Excuse any mistakes or grammatical errors.
Raquel
Christmas Day was finally here and I was both excited and nervous about giving Malaya her gift. I was going to wait until tonight to give it to her because it was really special to me and I knew I was going to get all sappy while giving it to her, so I want to avoid putting her on the spot. It's not guaranteed that she'll like it, so I'm also trying to keep my possible embarrassment and rejection private. God, I hope she likes it.
I know we just got together, but I really love Malaya. There's no speed limit on the highway of love. I'm sorry for being so corny, but it's the truth. I've known Malaya for three years and I never would have thought I'd be her girlfriend. If love can turn the girl that once hated you (even though she says she never did) into the love of your life, who's to say it can't develop at the speed of a wildfire? Is there even a such thing as falling too fast when it's with a person that makes your heart race just by the thought of them?
I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted millenniums with Malaya. We're too old to hop into a relationship that we only expect to be temporary. Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead, but when I think about my future, I can't see one without her in it. I can't even see a tomorrow without her in it. I want her there with me for everyday until I take my last breath. What's wrong with being sure about someone?
Malaya and I had just finished helping my mother set the table. My other family members were supposed to be coming in an hour or so. I was looking forward to seeing them since I hadn't spent a Christmas at home since I started college. All my family members knew that I liked girls so I wasn't nervous about them meeting Malaya. It also helps that she's awesome.
The only thing I was nervous about was giving her the gift I got her.
"I hate this sweater so fucking much."
Malaya was standing in my full length mirror with a disgusted look on her face.
I walked over to the mirror and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind.
"What's wrong with it?" I asked, letting my chin rest on her shoulder.
"It's ugly." She grumbled.
"That's sort of the point." I pointed out.
Malaya's reflection glared at me and I just chuckled before placing a kiss on her exposed neck. She was wearing her hair up in a curly bun and I couldn't help but take advantage of that.
"You better not leave a mark." She spoke in a warning tone when I found a spot I liked.
I ignored my girlfriend and continued to suck and bite at the spot on her neck. She moaned and tilted her head back to give me more access causing me to laugh.
"I left a mark." I said tilting her head up so she could see her hickey in the mirror.
"I hate you so much."
Malaya turned around so we were face to face.
"No you don't." I spoke confidently as I pulled her closer to me by her waist.
She wrapped her arms around my neck before responding. "I do."
"May I now kiss the bride?" I asked being corny as usual, but it's okay because I made my girlfriend laugh.
"What is up with you and marriage?" Malaya chuckled. "First the wedding ring and now this? Geez woman, slow down."
I knew Malaya was joking, but her words made me a little more nervous about her gift. What if she didn't accept it?
"Tell that to my heart."
She narrowed her eyes at my response.
"Thinking that far ahead doesn't scare you?" She asked and I could tell our conversation had gone from playful to serious.
"What's so scary about spending the rest of my life with the person I love?" I answered my girlfriend's question with a question of my own.
"The in between that it takes to get there." She answered. "We don't know what's going to happen some months from now, or even tomorrow. Trust me, every part of me wants this to last, but sometimes things don't always go as we want them."
I let my arms fall from around Malaya's waist. She was being realistic. I know that, but that didn't stop that stupid feeling of disappointment from settling in my stomach. Maybe I was a little too optimistic, but it was hard not to be when I had this beautiful girl standing right in front of me. This girl that I couldn't picture my life without. This woman, rather. I was in love with her. I fell fast and hard, but so what? That doesn't make this any less real. It doesn't determine how long it will last.
"You're right, we can't see the future, but when I think about it and I picture it in my head, you're there. Days, months, even years from now, you're there." I spoke without letting my eyes leave Malaya's. "I may not know what's going to happen tomorrow or the next day, but I know that I'm going to love you everyday for as long I get to see the day. I don't need to see the future to know that there won't be a day that comes that I won't be in love with you. What part of millenniums don't you understand?"
Malaya looked like she was lost for words and her silence confirmed it. I gently cupped her face in my hands.
"I was only joking about all that marriage stuff, so you can stop freaking out so much." I informed her. "But, you should know that I don't see you as a temporary part of my life and I don't see this as a temporary relationship. It won't be tomorrow or the next day and it probably won't even happen a year or so from now, but one day, unless you beat me to it, I'm going to ask you to marry me and I'm going to expect you to say yes because right now, I'm under the impression that you love me as much as I love you and I love you that much."
Malaya still didn't speak, so I continued pouring my heart out to her.
"And yes, that terrifies me, not because of any doubts because I don't have any, but it's terrifyingly overwhelming to love someone this much because I'm convinced that my heart could explode at any moment due to trying to contain all of the love I have for you."
"Raquel, I-" Malaya started to speak, but she paused to gather her thoughts, I'm assuming.
"You don't have to say anything. You're just being realistic." I forced a smile.
My girlfriend still seemed to be struggling with her words, so I figured changing the subject would be best.
"Let's go downstairs." I said taking her hand and trying to pull her out of my room, but she wouldn't move.
"No." Malaya refused. "I'm sorry that I can't come up with a response to everything you just said to me, but I don't think anything would suffice."
"I already told you; you didn't have to say anything."
"But I do." She sighed. "I can't let you think I don't see a future with you because I do. Do I think as far ahead as you do? No. I don't like thinking that far ahead because I don't want to jinx anything. I think about the moments I spend with you in those moments. Like now. I'm thinking about now and how to not sound like an idiot while explaining that to you."
I couldn't help, but to laugh because I found my girlfriend's struggle to find the right words to be quite amusing. She was obviously nervous and her cheeks were flushed due to what I'm assuming was embarrassment from feeling put on the spot.
"Of course. I'm failing miserably at not sounding like an idiot." She spoke mistaking the reason for my laughter.
"You don't sound like an idiot." I assured her. "I get what you're saying. If we spend all of our days focused on tomorrow, how will we ever enjoy the day?"
Malaya groaned. "Why do you always have to be so poetic? This is why I never know how to respond to the things you say."
"You don't have to come up with something poetic or clever for it to mean something. I only want to know how you feel. I swear to you, all I ever do is tell you what you make me feel. You make me this way."
Malaya gave me a look of endearment before basically throwing herself into my arms. Her lips connected with mine and we shared a kiss that was full of so many things that I had trouble interpreting them. However, two stood out: love and lust.
I wrapped my arms around her waist, bringing her closer to me as our lips worked together. Malaya's fingers slip through my curls just as her tongue slipped into my mouth. We both moaned as we fought for dominance.
A knock on my bedroom door ruined the moment causing me to groan and my girlfriend to chuckle.
"We can pick this up later." She spoke before pecking my lips and then opening the door.
"Mom wants you two to come down stairs."
Gio was standing in my doorway and I felt guilty for the urge I had to murder him. I'm sorry, but he ruined such a great moment between Malaya and me. She's never kissed me like that before.
"We'll be down in a second." I told him before closing the door in his face.
That got me a slap on the arm from my girlfriend.
"Stop being mean to him." She scolded me before reopening the door.
My brother was still standing there with this sad look on his face, but I knew he was only doing it because he knew Malaya pitied him. Little shit.
"Aw, look at his face, Raquel." She spoke with a sympathetic look. "Apologize."
"But he-"
"Apologize."
"I'm sorry for being rude to you." I reluctantly did as my girlfriend told me to.
"Sure you are." Gio narrowed his eyes at me before walking away.
"You do realize that he's been sad all break because of the stuff with his girlfriend, right?"
I frowned at my girlfriend because I didn't notice that my brother was sad. He seemed fine to me.
"No." I admitted. "I didn't notice."
Malaya gave me a disappointed look. "How could you not have noticed? He's barely spoken since that dinner. He hasn't joked around like he usually does and he doesn't smile either. Your brother's really sensitive and you obviously don't notice it, but it hurts his feelings when you're rude to him. I don't know if you think he's pretending to be sad because he knows I'll defend him or what, but I can assure you that the boy that just left from up here is a genuinely saddened one."
My girlfriend's a fucking mindreader.
I took in Malaya's words and started to feel bad because Gio hadn't been annoying me like usual and that should have worried me because he is the king of annoying me.
"Dammit." I muttered to myself before pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Talk to him when you get the chance." Malaya told me before taking a step in the direction of the staircase.
"Wait." I stopped her and she turned back around to face me.
"How did you notice?"
"A sudden change in someone's normal behavior is either a sign of growth or a problem. I think your brother....no, I know your brother has a problem. It's not anything too major, but I'm sure it would help if he could talk to someone about it." Malaya informed me.
I just looked at her because she was a lot more intuitive than I thought she was.
"We need to get downstairs, so if you're just going to stare at me-" She didn't finish her sentence before turning back around and heading for the stairs. I just followed her because I didn't really know what else to say.
-
Within an hour of us going downstairs, all of my family members had arrived. My little cousins were running around like little chickens with their heads cut off while the adults sat around having conversations about any and everything. Malaya and I were talking with my older brothers.
My brothers were doing their best to embarrass me and it was working tremendously.
"Then our grandmother made her put pee in her eye. It was-"
"That's enough. I cut my brother off."
This was going to be a long day if my brothers spent it trying to make me look like more of a dork than I already was in front of my girlfriend.
Jayla
It was Christmas Day and reality was hitting me harder than normal. Right when I woke up, I was hit with a wave of sadness because no matter how messed up my mom was, she'd always wake me up on Christmas morning so we could have breakfast together. She always had a gift of some sort for me despite how poor we were some years.
I was never a big fan of holidays because I knew we would never have it like other families did. The Christmas tree and all the decorations was something I never experienced. Our family treated us like outsiders so there was never a big family dinner or anything.
It was just my mom and me. She would always be clean around Christmas and if she wasn't, she sure as hell acted like it. She did it for me and I didn't realize how much I took it for granted until I didn't have it anymore. I didn't want to enjoy this day with Dani's family because I felt guilty.
Why should I get to be happy today when my mother can't? I couldn't be happy even if I tried.
"Merry Christmas, Grey Eyes."
Aniya came into my room without knocking like Dani often did. I would have expected it to be Dani anyway, but then again, Nadia is here, so she sort of put me on the back burner. I'm not complaining though. Nadia doesn't like feeling like she's coming in second to anyone. She made that very clear when we were together and when things were good between us, I didn't want to spend any time away from her.
"What's so Merry about it?" I asked bitterly.
I sat up so my back rested against my headboard. I really wasn't planning on leaving my room unless it was for food.
"Well, I personally have always loved holidays." Aniya spoke before sitting at the foot of my bed. "The holidays forced my parents to be nice to me because otherwise, everyone would know how terrible they really were. Of course at the time I didn't think that much in to it. I was a kid and I just wanted my parents to love me. During the holidays, it seemed like they did."
I didn't really know much about the whole situation with Aniya, but I did know that the "parents" she was referring to were her adoptive parents. The man she thought was her dad is really her uncle and the woman she thought was her mother has no blood relation to her. I also knew that they were abusive.
We've had no choice, but to spend a lot of time together since Dani and Nadia have been attached at the hip and Mya is out of the picture. Well, she's out of my picture.
She really played my dumbass. I wasn't mad at first, but once I let that shit marinate I realized how fucked up it was. She was fucking her ex behind my back, but she made it very clear that she'd beat my ass and the girl's ass if I tried fucking around on her and we weren't even together. She told me that I couldn't my do "single shit" while we were talking yet she was out doing hoe shit. Yeah, I kissed Aniya, but damn. If I would have known Mya was fucking her ex I would have been fucking with Aniya from the jump.
That doesn't even matter anymore though. Mya's happy and despite everything, I could never shit on someone's happiness. We all deserve happiness. Even if we have to step on some toes to get it.
Anyway, back to Aniya and me. Like I said, we've been spending a lot of time together, so it was only a matter of time before we talked about personal stuff.
I didn't make the mistake of opening up to Aniya the way I did with Mya. She really didn't deserve to know that much about me. God, now I'm even more mad at her ass. She knows all this shit about me. I exposed myself to her and all she wanted to do was expose her pussy to her whack ass ex. I should fight both those hoes. Nah, let me chill. Even after everything, I couldn't hurt her. Her ex though, that bitch can catch this fade.
Unlike with Mya, there aren't any romantic feelings involved with Aniya. We've agreed to keep our "thing" strictly physical. We aren't committing to each other or anything. She can do her own thing and I'll do mine.
We have become friends though. I like talking to her and being around her. She can be annoying, but she's funny and she's easy to talk to. She's not judgmental at all and I'm so grateful for that. I know I could tell her anything and she wouldn't judge me, but I don't want to do that. The more you give of yourself to someone, the harder it is not to feel connected to them. Opening up completely creates strings and "no strings attached" can't really work if there are strings.
She knows enough about me and I know enough about her.
"I never really liked the holidays. Christmas is the one I looked forward to. I loved my mother a little more during the holidays because she didn't get too high and drunk to function around that time. Even if she wasn't, she always seemed clean. The older I got, the less gifts and stuff mattered to me because I understood that not only is that not what Christmas is about, but we also just didn't have it like that. But I had her and now I don't, so I officially hate this holiday."
I missed my mother, so much. I tried not thinking about her too much because her absence still hurt, but I couldn't not think about her today.
"I thought we agreed that crying in front of each other was against the rules. Now I'm forced to make physical contact with you that doesn't involve casual sex."
I hadn't even realized I was crying. I hate crying. Aniya moved from her spot on the bed and got beside me. She had to get on my right side since her right hand was still messed up. She let her legs disappear beneath my comforter before wrapping her left arm around me and pulling my head into her chest.
I didn't feel like protesting and I didn't want to. I didn't mind being held. It also helped that she smelled really good. I couldn't pinpoint the smell, but it was heavenly.
I took advantage of the situation and wrapped my arms around the girl's waist before snuggling further into her chest.
"Even if crying wasn't against the rules, you still shouldn't do it." The girl spoke, wrapping her good arm around me a little more. "You're way too pretty for all that shit."
I was grateful for the fact that Aniya couldn't see my face because I could feel myself blushing. She was the only person that called me pretty and it made me feel all weird and tingly every time.
I wasn't crying anymore, but I didn't wan't to move from the position I was in, so I just laid their in Aniya's arms. Well, her arm.
We didn't move or speak for a while, but Aniya broke the silence.
"Your hair's grown since Thanksgiving." The girl spoke and I nodded my head.
"I brushed my waves out to see how long it was. I'm gonna let it grow out." I told the girl.
When I first got my hair cut, it wasn't because I wanted to. I did it to make myself unattractive to males. It didn't even work though because boys were constantly trying to tell me that they could "turn me back into a girl" as if I ever stopped being one.
After a while, I just got comfortable with the change I made, so I kept getting haircuts and buying boy's clothes. That's why I was always getting called a stud, but I never liked labels. And besides, I'm not a stud. I'm a tomboy without a doubt. But I don't always feel the need to be the "masculine" one in my relationships. I'm basically a bottom in top's clothing. Well, I'm more verse, but all I'm saying is I don't fit the description of a stud, mentality wise. It's literally just clothes, so why do I have to be labeled for it?
"How long are you gonna let it get?" The girl asked beginning to play in my hair. I didn't mind because with how short it was, it just felt like a scalp massage.
"I'm not sure yet. I won't let it get too long, but I kinda miss my curls." I admitted.
"Damn, it's gonna be a struggle keeping bitches off of you."
I furrowed my eyebrows at the girl's words before scoffing.
"A struggle for who?" I asked with a chuckle.
"You, headass. I obviously didn't mean myself. I got my own bitches to worry about."
I felt a little embarrassed because I highkey thought she was talking about herself, but why would she need to keep girls off of me when we agreed that this was just about sex?
"Yeah that's what I thought, but I was just making sure." I lied.
"Damn. We're some lying ass bitches."
I frowned at Aniya's words, but I didn't get to respond because the door burst open.
"I know damn well y'all ain't in here doing the devil's work on Christmas morning. We have family coming over." Ms. Fuller spoke and I chuckled because she misinterpreted what she was seeing.
"Ma, it's not even like that." Aniya said pushing the covers down so Ms. Fuller could see that we weren't naked or doing "the devil's work".
"It better not be. Get up and get dressed. The family should be here in about two hours or so." Ms. Fuller was about to leave, but then she narrowed her eyes at me.
"Come here." The woman ordered and I did as she said. I was a little scared because I didn't know what she wanted.
"Ma'am?"
The woman looked at me again once I was in front of her and frowned.
"You've been crying." The woman noticed and I just awkwardly shrugged.
"I know this is going to be the first Christmas you spend without your mom, but I don't want you to spend it feeling guilty. She would want you to be happy. It's okay for you to be happy."
It was like she took one look at me and knew my every feeling and thought.
"How did you know I felt like that?" I asked looking at the woman like she had super powers.
"Mother's intuition. I may not have given birth to you, but I still see you as one of my own. I can tell when something isn't right with you. It also helps that your eyes are red and a little puffy. Even your nose is red." The woman said tapping my nose and making me feel like a little kid for giggling.
"You still see me as your daughter; even after the kitchen situation?" I asked the woman and she chuckled.
"Why would that change anything? Unless I should being seeing you as my daughter in law now." The woman spoke looking between Aniya and me with a suspicious look on her face.
"No!" I said a lot louder than I'd intended to and the women's eyes got wide at my outburst before narrowing at me.
"Jayla just wants to have sex with me, Ma. You know, no strings. A friends with benefits type of thing." Aniya spoke and Ms. Fuller choked on air I'm guessing at her daughter's words.
"You and Dani need to understand that I'm not one of your little friends. I like that you tell me things, but I would prefer not to know some of those things."
Ms. Fuller gave us one last look before leaving the room.
Once Ms. Fuller was gone I turned around to face my bed and Aniya was sitting in the same spot, smiling at me.
"Don't smile at me right now." I frowned at the girl. "Why would you tell her I just want to have sex with you like this wasn't a mutual agreement?"
I wasn't upset, I just needed to know why she'd say it like that. How hard would it have been to say "We". Not to mention she called me Jayla. Who the hell is Jayla? I thought my name was Grey Eyes?
"Because technically it wasn't." The girl said confusing me further.
"We literally sat and talked about this. We made rules. We agreed together." I said pointing back and forth between us. "That's a mutual agreement."
"When you say something is mutual, there needs to be some sense of reciprocity." The girl argued.
"What's more reciprocal than sex between two consenting people?"
Aniya chuckled at that before answering.
"Sex between three consenting people."
I just looked at the girl with a blank expression because I refused to laugh at her little joke. Even if it was kind of funny.
"Let's be serious. We've proven that we can do that." I spoke. "If you don't want to do this, that's fine. I don't want you to feel like you're doing me any favors because I can literally find a fuck buddy anywhere. I could simply text one of the thirsty bitches from school back and viola, you'd be replaced."
Aniya's face screwed up a little at my words and then she smiled again.
"Do what you gotta do, Jayla, but I didn't mean it like that." The girl said making me groan.
"Then how did you mean it?" I asked trying to ignore the fact that she called me Jayla again. I don't know why that bothers me so much. I guess I just got used to Grey Eyes.
"I didn't mean it in anyway. I was only joking because I knew you'd feel some type of way about it. I was just messing with you. This was a mutual agreement. This is what we both wanted."
I didn't know if Aniya was telling the truth or if she was just saying that to make me drop the subject. Nevertheless, I dropped the subject anyway because we didn't have time for it. We had to get ready because her family would be here in less than two hours.
"I'm gonna go get changed."
She got up from my bed and ran a hand through her hair as she paused in front of me. I didn't know what she was up to, but she spoke before I could ask.
"I really want your stupid stitches to absorb already." The girl complained before gently grabbing my face and kissing my forehead. She left my room right after and I just stood there feeling all tingly as usual. I knew my cheeks were on fire as well. Forehead kisses aren't really a friends with benefits type of thing are they?
I'm sure she only did it because she can't kiss my lips, but why would she need to kiss me at all? She was only going into the next room. That was girlfriend behavior if you ask me.
I didn't have time to over analyze the situation, so I just started doing my morning routine.
When I got into the bathroom I looked in the mirror and saw how bad I looked. My eyes were puffy like Ms. Fuller had said and I just wasn't very pleasant in the mornings anyway. It was amplified with my crying and my screwed up lip.
I wouldn't have wanted to come near me this morning had I been Aniya, yet she not only held me, but she wanted to kiss me despite the monstrosity staring back at me.
I shook the thoughts out of my head and took a good look at my lip again before stripping and getting in the shower. It was healing pretty nicely. It was definitely an upgrade from the first few days. Luckily it was split more on my inner lip and a small portion of my outer lip. That's why the doctor felt it was best to use absorbable stitches rather than non-absorbable ones. It also helped that the laceration wasn't that severe.
Once I had showered and done my other morning duties, I got dressed and decided not to brush my waves back into my head. My hair had curled up anyway since I didn't do my normal wash routine in the shower. Getting my waves back would have been a struggle.
It had grown a lot more than I thought. I'm sure Dani and Nadia would still call me bald headed though. Bitches. I still love them though.
I made my way down stairs and I was ambushed by my best friend. She jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around me like we hadn't seen each other in years.
I caught the girl to keep us from falling and chuckled at her actions.
"Baby, I missed you." She said making me laugh more.
"I haven't gone anywhere." I said trying to shake the girl down because she was getting harder to hold.
Dani finally got off of me, but she pouted at me like a little kid.
"Oh, so you didn't miss me back?" The girl asked like she was hurt. "You've been cheating on me with my sister and I'm sick of letting it happen."
I rolled my eyes at my dumb, but lovable best friend.
"You're one to talk. You barely make time for me anymore. You and Natalie have been attached at the hip lately." I said purposely messing up Nadia's name.
She was just sitting on the couch, watching Dani and me with an amused expression. I think she low key liked it when we did this.
"Her name is Nadia. Na-dee-ah." The girl sounded her girlfriend's name out. "And she makes me feel special...like I matter...while you just go off and screw my sister behind my back. I think we should take a break."
"What?" I asked pretending to be hurt. "H-how could you even say that. I-I love you Aniya...I mean Dani."
"Really?!" The girl said with her mouth hanging open. "Did you really just call me that bitch's name?"
"Baby I-"
Dani cut me off.
"We're done." The girl fake broke up with me. "I guess now's a good time to mention that Nadia asked me to be her girlfriend and I said yes."
I tried not to laugh as I pretended to be upset.
"How could you say yes?!" I asked feigning hurt. "I thought you loved me?"
"I do love you, but I love myself more and you're no good for me." She spoke placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Can we at least be best friends or something?" I asked and Dani shrugged.
"I guess that'd be okay."
Dani and I couldn't hold back our laughter anymore after that.
"We need to be on someone's tv show with acting skills like that." The girl chuckled.
"Right." I agreed.
"You two are gonna be in someone's morgue if you keep playing like that. I'm starting to think you really have something going on." Nadia claimed, but I knew she didn't mean it. She found it entertaining; hence her laughing at us.
"Baby, do not act like you weren't laughing." Dani told the girl.
"Yeah because y'all are funny as hell, but that doesn't mean I won't fuck y'all up if you ever cheat on me."
"That will never happen because I love you, so hush."
Aniya came from downstairs and walked into the living room without saying a word to anyone. She was too busy looking at her phone. She laughed at whatever it was she saw and I got this weird feeling in my chest at the sight.
"Come with me right quick." Dani said grabbing my wrist and pulling me into the kitchen. There was food on the island and in the oven, but I ignored it. It was a struggle because I was hungry as hell.
"We haven't really gotten to talk in a while, but you've been spending a lot of time with Aniya. What exactly is going on between you two?" The girl asked and I sighed because I didn't feel like thinking about that again since Aniya said what she said this morning.
"Nothing. Just sex." I said making Dani frown slightly.
"Why? I thought you two liked each other."
I chuckled at that. "It's not like that. And besides, Mya really ruined any chances of me wanting anything romantic any time soon."
"You and Aniya can do what you want, but don't let Mya have any influence on whether or not things turn into something more with you two. Mya is irrelevant. She's happy and you deserve to be too. Don't let her ruin anything for you."
"There isn't anything to ruin." I shrugged. "We're just having sex. Well, we will be once we're both back in good health. We agreed to hold off until then."
"Well, that's between you two. All I know is I ship it, so if you two ever decide to open your eyes to how good you'd be together, I'm here for it." The girl smiled and I scoffed.
"You shipped Mya and me too and look at how that turned out." I pointed out and Dani shook her head.
"I never shipped you two. I just learned to accept it." The girl clarified. "You two were heading into a toxic relationship and Chipotle Mya saved you both by coming back."
"Who is Chipotle Mya?" I asked laughing at the stupid name.
"Mya's girlfriend. Her name is Mya too, but I met her at Chipotle. She worked there, so that's what I started calling her."
"Ooooh." I said nodding my head at the girl's explanation. "Who the hell dates a person with the same name as them?"
"That's the same thing I said!" Dani laughed.
"Then again, if I met another girl named Jayla that looked as good as Chipotle Mya does. I'd probably date her."
"That's understandable, but it'd be better if you dated a girl named Aniya that looks as good as me." The girl said making me roll my eyes.
"I already told you it's not like that."
"Not yet maybe, but you should know that Aniya has never focused on one girl the way she's focused on you. She definitely doesn't have sex with the same girl more than once. This whole friends with benefits crap isn't her thing."
"Oh, I feel so special. Your sister wants to have casual sex with me more than once." I spoke sarcastically.
"That's not what I meant. She probably doesn't even want to. She's probably just doing it because it's what you wanted. I think Niya actually likes you."
I didn't know how to feel about that. I didn't have feelings for Aniya and her liking me would ruin our whole arrangement. I doubt she likes me though.
"She doesn't like me."
"What if she did though?"
"Then I'd have to find a new fuck buddy."
Dani didn't look pleased with my words at all.
"What?" I asked when the girl was just looking at me.
"Nothing. I just wanted to know what was up with you two and now I know, so let's go back to the living room. My mom probably doesn't want you in the kitchen anyway." The girl joked.
Ms. Fuller told Dani and Nadia about what happened between Aniya and me when she took them to dinner that day.
"Shut up." I said playfully pushing the girl.
When Dani and I got back in the living room, she sat on the couch beside Nadia and I sat on another couch beside Aniya. She was still looking at her phone and curiosity got the best of me.
"I'm texting Javon since you're curious about it." The girl spoke without looking away from her phone. Damn. My dumb ass got caught peeking.
Javon was one of her cousins. I met him during Thanksgiving break.
"I was just sitting here." I lied and Aniya chuckled.
"You were being nosy, but I don't mind. It shows you care." The girl said making me scoff.
"I don't care who you text. You're not my girlfriend." I said a little harsher than I meant to, but Aniya didn't seem fazed by it.
"You obviously do, but I won't argue with you about it. But just to stop you from worrying, I don't give my number out to anyone, but family."
I gave the girl a funny look.
"I have your number and I'm not family." I pointed out.
"That's another rule of mine that I've broken for you." The girl said facing me with an unreadable expression. "That should tell you something."
After saying that, Aniya got up from the couch, leaving me to try and figure out what she meant by that.
-
The same family members of Dani's that I met during Thanksgiving Break came for Christmas. They all remembered me and I felt kind of special because they seemed so happy to see me. Even Dani's little cousin's remembered me. The little kids playfully attacked me like they had before and I felt so much love in all their tiny hits. I guess little kids have a different way of showing they like you.
The older kids were in the basement like before, but unlike last time, Aniya was ignoring me. I didn't even do anything to make her ignore me. Did I? I tried starting a conversation with her, but she just smiled at me and then walked away. Who the hell does that?
I brushed Aniya's cold shoulder off though. Whatever crawled up her ass would just have to die up there because I wasn't about to beg her to speak to me. No matter how bad I wanted her to. She's cool peoples. And she's my fuck buddy. I need to figure out what I did.
I looked around the basement, but Aniya was no where to be found. The only other places she could be were the upper levels of the house, so I made my way upstairs in search for the girl. She wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, so went I to Dani's room and found her there. She was lying on the bed with a pair of head phones on as she stared at the ceiling.
I made my presence known by sitting at the foot of the bed, but Aniya stayed in her same spot without acknowledging me. I was becoming irritated because not only was her ignoring me childish, I hadn't done anything to her for her to be ignoring me. We've been fine and even if we weren't, I'm not obligated to keep her happy because she isn't my girlfriend. She's just my fuck buddy. She's sort of my friend too, but this still doesn't make any sense. I didn't do anything!
"Stop panicking. I'm not mad at you."
I let out a breath of relief at the sound of the girl's voice. She spoke to me.
"What makes you think I was panicking and if you aren't mad, why were you ignoring me?" I asked the girl and she sat up before taking her headphones off.
"I could see it in your face and I was ignoring you because you annoy me."
I annoy her? How the hell do I annoy her?!
"How the hell do I annoy you?!" I asked trying not to be offended, but failing.
"I'm a very complex individual, Jayla."
Why does she keep calling me that?!
"Stop calling me that." I interrupted the girl and she looked at me like I was dumb.
"I can't call you by your name?"
"You've been calling me Grey Eyes all this time, but all of a sudden you just stop? And it's the day you seem to have a problem with me? I don't like that."
Aniya pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed before speaking again.
"I've never had a fuck buddy before." The girl continued without addressing my complaint. "I don't have sex with the same girl more than once because I'm a human being with feelings, even though I don't express them much. When you're with someone in that way you give a little bit of yourself to them whether we like to admit it or not. This short amount of time I've known you has made me see that I can't do that anymore. I don't like this stage we're in because I don't know how to just give a little when it comes to you. I'm not asking you for anything, but with a girl like you, I'd have to give all or nothing. With that being said, I don't want to do this anymore."
I didn't even know what to say. Was she trying to tell me she liked me? Or was this how she broke it off with all the girls she fucked? Even as a retired fuck girl, I can't tell. Damn, she's good.
"Then why did you agree to it in the first place?" I asked the confusing girl.
"I can't always give explanations for the things that I do."
I narrowed my eyes at the girl.
"Is that your way of saying you don't know, or do you just not want to tell me?"
"I don't know why I agreed to it. All I know is that that's not what I want. At least not from you. You're not like any of the girls I've encountered and that's saying a lot because I've lost count of the girls I've encountered." The girl chuckled to herself. "It's refreshing to meet someone that's not a clone of what I'm used to."
"So what exactly are you saying? Do you like me or something?"
Aniya gave me a weak smile before speaking.
"You have to find a new fuck buddy."
After saying that, she got up from Dani's bed and left me in the room to try to figure out the hidden meaning in her words because knowing her, there was one. Why does she have to be so complicated?
Malaya
I know I've said this before, but I love Raquel's family. Her immediate family is awesome and her extended family is great as well. No wonder she's so amazing. She's a product of pure perfection. Is it too late for me to be adopted? I'm kidding. Being in love with my adoptive sister would be kinda weird.
In love. Raquel told me she that she was in love with me today and I don't think I did a great job at telling her the feeling was mutual. It's so hard to say the right thing when you have fucking Shakespeare for a girlfriend. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but some of the things she says really make feel like I should just stay silent around her. I can't compete with that. Not that it's a competition.
Everybody had left and Raquel and her family, along with myself were settling in for the night. I had already showered and I was waiting on Raquel to get out. She'd took some time out of the day to talk to Gio, so I took that time to shower.
We were going to exchange gifts when she got out. Knowing Raquel, she went and got something that would put my gift to shame, but I guess I'd just have to get used to having the world's best girlfriend.
I hope she didn't get anything too expensive because my gift didn't cost that much, but I think it's cute. It's a little juvenile, but cute nonetheless.
When Raquel finally came out of the bathroom, she was fully dressed, but her hair was wet. We were wearing matching pajamas, but she looked better in them than I did.
"That shower washed all my energy away."
I laughed at the girl as she let her body fall lazily onto her bed. Her face was buried into the mattress and her damp curls sprawled out, hiding her face even more.
"You're going to suffocate yourself." I said lifting the girl's head up, but she just let it fall back down.
"If you die, we'll never get married." I said wondering if joking about that was okay considering the whole conversation we had earlier.
"I'm alive." The girl said hopping up like she wasn't just moving like a zombie.
I just chuckled at her silliness.
"You ready to exchange gifts?" The girl asked with a smile on her face and I nodded my head before getting off of her bed.
"I want to go first though because I know you probably went off and bought me a planet or something."
I heard Raquel suck her teeth at that as I went to retrieve my gift for her from my bag.
"Dang it, you ruined the surprise." The girl joked and I chuckled.
I came back to the bed with my gift and Raquel reached for it, but I pulled it back.
"Hold your horses." I said asking for the girl's patience. "Before I give you this, I just want you to know that I suck at giving gifts, so don't be mean. That's my thing."
Raquel rolled her eyes at that.
"I'm sure I'll love whatever it is and you're not mean."
I just gave my girlfriend a nervous smile and handed her the rectangular box. It was wrapped in red gift paper with a green bow on top. My gift honestly sucked, but hopefully Raquel would look past that. I'm new to this okay? This is my first time ever being in love.
I watched with much anxiety as my girlfriend unwrapped her gift. Please don't hate it. Please don't hate it. Please don't hate it.
My heart was in my stomach as she took the lid off of the rectangular box. I let out a breath of relief when a huge grin spread across her face.
"Property of Malaya huh?" She said making me blush.
"That's not what I meant by it." I said burying my face in my hands.
"I'm only kidding. I love it." She said pulling out the golden necklace with my name in cursive letters on it.
"Besides, I have one too." I said showing her a necklace I was wearing. It looked just like the one I'd given her, but it had her name on it.
"This is so fucking cute." She cooed. "I'm never taking it off."
"I'm glad you like it." I said finally feeling my stomach settle. "And you won't have to worry about it turning your neck green because it's real gold." I added making her laugh." I wanted them to last. And I want us to last, so I figured as long as we had these, we'd always think of each other. Especially since I'm graduating this semester. We can have a little piece of each other with us everywhere we go."
Raquel's face soften at that and she leaned forward to kiss me. I met her half way and we shared a short, but sweet kiss.
"I love you, so much. Thank you." She spoke sweetly and I smiled shyly.
"You're welcome and I love you too. I love you a lot more than I'm able to express through words."
"I know you do." She assured me. "You say it better than you think you do. And you're great at showing it. I feel like the luckiest girl on this planet."
This time I was the one that leaned in for a kiss.
Once we pulled away, Raquel hopped off of the bed and pulled me up as well.
"I need you to be standing for this." She said making me narrow my eyes at her.
"What are you up to?" I asked and all I got in return was a gentle smile.
I feel like I'm going to be one up'd any second now.
Raquel went over to her draw and pulled something out before quickly putting it behind her back.
"Well, at least I know it's not the planet." I tried joking through my sudden nervousness. What was she up to?
"Before I do this, will you put this on me?" She said giving me the necklace I gave her and I did as she asked.
I smiled at the small token of us belonging to each other in the most non possessive way.
"Okay." Raquel said taking a deep breath before she pulled a small square box from behind her back. The first thing that came to my mind was a ring. I didn't panic or anything because she was standing up. I need stop being ridiculous anyway. She wasn't going to propose or anything. We just talked about that and neither of us are ready for that. We haven't even been together that long.
"You done having that internal conflict?" She asked and I hadn't even notice until that moment that she was down on one knee.
"R-Raquel? W-What are you doing?" I asked looking down at her like she was holding a gun. Why is she down on one knee?! She can't be-no of course not. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate.
"Baby, calm down." She said bursting out laughing before standing back up.
"I'm just messing with you. I saw the look on your face when I revealed the box and I coudn't help myself."
"Don't play like that!" I yelled pushing her away from me and trying to get my breathing back to normal. I felt like I was going to cry or something. I have never been that terrified in my life. I tried laughing the situation off, but I couldn't get my heart beat to settle down. My whole body was tingling with nerves and I think Raquel noticed because she pulled me into a hug even though she was still laughing at me.
"I'm sorry baby. That wasn't funny." She said kissing my forehead.
"You're such an asshole for that." I said pushing her away again, but I was able to let out a laugh of relief.
"Just out of curiosity, what would you have said?" She asked and I shrugged.
"I don't know if I would have even been able to speak. I was so fucking scared. Don't play like that ever again." I said pointing a menacing finger at my asshole of a girlfriend.
"I promise you the next time I do that, it won't be a joke." She spoke pulling me into another hug and I returned it. "Wow. You're shaking."
"Ya don't say." I rolled my eyes at her notification.
"Maybe you'll feel better after you open your gift."
Raquel released me from her warm embraced and held the tiny box out to me. When I reached for it, she pulled it back like I'd done her.
"I just want you to know that I love you and that's never going to stop. I know you don't like thinking too far ahead, and I'm not asking you to. The thing I ask is that you promise me that no matter what, we'll meet each other at the end of whatever obstacles we face. I'm hoping that we will get through all of them together, but I know that's not always how life works. You're my first love and I know that I'm yours. I promise that you will be my last love as well. Will you promise me the same?"
Raquel opened the box and revealed two rings. One had my birth stone and the other had hers. Amethyst and Garnet. (AN: Shoutout to Steven Universe!!)
They were so beautiful and even though I wasn't much of a cryer, I could feel myself wanting to tear up.
"This is so..God I love you so much." I said my feeling my voice crack a little. "I promise you will always be my love. First. Middle. Last. It will always be you and only you."
I meant that promise with every part of me. Standing in front of me was the girl of my dreams.
"And you call me poetic." Raquel teased and I rolled my eyes.
I held out my hand, so she could put the ring on my finger and she got the hint. She slipped the ring with the Amethyst birth stone on to my finger. Next she allowed me to slipped the Garnet ring onto her right ring finger.
We both admired our rings. I couldn't stop smiling at it because it wasn't just a ring. It held so much meaning to me and I was never going to take it off.
"Thank you." I told my girlfriend gratefully. "I love it and I love you."
"You're welcome. And I love you too. I love your gift to me as well." She spoke lifting the necklace so she could see my name.
I wasn't so scared about the future anymore. I knew I could get through anything if she was what I got after it all.
*********
What's up, people? It's been a little while, but this wasn't that long of a wait. I tried to make this chapter a little long since it's been weeks since I updated.
Did you like this chapter?
What do you think Aniya was trying to tell Jayla? Does she like her or was she just using her fuck girl moves on her?
Do you ship those two together?
Aren't Raquel and Malaya just the cutest couple ever? The love between those two is so real and pure. 😭✊🏾
Dani and Nadia will be back in the next chapter. I'm sure people miss them. I just needed to focus on the others for a little bit.
As I said before, I'm wrapping this book up, so bare with me.
Anyway, thank you for reading. 😊
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