"You out?" Daryl asked.
We exited the cars and I found myself shivering. The bags Ryan and Abby packed unfortunately didn't contain a jacket. My shirt will have to be enough for now.
"Running on fumes." Rick said.
"We can't stay here." Maggie said.
Where can we even go? No transport, no food, no shelter and basically nothing except each other. That sounds beautifully tragic and way more positive than it should be.
"We can't all fit in two cars." Glenn pointed out.
Well, if a lot of people sit in each other's laps then it's possible. Not very comfortable and very awkward but manageable. We should rest though. There's no use in running if we don't even know where we're running to.
"We'll have to make a run for more gas in the morning." Rick said.
I crossed my hands over my chest as I tried to hide the fact that I was trembling because of how cold it was. The herd couldn't have picked a better time to attack the farm. It'll be way too cold to stay outside soon.
"Spend the night here?" Carol asked.
We can't go back to the farm, we can't go to the highway, the town was overrun anyway. There is nowhere else to go except here. We'll find a few nice bushes to sleep in and it'll all be fine.
"I'm freezing." Carl said.
I know how that feels, kid. This could go on for a while. I turned around letting their voices fade as I made my way to the car. All they'll do is argue about where to go and what to do. I'm out of ideas and interest.
Rick hasn't killed us yet so I'm betting my money on him. At first, I was sceptical of him and his morals. Don't get me wrong, I still hate the way he looks at the world. But he's gotten us this far. And hell, we aren't dead yet. Well not all of us.
I opened one of the bags and rummaged through it. Ugh, the warmest thing in here is a damn pink sweater.
Regretting my decision immediately, I put it on feeling a little warmer than before. I closed my bag and unzipped Ryan's. I found an extra jacket, in case someone needs it.
"We're all infected."
I froze just as I reached the group again. I think I'm hearing things because I just heard Rick say we were infected.
That's not possible. If we were infected, we'd have a fever then we'd die and come back as a walker. That's how the virus works.
"At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it." Rick explained.
He knew all this time and he didn't tell us? I thought we concluded that keeping important things from the group was never a smart move.
If we knew about this, we could've done things differently or at least thought differently.
"And you never said anything?" Carol accused Rick.
I handed Carl the jacket I found. His eyes lit up at the sight of it and Lori helped him put it on. She nodded at me in thanks.
Next time, perhaps she'll even use words or acknowledge my contribution to this group. A girl can dream.
"Would it have made a difference?" Rick asked.
I thought about everything that we went through after CDC. In a way, it wouldn't have changed the important events. Our mindset and the way we did things could've been different though. At least we would've known the truth.
"You knew this whole time?" Glenn asked.
An accusatory tone filled his voice and I knew why. He was so nervous when telling us about the barn and Maggie was angry at him because of it. He risked a lot just to tell the truth and now he found out that Rick didn't do the same.
"How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that-"
"That is not your call. Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told for the good of everyone." Glenn argued.
Maybe he shouldn't have said that in front of the people who hated us for clearing the barn.
I mean, Hershel was very close to kicking us off his farm so I wouldn't bring up the topic if I were him. This is not the best time to open old wounds.
"Well I thought it best if people didn't know." Rick retorted.
------
I stood next to the fire hearing people panic over a rustle in the woods. Abby's head laid in my lap as I leaned mine against Ryan's shoulder. Everyone was freaking out while I thought about everything that had happened.
Abby got up and Ryan did the same. A sigh left my lips as I got up and gripped my knife. All I wanted was to rest and to move past this.
So we're stuck here with no supplies and no ammo, so what? We've been here before and we handled it.
"No one is going anywhere." Rick said.
I looked up at the sound of his stern voice. My eyes narrowed at the look in his eyes. There was something different about him now.
A newfound anger and determination that wasn't there before. I've never seen him act out like this.
"Do something." Carol demanded.
She said it through gritted teeth. It's funny how losing everything could change people in mere hours. Before, Carol could never imagine raising her voice at Rick nor anybody in this group.
"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along no matter what. I didn't ask for this! I killed my best friend for you people for God's sake!" Rick exclaimed.
My eyes widened as I inhaled sharply at the truth. So that's it. The thing that made him so on edge, so angry. He killed Shane.
A man he considered to be his brother. It finally made sense why he snapped like this.
"You saw what he was like, how he pushed me. How he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out so he could put a bullet in my back, he gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean. Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead, I say there's a place for us, but maybe that's just another pipe dream. Maybe-maybe I'm fooling myself again. Wh-why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Well go on, there's the door. You can do better, let's see how far you get. No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight, you're staying? This isn't a democracy anymore." Rick stated.
I watched as he walked away before deciding to follow. Most people would stay as far away as possible from Rick right now. But he had to know I knew about Shane. Well the Randall part, at least. He glanced at me as I joined him on the road.
It was dark and cold, but there was light from the fire so we could see the group yet they couldn't see us. I hesitated at speaking and I found myself perplexed as to why.
"You've been awfully quiet since the farm." Rick commented.
His voice still had the stern tone that he used on the group. I took a deep breath trying to process everything that has happened.
Daryl, my siblings, the group. For a second, I let myself get carried away with what I wanted instead of protecting my family.
I leaped into that walker herd for some man that I slept with. How stupid is that? We're not together. Sure, I like him and I think that he's a good guy. But he distracted me and I almost lost my family because I let emotions get in the way.
Dakota let her feelings for Merle take over and she left us. I can't let that happen to me. Abby and Ryan have already gone through this. A sister choosing a man over them.
I feel stupid for doing what I did and it makes me wonder if it'll come to that again.
"I knew about Randall. Ever since Shane showed up out of the woods with a bloody nose, I knew he was staging the whole Randall thing. I didn't say anything because I wanted the Randall problem to be solved. But I didn't know he was going to try and kill you." I explained.
Rick furrowed his eyebrows upon listening to me. I respected Rick as a leader. Sure, I disagreed with him and his opinions but he was a good man who saved our lives so many times. Even now, when everyone thinks he's a bad guy, I know he did what he had to do.
"Why are you telling me this now? It's not your fault that Shane tried to kill me nor that I killed him. You know that, right?" Rick inquired.
I bit my lip and nodded. I didn't blame myself for what happened. I'm glad Shane is dead and that the Randall problem is solved. The problem is that I think I should've spoken up about it. Rick deserved to know, the group deserved to know.
"I don't feel guilty, Ranger Rick, I rarely do. I hated Shane and I hated Randall. I just needed you to know that it wasn't your fault either. You did what you had to do to protect your family... Just don't tell anyone I gave you a pep talk. It would ruin my reputation forever." I retorted.
An involuntary smile tugged at Rick's lips and I couldn't help smirking at him. There he is. As much as I like dictator Rick, this one is way easier to tease. It's not easy having the weight of the world on your shoulders.
"Your secret is safe with me." He told me.
I looked at him with that same smirk planted on my face. His smile wavered as he looked back at the group.
It was odd watching him worry about everything. His hand pulled out his gun and he held it out for me. My eyebrows furrowed at the action.
"Your gun." I commented.
It was the same one that he tossed at me, back at camp outside Atlanta. Then once he realized I still had it, he took it away claiming it belonged to him.
I liked having that gun, it made me feel safer. More capable of defending myself.
"No. Your gun." He corrected.
He took hold of my hand and pressed the gun into it. My fingers wrapped around it as a smile spread on my face. It was then that I noticed that Rick hasn't let go of my hand. I looked up to see him looking at me not even noticing that he hasn't let go.
My breath hitched as I realized we were way closer than I anticipated. There was something about the way his eyes shone in the dark, barely even recognizable. Perhaps that's why we both leaned in and connected our lips.
It wasn't like with Daryl. That was pure lust and need. This was too gentle, too hesitant. Maybe that's why my heart skipped a beat while kissing him. We both pulled away and looked at each other in silence.
Both of our faces were filled with surprise over what we just did. I stepped back while clearing my throat and Rick looked down rubbing the back of his neck.
"I didn't mean to-"
"We shouldn't have-"
We both got silent after that nodding in agreement. My head was spinning from what I just I did, what we did. I don't like him like that and he doesn't like me like that.
God, he has a pregnant wife and a kid. We shouldn't have done this. Hell, I don't even know why we did.
"I, uh, I should get back to the group. Thank you for the gun." I mumbled.
He merely nodded as I walked towards the fire trying not to run. That was so stupid of us. We don't like each other like that, we just don't. I like Daryl, that much I know. Rick and I are only group members, colleagues really.
I sat down next to Ryan inhaling deeply. My eyes couldn't help, but flicker over to Daryl who was looking at the fire. What were we?
Was I ever going to get a proper answer to that? I glanced at Rick who had his back to me. What did that mean for us? Are we going to be okay with each other?
I looked at the fire as Abby put her head in my lap again and I brushed a strand of her hair away from her face. My head found its way to Ryan's shoulder again. I guess none of it really matters.
My family is the only thing that matters. I can't lose sight of that. Not again.
End of season 2
An:
Hi, guys. We're about to get into season 3 (aka I'm almost done rewriting and can continue writing normally)! I wanted to know your thoughts so far on the story.
Do you like/dislike Josephine? Do you think she'll change for the better or for worse? Daryl or Rick 😏?
There is so much that I want to write, but I'm wondering if ten seasons are a lot? Would you guys even follow the story for that long?
Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed the story so far and I'll see you soon in season 3 😊.