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Hey, Readers! Guess what......SCHOOOOOOOOOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER *INTO GUITAR SOLO*!!!! DEAR GOD FINALLY LIKE FOR REAL OMG!!! XD Freshman year = check! Three...more...years to go....On that depessing note, here's Chapter 32, ENJOOOOOY!
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Lucy P.O.V
I could feel the time closing near. I haven't left my bed in over a week, and I didn't want to ever leave. I had no energy. I had stopped with the pudding cups and the hours long of television. I always just stared out the window as I saw various people people walked through the streets. Acasia would occasionally walk in and ask if I wanted to do anything. I would usually say yes, but in my heart I didn't want to do it. When Len visited, I put the biggest smile I could. He would soon leave on a year-round tour with his orchestra, so he'd spend more and more time with me.
I already knew I was a dead man walking, so why not just face it.
One day, someone came that really surprised me.
Natsu.
I hadn't seen him since he broke up with me almost two weeks ago. It wasn't like I was angry at him or anything. I didn't think I could. But I couldn't help but feel even more depressed. He didn't know what I was going through right now. He didn't even know that my cancer had spread and my time was cut in half. He walked in with a box of DVDs and a very shy face. "Hey Luce."
I gave him a faint smile. "Hi," was all I said. He sat down at the end of my bed and raised for a split second before quickly putting it down. I built up the courage to just grab his hand and whisper, "You don't have to be shy with me."
Natsu smiled. "Alright, I brought a bunch of movies to choose from. We could watch Fast and Furious, or if you're feeling a little musical-y, then we could watch something like Beauty and the Beast, or if you feel like crying your eyes out, we can watch Brokeback Mountain." (A/N: Brokeback Mountain is probably the greatest movie of all time...If you didn't like it, I'd question your sanity.)
"You'd be willing to watch the third one with me?" I chuckled. He nodded, raising the cowboy movie in the air. I ended up choosing that movie for the sake of not wanting to remember the musical I couldn't be apart of and the fact that I hated racing movies. He hopped up and put slipped the DVD into the DVD player. He pressed play and plopped his way back to my bed. I wasn't really surprised with his behavior. Before we dated, we were best friends, completely comfortable with each other. "So what's this movie about?" Natsu asked.
"You mean you don't know?" I asked, baffled.
"Not really. It said on the cover 'Based off the award winning novel' and girls seem to like those kind of movies don't they?"
"Natsu, this is a homosexual movie," I chuckled. "Guy on guy."
His eyes widened. He slapped his hand upon his forehead and groaned. "Well how am I supposed to know that?"
"The cover."
"Whatever," he muttered. "I thought they were brothers." As we watched the movie, I continued to laugh at Natsu's reaction. At the scene where Ennis and Jack reunited after four years and how they aggressively began making out against the wall. I began to feel a little uncomfortable with Natsu right next to me. I was confused. I've been confused ever since he broke up with me. He was saying how he would still love me yet he couldn't be with me. I mean, what was up with that? Every time I would try and get closer to him, he would slightly move away. It was as if he was spacing himself from me more and more. Suddenly, my alarm clock begins to buzz, meaning it was time to take my pills. I slowly began to get up, but Natsu stopped me and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing...Just have to take some pills."
"I'll get them for you. Just sit here and relax." I would've said no, but I just couldn't say it with his eyes so dark and serious staring at my own. I relaxed and watched as Natsu brought over a tray of pills and a glass of water. He looked down at my tray and slowly stopped walking. His eyes slowly fell and looked over at me. I tilted my head and asked, "Is something wrong?"
"...There are more pills than last time. There were only five bottles of pills last time I was here. Now there are eleven...Did something happen when I wasn't here, Luce?"
For a moment, I thought my heart had stopped. Natsu didn't know that my cancer had spread. He didn't know that my time was cut into half. I simply gave him a soft smile and said, "I dont know what you're-"
"Damn it Lucy, what happened!" He suddenly yelled, making the whole room shake. I flinched in fear, and suddenly saw Natsu's eyes once again.
They were pleading.
I sighed and squeezed the blankets on my bed. "...Around a week ago, the doctors were doing a simple examination on me and saw blood in my urine. They gave me just a few pills to help me in it, but apparently, when I was asleep, a lot, and I mean a lot, of blood was on my bed. They did a biopsy on me...and, well, it spread. The cancer, I mean. All the way down, skipped my respitory and digestive system, and all the way down to my ovaries. My chances of children went all the way down to around thirty percent, and I have probably a few months left in me." I didn't bother to look at Natsu. I already knew how he would be. Depressed, sad, other synonyms with depressed and sad. But after I heard him put the tray of pills on the ground, he did something surprising. With one swift movement, the glass of water went from his hand and flew to the wall. I screamed with shock, "Natsu!"
"Damn it...God damn it!" He screamed, violently messing around with his head. "I thought I could fix things...Now that you don't have that much time...Fuck!"
"Natsu, calm down!" I cried. "There's nothing you can do!"
He looked at me and laughed. "Nothing I could've done? Luce, there are many things I could've done! I could've stayed friends with you when we were little. I could've invited you to my birthday party that day...I could've given you fucking Juliet instead of throwing her into the fucking street! And now, because I didn't do any of these things, you're...gonna...you're gonna....Shit." I grabbed his wrist and pulled him down to my bed. I slapped him. I left a red mark on his face, along with wide eyes. He looked at me with confused eyes. "The more you blame yourself, the more I feel guilty Natsu!" I yelled.
"Why are you guilty?" He asked.
I laughed, which triggered tears to fall down my face. "Natsu, you're not the only one who could've done something! I could've just invited my acutal friends instead of random classmates to my party. I could've acted like a grown up and acted happy that you've found friends. I could've looked both ways before crossing the street instead of runnig out there like an idiot! And the fact that now, I'm the one that's causing you pain...It hurts Natsu...It hurts to see someone I love so dearly in so much pain." At that moment, I was bawling. Tears fell down my face like a rapid river. It hurt so much to think that I was causing Natsu all this guilt from within. And the fact that he had to let it all out through such violence, it made me realize more how much I really cared for him. I loved Natsu. If there was a better word for love, that's how I felt for him. I suddenly felt Natsu's thumb brush over my cheek. I looked up and saw a few tears were making their way down his beautiful cheek. "Lucy, you shouldn't be crying."
"But I am! And now I can't stop! I just don't know what to do anymore! I'm almost at my crossroad with death! And even if I survive, which are very low chances...I can never truly be yours."
"And why not?" He asked, his voice cracking over his tears.
"Natsu, I can't have children. You've always wanted children. You even told me that if you were to ever have a kid, you'd give him some stupid name like Bill or Billybob. You said you wanted the same number of children as the stars. But I can't give you that. I can't give you any Bills or Billybobs, nor can I give you star children. I'm a barren woman. No one wants a barren woman."
Natsu then pulled me forward to his chest, squeezing me very tightly. I could hear the sound of his rapid heart through his thin fleece shirt. "You," he said, "are the most amazing, kind, beautiful, special woman I've ever met. I never knew something that could mean the world to me come in a little blond package. I don't care if you can never have children, or if your hair never grows back, or even if you lose half of your limbs...You'd still be my Lucy."
I looked up at his wet eyes and asked, "Does...Does that mean...?"
"I don't know what I was thinking about breaking up with you. The more far apart I am from you, the more I need to be wth you. To kiss you. To touch you. Just being around your presence gives me all this...I don't know, hope and energy, some other kind of spiritual, inspirational word. All I know is that I am, and always will be, in love with you, Lucy Heartfilia." I was losing control of my emotions. I was happy, sad, over joyed, and a bunch of ther emotions. I buried my face into the blankets to hide myself. It was already embarassing enough to be crying in front of Natsu. He pulled them down and placed his thumb over my tears. "I love you too, Natsu...So much that if I don't die from this cancer, I could die just from being apart from you." Natsu stared at me with his eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes. He grabbed my hands and lifted me to the point where I was sitting on his lap. "Natsu, what are you-?"
"I don't want to rush anything...Not during your fragile state, so I was thinking we could do the one thing we do best."
"And what's that?" I asked, but already knewing the answer.
"This," he muttered, bringing his face closer and closer to me. When his lips finally met mine, I felt this sensation that I hadn't felt in what seemed like forever. I kissed him back with an equal amount of passion, running my fingers through his lushes pink locks. Natsu deepened his kiss, and for the first time I heard him moan. His fingers were sliding all over my neck. I decided to be the person in charge and bit Natsu's upper lip, making him chuckle with amusement. He sought out his revenge, he bit my lip back, and through my embarrassment, I slipped out a lustful moan. After what seemed like hours but was only minutes later, we pulled away out of pure exhausten. I rested my head on his and continued to play with the ends of his hair. He pressed his lips upon my neck and simply placed them there. Behind us, we could hear the slow country music from the movie still playing, seeing that we had completely forgotten about it. "Should we actually finish the movie?" I whispered.
"I don't know. Do two gay cowboys really interest me?"
"Well, the book was pretty good. I say we should continue it."
"Do I have to watch all the gay sex scenes?"
"Yup."
"I hate you."
"No you don't."
Natsu P.O.V
Lucy and I both fell asleep in the middle of the movie. By the time I woke up, the end credits had just finished and the day-light was disappearing. I rubbed my eyes with exhausten and felt Lucy's head on my chest. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and found six missed calls from Mom. "Shit," I whispered, calling her back. She picked up immediately after one ring. "Natsu, where the hell are you? It's almost eight!"
"S-Sorry Mom," I whispered, trying not to wake Lucy up. "I was watching a movie with Lucy and we both fell asleep."
"Well, next time, please warn me about these things instead of making your mother worried, okay?"
I laughed softly. "Yeah, sorry Mom. I probably won't be coming home tonight. I'll just stay and watch Lucy." I could hear my mother sigh on the other side of the line. "Fine, but I'll have Mirajane check up on you, alright? Will I expect you at school tomorrow?"
"You can expect me to miss third and fourth period, if that's alright with you?"
"Classes?"
"AP English and P.E."
"Ugh, fine, I'll allow it for now, But no more of this, understand?"
"Yes Mommy," I recited back to her, hanging up the phone. I looked down at Lucy and rubbed my hand on her grey beanie. My stomach began to growl, and I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since the morning. I gentley tried to get up without waking Lucy up, but after moving her head slightly, I could hear her moan a little. "Na...tsu?" She yawned.
"Shh, go back to sleep. I'm just gonna grab a bite to eat and I'll come back."
"Promise?" She asked, still a little drowsy. I smiled and rubbed my thumb across her cheek. "I promise." She smiled and went back to sleep, still slightly holding on to my arm. I moved her oh so slowly and quietly left her room.
I walked over to Mirajane's office to borrow some money for food. When I knocked on her door and waited. I could giggling on the other side of the room. I knocked again, and this time I heard moaning. Oh God..., I thought to myself. I knocked one more time, and the door was slightly open, and I could see Mira wearing nothing but her buttoned down lap coat. Her hair was all over the place, and her lip stick was slightly smeared. "Hey darling, what do you need?" She asked.
"Um...Just some money for food," I said awkwardly, trying not to look at her.
"Oh sure, hold on one second," she said, heading back into her room. I could hear her giggling in the room, laughig words like, "Stop!" and "He's right outside!". And then, I heard the sound of a low chuckle; a chuckle that I could identify in a heartbeat. She came back outside with some cash and said, "Here you go."
I took the money and gave her a weird look. "Really? The Neurosurgeon? Here?"
She bit her lip and tried to guilt-trip me. "What can I say, they know how to get into your minds?"
"Well, then I'll let you continue," I said, leaving her to her fun.
I ordered some hot wings and jalepeño fries and sat in the cafeteria across from a man who was staring at his double bacon cheese burger. As I took a bite out of my second out of twenty hot wings, I saw that the man still continued to look down at his burger. He looked like an alright guy: short gelled brown hair, wore a flannel blue shirt and jeans, and looked pretty young, around twenty two, twenty three. His eyes were baggy and filled with worry. I swalled my jalepeño fries and asked, "You alright there, bud?"
He flinched and looked at me. He laughed awkwardly and said, "Oh, nothing much. Just waiting for my wife to survive her surgery and here I am, eating a burger...Dear Lord," he said frantically.
"Wife? You look pretty young to be married," I mentioned.
"Yeah, that's what everyone says. Truth is, we've been married for almost five years."
I nearly chocken on my fries. "Five years?! How old are you?"
"Twenty-four. Yeah, yeah, yeah we got married too young."
"No judgeing man, but you got married when you were nineteen?"
"Yeah, but we made it work. At least, up until now."
"What's wrong with your wife, if you don't mind me asking." He smiled and wiped his face and sighed. "Lymphoma. Non-hodgkin's. Been battling for a few years now, and the doctor's think they've finally found away to kill most of it...But the success rates aren't that good. She's been in surgery for around six hours now...and I just don't know what I'd do without her."
I felt a little empathy for the man. I kind of-sort of- knew what position he was in. I decided to tell him my story. "I have a girl here too. She's battling for her life at the moment; she has a tumour lodged on her heart, and just recently found more cancer in her ovaries."
"Sorry to hear about," he sighed. "Cancer is one son of a bitch."
I chuckled at his dark humour. "Yeah. And the thing is, she doesn't deserve any of this. She's been in a coma for almost six years, and even after that, she's so caring, amazing, beautiful, and so kind-"
"We get it man, you're in love," he laughed. "I know what it's like, especially when I was your age. What are you, seventeen, eighteen?"
"Eighteen."
"Well, that's how I felt with my Teiyah. When I first met her my freshman year of high school...Something just shot up inside of me that just told me that she was the one."
"Wow...If you don't mind me asking, how did you know she was the one?"
"Well...I just knew through the fact that she loved me, and I loved her, despite what everyone said. After we eloped, we didn't care what the others thought of our marriage. As long as we were in each other's arms, we were happy." Suddenly, the doors around the emergency room opened, and a doctor with blood on his gloves. "Daniel O'Malley?"
The man's eyes widened, which meant it was probably news about his wife. "Oh God, I'm not ready to hear this. I can't do this alone."
"Hey man, you got this. Want me to tag along?"
"But I don't even know your name."
"The name's Natsu. Natsu Dragneel."
"Well, Natsu, thanks...I could really use the support." We both walked towards the doctor, who's face was unreadable due to the face mask. Daniel walked closer to the doctor and asked, "Hey, Doc...How is she? Please tell me my Teiyah is okay."
The doctor sighed and removed the face mask and sighed, looking at Daniel straight into the eyes. "Mr.O'Malley, your wife is one hell of a fighter. It took us longer than we expected with some minor difficulties, but we were able to get rid of the lymphoma in your wife's body."
Daniel laughed with joy, and a tear streamed down his blue eye. "A-Are you serious? S-S-She's going to be alright?"
"Yes, Mr. O'Malley."
"Oh God...Thank you, God," he whispered, falling to the ground and crying his eyes out. I kneeled down and wrapped one arm around his body. His body continued to tremble as he kept on praising the man upstairs. I assisted him in getting up as he wiped his eyes. "C-Can I see her?"
"She's resting, but yes you may," the doctor said with a gentle smile. Daniel practically hopped up in the air and moved forward, but looked at me one more time. "Natsu's your name, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, don't stay a stranger, Natsu! Thanks for everything!" And with that, he ran through the emergency room. I smiled at his enthusiasm and walked back to my table and my unfinished hot wings. The same thing kept on running through my mind as I ate my final fry and wing. Eloping...marriage...
I snuck back into Lucy's dark hospital room. I slowly climbed into bed next to Lucy and immediately felt her head on my chest. "That took a while," she yawned.
"Did I wake you?"
"Nah, a woman just gave birth in the room next to mine, so you're all good." I grabbed her hand and held it tightly close to my chest. "Hey Luce," I whispered, staring at the ceiling.
"Mm," she groaned.
"What are your thoughts on marriage?"
"Why are you asking this now?"
"Just curious." There was a long pause. For a minute, I thought I blew it, but she finally answered. "I don't really have an opinion on marriage. If both people love each other, they should marry, despite age, gender, religious affiliation, et cetra."
"Oh...Okay," I muttered.
"Natsu, you sound tired. Let's just go to bed," she whispered, and I could slowly feel her falling into a deep sleep on my chest. I, however, was not tired, and continued to stare at the white ceiling.I thought about what Daniel had told me and what Lucy had told me. As those two began merging into my head, my eyes began to go into a deep sleep.