I'm Jill and these are five random facts about me
1. A day spent with Nutella is a day well spent.
2. My best friends are a cutie, cotton candy, a snake and a player.
3. I use my brain for evil purposes.
4. When I'm drunk I'm attracted to shiny things, like needles.
5. Everything changed when I met a dork.
Alright, if you insist I'll tell you about the dork situation...
[Jake: The walking cliche]
[Gwen: Pins and Needles]
- The bad girl and the dork
- Is it possible to OD on cookies?
- Nutella is the answer to all your food related problems
- Always have a secret food stash at various places
- I call it hobo chique
- I was turning on her inner lesbian
- I'm the picture of sophistication
- I've heard people taste like chicken
- It was as if Barbie had puked in her locker
- Brainfarts everywhere
- She looked like a My Little Pony
- I know you've been having buttproblems
- I swear her ovaries just exploded
- Emergency, my ass
- He was such a pretty mangirl
- Only two shots away from pink elephants
- I'd rather lick a used tampon
- He just went apeshit on me
- There's my queen
- Really Old Yogurt Grows Bad In Vanilla
- Don't flash your underwear on the first date
- I didn't know you were gonna lick the guy
- Killed us with a spoon
- The rest could suck my thumb
- A duck sniffing a dog's hiney
- We were having a Full House moment
- He was writing some kinky fanfic about polar bears
- I love you because you say things like fuckbuckets
- I can't be in the presence of candy haters
- Get your biceps out of my face
- Were you guys sniffing glue earlier?
- He was talking about toe fungus
- Couldn't you have gotten a bloody moose
- Epilogue: cover it up with Oprah's face
- Bonus: I practically survived on coffee and M&Ms
- Bonus: Code's crazy calamities
- Bonus: I was Burger King desperate
- Jake: The walking cliche
- Bonus: this is not a bonus
- Xmas bonus: decided to drop the Jill Bomb
- Anniversary bonus: Road trip