I said as I got up "this should cover my food, I'm sorry but I'm gonna go back to my room" I than ran out of the restaurant, I had the sudden urge to cry.
I was walking though the olympic village, my Blackhawks sweatshirt was the only thing giving me warmth. As I was walking I saw Patrick's blonde curls, maybe I could talk to him, but as I got closer I saw his lips locked with a short blonde.
"Patrick?" I mumbled, I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Alyssa it's not what it looks like"
"Just forget it Patrick" I said as I tried to hold in my tears, I quickly turned on my heel and ran. Anger and fury raged inside me, I had the sudden urge to punch a wall but at the same time I just wanted to crawl in a dark corner and cry. My heart felt as if someone ripped it out of my chest and stomped it into the ground, on top of all this I felt I had to throw up again.
"Alyssa!" I herd him call out from behind me but I didn't stop running.
I ran into my room, letting all my anger loose and punched the lamp next to my bed. It smashed into pieces and I began bleeding from my hand. I was gonna have a few new scars, I got up and opened up the first aid kit from the bathroom, luckily for me I can wrap injuries. I Cleaned out the wounds than wrapped my hand, after I went back to my bed. Tears came flowing out like rivers as I held my self in a ball on my bed. "He's the biggest dick ever" I mumbled to myself. I looked over at the broken lamp and stopped my tears.
"What am I doing?" I said to myself. I'm getting frustrated over a guy I'm not even with. It's funny because all this time everyone was telling me how hard he was trying to be with me, even I saw it but it obviously meant nothing.
* I had to be up early, well in at least in Chicago time, to be at the game today. I had rewrapped my hand again, it had bled through some gauze last night. I had also covered my face in concealer, the bags I had under my eyes were ridiculous from the lack of sleep.
There was a knock on my door "come in" I yelled, knowing it was Donna.
"Are you ready to go sweetie?"
"Yep let me just put on my boots and scarf" I quickly tied my black combat boots than wrapped my USA scarf around my neck. We quickly made it to the arena
"We just need to get the nod and were good to go" Said Jess as we to the glass. We stood there and I watched USA skate onto the ice, I couldn't bring myself to look at Patrick. He skated around toward us but I turned my head away, I couldn't bring myself to face him.
"Alright we can sit" laughed Jess, I followed her to our seats. After the game I decided to skip waiting outside the locker room and just head back to my room.
*Patrick's POV*
"Jon!" I called out
"I'm not aloud to be seen with you" he laughed
"Jon this is fucking serious" I said nearly close to tears
"What did you do?" His voice turned serious
"Your remember Jackie?"
"I don't remember half the girls your with"
"Shutup, anyway she's here and we were talking than all of a sudden she kissed me"
"Okay?"
"Alyssa saw"
"Nice job you dick, what did she do?"
"She just turned and left, I fucking screwed up again!" I yelled
"Why just once can I not fuck up?"
"You need to talk to her"
"She can't be that mad, she did come to the game today"
"Pretty sure it's only because she was with your mother and sister"
"She still came, no but Jon can you please talk to her?"
"I guess" he sighed
*alyssa's POV*
I was lying in bed watching tv when there was a knock on the door, behind it stood Jon.
"Hey" I said as I opened the door wider
"Can we uh talk?" He said as he rubbed the back of his neck
"Did Patrick send you?" "Uh" he mumbled, my voice got stern "did. Patrick. Send. You?"
"What happened", I could no longer hold back, everything bottled up inside me blew up
"You wanna know what fucking happened?!" I raged "everyone is sitting here telling me how hard Patrick is trying to be with me or how much he likes me, it's all bull! He only wants to fucking get in my pants! I already had one bad relationship and I'm not about to have another! So you tell your little fucking Kaner that he can go kiss all the girls he wants but he better not come and try that shit with me!" By the time everything was blurted out I was sobbing, my knees became weak and I collapsed to my knees.
"Lyss" he said as pulled me into his chest
"I didn't know this is how strongly you felt" he said
"I'm finishing up Sochi okay? After that I don't know what gonna happen"
"I'm gonna talk to him okay? You need to relax" he said as he tucked away a strand of hair
"You just tell Patrick this, I don't owe him"
"Huh?"
"He'll understand" I said as I got up and made my way to the bed. Jon hugged me goodbye and left, as for me I struggled not to take an antidepressant, i refused to only because of the baby.
*
Another day, another win and I was getting weaker by the day. I had been eating really healthy in hopes to keep the baby healthy. On the outside I seemed composed but inside I was a wreck, it only continued to get worse. I was walking alone in the Olympic village late at night when Patrick and i's paths crossed.
"Alyssa can we please talk?" He said as he came closer, I could see the breath come from his mouth every time he spoke.
"Patrick what can you say now huh? You've ruined Sochi for me and you know what I don't understand? Why I'm so upset? Were not together"
"The girl I kissed" he took a deep breath, I could tell he was reaching his emotional limit "she kissed me, we use to date..."
"Patrick you do your thing okay, just leave me out"
"I'm sorry I hurt you"
"You know what Pat? If you really want something you work hard to keep it and maintain it.... You just proved you don't want me, and to think! I almost gave into having a relationship with you"
"Why can't you just accept my apology!" He yelled
"Because! Your words mean nothing anymore" I screamed "you don't even know what you did" I said referring to my pregnancy, with those last words I ran to Jon's room, I needed someone to talk to.
I knocked on his door, I hope he was still awake considering the fact it was 1 in the morning.
"Alyssa?" He said as he opened the door
"Can we just talk?"
"Yea come in, no ones here" he said as he let me in. I took a seat at the edge of the bed and he took a seat on the other bed.
"What's the problem?"
"Jon your the only one I trust right now" he nodded
"Patrick did something else besides kiss another girl" I sobbed
"Did he hit you?" He said pulling me into his chest, my new safe place
"No.... Jon I'm so stupid" I cried "no no. Don't cry" he rubbed my back
"Remember when all the hawks went out a couple weeks ago?"
"Yea, why?"
"Patrick and I had to much to drink" I took a deep breath "I don't remember what happened from that night" I took another deep "but I do remember this, white sheets and Patrick" I cried hard, to the point I started hiccuping
"Alyssa, are you pregnant?" he asked"
"Jon I missed my period and I just took a pregnancy test earlier.. I'm pregnant with Patricks baby" As soon as the last word escaped my mouth I could no longer hold back the rest of my tears.
"Alyssa listen, you cant tell Patrick right now, at least not here"
"I know that, i wasn't planing on telling him"
"Eventually he will have to know, just not now, especially with you in this condition. Let's wait till we leave okay? We can figure out everything than"
I knew I could trust Jonny, he was probably the only one i could trust. The first thing i did in the morning was send an email to the LA Kings, I needed to get out of Chicago, away from Patrick. I was hoping to get transferred there, my whole life was just flipped upside down again.