A Mess
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
[ Seara's POV ]
ㅤ
ㅤ
Hufh
ㅤ
Hufh
ㅤ
Hufhㅡ
ㅤ
Okay, I need to behave.
Sooner or later, people will notice.
I need to stop calling out his name.
His reputation will be ruined if I keep doing so.
ㅤ
Okay, just. calm. down.
ㅤ
Never thought I would be so worn out just by doing three screams and some hard knocks on this hard wooden thingy right in front of my eyes.
ㅤ
I got locked. An act I had never expected from the person who turned out to hold the key somewhere inside the pocket of his black jet tuxedo all this time.
ㅤ
Pft, it was pretty amusing, actually.
ㅤ
To get dragged here with this lame, silly thought of him wanting to lowkey ask me out for a way-too-sudden date then ended up being locked all alone with the criminal being the savior himself. If I thought twice, very amusing indeed but it didn't change the fact that I was such a foolㅡa shameless oneㅡto think this would just be a simple date.
ㅤ
How I want to curse you so bad, Akashi.
ㅤ
I decided to give up from whatever will I had to go against this hopeless reality, the door would never let me out unless he came to unlock it.
ㅤ
Turning around, my eyes closed and I leaned my back on the wooden door.
ㅤ
Then the fragments of flashback suddenly surfaced behind these closed eyes.
ㅤ
"Let's just make this quick and simple. I'm not asking what's happening between you and your father, no, I'm just asking what's happening to me now? " I asked rather calmly even though I had to kill this curiosity by the end of the question. And that was so hard.
ㅤ
Akashi took one step forward, crimson eyes trapping me as usual. "Similar to what my father has said, I'm going to ruin your life."
ㅤ
Every inch of my skin itched to hear his last words. There was something bugging in the way he ended his sentence. Nightmarish, why didn't I feel that? Instead of gulping down to confirm my own bad luck, I simply clenched my fists behind as coldness began to creep up from the edge of each my fingers.
ㅤ
Because on the contrary, I felt excited.
ㅤ
Excitement had already locked itself inside me out of nowhere as if I got used to his dangerous approach. That explained why I had no trembles of fear so far.
ㅤ
But still, one step back would never hurt. I had to keep a safe distance from all these imaginary feels of bad things that surrounded him like an invisible solid wall before I could find out what this uninvited excitement came for.
ㅤ
"...My life, in what way are you going to ruin it?" I asked as my voice got a bit cracky.
ㅤ
"Hm?" Akashi slightly smirked, "in a bad way, I guess?"
ㅤ
Shocked, I bit my lower lip nervously, "B-bad? How bad? Will I die if I say no to this?"
ㅤ
Akashi looked amused as he heard my terrified voice, "No, you won't. But I will."
ㅤ
"Huh? Why youㅡ"
ㅤ
"I won't stand the fact that I lose to my own father. There will be no points to living if I let him win twice," Akashi responded plainly as he had already repeated the exact answer for so many times.
ㅤ
"You... you hate your father that much?" I asked, seeing the hatred lingering in his crimson eyes. Even though you look like your father a lot.
ㅤ
"Hate? I don't do something as simple as to hate," he denied.
ㅤ
"Uhㅡokay," I decided to stop asking him about his father, I felt like I had chosen a really wrong topic. "So, about my life, what do you mean by doing it in a bad way?"
ㅤ
"You'll have to start to live as my possession."
ㅤ
"Sorry, your what? "
ㅤ
"My woman."
ㅤ
Air suddenly lost its oxygen, no, I was the one to lose my own ability to breathe for seconds that felt like eternity.
ㅤ
"Don't you realize it yourself?" Akashi asked and destroyed that eternity, "I brought you here as a pawn to break the engagement between me and Azura. And you succeeded, you even become the reason why the head of the Fumis easily agreed to break it off. Plus, the media has already taken tons of our photos, your life won't longer stay ordinary anymore."
ㅤ
"W-what?" I was at a loss for words.
ㅤ
"And by bad way, I mean, you're just my woman in act. You're going to suffer a lot but I will try to protect you as much as I can. Call it compensation to have made you live this way but I promise that you will be safe, at least in this period of time before everything gets settled and then you're free to go," Akashi explained without a second to breathe and I could barely catch up.
ㅤ
"We're going to go through everything until my father gets sick of enjoying us," he continued, evilly smirking, "then I'll have him feel the pain of defeat at its finest."
ㅤ
The confused me who still wasn't able to say anything could only see him voicing out the plan so enthusiastically.
ㅤ
"And then he locked me here before I could even say a thing," I whispered to myself, ending the flashback with a defeated sigh.
ㅤ
I still leaned on this well-polished wooden door, legs beginning to feel weary for standing too long.
ㅤ
"You'll have to start to live as my possession."
ㅤ
"My woman."
ㅤ
My eyes jerked open as my mind suddenly recalled the moment Akashi said the words straight to myself. And that triggered my heart to pound so uncontrollably.
ㅤ
Thoughts of being his woman in act didn't bother me as much as it was supposed to do. But ones which led me to think it was a good start for my first ever experience in romance did bother me so much.
ㅤ
It was too out of my expectation for today. I simply wished for a date and all of a sudden I got myself a position as his woman. I'd worry about the act thingy later but what's the meaning of being his woman? Is it in 'that' meaning? Gosh, things escalated way too much. I wasn't even sure if I had to congratulate myself on being this lucky. Should I?
ㅤ
Glad that I was the only one breathing in this room. I'd die from embarrassment if someone watched me having my first time squealing over this moment of finally getting progress with my own crush. Yeah, I'd die. And I'd want the ground to swallow me alive.
ㅤ
Actually no. I'd just show the world how fantastic it is to experience this kind of thing, especially when it comes to the person whose name will always do some ticklish throbs all over your poor little heart.
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
A full-length mirror near the corner of the room stole my attention. My heels began to guide me there.
ㅤ
I took a look at my own reflection. I never knew I could ever be the way I dressed up now, like this.
ㅤ
All things on me seemed to improve myself so gratifyingly. Even though I got worried about the thin dress that clearly exposed my shape, I was thankful that this could be the reason for me to stay behind his protective back whenever people tried to eye me out.
ㅤ
And this peachy, natural make-up on my face helped my eyes stand out the most. I found them very pleasing to look at.
ㅤ
The room was so spacious. Really. I had just found it out after taking a better look. It was a great place to be alone. Just what I wanted.
ㅤ
To be alone.
ㅤ
The old me might wish to stay as long as she could in this room. So that people wouldn't get hurt. So that she wouldn't have to hurt herself for hurting people. And so she could still have faith in her own eyesㅡin herself.
ㅤ
But now that old me isn't here anymore. She's gone. Gone for good.
ㅤ
The loneliness that once was such a land full of peace had flipped upside down and turned into an endless hollow.
ㅤ
Screw the thought of being afraid to hurt people as if they didn't hurt me in the first place. Why do I have to betray myself just for everyone's sake?
ㅤ
I had abandoned myself for quite a long time, I became insensitive for all sorts of feelings. And to play this act which would likely bring me down in the end, I'd still go through it. Pain is what makes you feel alive anyway, I had to make up for all the time I wasted for being insensitive so I wouldn't care if it was going to be only an act. To me, that's the sign of every possible start.
ㅤ
And this heart just wouldn't stop pounding in a messy rhythm. It suffocated me, very much.
ㅤ
My mind kept repeating that one name and it terrified me.
ㅤ
I needed to get out.
ㅤ
I needed to find out.
ㅤ
And I swear to God if he comes here then unlocks the door before I get done counting to tenㅡ
ㅤ
One.
ㅤ
Two.
ㅤ
Three.
Hurry, come.
ㅤ
Four.
ㅤ
Five.
ㅤ
Six.
Come on...
ㅤ
Seven.
ㅤ
Eight.
ㅤ
Nine.
Please, please, please...
ㅤ
Ten.
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
Okay, what a foolish bet. Nevermind.
ㅤ
"It's time to return home. Sorry for locking you inside, I have my own reason."
ㅤ
Oh God.
At this time, right now,
let me confirm just one thing.
ㅤ
I, speaking for this shameless little heart of mine, seem to have fallen for someone.
ㅤ
And the name is Akashi Seijuurou.
ㅤ
So be it my life or anything,
I think he can ruin me and all.
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
✃ - - - - - -
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
My eyes squinted at a small black thing that had a blue light shining dimly on its surface. A part of me doubted the accuracy of this temperature switch thingy. I could barely enjoy the cold air brushing my skin. Adding more, my body acted like a well-done sculpture in this stifling air even though I knew the air conditioner was doing its job right.
ㅤ
ㅤ
Yes, I was inside a carㅡhis car to be more precise. And with him actually driving me home by himself, in a literally clear night, without music or any other distractions, and was just dark enough to thank the small lights that shone along the street.
ㅤ
And one more thing, he even put his tuxedo on my shoulders and effortlessly rolled up his sleeves before opening his car door for me.
ㅤ
This is not good.
ㅤ
I really wanted all of this to end. Too many things happened in barely a day and seemed like Akashi still had something unfinished too. I wasn't even sure if I could still recollect myself.
ㅤ
ㅤ
Our ride was a smooth one. Akashi was indeed a good driver, just as expected. And one interesting side from this driving-mode Akashi was when he accelerated the speed up on a real clear road, some veins on his hand started to pop out as he moved that muscular hand of him whenever he turned the steering wheel in the direction he wanted. And that was such a sight to see. I didn't want to wish things to end so easily anymore.
ㅤ
"ㅡGo slowly..."
ㅤ
"What?"
ㅤ
Well shit, that slipped out of my tongue before I noticed. How could he hear me anyway? It was barely a whisper!
ㅤ
"You can't handle speedy rides?" Akashi asked before his veiny hand that had become the main subject of my thought came to my direction. His hand began to hold my cheek before he gently pulled it in so that he could bring my face in his direction.
ㅤ
There was this deep kind of emotion growing strongly inside me. The gaze we were having at this distance got me stunned. We got locked like this, with eyes being an invisible keyhole. But for me, I was struggling alone just to exhale one breath. It was tiring, very suffocating, yet I was sure I'd be just fine if we were going to stay like this forever.
ㅤ
Hot. His hand palm was a dangerous kind of warmth. Or was it only my cheek burning in flutter? I foolishly pitied his hand for having to rest on such a burning hot surface. But seemed like Akashi didn't even notice it as he brought my face closer to him.
ㅤ
I was aware that he was in the middle of driving. And yes, he had slowed down the car. But still, this was dangerous. Even though he had one hand remain steady on the steering wheel, what we were doing was still dangerous.
ㅤ
So here I was, questioning how such a crazy slow motion could happen in such a moment that was supposed to occur in a very short time.
ㅤ
Oh my, get back driving, Akashi!
ㅤ
But of course, those words wouldn't come out.
ㅤ
"You're having a fever? Your cheek is burning hot and red," Akashi asked in a slight confusion which actually made me want to scream at him that it was all because of his doings.
ㅤ
"Why didn't you say so that you can't handle speedy rides? I could've slowed down earlier," Akashi sounded a bit angry in that stoic expression he had.
ㅤ
And that made me take a deep breath. This time he was surprisingly wrong. Very wrong.
ㅤ
"I do like speedy rides! I'm even a fan of roller coaster!" I said, raising my voice at him. "But this! What you're doing right nowㅡnevermind! I'm red because I can't properly breathe because of this!" I managed to speak for myself and moved my hand to repeatedly tap his hand as a wish to make him take his own hand away from my cheek.
ㅤ
And yes, he let go in an instant.
ㅤ
"Ah, my apologize," he awkwardly said, placing his hand on the back of his hair, then back to the steering wheel again.
ㅤ
"You're too much, Akashi," I responded rather unconsciously while desperately fanning my cheeks with my hands.
ㅤ
"...," he silently replied, completely denying my words. "You looked like you were about to throw up in any second and in this car of mine, such thing is strictly prohibited."
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
"..."
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
"You heard me?"
ㅤ
"Mmhm," I nodded while silently chuckling at his sudden warningㅡmore like the funny one was me to think that he would care about me more than his car.
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
✃ - - - - - -
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
Home sweet home.
ㅤ
Yep, I had arrived home nearly on the time mom had set for us.
ㅤ
Akashi walked behind me, he said he wanted to greet mom before going back on his way home.
ㅤ
Well, okay, it was kinda heart-warming right before I spotted each one of a familiar car and motorcycle that were neatly parked inside my house's garage. Real bad news.
ㅤ
"Akashi, you don't have to walk me inside," I said, turning around to face him. "You must be tired for today, right? You'd better hurry home too. Mom will understand just fine if you can't greet her now."
ㅤ
"But I can though?" Akashi quickly replied.
ㅤ
"No, you cannot!" I stated, running hurriedly towards the fence, got in, and locked it so Akashi would have no option but to give up greeting my mom and then go straight home.
ㅤ
Akashi looked at me in confusion, "What are you doing? Open it."
ㅤ
"Well, Akashi, there are things I want to thank you for, like this dress and your tux that I promise I'll give them back to you as clean as possible. But there are also some things you need to at least feel sorry for me, like my voluntary to be your woman in the act. And one way to thank my voluntary is for you to simply go home as in right now," I smiled nervously, hoping he would understand.
ㅤ
Akashi remained silent for some seconds before he tilted his head slightly to the right, "It's common courtesy to say a thing or two to the parents who have given their permission to take their daughter out."
ㅤ
"...Fine. Tell me about your reason and I'll decide."
ㅤ
"Otoo-san and Kai-nii have come home," I spilled the strongest reason ever. It was the truth anyway.
ㅤ
"Isn't that a good thing? Let me greet them too then," Akashi offered.
ㅤ
Oh wow, this genius is not aware of such a war.
ㅤ
"No! It's not a good thing. It's rather a deathly one, trust me," I tried to convince.
ㅤ
"I can handle thatㅡ"
ㅤ
"Waaah, it's so cold outside! Well, then thanks for today! It was quite fun! See you tomorrow at school!" I blabbered a quick goodbye to him and just dashed inside my house right in front of his eyes.
ㅤ
Somehow I feel like I would have a hard time tomorrow...
ㅤ
But at least, now I'm safe! And Akashi's safe too!
ㅤ
If those two know I was out with a guy for a whole day, they'd surely turn into a how-dare-you-take-this-girl-out-you-lowly-peasant kind of soul reapers.
ㅤ
"I'm home~" I said.
ㅤ
"Welcome home!" everyone replied in a rhythm.
ㅤ
"Is Kai-nii downstairsㅡ"
ㅤ
"ㅡMY LITTLE SISTER YOU'VE GROWN UP SOOOO MUCH!" Kai-nii suddenly came out of nowhere and did that excessive way of greeting every time he went home for a vacation. Yes, he was studying abroad.
ㅤ
"God, let go of me!" I begged, laughing at my own older brother's unchanged behavior.
ㅤ
"Don't wanna~ We haven't met for 6 months long you know," he said, swinging me to left and right.
ㅤ
"But thisㅡ"
ㅤ
"Just let him be. Kai-nii was doing me wooooorse," a tired little Nayoko came to me with a relieved smile on his face, "anyway, thanks for coming home, nee-chan! You saved me!" he said, smiling happily to see me having my own turn.
ㅤ
"Wait, why do you smell likeㅡhey? Did you just go out with a guy today? " Kai-nii suddenly asked me a triggering question.
ㅤ
"WHAT?!" Father shouted from the living room.
ㅤ
"Uhㅡno, Iㅡ"
ㅤ
"SEARA, GO CLEAN YOUR BEDROOM NOW!" mom's sudden scream cut everyone out. "You left it very dirty, clothes everywhere and all, yucks! I can't stand it! Hurry to clean it up!!!"
ㅤ
"Y-yes, mom."
ㅤ
"Oh wait, have you had dinner?" Mom asked.
ㅤ
"I did."
ㅤ
Then we smiled together, widely. It was a smile only we knew what was the real meaning behind it.
ㅤ
ㅤ
I began to walk towards my bedroom, carrying the thought of what happened today.
ㅤ
"Even though I don't promise you anything about this but the fact that you're now my girlfriend is happening and valid. It's fine for you not to see me as the boyfriend but if you ever need me, say it's in or even out of the line, you can always count on me. That's the least I can do to have cost you life as a girlfriend in businessㅡ"
ㅤ
Thump
ㅤ
Walking in one tiny step to another tiny ones. Soon they widened themselves and even got quickened.
ㅤ
Thump
ㅤ
Not that I didn't realize I might have jumped couples of stairs but also ran all the way just to stand for a while in front of my bedroom door.
ㅤ
I didn't pant, even though my breath was quite heavy.
ㅤ
Because now I know, once I step inside, I have to tidy up.
ㅤ
Tidy what you say?
ㅤ
My heart of course.
ㅤ
Why?
ㅤ
Because right now,
my heart is in such a big mess.
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
✩•̩̩͙*ೃ˚° ~ ଘo(∗ ❛ั ᵕ ❛ั )੭່˙ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᶠᵒʳᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵛᵒᵗᵉ ˚.*ೃ
♡