“I think you look better with make-up on.”
Excuse me?
“But you said makeup was too cakey on me, and you preferred the natural look,” you questioned your boyfriend.
“Yeah, I said to go for a more natural look, as in natural makeup. You know, like that chick over there. She’s hot,” he winked at her.
You were baffled. He was your boyfriend, yet he was flirting with other girls in front of you. To be honest, he wasn’t the best boyfriend anyone could wish for. He was late to dates, hung out with the wrong crowd of people, and he made you feel insecure about yourself. Although you put up a tough facade whenever you were with him and acted like everything was fine when he deprecated you, your heart was aching on the inside. You constantly asked yourself “Why am I so ugly? So unlikable? So useless?” At one point he made you feel so self-conscious that you considered breaking up with him. However, he pulled you back, whispering sweet words in your ears and hugging you soothingly. You were smitten all over again.
“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind,” you smiled fakely.
“Oh yeah. The boys and I are having a dude’s night out. So I’m gonna push our date back a day. Is that alright with you?” he said, swinging an arm roughly around your shoulders.
You sighed under your breath, “Of course, go have fun with them.”
“Cool babe,” he kissed your cheek.
Yeah, cool.
~
You waved your hand at Seungmin brightly, motioning him to sit next to you. He quickly walked towards you with a pile of books in his arms and plopped them on the desk.
“So, I’ve been studying all week for the final, and I think I’m confident that I’m gonna ace it this time,” he sat down next to you, arranging the books in the order of his schedule.
You laughed at your friend’s preppiness, “When do you not do well on exams? You’re legit the top five percent in our school.” He was indeed very smart. Seungmin wasn’t one of those kids who were born brilliant. He actually had to work hard to improve his grades, but in the end, he efforts always paid off.
“Same with you. You always get good grades as well. What’s your secret?” he leaned closer towards you.
You shifted closer and whispered, “Not telling you.”
Suddenly, a loud hand slammed onto your desk, making you jolt.
“Why are you flirting with another guy?” your boyfriend questioned loudly. The whole class stared over to see what all the commotion was.
You gave him a judging look, “I was telling him something. I wasn’t flirting with him.” Your boyfriend was being freaking ridiculous.
He says I’m flirting when he was the one winking at that chick down the hallway. What a fucking joke.
“I saw you with him. You guys were laughing and flirting with one another. Don’t think I didn’t see that,” he claimed, glaring at you and Seungmin.
“You know what? I’m sick of this, and I’m sick of you,” you grabbed your bag and walked out of the classroom. You ran into the girl’s bathroom and locked yourself in one of the stalls.
You put down the toilet cover and sat on it, letting the tears flow. This wasn’t the first time the both of you had gotten into an argument. It was a repeating cycle. You guys fight, he apologizes, and you forgive him.
~
“You alright?” Seungmin asked you with a worried expression written on his face.
You smiled sadly, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Your eyes were puffy, and there were streaks of tears on your cheeks.
He sighed and slammed his pencil on the table, “No, you’re clearly not fine. I’ve been your friend long enough to know what ‘fine’ is. This isn’t it.”
You looked down at the ground, not wanting to face him. He was right. It was funny how he could read you better than your boyfriend could.
“I hate how every time he makes you cry, you bottle it all in, and act like you’re completely fine the next day. I don’t even know why you’re with him. What do you even see in him? Is he even treating you right?” he ranted.
“I don’t know,” you mumbled, “I don’t know anymore.”
“You deserve so much better than him Y/n.”
“But I love him.”
Seungmin’s grip his pencil tightened, “Do you really?”
Do I really love him?
~
Ding dong.
“Coming!” you slipped on your slippers and lowered the volume on the T.V. You opened the door slowly and saw your boyfriend outside your house.
“I thought you were with the guys. What are you doing here?” you answered coldly.
“So uh, I wanted to apologize for earlier,” he pulled you in for a hug. You sensed the insincerity and shoved him away harshly.
“No. Sorry doesn’t cut it this time. You’ve screwed up way too many times,” you spat.
Your boyfriend was shocked at your sudden outburst, “What do you mean? You love me right?” He tried pulling you in a hug again.
You pushed him away roughly, making him stumble on your doorstep, “Actually, no. I don’t love you. Why would I love someone who treats me like absolute crap? You accuse me of flirting when you’re the one hooking up with girls behind my back. You think I didn’t notice? I am seriously that stupid to you?”
“No babe, let me explain-” he started, but you cut him off abruptly.
“What is there to explain? Were you doing CPR? Because she seems awfully fine to me. I’m done with your shit. Go find someone else who can tolerate your shady ass,” you slammed the door in his face.
Your boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, stood there dumbfounded. He scoffed and walked away.
You slid down and crouched behind the door, suppressing the tears with the palms of your hands. You finally did it, you broke it off with the jerk. You felt like the weight had lifted off your shoulders, but why did you feel so empty, so alone? You rubbed the sides of your temples. All of this was giving you a headache.
You sniffled and checked your phone. Seungmin had texted you.
nerd: hey im sorry for earlier i was rude
You chuckled and texted him back. Seungmin always apologized for the smallest things.
y/n: dw I broke up with him already
nerd: what??? you did?
y/n: yea… are you free rn? i kinda need to get shit off my head
nerd: cafe down the block?
y/n: sounds great
~
“Hey, I got you a caramel macchiato, cuz I didn’t know what you’d like. Is this okay with you? If not I’ll switch it,” he greeted you as soon as you walked in the cafe.
You pulled out your chair and sat in front of him, “No, no. That’s fine. I like me a good macchiato. Thanks.”
Seungmin leaned closer, “So what’s wrong?”
You sipped on your warm drink to defrost your hands from the cold, “I broke it off when he came to apologize. He gave me the driest, most superficial apology ever. I just couldn’t stand it anymore, so I called him out.”
Seungmin smiled a bit, “Do you feel better now that you’ve broken it off?”
“Yeah, I mean I won’t have anyone to criticize me whether I’m wearing makeup or not. Or compare me to other girls, and make me feel like complete shit,” you said. You regretted staying with him for so long.
“Now you realize. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this entire time. He’s not good for you. If he constantly points out your flaws, then he isn’t right for you,” he explained.
You looked apologetic, “I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. I think I was just too immersed in the thought of him when in reality, he was just a complete asshole. I liked the thought of having someone, but I don’t like him.”
Seungmin raised a brow and looked out the window while sipping his latte. Your feet shuffled nervously under the table.
“You can say ‘I told you so’ and rub it in my face. Go ahead. Be mean for once, I deserve it. And I also want to apologize for dragging you in this shit,” you fiddled with your fingers nervously.
Seungmin chuckled lightly, “Y/n, I’m not gonna rub it in your face. I think you feel bad enough. As long as you know who’s right for you and who’s not, that’s what matters.”
You reached across the table to squish his cheeks, “You’re so cute! Whoever snatches you will be the luckiest person in the world.”
“Your hands are so cold. Here take my heat pack,” he handed you the warm pack.
“Thanks. I need someone like you. Someone’s who attentive and caring. Someone who doesn’t deteriorate my self confidence, “ you huffed, crossing your arms playfully.
Seungmin glanced down on his lap and mumbled quietly, “How bout me?”
“Hm what did you say?” you cocked your head forward.
He sighed and spoke louder, “I asked, how about me?”
“Wait what?”
“Are you deaf, Y/n? I give up,” he slumped down on his chair.
You grabbed his arm across the table, “Wait you’re serious?” You tried to hold your smile but the sides of your lips were rising slowly despite your efforts. Your heart was beating quickly.
“No I’m being sarcastic. Yes of course I’m serious! Does it look like I kid around often,” he spilled.
You ran your fingers through your hair, “I just didn’t think I was your type. I’m usually kinda straightforward, and sometimes I come off as rude. But you, you’re so kind and understanding.”
“Although you may be straightforward, you’re so true to yourself. You state what you like, and what you don’t like. I like how you don’t sugarcoat things to make me feel better. Like that essay of mine you graded. You were the only one to comment and point out all of my analysis errors. Everyone else was too afraid because I was the model student. You bring out the best in me. I thought you should know that,” he said shyly.
You teared up a bit. No one has ever said that about you. This guy in front of you truly cherishes you as a person, regardless of what you wore or how you presented yourself. And you should cherish him in return.
“Y/n, will you give me a chance? I know you just got out of a relationship but-”
“Yes I’ll give you a chance,” you beamed.
Seungmin’s face perked up cutely. He held your hand across the table and smiled brightly.
“I guess I didn’t need the heat pack after all.”