Excuse any grammatical errors or mistakes.
(AN: I am not an expert on depression, so if you feel anything is inaccurate, don't attack me. 🤗 )
Nadia
I was extremely embarrassed about my little episode this morning and that's why I snuck out of Dani's room when I woke up. It was the afternoon now and I wanted to be alone. Just as Jayla predicted, I had a massive headache.
This wasn't anything new, but it hadn't happened in so long. Back when Jayla and I were together, I'd have days where I'd wake up feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness. Other days it was anger. Sometimes, it was nothing; I felt disconnected from reality.
I didn't know if that was a normal part of depression or if it was something else wrong with me.
I think the whole issue with Dani was the cause of what happened this morning, but when I think about that, it doesn't make me sad anymore. I'm over that, so it has to be something else. Unfortunately, I didn't know what that something else was. I never did. Like Jayla said, it was just one of those days.
I was a little angry with myself about it happening. I felt like an ex drug addict that slipped back into those toxic old habits. I was doing so well and I'm back at square one. If this is depression related, I understand that depression isn't something that goes away. You have good days and bad days. You might even have good months, like I've been having.
I felt so strong because I hadn't been taking my meds and I was doing fine, but if I'm turning back into the old Nadia, I might need to start taking them again. I don't want to scare Dani away like I scared Jayla away. My meds usually led to my suicidal thoughts. I don't want to be that sad girl again. Not that I ever really stopped being her. I hate what my meds turn me into. I'm either a robot or I have those stupid thoughts.
I was sitting on the toilet lid with my pill bottle in my hands. I hadn't taken one since high school. I removed the lid from the pill bottle, but I couldn't bring myself to take a pill out. I was supposed to take one everyday, but I'd been flushing them instead. I've gone this long without them and today was just a minor set back. I was already sad from the stuff that happened yesterday, so maybe it's normal that I woke up sad. I'm not really sad now and I'm usually sad all day when I have these episodes.
I closed the pill bottle and returned it to it's spot behind the mirror in the bathroom. I didn't need them. I'm fine. I just overreacted about everything. I'm fine.
"Nadia?" Chastity spoke through the bathroom door. "Are you okay? You've been in there for a while."
She sounded concerned. She didn't have a reason to be. I'm fine.
"I'm fine. Did you need to use the bathroom or something?"
"No, I just wanted to make sure you were okay because usually when you lock yourself in the bathroom it's because something's wrong."
I really appreciated Chastity for being so caring. She's a good friend to me despite my issues.
"I'm okay." I said opening the bathroom door and existing the bathroom.
"You look like you've been crying." Chastity gave me a dubious look.
"I woke up feeling sad for reasons I can't really explain, but I promise you, I'm fine now."
She still looked skeptical, but she seemed to let it go.
"Okay, well if you're really okay, I need you to look at this and tell me what you think."
I followed Chastity over to her bed and there was an outfit laid out, but it looked like something a boy or an androgynous girl would wear.
"Is this a gift for Gio or something?" I asked even though the clothes clearly weren't his size.
"No, believe it or not, it's a gift from him." Chastity said and I didn't even know how to respond. Why the heck was Gio buying Chastity boy's clothes? Not that all clothes should be gender specific, but you know. This doesn't make sense.
"Um, why...I don't even know what to say." I admitted.
"I didn't either. He's been acting different since we got back from the break." Chastity informed me. "The first thing he got me was some boxer briefs and I wasn't concerned about that because I asked him where he got his from because boy's underwear is just more comfortable to me."
I sat on my bed because I knew that Chastity had a lot to tell me. She sat down on her bed and continued talking.
"A week goes by and he buys me a pair of jeans that clearly aren't meant for women and I don't really fret about that because I actually like the jeans. They look cool and they're comfortable." Chastity pats the jeans on her bed and shrugs. "More time passes and before I know it, he's gotten me a whole outfit. Not a single article of clothing could have come from anyone's women's section unless he went to a store specifically for androgynous people."
I furrowed my eyebrows at Chastity's usage of the word. I didn't think she knew about androgyny. Not to be stereotypical, but I hadn't met a straight person that understood anything about it. Even though straight people can be androgynous as well. They'd probably still freak out about it. Let's face it, we live in a heteronormative society and girls dressing like boys and vice versa isn't something people take in easily.
"Do you like the clothes?" I asked and Chastity smiled a little.
"I love them, but I can't wear them." She sighed.
"Why not? If you like them, wear them."
"I don't want to embarrass Gio. I don't want to make him look bad."
I understood where she was coming from, but Gio clearly had no issue with it.
"I get what you're saying, but he bought them for you. Surely he'd want you to wear them."
"I don't think that's it at all." Chastity disagreed. "I think Gio thinks I'm gay and this is his way of telling me it's okay. The only thing is, I'm not gay. Yeah, I have a stupid crush on Jayla, but I'm in love with Gio. I'm attracted to him. I like having sex with him. I-"
I interrupted her, "Um, you could have kept that part to yourself, but carry on."
Chastity gave me a fake smile before continuing.
"I like boys and boys clothes and I have a crush on a girl. I don't know what to call myself, but I know I don't want to stop being called Gio's girlfriend."
"That's the thing with you heteros," I said jokingly. "You always want to slap a label on people. How about you call yourself Chastity because that's who you are. Your preferences and the way you dress don't define you. Your crush on Jayla doesn't determine your sexuality. You know how many straight girls have crushes on Rihanna or Beyoncé? You know how many of them would take a ride on the gay train just for a night with them? A lot. And none of them are changing their label. They still see themselves as straight."
"I'd take a ride on the gay train for Rihanna." Chastity chuckled. "And Beyoncé and Normani and Keke Palmer and Kehlani and-"
"Okay okay, calm your gay ass down." I joked. "But on a serious note, Chastity, you don't have to be one or the other. It's possible to like both men and women. Despite biphobic asshole's beliefs, bi sexual people exist and I'm not going to call you anything you don't want to be called, but if you want a label that bad, bisexual might just be yours."
"But I've never even been with a girl before."
"So what? Virgin straight people don't deny their straightness just because they haven't been with the opposite sex, yet. It's not a you-don't-know-until-you-try type of thing unless you make it one. You like what you like."
I sort of felt bad for Chastity because she was questioning her sexuality at the worst time possible. She was in a relationship, so if she wanted to explore the side of herself that possibly likes girls, she'd have to get Gio's permission, break up with him, or cheat. Hopefully she wouldn't do that last one. Cheaters suck.
"I still want to know for sure though. I just don't want to lose Gio by trying to explore myself. I just think it's necessary for me to try because this will always be in the back of my mind and the last thing I want is to let my curiosity drive me to doing something stupid."
"You need to talk to Gio. Tell him how you're feeling. He obviously knows something's up if he's buying you boy's clothes. He's trying to let you know that he's open to whatever it is you might need to tell him."
Gio was a great guy. I don't think there are many, if any, guys out there that would buy their girlfriend boy's clothes. They'd probably be freaked out by her wanting to dress that way and be an asshole about it. He's so sweet and understanding.
"I don't want to scare him away. If I tell him the things I've been thinking he might-"
"He might...listen to you and try to understand where you're coming from." I finished Chastity's sentence with a prediction of my own. "He's a rare kind of guy, Chas. Just talk to him and if he's an asshole about it, I will personally kick him in his balls for you."
"Don't go killing my future kids now." Chastity said, making me laugh.
"Well then, my bad. I'll smack him upside the head."
"That's better." She settled. "Thanks for talking to me about this. It's been killing me and I don't really trust any of my other friends with this information."
"No problem, girl. You can talk to me about anything."
We never actually said it, but Chastity was my best friend at this school. Of course there was Dani, but our friendship was always a little bit more than that. We just didn't see it. Chastity and I got along from the beginning as well. I talked to her about things I wouldn't even talk with Dani about. She's seen me at my worst and she never judged me.
"And the same goes for you." She added and I could sense something deeper in her words.
"I promise I'm fine."
"Okay. Just know, if you're ever not fine, I'm here."
"I know, Chas."
Jayla
"We've been riding around for almost an hour. Are you sure you know where you're going?"
Aniya wanted us to spend the day together, not that we haven't been doing that anyway, but she wanted to go somewhere off campus. I didn't mind, but she seemed to be lost. Of course she wouldn't admit it.
"Yes, I'm sure I know where I'm going. I'm just taking the long way."
I knew Aniya was lying. Who opts on taking the long way? We were definitely lost.
"Niya, why don't you just tell me where we're going and I can plug it into Google Maps." I offered.
"Or I could not tell you and you can just be quiet. We're almost there, I swear."
She was being so stubborn. Her pride was literally getting us nowhere: in the middle of nowhere that is.
"I'm not going to be quiet because we're lost and I don't take too kindly to being lost. I've been here longer, so if you'd tell me where you're trying to get, I can-"
"I'm kidnapping you. I'm trying to cross the Mexican border. There, now can you just hush?"
I knew I shouldn't have gotten in the car with this idiot.
"Seriously Aniya, just tell me where you intended on going. I'm starving and with the rate we're going I won't get to eat any time soon." I complained.
"Fine, if you're really that hungry, we can pull over and you can eat-"
"If you're about to say something sexual, just stop there." I cut her off.
"And I'm stopping here." She chuckled. "The truth is, I never really had anything planned. I figured we'd go for a drive and find a place without trying. It'd be all cliche and romantic."
"No, getting lost is never romantic. That's usually how horror movies start and the couples are always the first to go." I said getting annoyed. We were lost and we didn't have a solid destination.
"So we're a couple now?" Aniya asked smirking at me.
"No, I was just....that isn't even the point right now! We're lost, you idiot! What if we die? I didn't even hug Dani before we left. I can't leave her like this. She'll never get over it."
Aniya began to laugh at me and I glared at her.
"This isn't funny. I need to figure out where we are." I said trying to access google maps on my phone, but in scary movie fashion, I had no signal.
"Let me guess, no signal?" Aniya caught on and I wanted to smack her, but then we'd wreck and die and Dani would miss me. I needed to refrain from getting myself killed for the sake of my best friend.
"Let me see your phone." I demanded.
"I didn't bring it. I wanted to focus solely on you.
"Please tell me you're kidding?" I said trying to control my temper. "Why the hell would you leave your phone? It's the 21st century. We can't function without phones not to mention call for help if we need it, which we do!"
"We don't need help." Aniya spoke nonchalantly.
"We haven't seen any buildings for miles and there aren't even any road signs. If we make it back alive, I'm gonna kill you." I threatened.
"Wait, wouldn't us making it back alive be a good thing?"
"Yes, because then I could kill you!"
Aniya seemed to find this whole situation to be quite hilarious.
"Look there's something up ahead." Aniya pointed out, but I wasn't impressed. It looked old and abandoned: very horror movie appropriate.
"And I would appreciate it if you drive past it."
"Why, you scared?" She asked slowing up when we approached the clearly abandoned place. There was a dirt road leading to a run down looking white brick house. Well, it could have been a house. "Look, there's a car. We can ask for directions."
"Or we can turn around." I said feeling uneasy. "This is white people shit."
"Well, you're half white."
"I check African American on everything I sign. I'm black and black people don't do shit like this, so as the owner of this car, I am demanding you to turn the fuck around, Aniya!"
To my utter dismay, Aniya ignored me and pulled up near the "house". There was indeed a white car parked beside it but it looked like it hadn't been driven in decades. She was gonna get us killed.
We were in the middle of nowhere. The only thing around was dirt, dead grass, and some sad excuses for trees. The dirt road went farther up, but there was a gate blocking off the remaining path.
"That sign up ahead says no trespassing." I pointed out, but Aniya didn't seem to care.
"I'm not passing the gate, I'm gonna go see if anyone's home."
Aniya unbuckled her seat belt and reached for the door, but I stopped her.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? You have no idea where we are. You can't just go on someone's property especially when it looks as creepy as that." I said pointing to the weird building house thing.
"If you're that scared, just stay in the car."
"Niya, this is so stupid. Let's just turn around. Haven't you ever seen a scary movie? This is the shit that starts leading to death. If there's anyone in that house, we might as well start planning our funerals. Of course they'd be closed casket because the creepy old man is gonna feed us to is deformed incest kids."
Aniya just laughed at me like I wasn't spittin' straight facts right now. This bitch is crazy. She got out of the car and like an idiot, I got out too.
"Oh look who decided to stop being a pussy." Aniya joked when I got out of the car.
"Call me what you want, but this is stupid."
Aniya came towards me and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together.
"If anyone tries to murder us, I'm gonna protect you. So just chill."
I didn't feel safe at all. Aniya's skinny ass was gonna get the shit beat out of her and I would be next. We're gonna die.
The closer we got to the house, the more uneasy I felt. Something wasn't right about this place.
"Niya-"
"Shhh...did you hear that?"
Aniya started looking around like she actually heard something and I was scared as shit. I can't believe I'm gonna die doing white people shit.
"I didn't hear anything." I whispered.
"Yeah me either, I just wanted to fuck with you." Aniya said laughing at her stupidity.
"I hate you."
We got to the house, but the door was boarded up. I was so relieved because that was a reason to turn around.
"Well, looks like no one is home. We should just turn around." I said trying to pull Aniya back towards the car, but she wouldn't let me.
"Hang on." She said with a smirk. "Let's explore."
I looked at her like she was stupid.
"Hell no! Do I look like Dora to you? Let's go, Aniya." I said yanking the girl's arm and basically dragging her to the car.
"You're such a dub."
I ignored Aniya's insult and headed towards the car. I tried the door, but mine was locked.
"Unlock the door, asshole." I said wishing Aniya would stop playing so much.
"I never locked the door. How would I without the keys?" She asked and I glared at her.
"What do you mean you don't have the keys? Try your door."
Aniya tried her door, but it was locked as well.
I looked through the window and the keys mocked me from the ignition. No no no no no.
"Why would you leave the keys in the car?!" I yelled angrily.
"I thought you weren't gonna get out."
"This is bad. This is really bad." I said beginning to pace. I tried the back door on my side, but it was locked. Aniya tried hers too and just like the other ones: locked.
"My fucking phone is in there!" I yelled out of frustration.
"Would you calm down?" Aniya asked and I let out a humorless laugh.
"Calm down?" I said walking over to Aniya's side and getting in her face. "Calm down?! You want me to calm down when we're in the middle of nowhere with no escape and no way to call for help?! I will not calm down!"
"You're really cute when you're scared for your life."
"How can you joke right now?!"
I couldn't believe how nonchalant Aniya was being about this. There were no lights around, so once night time hit, we were going to be screwed. This situation was a really bad one. No one was gonna find us. Even before we got to the dirt road, there was nothing but miles and miles of road. No signs. No gas stations. Not even other cars.
"I'm not joking. You really do look cute."
"Aniya, please stop playing with me right now. I'm trying not to hurt you because the last thing I want is to be anymore alone than we already are. What are we gonna do?" I asked to myself more than her because her idea is what got us into this mess.
"I say we past the gates."
I wanted to smack Aniya. I really wanted to.
"Why the fuck would we go farther into a place we're unfamiliar with? Can you not read? Every sign on that gate means to KEEP OUT. It's like you want to die."
This whole situation had me rethinking my future with Aniya, if we even lived to see it.
"We're not gonna die."
I stood there in shock as Aniya made her way towards the big ass gate with all those signs that clearly meant nothing to idiots.
I didn't want to be alone, so I followed her.
"So what are you gonna do? Climb it?" I asked and Aniya chuckled.
"Of course not, I'm gonna go through there like the last person did." She said pointing to a hole in the gate that was definitely big enough to fit through.
"Just because someone got in doesn't mean they got out. Who's to say the last person wasn't murdered?" I was trying to be reasonable.
"No caution tape, no murder." Aniya shrugged before slipping through the hole in the gate. She's really an idiot. I like an idiot.
I slipped through the hole as well and followed Aniya up the dirt road even though I didn't want to.
"Damn, this is a workout." Aniya said once we'd gotten pretty far up the road.
"No, you need to workout." I said not even feeling a little bit tired from the walk.
"Oh shit, look."
"What?" I asked grabbing on to Aniya's arm.
"There are steps up ahead, I wonder what they lead to."
"Probably our death, but let's check it out anyway." I spoke sarcastically.
When we reached the steps I immediately wanted to turn around. There were too many of them and it was no telling what they led to. We already weren't supposed to be here.
"Well at least they go down." Aniya said like that made things better.
"You know what else goes down? Hell, and I'm not ready to go there yet, so can we please turn around?" I said trying to pull Aniya away from the mystery steps, but she was too curious.
"Come on, Jay. We might as well see what's down there. It's either this or standing by the car."
"I'd like standing by the car very much. Let's go do it." I said trying to pull her again, but I failed.
"Fine, you go, I'm seeing what's down there."
Aniya let my hand go and started heading down the steps. I hesitated, but ended up following her.
The steps seemed to go on forever, then we got to a spot that went off in two directions. The left set of steps ended in a path of dead grass, but the right side went further down.
"Come on, it looks like we're closer to the end." Aniya said speeding up and I followed her like an idiot.
When we finally reached the end of the steps we came upon a building that looked to be a mixture of wood, concrete and brick. It was covered in graffiti and despite it's colorful appearance, it still creeped me out.
"Ha, so it is real." Aniya said approaching the building and letting her fingers run across the graffiti.
"Excuse me?" I said grabbing her by the shoulder and making her face me. "What do you mean 'so it is real?'"
Did she know where we were the entire time?
"Okay, don't be mad, but we were never lost."
My mouth dropped open in disbelief.
"What! You knew where we were the entire time?!" I asked both angry and relieved, but only slightly because we were still locked out of the car.
"Where the heck are we?"
"The Murphy Ranch."
I furrowed my eyebrows at the unfamiliar name.
"Long story short, this was like a camp or something for Nazis' just in case Germany won the war. They obviously didn't so it's just an abandoned and extremely haunted ranch. There's supposed to be a farm further ahead."
"Extremely haunted?" I asked automatically looking around to make sure we were alone.
"Cool right?"
Aniya had me fucked up. What's cool about fucking with ghost and shit? Again, this is white people shit. No offense to white people, but I have never seen a paranormal show where black people go around fucking with spirits and shit. That's not what we do and when we do, we die.
"I am not playing, take me back to my fucking car, I will bust my window out with a brick or something. After we get back to campus, don't talk to me anymore because you're on some weird ass shit." I said not caring if I was hurting Aniya's feelings or not. She was trying to get me killed! "I didn't even see you as the type to do shit like this. I should tell Mrs. Fuller and see what she thinks about this."
"You're overreacting. Nothing has happened. We're both fine."
"Physically maybe, but I'm literally shaking right now with both fear and anger. I don't like shit like this. If you do, cool, but when you get me into it without my permission, that's an issue."
Aniya looked like she felt bad and she should have. This was not okay. What if I was prone to panic attacks or something?
"I'm sorry. Let's just go back."
Aniya tried to grab my hand, but I pulled it away.
"Don't touch me." I said putting my hands in my pockets.
"You said you were scared, I was just-"
"You got us in to this. You don't make me feel safe."
Aniya looked hurt by my words, but I was a little too mad to care at the moment. I just wanted to get back to my car. I thought she was going to take me out on a surprise date or something, but the only thing she wanted to flirt with was death.
"Okay."
The walk back to my car was silent. That was good considering where we were. Nothing creepy had happened and I was happy about that. What I wasn't happy about was the police officer examining my car.
"Shit." Aniya said under her breath when she saw him too. He was speaking into his walkie talkie and didn't seem to notice us on the other side of the gate.
"We're gonna go to jail." I said beginning to panic.
"No we aren't. We'll most likely get a warning if anything. Just let me handle it."
"Let you handle it? Are you forgetting who got us here?" I whisper yelled.
"Just calm down, Jayla. Damn." Aniya said finally sounding fed up with me.
She slipped back through the gate, catching the attention of the police officer. I slipped through right behind her.
"Can you two not read?" The officer spoke looking bored.
Neither of us said anything.
"So you can't hear or read?"
"We can hear and read, we can't however get into our car. We were just trying to see if we could find someone to help us." Aniya finally spoke and the officer looked skeptical.
"What were you doing out here anyway? Every time I catch kids out here it's because they're trying to see The Murphy Ranch. You sure that's not what you were doing?"
I stayed quiet and prayed that Aniya could talk us out of this. I didn't do well with cops. Growing up I was taught not to talk to them. You know with me carrying drugs for my uncle and all.
"I was trying to take my girlfriend on a date, but I got lost. I'm from New York and I just moved here to go to school. This was the first place we'd seen after miles and miles of nothing, but road, so I stopped here to get directions, but we locked the keys in the car. I was hoping we'd run into someone that could help us. We got desperate and went through the hole in the fence."
I didn't even trip about Aniya calling me her girlfriend because the officer seemed to buy it.
"Why didn't you try calling anyone?" The officer continued questioning Aniya.
"The signal here sucks, and to make matters worse, we locked our phones in the car."
Our phones? She told me she left hers. Don't trip, Jayla. You can kill her when you get back to campus.
"Well, aren't you two just unlucky today?" The officer chuckled.
"Yes sir, but thank God you showed up. Any chance you could get us in our car?" Aniya asked and the officer smiled.
"Sure thing, kid."
The officer walked back towards his car and I let out a breath of relief.
Luckily my car wasn't a newer model, so the officer was able to get in.
His name was Officer Higgins by the way. Officer Higgins told Aniya and me not to come out here ever again and I was okay with that because I never planned on it. Aniya and I didn't speak the whole way back to campus, not even when she stopped by McDonald's so I could finally eat.
I wasn't really that mad after I ate, but I still didn't say anything.
When we did get on campus, she gave me my keys back and we went our separate ways: her going to her room and me going to mine.
Right when I got in my room Dani started asking me questions, but not about Aniya and me.
"I woke up and Nadia was gone. I didn't know if I should see if she's okay or just give her space."
Instead of answering Dani's question, I went over to her bed and hugged her. Maybe I was being dramatic, but I really thought I was going to die today.
"What was that for?" Dani asked hugging me back.
"Just because I love you." I said letting her go and sitting on my bed.
"I love you too. Did you and Aniya go on a date?" She asked and I scoffed.
"I wish. Your sister took me to some abandoned and haunted Nazi camp or something like that. I don't even know, but I don't want to talk about it. I get chills just thinking about it." I said shivering.
"Oh yeah, Niya is into weird shit like that. She'll get on YouTube and watch videos of people doing stupid shit like going to haunted places and trying out challenges to summon demons. She doesn't think any of it is real, but she does think it's funny when the people freak themselves out. I didn't think she'd actually try it though."
"Why didn't you tell me that? Why do I keep finding out things about her the hard way?" I groaned and Dani chuckled.
"My sister is weird, but not too weird."
"How is that not too weird? She drove around for hours pretending to be lost instead of just telling me where she was taking me. She didn't even ask me if I wanted to go."
Dani was laughing at the situation, but I didn't find it funny. I was genuinely freaked out by not only that place, but Aniya too.
"It's not funny." I said throwing one of my pillows at Dani. "I don't like stuff like that."
"Don't be too freaked out. She doesn't usually do stuff like that. Maybe the place she wanted to check out just happened to be here and she took the opportunity."
"That's perfectly fine, but she didn't have to drag me with her. I would have gladly let her take my car." I was annoyed with Dani for not understanding my frustration with her sister.
"So what? You don't like Niya anymore?" Dani asked and I sighed.
"Of course I still like her. She just freaked me out."
I was gonna get over this, but at the moment I needed time. I was definitely going to have trouble sleeping tonight. I guess I'm a pussy for being scared, but oh well.
"You wanna sleep with me tonight?" Dani chuckled and I nodded my head.
"Yes. And could you shower with me? Like, I'm scared as fuck, man." I said laughing at myself.
"I got you, bro." Dani assured. "But aside from that, what do I do about Nadia?"
"Just let her have her space. She gets embarrassed sometimes and wants to be alone after having an episode."
"For how long?" Dani asked looking worried.
"Her depression was at its worst when we were together, so she'd shut me out for weeks. The longest was a month, but she's not going to do that this time. She's so much better than she was. She'll most likely come back around tomorrow. Let her come to you though."
"Okay. I'll give her space. I just don't understand what happened."
"Like I said before. It was just one of those days. Sometimes her episodes would last for weeks. She'd just be sad. She had trouble sleeping, keeping food down or even having an appetite in general." I explained. "She'd always be in pain. She'd mainly complain about her stomach hurting, but other times it was migraines, sometimes both. That's just a part of depression. She gets better, but it never goes away, so you just have to be prepared for it to get bad sometimes."
"When it gets bad, what do I do? She won't take the medication she has."
"She hates those pills because she says they make her feel numb, but she hates that they sometimes make her suicidal even more. Don't try to force her to take them if it ever gets bad. Just call Malaya and let her handle it." I said remembering how bad things would go when I tried making Nadia take her antidepressants in the past.
"What if Malaya isn't around?" Dani asked and I chuckled at what was about to come out of my mouth, but it always worked for me.
"Sex." I stated. "Let her take control. I don't know how it worked, but it took her mind off of things and made her feel in control of something since she couldn't really control her emotions. It's not good medicine, but that's all I could do sometimes."
Dani had a weird look on her face and I was pretty sure it had something to do with the thought of Nadia and me having sex.
"Okay, I don't want to talk about this anymore because all I can picture is you and Nadia...yeah I'm not even gonna say it. Thanks for the advice."
If Dani was okay with dropping the subject, I was too. I didn't like thinking about my past with Nadia. At least not the bad parts. I still felt guilty for running away.
"So did you and Aniya get into a fight after? I really want to know how this played out."
Dani was a little bit too amused with my near death experience. Does she not realize that me dying meant no more hoemance?
"I yelled at her...a lot." I said feeling guilty for it now. "I was pissed off and scared. And she lied to me all day long. First about us being lost and then about forgetting her phone."
"I'm not choosing sides, but please keep in mind that Aniya has never had a girlfriend in her life. Romance is a foreign language to her and there is a huge chance that she didn't think about how creepy that place was. She found something she thought was cool and wanted to share it with you."
I understood what Dani was saying, but Aniya could have told me instead of surprising me with something that creepy.
"I just wish she would have told me instead of tricking me."
"I get that, but don't let this be the deal breaker. Aniya really likes you."
I really needed to go talk to Aniya. I didn't want to sleep on this. I didn't want her thinking that things were over between us because that wasn't the case. I was just mad.
"I should go talk to her, shouldn't I?"
"That's up to you."
I really wanted to talk to Aniya. I was an asshole to her now that I look back on it with a clear head. I feel like I had every right to be upset, but I could have expressed myself differently. She wasn't rude to me at all, not even when I yelled at her.
"I'm gonna go talk to her."
"Okay, so are you coming back, or do you plan on spending the night with her?"
Dani didn't say anything about how she was feeling at the moment. She was mostly worried about Nadia, but I still didn't want to leave her alone.
"I'm gonna come back after we talk."
-
I didn't tell Aniya I was coming, I just showed up at her door. Unfortunately, she wasn't the one that answered. Mya and I didn't have beef or anything, but we didn't speak. We didn't have a reason to.
"Uh, it's for you." Mya said stepping aside and revealing Aniya.
Mya went back to her side and I came in the room, letting the door close behind me.
Aniya looked surprised to see me and I assumed that's why she didn't say anything.
"Hey." I broke the silence.
"I'm confused." Aniya said looking exactly that. "I thought you didn't want me to speak to you anymore."
"I said some stuff I didn't mean today. I was just mad at you for lying to me and dragging me to that creepy ass place. I don't care if you're into stuff like that. It doesn't change how I feel about you, but you can't just put me in a situation like that. Anything could have happened to us." I explained.
"I was watching a countdown on the most haunted places in California and it popped up. I wanted to see if it was real or if someone was just bullshitting. We were so close to it and I wanted to go. I should have told you, but I honestly didn't think you'd be so creeped out. I'm sorry for dragging you into my weirdness. I have a bad habit of getting lost on the weird side of YouTube."
I wasn't bothered by Aniya's "weirdness". It wasn't weird anyway. Everyone has that thing that they're interested in that other people might not understand. That doesn't make them weird: different maybe, but not weird.
"You're not weird." I said sitting beside Aniya. "It's kinda cool that you like that stuff because you don't seem like you would. You're like an undercover nerd."
"I'm not really into chasing ghosts or anything like that. I just like watching videos of other people doing it. This was just an opportunity I didn't think I'd get. I wanted to share it with you, but I didn't consider how you'd feel about it. I was being selfish."
I wasn't even mad about the situation anymore. I just wanted to learn more about this newly discovered part of Aniya.
"So, tell me more about this obsession you have with the weird side of YouTube." I placed my chin on my fist dramatically.
"Dead ass, or are you trying to make fun of me?"
"I'm serious. Tell me about it. If you would have just done that in the first place, things would have played out a lot different than they did today. I want to know everything about you. Even the "weird" stuff." I said, using air quotes.
"Okay, but first I need to ask you something."
Aniya looked serious, so I just nodded my head so she would ask me whatever it was she needed to ask me.
"Can I take you on an actual date?" She asked looking a little nervous. "I must warn you that I've never taken anyone on a date, nor have I been on one, so don't expect anything too great. I don't want to disappoint you."
"As long as no ghosts are involved, I won't be disappointed."
Aniya chuckled before putting her hands up in surrender.
"I promise, no ghosts will be involved."
"That's all I ask."
I stayed in Aniya's room for a few more hours and she told me about her YouTube obsession. Well it wasn't really an obsession, it was just something she did when she was bored, but she'd get so caught up in it that she'd do it all day.
She liked watching videos about things like the top 15 scariest things caught on camera or top 20 scariest 911 calls. Just things that got you scared, but interested at the same time. She liked watching videos uploaded by a YouTuber named Mr. Nightmare and she like watching a YouTuber named Markiplier play the scariest games.
She liked other YouTubers that did creepy stuff, but I won't go any further in detail. You get the point.
She also admitted that she'd get creeped out after watching too many of those videos and have to stop in order to not have trouble sleeping. I didn't understand why she'd do it when she knew it would scare her that much, but I wasn't judging.
"So," Aniya asked after she'd finished telling me about herself. "Is there anything weird that you like?"
"Yeah," I nodded my head. "You."
Aniya laughed before saying, "That's good to know because I honestly thought I ruined things between us. You really had me in my bag. Not gonna lie."
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion at "in my bag".
"In my feelings." Aniya said, realizing that I was lost.
"Oh." I nodded my head. "I'm sorry for overreacting and yelling at you. I was upset, but I like you too much to let something like this mess up what we have going."
"It really didn't seem like it." She frowned. "And then when you wouldn't even let me hold your hand. That shit hurt, man."
Earlier, I wasn't really worried about whether or not I was hurting Aniya's feelings, but now I felt bad about it.
"You can hold my hand when ever you want." I said lacing our fingers together.
"You also said that I didn't make you feel safe. I know you don't actually need protection from anything, but I would never let anything happen to you. Don't take this the wrong way, but I've grown to love you over this short amount of time."
"Even if we didn't have whatever it is we have going on, I would still see you as a friend...as more than that really. You're like family...you are family and I feel like I have to protect you from whatever might come your way. The same way I want to protect Dani and my mom. I don't play about my family. If anything would have happened today, I would have kept you safe."
Aniya was looking at me in a way she'd never looked at me before. I could tell that she meant what she was saying and that made me feel safe. I felt secure in her feelings for me. I know she cares deeply about me and the feeling is mutual. I didn't take her telling me she'd grown to love me the wrong way because I knew how she meant it. This was the love you had for a close friend of family member. It was the same love I felt for her.
"I've grown to love you too." I admitted. "And like I said before, I said things I didn't mean out of anger. You do make me feel safe. I know you'll always protect me if you can. I know you care about me and I care about you too. Can we just forget about today? Well, the bad parts of it?"
"I'm okay with that." Aniya complied.
"Good." I smiled as I began to play with her fingers.
I felt a strong urge to ask a question I knew I wasn't even ready for. I was caught up in this moment and that's why I kept my mouth shut. It wouldn't make sense for me to ask now anyway.
After some seconds of silence, Aniya finally spoke, "Were you um...gonna spend the night with me or..."
"I'm gonna go back to my room."
Aniya nodded her head at my answer, but I could see the disappointment on her face.
"Well, I'm glad we got to talk. I wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing you were mad at me. Not that I'm gonna be able to anyway." She mumbled the last sentence, but I was still able to make it out.
"Why won't you be able to sleep?" I asked and Aniya laughed dryly.
"I think I over did it on the creepy videos. My dumb ass has been hearing shit and seeing shit. I usually stay up until my body can't take it anymore because I always feel like something is standing over me, but I figured since I had you-"
"Just come with me. I don't want Dani to be alone because of the stuff going on with Nadia. Not only that, but I'm still a little creeped out from today, so sleeping alone just wasn't gonna be an option for me tonight. I was gonna sleep with Dani and get her to shower with me." I admitted.
"Yo, speaking of that, have you and Dani ever kissed? Neither of you answered me when I asked."
I gave Aniya a straight face before rolling my eyes.
"No, dummy. Dani and I don't go past cuddling for obvious reasons. She's one hundred percent committed to Nadia and I'm one hundred percent committed to you."
"Good." Aniya smiled. "And I'm not a dummy."
"You are a dummy." I countered. "But you're my dummy." I added before placing a quick kiss on Aniya's lips.
They were just so soft that I had to go back in for more.
Aniya and I were on the verge of a heated make out session, but she pulled away.
"Nooo, why would you do that?" I whined, trying to her pull her face back to mine, but she resisted.
"Mya and I made a deal. I can't do things with you when she's in here and she can't do things with her girl while I'm in here."
"We're just kissing." I frowned.
"Yeah, but this little wall they have between us isn't sound proof and you have a bad habit of moaning when we kiss."
"That's because you have a bad habit of letting your hands roam and you're just a really good kisser."
Aniya smirked at me and started to lean back in, but before our lips could touch, she jumped up.
"I'm gonna get some clothes and my tooth brush."
I glared at her back as she went through her dresser.
She's such an idiot. But she's my idiot.
***********
This chapter was low key stupid, but eh. It's all off the dome. 🤷🏽♀️ I hope you liked it anyway.
Do you believe that Nadia is okay? Should she take her meds?
What do you think is going to happen with Chastity and Gio? Is he trying to get her to "come out", or is he just trying to tell her that he's okay if she likes boy's clothes better than girl's clothes?
Do you think Chastity is bi or is her crush on Jayla nothing to worry about?
Would you have reacted the same way Jayla did had you been in her situation? Did she overreact?
Okay, I'll stop with the questions. Anyway. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you didn't, I sowwy. 😢
Thank you for reading!
Comment Vote Share