A Verbal Warning
A few days later, I’m sitting on Alex’s living room floor surrounded by post-it notes. The whole floor is a neon ocean and I’m covered in little pen marks from where I’ve been writing so frantically and I’ve missed the paper, etching onto my skin instead. The script Gene had sent me is sitting to the side of me, which I keep glaring at angrily.
I’m getting nowhere.
Even the cork board Alex had excitedly bought me is not helping. If anything it’s just a hurtful reminder of how terrible I am at this and how Gene should not have put his faith in me.
My hands are shaking and I can’t concentrate.
My mind just isn’t willing to focus on this script. There are so many distractions around me. I mean, the script is decent enough, quite good actually, but I can’t see it inside my mind. All I can see are multi coloured post-it notes and they’re making me feel nauseous.
I’ve had over a hundred hours since Alex gave me the script from Gene, but it’s still as unfamiliar to me as it was when he first handed it to me. I just can’t see any of the characters inside my head and I can’t imagine any of the scenes.
The scene I’m given is meant to be an argument between the two main characters. I don’t even know what the argument is about, that’s how little I remember of it. My eyes are blinking frantically and I’m trying to focus but honestly I just feel dizzy. I keep drifting away to thoughts of real people, not just words creating characters on a piece of paper.
I haven’t seen Tessa or Aria in a few days, I haven’t seen my parents in even longer than that and I’m worried that something’s happened. Although, it seems unlikely that something bad would have happened if I’m honest, everything was fine a few days ago.
On the bright side, Alex has come around to the idea of Tessa being pregnant. He even came with me to buy her a cute ‘Congratulations’ card and some adorable yellow booties for the baby. I haven’t given them to her yet but they’re gift wrapped and sitting on the stairs in Alex’s house.
Sighing, I try and refocus and force myself to look at the corkboard. The colours blur in front of my eyes and I blink frantically, looking away. I pick up my phone for the millionth time and I sigh again. No messages, no calls, no updates; nothing of interest to me.
Maybe this is why I can’t concentrate. Reluctantly I turn my phone off and place it to one side, out of sight and out of mind.
This is better, I think and try and read through the script again. The words merge into a long snake that slithers about the page and as quickly as my eyes dart after it they can’t seem to follow what’s being said by the characters.
Sighing, I throw the script back to the floor and bury my head in my hands. Suddenly, a warm wet nose is pushing into my hands and I look up to see a furry face beaming at me.
Alex’s dog Sparky keeps coming in to investigate, but even he offers no help. He wanders away from me and trots around the room happily, nose to the ground and tail wagging. He comes back over and I loop my arms around him and give him a hug.
He wags his tail harder because I’ve started stroking his head and I giggle, but then I feel the burn in my throat and I stop. The nausea is back again. My head is throbbing. My throat is burning. Alex is upstairs, working in his office.
He wouldn’t know. Not if I just had a small one.
He wouldn’t know.
I sigh again, and Sparky wanders away to chew on his bone, previously discarded on the floor. I look back at the corkboard, then the sticky notes, and then at the carpet. I realise I’m being ridiculous and making far too big a deal out of this.
Then suddenly, it comes to me that a productive way to start would be to put the post-it notes in chronological order of events.
Smiling at my bright idea, I place the post-it notes in order, referring to the script frequently to make sure I’m correct. Soon I’m done and I stop to admire my work. I check the clock. Only ten minutes has passed.
I groan out loud and fall backwards to the floor, covering my face with my hands.
I could just have a little one, really quickly. He wouldn’t notice. He wouldn’t know. The burn in my throat returns and I bite my lip, hoping to make it stop. I sit up and take a sip of the water that I’d brought in with me, but it doesn’t help.
The burn is still there.
I can’t concentrate. I look back up at the cork board and it’s just spinning, all the neon notes becoming a blinding kaleidoscope that attacks my mind. I stand to my feet and stumble around the living room, wrapping my trembling arms around myself.
Just a small one, he wouldn’t know, he’d never know. It’d be my little secret. I stumble out of the living room, falling into the kitchen. I close the door behind me and hear Sparky whine slightly at being shut out, but he quietens back down.
My eyes are burning, and I look around the kitchen for something to stop the pain in my body. My hands are trembling and I need something. I need something. I need it.
I’ve been good.
I haven’t had a drink in three days. I’ve done what Alex wanted me to, haven’t I?
I can have a drink now if I want to.
My hand reaches out towards the cupboard under the kitchen sink and the fragile cupboard door swings open. I crouch down, almost losing my balance because of the way my head spins and I clutch the work surface for stability.
There’s a small bottle of red wine.
If I just had a tiny sip, something just to ease the burn, he wouldn’t know. Alex wouldn’t know what I’d done. He’s upstairs.
My hand shakes as it reaches out towards the bottle. I sit on the floor and unscrew the lid, and slowly I bring the bottle up to my lips.
The fruity smell of the red wine drifts up my nostrils and my breath hitches in my throat. The burn eases, and my whole body begs for the crimson liquid so close yet so far away.
Without hesitation I take a small sip of the wine and shudder in the delicious way that is streams down my throat. The burn is instantly quenched and in relief I take another sip. I lean in for more, but before I can I stop.
There’s a knock at the front door.
Alex is coming down the stairs.
I gasp and fasten the lid back onto the wine as quickly I can. I get up from the floor and shove the wine bottle back underneath the cupboard, closing the door as quietly as I can.
“Karen!” I hear Alex call “Can you come through this way please?” He asks and I smooth myself down.
“Yeah, I’ll be there in just a minute!” I tell him and straighten myself out.
I’m not guilty. I did what he wanted. I stopped for three days. I was alright to have just a little drink.
I’m fine to have a drink.
I open the kitchen door and walk through it calmly. The burn has not returned yet but I know it will. I see Alex standing in the hallway and behind him there’s a woman.
“Alex, who’s this?” I ask him nervously.
“I’m Officer Granger, from the Police Department. I need to talk to you both regarding quite a serious allegation against Mr Floyd. May we talk sit down somewhere to talk?” The Police Officer asks us and Alex nods, showing her through to the living room.
He hangs back as she walks through, and I smile at him reassuringly. His face is so full of nerves it looks as if it will burst. I lean towards him for a kiss, and he accepts it gratefully.
When we pull away, he looks at my lips perplexedly, like they taste strange.
He doesn’t know. He couldn’t know from one kiss.
But he doesn’t have time to pursue it, because we have to go through into the living room to join Officer Granger, who’s sitting on one of the sofas. Alex and I perch ourselves on the other one. His fists are clenched and he’s nervous, as he’s begun to sweat. I cross my legs and smile sweetly at Officer Granger.
“What can we help you with Officer?” I ask her, but despite my positive voice she keeps the stern look on her face.
“A source has informed us that there may be an underage relationship occurring, in which may have been repeated sexual assault on a minor from Mr Floyd, and that he may be seeking both a romantic and sexual relationship with a student during his time as a teacher, abusing both his position of trust and his authority as a teacher” Officer Granger states, and both Alex and I lean back against the sofa, totally astounded.
“Who has alleged this?” I inquire, and the Police woman shakes her head.
“I am not at liberty to disclose such information” She tells us, and I nod my head. “Are you in a relationship with each other? What are your ages?” She asks us and I smile again.
“Yes, we are in a relationship, and I’m seventeen” I inform her. I look to Alex and smile at him. He clears his throat anxiously.
“I’m twenty four” Alex tells her, and I reach for his hand and squeeze it.
Officer Granger notes this down in her little police pad and if the situation weren’t so serious I’d be fawning over how cute police people are. She’s even got a little Police hat. “And have you ever taught-!” She pauses while she checks something on her pad “-Miss Karen Phillips, whilst you were a teacher?”
“I have” Alex replies and his grip on my hand tightens. I keep smiling at him, and look to Officer Granger, completely prepared to lie until I’m blue in the face to protect my relationship with Alex.
“And did you ever see Ms Phillips as a sexual object or have any sexual fantasies concerning Miss Phillips or any other students during your time as a teacher?” She asks and Alex shakes his head, looking too shocked to speak.
“Did Mr Floyd ever behave in a way inappropriate for a teacher or in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?”
I fight to hide the smirk that threatens to show. Now isn’t the time to be laughing, but thoughts of Mr Floyd and I during school come flooding back to me. I remember how he’d flirt, and how he’d try and act like a teacher but then completely give in to his feelings.
I remembered how jealous he’d get, like with Michael. And I remembered how he’d flirt and how his eyes would linger on me just a little bit longer than they should. And I remembered how angry he’d pretend to be if I misbehaved in his lesson.
***
There isn’t anything out of the ordinary. I’m sitting on my usual English table, colouring in the corner of the paper Mr Floyd had given us that we’re supposed to be writing on.
“Karen why aren’t you doing the work, are you like, sick or something?” Jamie asks, and I look up at her.
“I don’t understand the work. And I had my hand up for twenty minutes and he ignored me, so I’m not doing it” I tell her with a shrug, and she looks so shocked her gum threatens to fall out of her mouth.
“Karen” Mr Floyd finally wanders over and I try not to roll my eyes. I haven’t seen him after the events of yesterday with Michael, and I wonder if he’s forgotten what I’ve said “You haven’t done anything”
Judging by his annoyed tone, I’d say he’s forgotten.
“You wouldn’t help me” I point out and he crosses his arms “I had my hand up for like twenty minutes and you just didn’t come over”
“It’s true Sir!” Ron chips in “If this had of been the zombie apocalypse her arm would have been bitten off!”
“Fascinating Ron” Mr Floyd sighs, but turns his attention back to me “You haven’t even started”
“I didn’t know where to start” I argue and he raises his eyebrows.
“Don’t argue Karen, just get on with it” He tells me and walks off again. I scowl and swear at him under my breath, and pick up a pen and literally write a list of words that could relate to the topic. If he won’t help me why is he even a teacher?
More to the point, why am I stuck with him as my teacher?
I take back what I said yesterday. Mr Floyd sucks. From across the classroom, I hear my name being called and I turn around to see Sarah, a girl in the class, smiling at me.
“Hey can you throw me a marker pen? These have run out” She tells me and I nod, and pick up a spare pen on the table.
“Are you ready?” I ask her and she nods. I throw the pen, but to my horror I throw it with too much force and it nearly hits Sarah. “I’m so sorry! I did not mean for it to do that!” I apologise and she laughs, and picks up the pen from the floor.
“It’s fine!” She calls out cheerfully and I grin, but within seconds my sunny smile is stamped out by an evil cloud. I look up to see the shadow of Mr Floyd looming over me. I roll my eyes when I see him and I see him clench his fists.
“No throwing pens in class Karen!” He shouts and takes another look at my sheet “You still haven’t done the work! Stand outside now!”
For a few seconds, I stare at him in utter disbelief. Is he being serious? The scowl on his face remains adamant and I stand to my feet, and slowly walk past him.
His eyes meet mine and I look away indignantly. I close the classroom door behind me, and lean on the wall beside, my arms crossed.
I wait outside for a few minutes, and eventually the figure of Mr Floyd emerges from the classroom. I begin speaking before he's even properly looking.
"Look, it's not my fault I missed; I'm bad at throwing things. I blame it on not having a dog to throw a ball for as a child. Either way, this is an English lesson, not a PE lesson, so I shouldn't be punished for throwing a pen badly" I argue, thrusting my chin into the air to prove my point further somehow.
"Exactly, this is an English lesson, not a PE lesson you shouldn't be throwing pens at all!" Mr Floyd scolds me and I look at him.
“I didn’t mean to, Sarah asked me to throw her a pen and I did” I tell him, shuffling my feet and trying not to be embarrassed for being such a bad shot “Sarah laughed it off, I laughed, we all laughed” I explain but he keeps the frowning expression on his face.
“I’m not laughing” He argues and I pout.
"It was an accident. Sarah's fine!" I point out
"Yes but she could have been seriously injured!" Mr Floyd snaps suddenly, and I uncross my arms, jumping so my back is now against the wall again.
"Seriously what's stuck up your bum today?" I ask him and he growls.
"That's inappropriate Karen, detention" He punishes, and I fake a smile at him.
"Fantastic" I say bluntly and he lowers his eyes.
His fists are clenched and he refuses to look me in the eyes. I flick my hair over my shoulder and lower my eyes at him. I smirk.
"What's the matter there Sir?" I ask him, taking a small step towards him.
"That's close enough Karen" Mr Floyd announces, and I smile coyly. I can see he's nervous; the sweat on the palm of his hands is visible from here.
"Or not close enough. You just want to give me detention so you can spend an extra half an hour staring at me" I tell him boldly. I don't know what's come over me.
All the emotions from yesterday have returned and they've rushed to the surface and turned me into some kind of wild, lust driven being. I'm acting completely inappropriate.
And I love it.
"That's not true Karen. Stop this inappropriate behaviour now" Mr Floyd attempts to scold, but I laugh him off. I feel like a predator, toying with its prey before it devours it.
"I'm afraid I can't, Sir. But we'll cancel detention" I purr, straightening his tie that's quivering on his shirt. "We don't want you getting too hot under the collar now, do we?"
Mr Floyd swallows. But suddenly he straightens up, and leans forward, trapping me against the wall on one side using one arm. It wouldn't look suspicious to anyone else; merely a cross teacher scolding a student.
I flinch back when his arm hits the wall, but I push my chest forwards so I don't lose control, and I look like I’m still in control.
"I think you should stop messing with things you don't want to get involved with Karen" Mr Floyd murmurs.
"I want to be involved" I reply quickly, and he pushes himself away from the wall.
"Unlucky. Now get back inside the classroom" Mr Floyd tells me and I sigh, turning towards the classroom door. "Oh, and Karen?"
I stop, and turn around to look at Mr Floyd. For a second I see his eyes glint with something mischievous.
"Don't let it happen again" He warns, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Of course Sir, I wouldn't dream of it" I tell him, and I wander back inside the classroom, swaying my hips, knowing his eyes are watching.
***
“No, Officer, there was never anything like that. Mr Floyd- Alex and I only met up after I had left the school where he was teaching and he had left the teaching career. It was only by chance we bumped into each other, we were both in town and I’d just bought a coffee, and we stopped to say hello and we started talking. It was just one of those instant connections. Honestly I’m surprised I didn’t feel anything for him before. Although, English is my favourite subject and I was distracted by my exams and everything” I tell her, smiling at her.
“Well you are over the age of sixteen, and as far as I can see there isn’t any illegal behaviour going on. It’s strange, if I can say, but there’s nothing suspicious to me. Thank you for your time” Officer Granger stands to her feet and I get up to show her out, as judging by the look on Alex’s face he isn’t moving anywhere for a while.
“Of course Officer, it’s perfectly fine. Let me show you to the door” I tell her, and we walk out together into the hall. I reach out for the front door handle, but I stop.
“Officer, did you say this was a source? Had someone alleged something against Alex and me?” I ask her and she looks uncomfortable.
“I’m really not at liberty to say Miss Phillips, sorry” She apologises and I wrap my arms around myself.
“I know you can’t tell me who, but I know you can tell me if someone reported us” I persist and she sighs.
“Miss Phillips, someone did report you, and it’s my duty to follow it up. Now if you excuse me, I really must be going” She explains and I nod, opening the door for her.
“And I know it’s strange, the two of us, and the fact he used to teach me. I understand that it’s unusual. But I love him. And I really think he’s the one for me. I know I’m young and I’m saying that and honestly I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me. But there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. We’re in love, and the last time I checked love wasn’t a crime” I say as she steps out of the door. She stops to look at me.
“Well then Miss Phillips, I wish you the best of luck for the future. If what you say is true, well, you’re an extremely lucky girl. Good day now” Officer Granger explains with a wistful smile, and she walks down the front path to her police car. I close the door.
Leaning against the back, I release a long sigh, and take some deep breaths.
I make my way back into the living room and sit beside Alex on the couch. He doesn’t look at me, and I lean back against the sofa staring at the ceiling, just processing what’s just happened.
“Someone reported us. I don’t know who, she wouldn’t tell me” I say. I don’t understand who would do this. Why would someone do this? I don’t understand why it’s any of their business.
There’s a pregnant pause. I know Alex wants to say something, and I know he’s working up the nerve to do so.
“You lied to her” Alex finally states, and I turn my head to look at him.
He doesn’t look at me though. He’s staring forwards, sitting on the edge of the sofa, elbows resting on his thighs and his head in his hands.
“You lied to her, a Police Officer” He repeats and I take a deep breath.
“I had to” I tell him and he looks at me.
“We’re a crime, Karen. We’re illegal and wrong and whoever reported us knows that. You lied to her, about how we met. What does that say about our relationship? We’re a sham” He lamented, and I swallowed a lump in my throat I wasn’t aware had formed until now.
“What that says about our relationship is that-!” I pause, before continuing “That I love you, more than anything on this Earth, and that I will do anything to protect you and to protect us. I know it’s hard, that we have to lie about how we got together. But that makes the real story even more special, that only we know. And don’t start this about us being a crime and being wrong, because I know you’re lying. You love me Alex, how can that be wrong?” I confess, and I hold his gaze for a few precious seconds before he drops his head to the floor.
“Because a Police Officer was just in the house Karen, asking us questions and investigating our relationship, because someone had reported us for being in a relationship. It’s illegal Karen! I- I just-, I just can’t right now” Alex gets to his feet, and walks out of the room.
I leap to my feet and follow him, and find him leaning against the worktop. Sparky is lying on Alex’s feet, looking up at his master with big sad eyes. My heart stops when I realise the cupboard that contains the wine has its door open, as a kitchen towel has dropped down from the work top and stopped the cupboard door from closing.
My heart stops when I see his hand reach for the tea towel.
“What the...?” He trails off as he opens the cupboard, and his hand immediately reaches for the wine. What was half full now has now less than a quarter left in the bottom.
I hadn’t realised I’d drunk so much.
“Karen... I asked you not to... I don’t understand...” Alex trails off, looking at me with a broken expression. My cheeks are flaming scarlet and I don’t know what to say.
“Alex... It was only today, just a small drink, honestly, I-!” I begin trying to explain but Alex sets the wine down on the side and walks out of the kitchen. I rush after him into the hallway, and he’s already halfway up the stairs. “Alex, please wait, I can explain!”
“No Karen...” Alex says. His face is broken and crushed, and I stare at him with wide eyes. “You lied and I asked you not to drink and you did... Karen”
“Alex please, just let me explain...” I offer but he shakes his head wearily.
“No Karen... I... I think you should go” Alex says, and he walks upstairs, leaving me alone in the hall. I look around the empty hallway, and I realise that maybe he’s right. I pack my bag, including Gene’s script, and I put my shoes on.
I pat Sparky on the head and I walk out of the house, closing the door quietly behind me.
I walk back to my apartment slowly, and I sigh as I walk. I leave my headphones out of my ears, and within twenty minutes I make it to my apartment. I stand outside the door, fumbling for my keys, when I hear voices inside, muffled and low. I pause for a moment, but go inside regardless.
On the sofa is Tessa, with Aria cuddling her. I take a few slow steps inside and look at the mess the apartment is in. “What’s happened?” I ask, and I realise Tessa has been crying.
“He left me” She sobs “Ed left me”
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OOOOOOH CLIFFHANGER :O im sorry for the long wait guys im doing a lot of exams so I don't have a lot of time free:/ but heres the new chapter!
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I LOVE YOU ALL :D
ill try and update soon :') love you all, please keep reading!
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