Levi
The rubber on the soles of my shoes squeaks when I take a sharp left and run down the long hospital corridor. I left my family - who insisted on coming here - at the entrance, needing to get to Tilly as quick as possible.
I search the big board on the ceiling for the ward Dylan said to meet them in and change direction when I see I'm going the wrong way. I'm so on edge I don't know left from right.
"Levi, in here," Dylan says when I push through the door and stare down the corridor of curtained off rooms.
I push back the pale blue curtain and spot Tilly looking all small and frail in the hospital bed. "Hey, sweetheart," I whisper.
"Lee?" she blinks several times, not seeming to be able to keep her gaze straight.
Dylan comes up behind me. "They need to pump her stomach. We're waiting for the doctor."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My feet take me over to the side of her bed where I smooth my hands all over her face. "Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me."
Tilly wrenches away. "No," she gazes around the room. "Dylan?"
"Don't smother her right now," Dylan says, crossing his arms over his chest. Eyes haunted. "She's not herself."
I'm not happy about it, but I listen.
"Okay."
The curtain flaps in the wind and two doctors arrive, a nurse following them. Tilly is on edge then, body shaking when they start to lay out the apparatus.
"Where are you putting the tube?" she shouts, starting to cry.
One of the doctors smiles calmly in her direction. "It will be going down your throat. You won't feel a thing. I promise."
"Lee, help me," she says, shoulders shaking. "I don't want them to do it. Tell them. Tell them."
I grab hold of her hands and hold them to my chest. "Could you sedate her?"
The doctor who's opening a tub full of liquid glances at me. "No, sir. There are already drugs in her system. We have to be careful. It will be over in seconds. Once the tube is inside the oesophagus, there is no feeling."
I kneel at her bed and place my lips on her hand in mine. "Look at me."
She does.
"You're brave. I know it's not nice, but they need to do it. I'm here. I'm not leaving."
"Okay," she blinks several times.
The doctors get to work, positioning her on the bed right, measuring the tube. If I didn't want to be strong for Tilly; I'd be a mess right now.
"If you could both step outside for a moment," the nurse says kindly.
Dylan starts to move, but I'm frozen in place. I can't leave her. Not when she's so scared. My fingers clench into a fist when the nurse politely asks for me to move again. I need to stop thinking about my pain and let them do their job.
When the curtain closes, it seems to quieten down. My attention on listening out for Tilly. It's torture when she starts to cry, letting out a few choking noises. The doctor tells her that she's doing well, but it sounds like a murder scene in there.
Dylan uses both hands to comb his hair back. "I can't keep putting myself through this. It's why I disappeared in the first place. I'm worried sick about her."
I try to refrain from pushing my way into the room at the sound of her wails. "How did you find her?"
He looks at me. "Her uncle called from a pay phone. Said she was in trouble and I needed to come pick her up."
I nod. "Right. I can't help but feel like this is all my family's fault."
"It wouldn't have helped if they upset her, but she's very vulnerable and struggles to deal with a lot of things."
"She was doing so well," I whisper.
"Mental health is a weird thing," he shakes his head. "You can be fine for years and then suddenly the world seems heavy on your shoulders, and you're back to square one."
The curtain pulls back, and the nurse pops her head around the corner of it. Smiling she says, "One of you can come in here."
"I'll come," I rush, and Dylan doesn't argue.
Tilly is on her side with her head flat on the single pillow. Eyes closed tight. Not wasting any time, I rush over and kneel on the floor, kissing her forehead when she opens her eyes.
"Don't speak," I say, hating every minute of her sadness. "I'm here. I'm not leaving you, Tilly."
The doctor clears his throat. "If you could stand on the other side of the bed, Sir. We need to be able to come in on this side."
I jump up and rush to the other side of the bed and mumble, "Sorry."
"Right, we're going to add the saline now," The doctor says in a soothing tone.
The strands of Tilly's hair fall through my fingers. It's horrific. I can't believe we're in this situation. God, she looks so poorly.
The nurse tells her that she's doing well as the tears flood down her cheeks. I rest my arm over her stomach when her body starts to shake, kissing the back of her head.
"Oh, here come the tablets," The doctor says, counting four.
The sounds in this room are going to give me nightmares.
Tilly gags and then snorts, eyes wide and bloodshot.
"Don't spit it out. Swallow it," the nurse says, pushing the tube back down her throat.
My stomach turns in sympathy.
It's more than fucking horrendous. It's barbaric.
More water drips into the bucket, and it sounds like pennies falling into the fountain.
"Okay, we're all out."
The doctor stands back with the bucket, eyes fixated on its contents.
"You're fine," the nurse says to Tilly, wiping her face with a paper towel. "You did well."
"Hmmm," Tilly moans, shuddering a few times. "Lee. Lee, I'm sorry," she sobs.
I blink extra hard to stem my tears, not wanting it to be about me. "It's okay, my brave girl. I love you. I love you."
"My throat hurts," she coughs.
The nurse makes sure that Tilly has another pillow behind her head when she says, "We're going to put you on a drip and monitor you overnight, okay? We'll also need you to go to your GP for some blood-work. Just to check your liver is working good. There's also a therapist at hand if you want the help."
Tilly sniffles. "I don't need help. This was a silly mistake. I won't do it again. I swear it."
Patting Tilly's knee, the nurse leaves the room for the doctor to stand in.
Tilly looks at me. Ghostly pale. "I didn't mean to do it. I swear to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Tilly
I rest my eyes, enjoying the quiet of the hospital ward. They moved me to the non-emergency department where I'm in a room with four other patients.
"The food cart's coming around. You hungry?" Levi says from his position near the bed.
I lift one eye. "No, I'm good."
I feel like my stomach is stapled from the inside.
"The doctor said you should try to eat something. How about a ham roll? Or a chocolate brownie?"
I shrug. "Whatever then. You choose for me."
Levi gets up and tugs down his jeans, so they don't look cropped on his skinny legs. "I could eat too. I'll surprise you."
My lips creep up into a genuine smile, feeling more human than I did a few hours ago.
"Oh, hey," Levi says when he stops in the doorway. I can't see who it is through the window. "I didn't want you here. Tilly isn't very well, and I don't think she's up for visitors."
Edward comes into view. All bruised and sad looking. We stare at one another until I look away. "I just wanted to see how Tilly is feeling. I-erm-Delilah and I bought Tilly a few gifts."
"Gifts?" Levi laughs, motioning towards me. "You think a gift is going to help?"
Edward shakes his head. "No. I just wanted to say sorry. I'm disgusted with myself right now. I don't know why I was so hateful and I want to see Tilly. I'll make this right again, Lee. Honest."
Levi snorts. "You're going nowhere near Tilly. Leave."
Edward hesitates at the door. "Shit, man. You've never spoken to me that way. I'm sorry, Lee. So damn sorry."
Levi inhales a sharp blast of air through his nose and turns back to me, leaving his brother.
Edward walks through the door. "Tilly," he shrinks in size. "Hey there. How're you feeling?"
"Shit," I respond.
And, I do.
"Yes, well, I'd imagine so," he puts a paper gift bag with butterflies on the front on top of my legs. "Here's a little something. I, erm, take it that you heard my vicious words?"
I nod.
He winces. "There isn't anything I can say to make it up to you. I shouldn't have said it in the first place. It was distasteful and mean. I'm truly very, very sorry."
I lift my arm and feel my side ache like a bitch. "You don't have to apologise. It's the truth. I'm nothing like your family. And, I did take drugs. You're allowed your opinion."
Even to my own ears, I sound dead.
"No," Edward rushes, eyes misting over. "Please don't let my mindless comments get to you. I'm a fucking idiot. You've been nothing but kind to me, and I shit all over it."
The heaviness in my eyes grows stronger the longer I'm awake. "I'm too different from your family. I don't fit in, and Levi needs to find himself a better girlfriend."
It takes him a while, but Levi comes up spluttering for air. "No, Tilly."
The saline is doing its job in healing my body when I start to relax into sleep. "I don't expect for you to be here when I wake up. Thank you for everything, Lee. You're truly an amazing guy, and I feel incredibly lucky to have spent time with you."
"Are you for real?" he says, voice breaking down.
Our fingers join together. "You should be happy. I'm setting you free."
"Free from what?" he responds with pale cheeks.
I sigh. "Free from my curse."
...
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