This is just a chapter to make up for posting late last week. I will still upload my next chapter on Wednesday, thank you for your patience.
Love you guys,
-cilla
On Christmas, Charlie was invited to see his family. "It's so damn soon." He grumbled rudely, fixing the collar on his shirt, looking back at himself in the mirror with a glare.
I sighed. "It is." I agreed. Just the previous day I got back, and we agreed to visit his family. It was very soon. "But it's a family holiday." I mentioned, seeming to only aggravate him more.
I decided to keep quiet, because I learned talking would only make him pissed off at me.
He growled at himself, throwing his hands down from his neck. "Let's go." He grumbled, turning without giving me a glance and heading the steps from his apartment door, me following close behind after locking it.
I slipped in the passenger's seat and thought to myself on the long and silent drive there. It came to me then and I tried to keep my cool when I asked, "Charlie?"
"Mn." He grunted in response. It was actually irritating me how he was acting.
"What... what do I tell them? If...-"
"What Diana," He groaned rudely, seeming extremely annoyed by me.
I rolled my eyes at him, "If you're gonna act like this the entire time, just turn around so we can go back." I told him tiredly.
He let out a breath, still seeming very irritated, but I watched his expression soften and he looked at me before turning back to the road. "Okay, sorry." He said. "What were you asking?"
I cleared my throat, trying to gain the confidence when I asked the awkward question, and cover up the tension that he built when he shot me an affectionate look. "What if they ask how old I am?" I finally said. Or how we met. But that would sound like we were together. "What if they ask about... You and me? Like, what we are?"
I finally looked at him and watched as he had a thoughtful look on his face, his eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. It made me wonder what it was he was deciding. When he stepped out of his trance, he ran a hand through his hair in preamble. "Well, if you're not comfortable with lying, just tell them you're eighteen."
I flushed, hearing how it bothered him by him just saying it.
"And, uh," He began, stretching his neck uncomfortably. "We can tell them, we're, uh..."
Together?
or
Friends?
"Friends?" He suggested lowly.
I let out a chuckle, trying to hold back whatever it was I was feeling. It hurt, but what could I expect? We weren't in a committed relationship, and suddenly I remembered Andy and didn't feel any better. "Okay, sounds good to me." I said, sitting back in my seat, then thinking. "How old should I say I am?" I asked, staring at the road in front of me curiously.
I saw from the corner of my eye him glancing at me. He smiled, and reached for my hand. "How old do you feel?" He asked.
I looked at him as soon as I sensed his smile, not wanting to miss a moment of it. "Sometimes I feel fifty. Sometimes I feel five."
He laughed, laughed, his beautiful laugh that made me blush, made me lace my fingers through his and have an urge to cuddle into him. "You can be twenty-three. Sometimes you act older, but sometimes you do act like a fucking five year old."
I laughed back at him, loving how his mood suddenly switched. But the soberness suddenly brought me to reality and I wondered that painfully confusing question again. Just say we're friends. Why was it so hard to hear that outloud when I've known it all along?
He must've caught it, because Charlie squeezed my hand in his and asked, "What is it?"
"Nothing," I answered all too quickly and all too casually.
"Tell me." He said.
I held my breath. No, we weren't supposed to know. "I don't know." I said dumbly. "I don't know..."
While I spoke, he parked in front of such a cozy looking home. Boards painted a faded yellow and rose bushes widely sprawling along the front yard. A couple dogs roaming the grass, chasing eachother and running from sweet little children that reached for them. It was so sweet, and I wished I could say what he said when he grumbled: "Yeah, this is where I grew up."
I was in a trance. The truck parked in the front, the welcome decorations, rusted windchimes, one story and a shiney looking mailbox with the classic, Grant, painted on sloppily.
"I love it." I immediately said.
He, again, looked at me funny. "You haven't even been inside."
I looked back at him and smiled. "I love it already." With a sigh, "I'm actually jealous of you." I looked back at the house, admiring the playful children and watching as Savannah walked out and told the children to leave the dogs alone. "I wish I could've grown up in such a cozy looking place."
When I snapped out of it, he was staring at me. An expression of apology on him, and I wasn't sure why at the time. He pulled me to him, unaware of the people outside who could possibly see him being so affectionate to me. He kissed my forhead before catching my lips. "I forget sometimes." He admitted. "How fortunate I am."
I wanted to cry then, because the ashamed look on his face made me feel so bad. He felt terrible for his reaction to his family and it showed. I hugged him. I wanted to say something. Meaningless words wanted to slip out randomly just to see how I'd feel, and just to see how he'd react. But I caught myself before I even dared. "Who knew the evil calculus teacher was actually such a sweetheart?" I teased.
He looked down at me and our noses almost touched. "Don't test me, Diana." He growled with his arms around me.
I blushed under his stare and he rolled his eyes. "You're cute." He mocked me, pinching my cheek.
I slapped him away and pulled back before we got too into eachother and I readied myself. He didn't look happy.
"We have to go in sooner or later."
"Or never."
I glared at him as I opened the door, realizing Savannah went inside. "We're already here."
He turned grumpy as he pushed himself outside, the cold air consuming me and I followed him to his house. The children gazed up at him in admiration. "Uncle Chance, we missed you," A little boy said to him, with light brown eyes like Charlie's.
"Hey Cody." He said casually, leaning down and fist bumping this kid. "You're- wow, you're big now."
The boy grinned proudly. "Thanks, I'm seven."
The little girl who was with him seemed to shy back when Charlie landed his eyes on her, but he looked completely serene. "Kendall, you're so old now." He admired.
She smiled. "So are you." She said back sweetly.
I laughed at the innocent response and he stood up, shoving me over playfully, then looking down at the girl. She gave him a hug. "Stay away from boys, you're getting prettier by the day."
I looked at him in awe, completely unaware of how sweet he was to children. How sweet he was to children. I was in a daze.
We walked to the front porch and he simply turned the knob and swung it open, now looking uncomfortable. How was he so awkward in his own home?
"Is that him?" I heard a whisper.
"Yeah, he was sitting in his car for a while." Another hushed voice.
He clenched his jaw and I reached for his arm, touching him gently to see if he was still aware I was with him. He remembered, and brought me close for what seemed like a confidence-kiss.
We walked into the living room, where there were many other people. "Chance!" A man sat up, a man who looked a lot like him. "You're actually here!" He laughed deeply, walking over to Charlie and pulling him into a familiar hug. "You're old now." The man teased.
Charlie seemed to try to lighten up, and it seemed like enough to his family. "Who are you calling old?" Charlie said back, nudging the man back.
I recognized his mother as she walked over to him, keeping her distance. "I'm glad you're here." She said kindly.
He didn't look very happy, but he kept his rudeness down when he gave her a simple nod.
She then looked at me, "Diana, right?"
"Yes," I told her and she seemed like she wanted to reach out for a friendly hug, but settled with a handshake. She was so... so motherly. I was even more jealous of Charlie then.
"Well there's plenty of food, we're just now getting settled down, so you two can- oh! I completely forgot!" She turned to the rest of the family. There were at least thirty other people in that room who were staring at both Charlie and I. "This is Diana, Chance's girlfriend."
I held back the urge to stiffen at her words and spared a glance at Charlie to see his embarrassed face. He stood behind me and whispered so only I could hear him, "I'm sorry."
I only smiled and shook my head, telling him it was fine because it was funny. But I was still slightly uncomfortable.
We escaped into the kitchen and he leaned against the fridge with a huff. I laughed at him. "It wasn't that bad." I said lightly.
"Stop talking." He grumbled.
I rolled my eyes and looked around, admiring the food set in front of me.
"Don't roll your eyes at me."
I let out a sigh and looked at him again. "I don't understand." I said.
He looked at me funny, not understanding what I was saying.
"This place is perfect." I ended up saying in a trance.
"How? Diana, you're house is huge, and just so nice."
I shook my head, feeling the uncomfort of thinking about my house. It didn't have the homey feeling like his, and I wish it did. I wish I could remember waking up for school to a mother who would watch me leave, saying her constant and temporary goodbyes. "Yeah. It's big. But it's empty, too."
"You wouldn't rather live in my apartment, I'll tell you that."
I chuckled. "You wanna bet? Charlie, I'd choose your cozy apartment over my cold and empty house anyday." Then there was the fact that I loved sleeping with him.
He seemed to understand then, pushing off from the fridge and pulling me to him. "You remind me how good I had it." He shook his head, "How good I have it."
I blushed and he smiled again, a small one that made me feel like I was melting.
Before he kissed me I stopped him, making his eyes narrow in confusion. "Let's get our food so we can join everyone else." I said.
He groaned and pulled away. "I'm not eating anything." He growled.
I rolled my eyes again. "Oh don't be a girl."
It seemed to amuse him, and he obeyed, grabbing a plate and filling it with food. He prepared himself as we left the kitchen and it was so full, it was hectic. I loved it.
Everyone felt so comfortable around eachother, it made me comfortable. Charlie was still grumpy and I had to pinch him a few times to get him to ease up on some people.
His mother came by when he was pulled away from some man who seemed to be his cousin. "He seems to listen to you." She said.
I smiled and gave her a shrug. "But he'll always be a grump." I added in jokingly.
"It's been a while since I've seen his smile." She said with sad eyes.
"Yeah, when I met him I didn't think he knew how to." I laughed because I remembered how true it was.
She shook her head, seeming to bring herself back to reality and she looked at me. "You're very pretty." She said, and I thought oh no, here it comes... "How old are you?"
I held it in, and was about to master the simple lie, when I was saved by a mean, yet gentle man.
"Hey," He said grumpily to me, trying to pull me away.
I looked at his mother, about to say something when she shook her head in understanding. "We'll talk later." She said with a smile.
He pulled me back and I pulled away, "I was having a conversation." I said bluntly.
"Yeah I saw." He ran a hand through his hair, seeming to try to calm down what seemed like irritation.
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked, seeing him pulling at his collar.
He nodded, looking at the crowd of family that filled the house. "How much longer do we stay?" He asked, suddenly seeming like a child.
"That's up to you."
He stared at me, then narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Is this a test?"
I laughed at him and he smiled faintly, which was a lot for him being so aggravated. "What do you want to do?" I asked him.
"Sorry, did you ask who?" He leaned in and spoke lowly.
I blushed and pushed him back, "You know exactly what I said," I tried to speak sternly, but the amusement leaked through and he caught it, then looked up.
"I feel people watching me."
"They missed you."
"Why? I don't understand, I wasn't ever nice to them."
"You weren't ever nice to me either." I crossed my arms, attempting to joke, but saw how his eyes went to the floor in shame. I reached for his hand and he locked his in mine immediately. "I was kidding."
"It's true."
I couldn't deny that. "But look," I said. "You like me now." I joked again and he didn't smile like I wished he would.
"Yeah, I do."
We weren't saying anything for a while, standing hand in hand, facing eachother. I looked around for the first time in a while and noticed the many people who looked over curiously at the two of us. I turned back to Charlie and tugged on him. "Introduce me to someone." I said.
His eyes flickered up around the house then down back me. His hand took my own and he walked me around, finally standing in front of the man who first spoke to him when we came in. "Harry," Charlie greeted sternly, releasing my hand to touch my back and introduce me. "This is my friend, Diana."
I smiled. His friend. I was unsure of how to feel knowing I could be in that catoragory. "Just your friend?" Harry smirked, reminding me a little of Charlie.
The man at my side narrowed his warm eyes and spoke with a dark tone. "Yes, my friend and that's it."
It hurt for only a second, then I remembered Andy and felt less guilty. If I was his friend, I wasn't doing anyone wrong but Andy. Sure, Andy saw me as a friend, but I knew with him he could want more.
Harry shook it off and turned to me, taking my hand and clamping his around mine. "It's nice to meet you, Diana."
"Diana, this is Harry. My cousin."
I greeted Harry the same.
"How's the job?" He asked Charlie, me turning casually away to watch the people who walked around and mingled.
"Good." Charlie answered shortly.
"What do you do?" Harry asked me when I looked back.
"Oh I don't work." I said, not knowing if that was the smart thing to say.
"How old are you?"
"Twenty-three." I answered smoothly.
Charlie seemed to look sheepish at me, obviously feeling bad for making me lie. But what would be worse was if he knew Charlie was my teacher.
Harry raised both eyebrows at his cousin and Charlie rolled his eyes. "Since when do you like younger ladies, Chance?"
Charlie's ears flushed and I laughed at him, making him even more annoyed. Harry then turned to me. "Are you looking for a job? I work in the entertainment industry, so if you need any hookups, I got you." He winked, obviously trying to come off as flirty to piss off Charlie, and it seemed to work.
I smiled, "Thanks, but I'm not looking for one just yet." I said, trying to hold in my amusement.
"Yeah, we're gonna stop talking to you now." Charlie grumbled, putting his arm around me and turning around rudely, making Harry laugh loudly behind us.
I elbowed him lightly. "Why are you so mean? He was only joking."
"Sh." He shushed me, putting his hand over my mouth and I elbowed him again.
"I don't appreciate your hostility, Charles." I said to him, seeming he was amused at me.
"Shut up, Diana." He suddenly said, an amused smirk leaking through with his words.
"I see, you wanna laugh, I know you do."
"Stop talking."
"You really need to stop telling me that." I stopped walking and crossed my arms, keeping the stern amusement I had.
He finally grinned at me and touched my cheek in admiration. It embarrassed me how he acted like we were the only ones in that house, and I felt the stares of his family members burning at me.
"Having fun?" Savannah came by.
Charlie seemed to lighten up at her, and it shocked her so much, as well as me.
"Kendall and Cody are big now."
"Yes, they are. They're little brats, but they're polite kids." She spoke proudly.
"Where's the mister?" Charlie asked.
"He couldn't make it. Work is a bitch."
"So are you."
She laughed, "Oh, so we're back to name calling. Very immature, Chance."
"Yeah, I need to stop hanging around this one, here." He nodded to me.
I rolled my eyes. "Well I'm glad you're here." Savannah said to Charlie after her kids called her. "I'm glad you are, too." She then said to me.
Then we talked to other people, and it was fun.
...
"Thanks." I told Charlie in his bed while he was getting out of the shower and slipping on boxers under his towel.
"Thanks?"
"I had a lot of fun today."
He turned around and climbed in beside me, smelling fresh and warm. "Yeah." Was all that stubborn man said, and I didn't push it any further.
"Merry Christmas." He kissed my neck suddenly.
"Mhm.." I sighed out with closed eyes as he climbed over me and began to rub my leg.
I ran my hands through his hair, so thankful I was able to touch him. So thankful he treated me differently from everyone else. So thankful he made it seem like I meant something to him.
Even if we were just friends.