I love you because you say things like fuckbuckets

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"Jill" Gwen whined like a toddler while tugging at my oversized sweater.

"Are you trying to undress me?" I asked Gwen. My shoulder was very naked because of the tugging. We were at Gwen's locker, right before last period.

"Always." She grinned. "But Jill I wanna hang out with you. It's been so long."

"It's been two days you dickhead." I deadpanned. "Sorry, hanging out with Chase today."

Suddenly Gwen's pout turned into a smirk. I preferred the pout. Please, go back to the pout, thank you.

"I understand. Go pork your boyfriend." I burst out in laughter. Pork was probably the most unattractive word ever. Could you imagine doing a guy and all of a sudden he says 'oh yeah pork me hard' it would totally ruin it. Forever.

"Unfortunately no porking will happen today. I'm going to the library at Harvard." Yep, still geeking out. Chase had class today so we agreed to meet at Harvard and do our thing there. After that I should mug a granny, just so I could feel normal again.

Kidding! No grannies will be harmed. Deliberately.

"Gross. What about tomorrow?" People were looking at us with a weird expression because Gwen hadn't stopped touching my sweater. It didn't bother me, Gwen was Gwen.

"Tutoring, remember?" Oh God. I really should mug some grannies, I was being disgustingly dorky.

"Oh right. Sucks. But it's pretty cool though that the people that despise us need your help." Her eyes twinkled in amusement. A lot of people did think we were stupid, except for the ones I'd shared classes with. People can be such dimwits.

"I'll teach the shit out of those fuckbuckets." I deadpanned.

Gwen snorted "I love you because you say things like fuckbuckets."

"I honestly don't know why I love you." I teased Gwen.

"You don't. You tolerate me." Her face lit up, probably remembering the same thing as me.

Gwen gets impulsive ideas. A lot. Last year she tried to embarrass me when we we're shopping. She dropped to her knees in the middle of a crowded mall and yelled 'Please take me back. I don't care if you like to lick door handles. I still love you!'.

I almost fell on the ground from laughing. The looks people were giving us were priceless.

A few weeks later it was Valentine's day and decided it was my turn to return my love. So I baked her a heartshaped red velvet cake with 'I tolerate you' written on it with white frosting.

I waited until lunch and waited at the door her class was in. When she got out I dropped to my knees, just to keep the tradition going, and shouted 'Gwen, I know we haven't known each other that long but I can't keep it in any longer.' I then grabbed the cake instead of an engagement ring and said 'please accept this cake.'

It wasn't really embarrassing, in fact it was kinda cute. She even said 'awww'. She should've known I don't do cute. When she wanted to take a closer look at the cake I made sure she got a real close look and pushed the cake against her face.

Honestly, wasting food is probably the best way for me to declare love.

"Good times." I told Gwen with a grin, matching hers. "We could hang out tomorrow after tutoring," I suggested.

"Sure! I'll wait until you're done. I'll probably eavesdrop or cause havoc." She looked mischievously.

"So the usual?" I raised my eyebrow. I wasn't impressed by what she was implying.

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