I woke up from my nap when I heard a pencil drop. Stupid loud pencils. It took me a few seconds to recognise my surroundings. Right, detention.
My first week of detention was ending today and let me tell you, it sucked. There's a reason why school ends when it ends. It's to prevent people to go crazy.
Staying longer than necessary? Yeah, not healthy. Detention was boring.
I looked around. The teacher was sleeping again. He was snoring a little, the poor guy must've had a tough day. He was leaning his hand against his cheek and it looked like his head could fall on the desk any minute now.
I was already looking forward to that.
There weren't a lot of people in detention. I think there might be a pattern. On Monday a lot of people get detention but on Friday they tend to behave because, you know, weekend.
All of the people sitting here were familiar faces. The same people got detention over and over so we rarely saw a fresh face. When we did see someone new, it was pretty obvious though. They'd look around the room in fear and make homework as if their lives depended on it.
Those were probably the people that accidently forgot their homework or were late a few times too often. The innocent ones.
Then you had the familiar faces. Code and I were now part of them. This past week, Ben had been here every day too. It's like he enjoys being here. Weird.
He always asks everyone why they're in detention. It reminds me of jail when people ask you what your crime is. Not that I've ever been to jail. I'm still a minor.
I mean, I'm a good kid, why would I have ever been to jail?
Just imagine me batting my eyelashes right now.
Gross.
I'd learned that Ben was quite the character. He had very curly brown hair, brown eyes and a lot of freckles on his nose. The freckles were cute, they made him look like a little boy sometimes. I can imagine he hates them.
Probably just as much as Code hates having a cute face.
Men and their egos.
Last Friday Ben had told us he'd earned himself a detention because he had tripped a teacher. He had told us there wasn't any proof but they had just assumed it was him.
Just to be clear, it was him.
A few days ago he had told us that he had to read out loud in class so he took it very literally. He was pretty much screaming. Again the same result; detention.
I found myself looking forward to his reasons. He's an inspirational person really, I mean someone should appreciate his creativity.
Today he got detention because he had accused a teacher of farting. Apparently he stood up to open a window in the middle of class and when the teacher asked him what he was doing he had said that he couldn't bare the smell anymore.
The funny thing is that Tasha was in that class and she had looked a little scared, probably thinking Ben was talking about her. Amazing.
The teacher asked Ben what stench he was talking about and Ben had said in a straight face that he was talking about the teacher's farts and then continued to ask him about what he had eaten last night.
Then he continued by telling a story about the time he ate too much Chipotle and he could understand the teacher's pain but to try to contain it anyway.
Apparently the teacher got really red and embarrassed and because teachers often can't handle the situation the right way, they yell detention. It's like a defensive mechanism.
They probably start to panic when a student is outsmarting them and putting them on the spot. Their brain will go in overdrive. Error error error. Brainfarts everywhere. They feel the seconds ticking away and start sweating profusely.
Then they just yell one random thing. Detention. It's like teachers are programmed to say that word whenever they think they can't win.
Why not admit defeat? Pride. They're supposed to be the adults.
Students shouldn't overpower teachers.
I agree at some level but the least they can do is talk or reason with us first before yelling that dreadful word. I like a good debate.
Teachers do too. Just not when it's not part of the curriculum.
So that was Ben's reason for today. Farts.
There were a couple of other kids at the back but they kept quiet most of the time.
I'd had high hopes for this week but sadly it had been boring as hell. Some people congratulated Code and me for what we did to Tasha. Other people looked at us as if they were afraid we'd do the same to them.
Like we'd randomly spray people with foul things. Come on! You gotta save the good stuff for when it's necessary. I'm not gonna waste it on random people.
Plus, the smell isn't something I particularly enjoy.
On Wednesday I went to dad's to dork out on his law books for my history project. I'd always known why I didn't do homework. It's not fun. At all.
But I guess it was cute seeing my dad with a proud look in his eyes when I'd asked him about his books. The way he'd looked was borderline creepy.
Anyway, moving on.
When I was ready to head back home I'd heard Kate yell. She was sitting on the couch and patting the seat next to her.
So I decided to be a good girl and sit next to her. We hadn't talked lately so I guess it was time to catch up. Kate looked like she had something to say to me.
When I sat down she didn't waste anytime at all.
"I swear, Jill, Tasha still smells! What was that thing anyway? I can't stand being around her anymore! Well, I can't really stand her anyway but you know, now it's worse."
She was almost jumping up and down. Her smile was very big and I chuckled at her giddy expression.
I'd guessed by the look on her face the day of the incident that Kate was secretly enjoying the prank but I'd always thought they were friends. I mean, I get it, Tasha's not a ray of sunshine and Kate is kinda awesome for being a popular.
Don't tell her I said that.
"That's the standard punishment when people call me a slut" I shrugged. It definitely wasn't the standard punishment but I doubt people would ever call me a slut again. At least not to my face. Or written on my locker.
Nobody vandalizes my own locker but me. Have some respect people.
The moment I'd said slut Kate's smile disappeared.
"I'm sorry about that. I knew she was up to something but she wouldn't tell me because we're friends" Kate still hadn't learned that I don't get angry easily.
Despite people thinking I'm an angry person, I'm not. I mean, yes, everyone gets angry sometimes but I don't have anger issues at all.
I wasn't even angry at Tasha for writing on my locker. And I definitely had no reason whatsoever to be angry at Kate. Did she think she was collateral damage just because she associated herself with Tasha? Seems a bit ridiculous to me. She's her own person.
"Don't apologise. You didn't do anything." I touched her shoulder lightly and could feel the tension in her body disappear. Wow, she really cared. Did she actually think I was angry?
"That's just it! I didn't do anything. It's okay to be angry at me" She bit her lower lip. Was she always this hard on herself?
I sighed.
"Kate Kate Kate. Why should I be angry at you for something your friend did? That doesn't seem logical." I looked at her like a parent punishing its kid and she cracked a little smile.
Then she snorted. "Right, friend. She's mad at me because I refuse to shun you or something and you aren't even mad at me for being friends with Miss Graffiti. I think you're the real friend here. Tasha and I haven't been friends for a while" Always the drama with those populars.
I was flattered though that she'd called me the real friend. Even though we don't talk that often I still consider her as one of my closest friends. I didn't think she'd feel the same because she has so many girl friends.
It didn't sit well with me that their friendship was rocky because of me. But then again, it didn't seem like a steady friendship to begin with.
"Thanks" I said uncomfortably. I never really know how to react when people say heartfelt things. Or just nice things in general.
"So what's the deal between you two anyway? Here I was, thinking Tash and you were besties." I was probably the only one she could talk to about this kind of stuff since all of her friends were populars. I guess it's hard not really knowing where the loyalties lie.
Kate rolled her eyes. "It's ridiculous. She thinks I want to be queen bee and she's threatened. Like I have any interest in that."
Yawn. Wow, really. It's like they live in another world.
"She's a walking cliche alright" I shrugged. I should go home anyway. Kate snorted.
"Yeah, so thanks for putting her in her place" She gave me a grin. So there was an evil side to Kate. Interesting.
"Anytime sis, anytime" I winked at her.
Someone poked my cheek with a pencil. It was Code. When I looked around I noticed everyone was leaving. I guess I was thinking a little too long about this week.
"Back to reality?" Code looked amused. Whatever.
Then I realised something. It was weekend! We'd survived our first week of detention, three more to go.
"Weekend!" I squeeled. That caused Code to laugh at me. Yeah, I'm not sure he was laughing with me so I'm just gonna go with at me.
I got up a little too fast and almost kissed the floor. Not on purpose you idiot. When I get up too fast I tend to get dizzy. Luckily Code held my shoulders so I wouldn't fall.
"Just saved your life" Code looked smug. I snorted. Kissing the floor doesn't cause a lot of deaths. I think.
"I would've just fallen on my ass and you would've gotten a good laugh. You didn't really save my life" I shook my head and started walking to my locker that was sporting a nice sloth picture.
"You could've hit your face on the desk causing internal bleeding or a skull fracture. Being the little sissy you are you probably would've died." I slapped him playfully. Rude.
Although those were some big words for Code and that on a Friday evening. Not bad.
"Have you been watching Final Destination?" I raised an eyebrow and he smiled sheepishly. I'll take that as a yes.
"Well, gotta go. See ya Jill" He turned around, not waiting for a reply. I'd probably see him tonight or tomorrow anyway.
"Bye Code" I yelled. The guy walked fast. He was already near the entrance.
"Weekend!" He shouted while he raised his fist in the air. "Yeah!" Some random guy replied and gave Code a fist bump. I chuckled.
Driving home I was thinking about what I should do. I needed to go to my thinking spot but then again it was Friday, maybe I should leave that for during the week.
What? Yes I have a thinking spot, don't judge me.
For that stupid history project we had to do something creative too to keep the audience interested. As if that was possible. That's why I needed to go to my thinking spot.
When I'm in my room for a long time I start to feel claustrophobic so I usually go to the abandoned park a few minutes from home.
I had fond memories of that park. My parents used to take me there a lot before they got divorced. Now the park is abandoned because of some junkies. Apparently some parents found needles in the grass and since then nobody took their children to that park again.
Too bad, it's a nice park. I usually walk past the park to the hill. On top of the hill you can overlook the city and that calms me. I just sit there on the grass to think. Or I climb the tree next to it.
After my ex and I broke up I went there a lot. Sometimes I'd even bring a blanket and pillow to get more comfortable. Nobody knew of my little sanctuary. It was mine.
I hadn't been there in a while which is probably a good sign.
I ended up not going to my thinking spot. It was weekend for crying out loud. The last thing I should be doing was thinking.
A few hours after dinner I decided to go to Code's place. I decided to walk there since I didn't know what we would be ending up doing.
It was nine PM when I walked through Code's front door. As usual, Bus greeted me. If only people would greet you this enthusiastically.
Actually, no. That would be creepy.
I debated on raiding the fridge first before I went upstairs when I heard the TV. I went to the living room, expecting Code but seeing Chase instead.
He was wearing an old shirt and sweatpants. Next to him was a blanket and there was a bowl of popcorn and a can of soda on the table in front of him. Someone was having a movie marathon or something.
He didn't look up so I guess he hadn't noticed me. I felt like I was being a creeper. In a way I kinda was.
"Hi Chase" Chase looked a bit startled. So he hadn't noticed the front door opening and Bus running around and barking? What an observant guy. Maybe he just expected me to head upstairs immediately. I usually did that.
"Jill! Oh. Code isn't here" What? Code isn't home? Weird. Well, I didn't text him to tell him I was coming over or anything but that's just because I didn't think he wouldn't be here.
"Who said I was here for Code?" I smirked. I tried not to laugh but it was hard because Chase looked so shocked.
"W-What?" Smooth Chase, very smooth. I probably should put him out of his misery but it was so much fun to see him squirm.
"Kidding" I laughed when Chase visibly relaxed. "I kinda assumed Code would be here" But he wasn't. He didn't tell me he had plans. I'd probably text one of the guys later to see what they're doing.
"I think he's hanging out with Jacob but I'm not sure" Ugh. That would explain why he didn't tell me. Chase noticed my reaction and smiled.
"Great" I replied dryly.
"I know. Jacob's a dickhead" Now I was full on laughing. It sounded so weird hearing Chase say that. I didn't even know Chase was capable of foul language, but I liked it. It reminded me of toddlers saying curse words.
"So why aren't you at a wild party on a Friday evening?" He was in college and it was Friday. It didn't make sense to sit at home.
Oh.
Maybe for him it did make sense. I didn't know if he was the partying time. I'm guessing not.
He scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat. "Eh, yeah. There's this party but I decided not to go."
Why did he look so ashamed? Oh my god was he going to watch porn or something. That would be priceless.
"You prefer watching Jersey Shore alone on a Friday night? I joked
He gave me a nervous laugh. "Actually, I have to catch up on Game of Thrones" Okay, I forgive him for staying home. That show is the best thing ever. Ever.
"Dude, don't ever be ashamed to admit that. GoT is awesome!" Bus was barking at my enthusiasm. That's right, even the dog agrees.
"You can watch with me. I mean, if you don't have other plans" He asked carefully. I didn't have other plans but I could easily make them.
What were my options? Jacob? No, definitely no. I actually had no idea what the guys were doing tonight. I forgot to ask. I could always text them but just having a lazy evening was kinda tempting.
I guess Chase wasn't the worst company.
Without saying a word I jumped onto the cream colored couch next to Chase. The same couch where I had sat many times before. The same couch where Snake had dropped a drunk, sleeping Code.
I loved this couch. It was soft and supercomfy. Perfect for a GoT marathon.
"Sure! I'm caught up with the show but I don't mind watching some episodes again." I grinned and Chase mimicked my expression. I'd hoped I hadn't intruded on his evening.
He grabbed the remote to start the episode but I stopped him by holding my hand over his. He looked at my hand covering his and then he looked up to me with a questioning look on his face.
"Hang on" I smirked and went to the kitchen. It was a Friday after all and a GoT drinking game sounded perfect to me. I didn't know if Chase would like it but it's just a suggestion.
I went to the liquor cabinet to see what they had to offer. Vodka. That'll do.
I grabbed the bottle and two shot glasses and went back to the living room. Chase looked confused until he noticed what I was holding. Then he gave me a smile. I guess he approved?
"GoT drinking game. What do you think?" I didn't even know if Chase liked to drink.
"Great! What are the rules?" I guess he did. He looked as if it was a good idea so I guess everything's fine. To me, Chase was a very unpredictable person. I didn't know him well enough to know how he would react to certain situations.
Hmm. Rules. I hadn't thought this through.
"A shot everytime we see boobs?" He barked out a laughter. His laugh was just as contagious as Code's laugh. Maybe even more.
"We're gonna be wasted within the first ten minutes" I guess he was right. Well, we could always change the rules as we go.
Chase looked as if he was thinking something over. He looked at me seriously "Wait. A shot when we see a pair of boobs or just one?" Now it was my turn to laugh. He was thinking so hard about that? Obviously.
"Let's do a pair. We can always drink half a shot when we spot just one" He shrugged and seemed content with my answer.
He grabbed the remote again and pressed play. This time I didn't stop him.
Turns out Chase was right. Only ten minutes had passed and we were already drinking our third shot. At this pace we wouldn't make it to the end of the episode.
It was a lot of fun. I couldn't believe I was watching TV with a dork on a Friday night and I was having fun. Were pigs flying?
Near the end of the first episode my phone started buzzing. We weren't drunk yet but we were close. After about twenty minutes we decided to change the rules since we still had a few episodes to watch.
I was supposed to do something but I forgot what it was. Probably wasn't important.
"Youre not going to check your phone?" Chase asked with his eyes still glued on the screen. Right! My phone went off. I mentally slapped my head.
I grabbed my ass and took my phone out.
I probably should've said that differently. My phone was in my ass pocket. Ugh. Words. You know what I mean.
Snake had sent me a text. Probably asking about my plans for tonight or something. I opened it.
Beerbarian?
So that's where it was at. I didn't really feel like going. I was actually having fun.
"It's okay if you have to go." Chase said. I looked up and saw him looking at me. I think he was trying to hide his disappointment.
I didn't say anything back but held my finger in the air for him to hold on. I quickly texted Snake back. Well, not as quick as I would've liked. Alcohol slows me down.
Having GoT drinking game. Othr time?
Close enough. I didn't make too many typos. I looked up at Chase who was still looking at me patiently. I smiled.
"Next episode" I nodded towards the TV. He smiled and took the remote.
I think Snake might've texted me back but I wasn't sure. Sometimes I think I feel my phone vibrate but when I check there's no text. Weird, right? Aliens.
Anyway I didn't bother checking either. I forgot about it.
I hadn't noticed Chase was pouring in another shot until he waved the glass in front of my face. We clinked our glasses and drank it in one go.
"Tasty water" I laughed. It seemed as if the alcohol was catching up with Chase too. He gave me a sloppy smile back.
And another sex scene.
Suddenly everything went black. Where did the lights go? I noticed Chase had put his hand in front of my eyes.
I slapped his hand away and wondered why the hell he had covered my eyes.
"Nothing to see for your innocent little mind" I laughed. Hard.
"Are you implying I'm a virgin?" I raised my eyebrow. At least I think I did. I probably looked like I was having a stroke or something.
Chase suddenly looked uncomfortable and I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't laugh.
"Dude, I'm almost eightteen. There aren't a lot of virgins my age" Sadly that's true. But to be fair I was in a committed relationship when I'd lost mine.
Chase had raised his eyebrows. Oh. I hope I hadn't offended him. I mean, I've never seen him with a girlfriend and for some reason he doesn't strike me as a one night stand kinda guy.
"I-I mean it's okay if you are" Crap. Now I felt uncomfortable. Wait. Did I stutter? I don't fucking stutter! I blame the alcohol. Yes. Definitely.
Chase blinked a few times with an empty expression on his face. Then he burst out laughing.
"You look as if you pooped your pants! No, I'm not a virgin" He continued laughing. Whatever. When did we stop watching the episode? Let's go back to watching. Yes. Watching TV is safe.
I looked back at Chase to tell him we should continue watching the episode but noticed he was lost in thought. He had a frown on his face. Whatever he was thinking, they weren't happy thoughts.
No, I'm not a virgin
Was he still thinking about that? Maybe a bad break up. I knew all about those.
"Did you regret it?" No no no. Don't ask this, Jill. Alcohol made me say things I usually wouldn't say out loud.
For a second I'd thought Chase hadn't heard me and I was kinda relieved but then he looked at me. His eyes were all over the place, looking at the couch and the remote, then the shot glass and then back at me. He sighed.
"Sometimes I think I do but then I remember that I'd wanted it in that moment." I looked at him but he didn't look back. For some reason I could understand. Sometimes I wonder if my entire relationship was a mistake but then I think there were great moments.
Sometimes it's just hard remembering them when your memory is biased towards all the bad stuff.
"I guess it's always afterwards that you start doubting everything. I always say to myself to never regret anything you wanted at a certain time. Just because it leaves a bad taste in your mouth right now doesn't mean it did back then." Wow, intelligent words from a tipsy Jill.
To be honest, I felt like I was sobering up. Being overwhelmed with memories tends to do that to you, I guess.
Chase had a ghost of a smile on his face.
"Looks like you're speaking from experience, Jill" I shrugged, making it seem like I didn't care. Who was I fooling? Of course I cared. I just try to ignore it and move on. I wouldn't know what else to do.
"I guess so" I replied quietly. I didn't mean for it to come out so weak. Again, I blame the alcohol.
I was curious about Chase though. It wasn't my place to ask since we weren't really friends. I think. Were we? I had no idea.
This is the thing about alcohol. You don't hesitate asking what you want to know. If you're curious you ask the question, not caring whether it's appropriate or not. So that's what I did.
At least, that's what I was about to do
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Chase beat me to it. I guess we were both curious about each other's stories. What a way to say it though. I snorted.
"No matter in what context you say that, it'll always sound dirty" Chase laughed. So, was this storytime?
I didn't want to tell my story. Not because it was Chase but because nobody knew the entire thing. My friends knew most of it, but not a detailed version. With the amount of alcohol in my system I knew that once I'd start talking, the entire story would come out.
I needed courage. Liquid courage. I grabbed the bottle and poured myself another drink. Chase raised an eyebrow.
"If I'm gonna tell my story, I'm gonna need this" I wanted to say it jokingly but Chase nodded because he understood.
I brought the glass to my lips and felt the liquid in my mouth before I swallowed it. The sharp aftertaste of alcohol disappeared after the first three shots. Now it was like drinking water.
I sighed and put the glass back on the table. I was stalling. I was collecting my thoughts. Where do I even start? Well, at the beginning I guess.
"I was barely sixteen when I met Tobin. The guys and I were at The Beerbarian because some local bands were performing. Tobin was the lead guitarist of one of the bands. He was good."
Chase was now facing me, he was giving me his undivided attention. The episode of GoT was paused, when did that happen?
I still remember the first time I saw Tobin. He looked hot with his dirty blonde hair and piercing green eyes. I was standing in the crowd so there was quite the distance between us, yet I could see his green eyes. He had a lip ring that I loved nibbling on.
It wasn't love at first sight or anything, I just thought he was hot.
"Anyways, later that night I noticed Jacob was talking to Tobin. Apparently they were friends and he introduced us. We hit it off and became friends shortly after. You know how it is, you start talking more and before you know it you're in love. It was obvious he felt the same way so it didn't take long before we started dating."
I didn't notice Chase anymore. I was stuck in a memory and the words were flowing out.
"Everything was great. He was caring and sweet and we loved each other. I really do believe at one point we'd actually loved it each other. So naturally your relationship gets more intimate."
I looked up at Chase. He didn't say anything but the look on his face encouraged me to continue. He didn't need to talk to say anything. I felt like there was a mutual understanding between us.
"Tobin was my first. If I could go back I wouldn't change that. It wasn't a bad experience, we were in love. After that time I've never felt closer to anyone. Everything was perfect. I guess, when you're at an high the only way you can go is down, right?"
This is where it got painful for me. Fairy tales don't exist and people will let you down eventually. And that's okay, it's human nature. My only mistake was that I wasn't prepared for it. I had put Tobin on a pedestal and he couldn't do anything wrong in my eyes.
Until wrong was all I could see.
"You don't have to continue" Chase pulled me out of my thoughts. No, I'd come this far, I would finish the story. I got over it. I got over Tobin months ago. That doesn't mean I like talking about it.
"It's okay" I gave Chase a little smile to show him I was fine. He looked concerned. He was probably thinking something worse. It wasn't though. Tobin just hurt me.
"Like I said, everything was perfect after that first time, but it didn't stay that way. After a few weeks he started to get more distant. I hadn't noticed because it happened very gradually. He'd cancel on a date every once in a while. Our conversations weren't as deep as they once were. A few months later I was thinking about our relationship because Tobin had cancelled on yet another date and I noticed our relationship had turned into a physical one."
I scratched my hair. My heart had skipped a beat when I'd realised. The moment I realised my perfect relationship wasn't perfect anymore.
"I didn't jump to conclusions. Hell, I wouldn't know what conclusions to jump to. I talked about it with Tobin and he apologised and told me things would change, things would go back to how they were. And they did. For a little while. We'd have a date or two and then he'd go back to being distant. Something was up with him and he wasn't talking to me."
At one point I'd wondered if he was cheating on me. After that thought I couldn't help thinking it. I kept convincing myself it was ridiculous but what would you think? Everyone would start making things up if their boyfriend wasn't talking anymore.
"We got into fights about it. He said I was being ridiculous and unfair. He said I was seeing things that weren't there, that my fantasy was ruining our relationship. Of course I had my own theories. Anyway, we weren't communicating anymore, we were fighting and yelling but we didn't do the one thing we should've been doing. Listening to each other. Then on a Thursday, we were fighting again. At that point we spent our time having sex or fighting. It escalated at the point where I couldn't do it anymore and I broke up with him. Then he stormed out."
There was a short silence.
"I'm sorry that happened Jill" Chase handed me another shot. I hadn't noticed him pouring another glass but then again I was reliving those awful moments.
Little did he know there was more to the story. We clinked our glasses, took the shot and I resumed my story.
"That's not the end. After that Tobin started texting and calling me. Saying he was sorry and that he loved me and wanted me back. It was hard ignoring it, but we couldn't go back. We'd talked about it many times before and nothing ever changed. Then the tone of his messages would change. First he'd apologise, begging to take him back and when he'd notice I wasn't replying he'd insult me, calling me a slut and that he was glad he was rid of me. After those rants he'd apologise again. And so on. The calls were persistent. He was basically stalking me. Luckily he never did it face to face. It did lead to me having to change my number eventually. My phone would go off nonstop and it was driving me insane. Once I tried talking to him face to face but we just got into another fight. I should've never gone to him because it gave him a false sense of hope. I kept ignoring him, hoping he'd give up. He couldn't call or text me anymore because I'd changed my number, but he found other ways. Social media, letters in the mailbox, things like that."
I took a deep breath. I'd been talking really fast so I was a little out of breath.
"Then gradually it stopped. After two months he started to give up and I could breathe again. I could finally get over him. Every once in a while I'd still hear from him but it wasn't suffocating me anymore. Now I haven't heard from him in almost two months. I really hope it stays that way."
My friends didn't know the details. They didn't know to what extent Tobin had stalked me, I kinda pretended everything was fine again. They didn't know the details of the break up either, they'd known things were rocky and Tobin was acting distant but that's it.
I guess Chase is the only one, besides Tobin and me, who knows the real story.
"That's fucked up" Chase eventually said. I chuckled. That's exactly what it was. But I was okay now. It was hard at the time but now it just sucks talking about it. No more tears. Tobin got more tears from me than he was worth.
"I guess. Well, I showed you mine" Chase gave me a lopsided smile but I could see the concern in his eyes. It's one thing hearing someone's story, it's another thing telling your own.
He copied my behavior from earlier and poured himself a glass. He didn't hesitate to drink it. Chase resumed his previous position on the couch.
It was just him and me on the couch in our own little bubble. The outside world didn't exist. We were time traveling to the past. Let me tell you, I prefer living in the present.
"Well, my story seems like a dream compared to yours to be honest." He scratched his jaw and looked at his hands.
"Just because it's different doesn't mean it's not bad." No judgement. He didn't judge me, he just let me tell my story and I owed him to do the same.
"Right" He sighed. "You said earlier there weren't a lot of virgins at eightteen. Well, I was one at that age. School was very important to me during high school so I didn't really date. Don't get me wrong, school is still important but things are different in college. I started socializing more and in my first week I'd made more friends than during my entire time in high school. My friends would randomly hook up with girls at frat parties but I never did. I mean I'd kiss girls but it didn't go any further than that. I didn't want my first time to be a drunk one night stand. That's just not me."
I guess that's something I admire in Chase. He doesn't succumb to peer pressure. It's like he knows who he is and he will stand for what he believes in.
"During the first few months of college I met this girl, Everly. I spotted her alone at a college party. She had long brown hair and blue eyes and I couldn't help but talk to her."
That's because it's easier talking to someone when they're alone. I wonder what happened between Chase and Everly. I guess I didn't have to wait long before I'd find out.
"We ended up talking the entire night. She was smart and funny. She was everything you could wish for in a girl. We exchanged numbers and we started hanging out pretty much every day. After our first date it was official. We liked each other. I could talk to her about everything and I had the feeling she could too. So after two weeks I'd told her I was still a virgin and she said she didn't care about that. I was relieved."
Why would anyone care? If you're really in love it doesn't matter. You just accept that person for who they are. I guess I could understand the insecurity though.
"After three weeks of dating we were at her dorm room. Just watching a movie and drinking some wine and then things started heating up between us. A part of me was thinking it was too early because we'd only been going out for three weeks but another part of me was tellng me that we'd probably have many more weeks after that so why not do it. It would've happened eventually."
He's right. That's what I would've thought too. When you're in love and the feeling's mutual you just know in your heart that it's gonna last. You're not thinking clearly.
That's what I hate about being in love. You don't think rationally. I like my rationality and if I would've approached the Tobin situation rationally it would've gone differently. I would've seen the signs earlier.
Even though Chase's story was different from mine, in a way it was the same.
Chase sighed and continued his story.
"You were right. In that moment you don't regret anything. It's what happens after that makes you doubt everything. Just like Tobin, Everly got distant after that. It wasn't gradually though. After that night I didn't hear from her in days. I started to worry that I did something wrong. She wouldn't answer her phone and she wouldn't reply to my texts."
Why can people be so mean? Don't they know ignoring is worse than confronting people. Yes, the truth hurts but it hurts more to let your mind make up a tale by itself. Our thoughts can be our worst nightmare and only the truth can save us from that, no matter how painful it is.
Isn't it better to hurt someone instead of letting them live a lie? This is why I don't lie. Yes, the truth hurts. It hurts like a bitch. But it's better than wondering. It's better than no closure at all.
"I was desperate for answers so I decided to go to her dorm. When she saw me she just asked what I wanted. I didn't recognise that Everly. She looked the same but she didn't act the same. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't cooperate. In the end she just said she got what she wanted from me and that I should just fuck off. That was the last thing I've heard from her."
Harsh. The girl just used him. You'd think it's always the guys that are jerks and toy with feelings but girls can be just as mean.
"She wasn't worth it" I heard myself saying. There are no right words in this kind of situation.
"I know that now. Back then I thought she was." It's crazy how much people can change. Well, maybe they don't change, you just don't see their true colours.
"Jill, please don't tell anyone about this. I know you're friends with Code but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell him" Was he really worried about that? Of course I wouldn't tell Code.
"I should slap you for saying that. Of course I won't tell him. Do you think anyone knows my entire Tobin story? Well, they don't. So let's agree to keep each others secrets, alright?" I gave him a nudge.
He looked surprised by that. I guess he'd assumed people knew of my story. People only knew bits and pieces. I guess it was the same for Chase.
"Deal, let's have another drink!" Couldn't have said it any better. The bottle was almost empty at this point. We really did our best.
We clinked our glasses and laughed when I almost dropped mine. When I finished my drink I noticed Chase staring to something behind me. I turned around and noticed Code standing there.
He was home early. I think. What time is it anyway? I checked my phone. It was past midnight.
"Heeey how was Jacob?" Yeah, sober Jill left the party. I heard Chase snort behind me. Code just looked confused.
I guess that's understandable since I was getting drunk with his dorky brother I didn't communicate with. Well, we were buddies now so screw it.
"Eh, fine? What're you doing here?" No idea. Bus jumped on my lap all of a sudden. I want a dog too. That would be awesome.
Although I'd have to walk it everyday. No way was I ready for that kind of commitment. I mean when it's summer, sure! I'd love to. But during winter I'd rather curl up inside with some blankets and hot coco. Being the badass that I am.
Why is Code staring at me?
What're you doing here?
Huh. I guess he did ask that, didn't he? Oops. Slipped my mind.
"You! But you weren't home so Chasie and I invented a GoT drinking game" I wanted to ruffle Chase's hair but he stopped me. Wow, his reflexes still work? I'm impressed.
"Chasie?" Code snorted
"Yeah don't call me Chasie or I'll start calling you Jilly" Ooh, what a horrifying threat.
I rolled my eyes "Dude, people call me Jilly all the time. With people I mean Jake. Jake calls me Jilly all the time but that's because I sometimes call him Jakey. Who started that anyway? Did I start calling him Jakey or did he start with Jilly and I responded with Jakey? My head is confused" I pouted and waited for Chase to answer my question.
Chase grabbed my pouty lip "No don't pout. And how the hell am I supposed to know. My guess is that Jake started calling you Jilly. Yes. Let's stick with that." He released my lip and I rolled it in my mouth.
"Okay! Let's stick with that!" We smiled at each other.
"...right. I'm gonna go to sleep 'cause this is getting weird. See ya Jill. Night Chase." He mumbled.
"Sweet dreams Cutie" I grinned. Code narrowed his eyes and shook his head.
Chase started laughing "You call him Cutie?"
"Oh no" Code pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.
"Yeah! He hates it" I beamed at Chase
"Oh god no" I heard Code mutter behind me
"Goodnight CUTIE!" Chase waved at Code. Having a brother must be awesome. Althought right now Code looked a bit violent. Oops.
Code pointed at me "You! What have you done. Let's just hope Chasie doesn't remember this tomorrow or I'll make sure you'll never ride Jake's bike again"
I snorted and looked at Chase "He called you Chasie"
Code groaned something and went upstairs.
I should be going too. It was late and Jill needs her beauty sleep.
"I should go home" I wanted to get up but Chase held his arm in front of me so I couldn't. Mean.
"No way, you're drunk. You'll fall asleep against a tree or something" I chuckled at the image. That would be funny. I wasn't tired though.
"Don't worry, I've done this before. I'm a pro" I tried to look cool but my guess is I'd failed miserably.
Chase and I both got up at the same time. I did feel a bit wobbly but recovered quickly. Chase looked concerned. What a worry wart.
"Fine, but text me when you're home." How did he manage to look so serious right now?
"I'll text you when you're home. Wait no! When I'm home. You're already home silly!" We laughed.
"Silly? You're being silly. Silly Jilly" I loved rhymes!
We headed towards the front door and when we got there I turned around to face Chase "Thanks for the entertainment, I had fun"
Chase surprised me by wrapping his arms around me. I didn't hesitate hugging him back. Because alcohol just makes me a little more affectionate than usual. "I had fun too, thanks"
Chase was the first one to take a step back and I suppressed the urge to pout.
After we said goodbye I skipped home. Yes, I was skipping. Because skipping was faster than walking and it was fun. Until all the bouncing made me nauseous.
I stopped skipping immediately. I didn't feel like puking on the street. Or, you know, just puking in general.
Eventually I stumbled through my bedroom door and got changed into an oversized tshirt.
I was about to turn off the light when I remembered something. I still needed to text Chase! Good memory, you deserve a treat. That treat being sleep.
Grabbing my phone I jumped into bed and started texting.
Home!
That was more than enough.
Soon after, my phone buzzed. Had he been waiting for a text or something? Well, yeah obviously since I'd promised to text him.
Ok. Goodnight silly Jilly x
I hoped that name wouldn't catch on. That would suck. I texted him back.
Go chase your dreams x
I snorted. Needless to say I was pretty proud of myself. I texted again, just in case it wasn't clear.
See what I did there?
That was so clever of me. My phone buzzed again.
Very clever, Jill x
Exactly what I was thinking. I could almost see him rolling his eyes at his phone.
With a smile I drifted into dream land.