Chapter 16
A/N: Having a major writer's block. You may criticise to your heart's content, and I will not reply back to comments describing how horrible my writing is at the moment.
────────────────────────
4th of Evening Star, 4E 201
More boring days. I cannot wait for the wedding. The only reason we're staying in Solitude is because when traveling to the wedding from Falkreath, there might be a malfunction. Shadowmere refuses to travel at times, and wagons take too long. So, instead of going here three days early, we decide to get here twenty days beforehand. I didn't agree to it, but Gabriella let me be in charge of everything - including bossing around the Dovahkiin.
And apparently... the wedding was postponed for another three months.
Kill me now.
So, since today, I've been commanding him to give me sweetrolls, call me "Mistress" (I told him to stop since he took advantage of the name)
"Would you like to punish me, my Mistress?" he would say, and that's when the name eventually stopped.
But today, he decides to be extra annoying and yell "Cute little elf, cute little elf," over and over, so I had to chase him around Solitude.
I had to chase him like a child, even passed the Castle Dour; passed the graveyard; passed the Blue Palace; passed everyone's homes; and finally caught up with him once we passed the Bard's College. We were everywhere, including circling around the marketplace. We angered most people when it transformed into a rock-throwing fight.
"Shut up, perverted idiot!"
"Hey, you found a new nickname for me."
I covered a rock with flames and threw it at his face, even when I knew he would dodge it. I was so angry, I even covered pebbles in ice and shot it like bullets.
So, we eventually walked in Proudspire Manor, receiving a confused look from Kaito's Housecarl. Patches of dirt lay on our knees and elbows, with pebble bruises spotting our cheeks, and our hair was tangled and messy.
"Playing in the-?"
"No, we were not throwing rocks nor gathering piles of dirt and dumping it on each other. It was a mere battle that I won," I told her nicely, pretending to sheath my dagger. Jordis just laughed, actually believing my lie for a moment.
"Yeah, but I let her win," Kaito decided to join. "She was struggling, so I decided to be nice."
Jordis laughed again, handing a sweetroll to me and a crostata to Kaito. "I'll prepare a bath for you two."
"Let's bath together."
"No."
"Aw."
I guess Kaito's secret amusement is pissing me off.
Now, I am sitting in the bath, scrubbing the dirt off my arms and legs with a wash rag. Nothing interesting is going on thus far.
I sigh. How is the Dark Brotherhood doing?
Three knocks on the door catch my attention. "Lady Cortana, you have a letter from a courier in Whiterun. For your eyes only," Jordis tells me.
I hurry out of the bath and cover myself with a robe made of the fabric from a flannel. Picking up the letter, I unfold it neatly.
Dear Loser,
Just kidding, I thought you'd be bored waiting in Solitude. The Dark Brotherhood just received three contracts in a span of two days. I am currently in Whiterun, a little boy wants a girl named Braith dead. He explained she kept bullying him and stole his taffy. I couldn't stop laughing after I left. Children these days... anyway, how are you? Since you're stuck there with Kaito, Babette and I wanted to make your contract a little more... interesting.
Ten days from now, you will receive a poison from a courier. The poison will be disguised as a health potion, so DO NOT DRINK! It is similar to the poison you used to kill Lurbuk, but it travels the body in a slower pace. Lots of pain, lots of torture, lots of agony.
-Gabriella
I can't help but smile. Gabriella just seems more energetic and playful in writing. In reality, she always looks bored.
Making a quick dash to Kaito's room to change, I made sure he wasn't hiding under the bed or one of the wardrobes. All clear.
Slipping on a soft tunic, I open the door to see a scruffy, filthy Dragonborn.
"How long do you take in the bath?" he says, which hints a whine. He should know how long I take with Astrid, Gabriella, and Babette.
I shrug and giggle at the bruise on his jaw. The blue and green disoriented circle in the shape of a fist just amuses me. I can punch that hard?
Strolling outside to let my hair dry a bit, I look towards the docks. My father used to take me to the water where the sailors aren't screaming profanities at each other, and nobody was busy. It was during the summer. The breeze makes its way through my waves of hair, and I sigh. Anything will remind me of Them. The bells sound on the ship, signalling it'll enter the warehouse.
I sit on a wooden chair, making myself comfortable. Not much is happening, the wedding should be scheduled sooner. So boring.
Finally, Kaito is finished with his bath. I'm not sure why, but I've been waiting for him to casually follow me to the patio and sit down across from me. And he does.
With water still dripping from his hair, he inhales deeply. He must be tired.
"Sooo..." I mumble, the uncomfortable silence getting on my nerves. It always makes me edgy when I'm alone with Kaito.
He rests his chin onto his palm. "You have interesting hair..."
"Yeah," I reply.
"How?"
Oh. I forgot Kaito is the only one in the Dark Brotherhood who doesn't know. So, I explain about the shade of a conjuration spell blending in with my hair that was supposed to be as white as my mother's when she was giving birth, and I added how my eyes got so blue.
"...ghost girl?"
"Pretty much."
"I see..."
"Yeah."
Then silence.
Everything is so awkward when I'm alone with him. Right now, he seems like a normal man living the Skyrim life. He gets all the attention, whilst I stay in the shadows. I'm a bit jealous. He doesn't go around cities, afraid of getting caught doing an evil deed. My whole life I've been paranoid about nothing. He has an easy life, besides all the adventures he goes through. Once he retires, it'll be peace, just for him.
I wish he'd just die.
I don't know why, I just don't like him. Don't you ever have that feeling with some people? That you just don't like someone?
"What are you thinking?" Kaito suddenly asks me. I shrug.
I've never seen him sad, hurt, or depressed. Sure, I've seen him angry, but he's never full of emotion. Heck, he hasn't even been frightened!
"I know you have something on your mind."
This time, he's serious. Instead of replying, I blink and look to the water, reflecting sailors and top of boats.
A moment later, I slam my hands against the table. I guess I've finally burst.
"Why do you always get the easy life? Have you ever felt depressed? Ever? I hate people who never have anything horrible happen to them! I..." I stop my outburst once he stares at me with those empty grey eyes. "I wish you'd just die!"
No wonder people scream and burst randomly. It really does make you feel better.
"Nobody has an easy life," he says quietly. "Something bad will always happen, but you'll always find a way to be happy. You can't move forward without the pain. It sounds cliché, I know, but it's true. It's impossible to have a life with no mishaps, Cortana, understand that."
I begin to calm down.
"The more pain, the easier it'll be to endure it. Once it happens again, just get used to it. This world is merciless... yet a beautiful place. Those were my sister's words."
"You had a sister?" I answer in disbelief.
"Yeah. A little sister. Her name was Mikasa, but she died from sickness. After she passed, I didn't have anything else to live for. Your personality is like her. She loved to be competitive with me, and hated when I teased her. Before Mikasa died, she made me promise I'll find a beautiful woman that reminded me of her, and that I'll cherish that woman forever. I never thought I'd find someone Mikasa described, but... it turns out I did."
Wow. How am I going to answer this? I bite my tongue, regretting the words I had said to him.
"But I guess you've suffered more than I have. I see you're angry about it. I'll leave you alone."
After that, he stands up and walks inside. He really can be a kind person. I'm not the only one heartbroken by death.
***
"Mikasa, you have icing on your cheek," Kaito laughs, wiping the Breton's cheek with a small towel. She giggles, splitting the sweetroll in half, giving it to her older brother. She lies in bed, Kaito sitting onto the end of it. He leans onto the post as he watches Mikasa remorselessly snack on the treat.
"Hey Kaito," she whispers.
"What?" he whispers back in a playful tune, leaning in to what she has to say.
"Will you sing me a song?" Mikasa answers in anticipation, clapping her hands together, as if she already knows he'll do what she asks. He laughs, and brushes the hair out from his face.
Mikasa does the same, removing black hair from her eyesight, blue eyes staring at her Nord brother.
"Hmm, alright... you ready?"
She nods excitedly, but coughs onto her shoulder. Kaito sadly looks at his sickly sister in pajamas, but steadily strums the lute.
"Sleep soundly safe in his heart...
You no longer have to face the evil in the dark.
Just, rest your mind, and leave your pain behind.
Remember softly, of a time, when the world was so bright
⠀
You've fought so bravely, my dear.
And so... you can rest, for now there's nothing left to fear.
Fighting onward, you dreamed unreachable things.
But now your dreams carry you, to a place where these things come true.
⠀
I'll hold your hand while you sleep.
So don't be afraid, I won't let shadows touch your dreams.
Maybe in time, we'll leave this all behind.
We'll look up skyward, and the stars, they will shine in your eyes.
⠀
Promise, you'll wake up in time.
When you awaken I will be there by your side.
There's a person, he'll fix the broken mistakes.
I'll find him and journey on, I will save you, whatever it takes..."
Mikasa's coughs worsen, but she immediately stops after a minute. Then, she begins to clap.
"Yay, big bro! You should really apply for the Bard's College. Not many guys can sing, especially as good-looking as my brother. I'm lucky to have one like you!" she giggles happily. "Someday, I'll get married to a-"
"Mikasa," Kaito groans. "No getting any boyfriends until I approve, got that? Besides, you're only twelve."
"Soo?" Mikasa whines back, playfully punching him on the arm. "You're fourteen. That doesn't mean you play daddy-daughter on me!"
Again, Kaito rolls his eyes.
"Hey," she whispers again, this time leaning in close.
"What?" he replies, setting the lute onto the ground.
"When you get a girlfriend, I want her to be interesting," she says monotonously, giggling afterwards. Kaito shakes his head, grimacing.
"No. I won't take care of two girls!" he whines, running fingers through his light black hair.
"C'mon, a fourteen-year-old boy really should have a girlfriend. Besides, I'm talking about when I die," she chuckles, but that immediately pushes her brother's cheerful smile into a deep frown.
"No, that'll never happen. Mama and Papa said I'll always take care of you, and that's what I'll do. Your sickness will be cured, no matter what!"
Mikasa smiles sadly, and folds her hands together.
"Y'know that'll never happen. All the disease and health potions I'll take, I'll never be cured. It's something I can't avoid, and a battle I can't win. There are times where you really have to back down and quit, and it isn't your choice. Like when Mama gives you a spanking." Mikasa places her fingers on the ends of her mouth, signalling a smile. Her pink lips grin into happiness, and no longer a sombre frown.
Kaito smiles with her, clenching his teeth. No matter the pain, he won't show weakness in front of his own sister, the one who looks up to him. He detests that feeling, when your stomach flips and tears are eager to slip. The only way he holds them back by clenching is teeth tightly, squeezing his fingers into a fist, or going into a deep yawn. You know the casual yawn, when your eyes begin to tear up.
"When my days are over, I know you'll be a complete mess. That's why, I want you to have that special girl you'll cherish and forget about your depression over my death. However, I want a girl for you who at least reminds you a little of me! Whether it be physical appearance, personality, voice, I don't want you to forget about me forever. I mean, at least pick a girl with the same hair length!" Mikasa throws her hands up in the air, but coughs as violently as before. Soon after she lifts up her head, she laughs. "Poor little ole me. Hacking like an old man."
"Silly, I'll never forget about you. And I'm sure I'll never find a woman when I'm older because I'll be taking care of you!" He smiles in mirth, crossing his arms as if saying 'that's final!'
"But-"
"I'm not taking any of that crap of you saying you won't survive. Got it?"
Mikasa sighs, folding her hands once again. "I just want you to be prepared, okay?"
"Whatever. Just get some rest. I'll be hunting for tomorrow's breakfast," he says, preparing his weapons. "Say... it's almost your birthday. Just a month later, what do you want?"
Huh, she's already asleep.
Kaito kisses her forehead, a single drop of his tears falling onto her cheek, as if it was her own. She's been sleeping more often, and barely has the energy to do any activities. Her sickness was getting heavier, and no healers would accept their gold. Their life savings were no more than to keep them alive, and for Mikasa's sickness to at least stay neutral.
His hunting was still proficient, thanks to his father's teachings. Their mother died from being eaten alive by skeevers, since they once lived in a skeever-infested home. They left after they found out her skeleton.
Their father's death was from a violent bandit raid. Mikasa and Kaito were there too, them being thirteen and eleven. It was at Karthwasten. Years before, bandits invaded the little settlement and killed almost everyone. They demanded to know who their father was, and held up every head from the villager they killed to identify Mikasa and Kaito's father. Once they told the bandits who the father is, they were ordered to lead them to their home. That was when they stole almost all their belongings and half their life-savings.
Then the sickness came to Mikasa.
It was up to Kaito to be the man of the house.
Hunting is an easy task for him now - the only problem is the animals trying to flee. Usually he is excellent at stalking and taking the kill, but he isn't as steady as he is. He can't concentrate.
My sister will be waiting for her breakfast in the morning. I can't fail her now, not ever. Especially when she is sick.
Grasping the dagger in his right hand, a hare waits beside a tree. His careful footsteps makes sure not to give him away. But, one small turn of the hare's head, it bursts out into a sprint.
Mentally sighing in defeat, he spots another animal grazing through a beautiful field of grass and flowers. He can just lie here and draw for Mikasa until his fingers are numb. He shakes his head. No playing at this time, it'll be dark soon.
Swiftly hiding behind a tree, a deer rests with its head facing the opposite way. Perfect. Kaito tightly wraps his fingers around the helve, and lunges at the doe. It gives one last cry out of pain, and he stabs it again, this time, in the neck.
"Sorry, but we have to eat."
He collects the limbs altogether, then drags the body to their wrecked home. It wasn't much, but it was enough for them to survive. The only problem is, winter is coming around the corner, and fast. The chill is already seeping into the cracks of their cabin.
Quietly slipping his game through the door, he places it onto the table, where it isn't in view for his sister. She squeals and gives a tantrum if she sees a dead animal in the house.
It was morning now, and the meat was already cooking. Mikasa had to teach him how to cook, since he couldn't if his life depended on it. But now, he cooks on his own, just like his sister.
She sniffs the air, her eyes still closed. "Kaito, are you going to burn the house down?"
He laughs and turns the meat over the fire. "No, I'm actually cooking, thank you very much. Now go drink a potion."
"Right..." she mumbles, throwing the covers off the upper part of her body. She reaches for the health potion near the desk beside her, but begins to cough.
It's just one of her fits. Part of her sickness, nothing important, he thinks, a lump in his throat. But, something else occurs. She falls over and begins to vomit.
Rushing to clean it up, he freezes once it is mixed with blood. He pats her back and carries her to set her down on the bed once again.
"I'm sorry."
"For what? It isn't your fault you're sick," he replies, giving Mikasa her favourite stuffed animal.
"Yeah... but you always have to help me. You carry me everywhere, give me books... you even clean up the yucky stuff!"
"Aren't you a little too old to call it 'yucky-stuff?'"
She shrugs. "Anyway, you shouldn't be helping me all the time. I'm getting in your way."
Kaito gives her a stern look. "You are not a burden, you hear me? I like helping you. Even if you are the casual annoying little sister, I'll always stop to help you."
"Even when our food could burn?"
Glancing towards the cooking meat, he dashes to set it on a plate. He sighs of relief, receiving a chuckle from his sister.
This was only breakfast. After this, she couldn't eat anything at all.
Her fever was worse, set to excessive sweating. It was one ordinary fever, Kaito didn't mind.
"Hey," he whispers to his sister, who lies in bed, even paler than before.
"What?" she answers, now the whispering being an every-day tradition with them.
"I found a meadow close where we live. It's hidden in the trees. When you get better, I'll take you there, okay?"
Mikasa then smiles, squeezing his hand. "All right."
A day already passed. The fever stays neutral.
A week passed. Mikasa can no longer use her legs. Her energy decreases, and is too weak to do any physical activities. She can hardly pick up a potion to drink.
"Do you need to use the chamber pot?" Kaito asks, closing the health bottle. The past few days, Mikasa didn't have the strength to do anything, even get up to use the bathroom by herself to wash clothes.
Worry begins to spread throughout Kaito's mind. How did Mikasa contract the disease? She doesn't deserve this. The symptoms are unpredictable.
A month suddenly passes. A cold wash rag lies atop her head whilst sleeping. Her breathing decreases relatively slower than the past week.
"Looks like you're a year behind me, eh?" Kaito chuckles, patting the young Breton's head.
"Yeah," she replies slowly, cadaverous, pale fingers twisting her own hair into a braid.
"What do you wanna do for your birthday? It'll be anything you wish."
"Actually... I do want something," Mikasa drifts into a smile.
"What is it? I saved up a lot of septims so you can buy anything in Skyrim! After you drink the health potion, I'll buy anything for you!" he exclaims eagerly, holding up a purse of coins. The gold clinks inside the bag, tied with a single braided thread.
She shakes her head. "I want to visit the meadow you told me about."
Kaito suddenly frowns, but smiles once again. "Silly, it's snowing. Your fever will get worse."
The grieving frown brings Kaito to sadness. "But I want to go."
"You can't."
"It's my birthday."
"Yeah, but... fine. Only for a little bit, okay?"
"Okay."
Gathering crimson mitts and a scarf, he carefully ties it around Mikasa's neck. He wraps two set of furs onto her figure, carrying her as if she was a baby. He shoves five disease and health potions into his pouch.
The snow falls lightly onto their skin, Mikasa's nose already transforming into a hue of roseate, as if a snowberry delicately landed on her nose. Almost everything is covered in a layer of snow, the flowers barely revealing their red, blue, and yellow shades.
The deep crimson colour of snowberries show throughout the piles of ice, and the grass barely sticks up.
"You can't really see it, but... it's something," he whispers, Mikasa now on his back.
"Set me down. Right across the field, only halfway."
"Why?"
"Just do it..."
So he does.
"Now run back."
He obeys.
"Okay, I'll try to walk right to you! My legs are strong enough to walk, and this'll be an accomplishment. I haven't got out of bed in ages!"
Kaito smiles, and claps his hands as if she is barely an infant.
She falls. He comes to rush, but she waves her hand and tells him to stay back.
"Don't help me!" she whines, and he puts his hands up defensively.
"If you say so."
The laughs of the siblings fill the field, and she coughs only slightly.
"Hey..." she whispers, continuing with their tradition.
"What?" he answers.
"I love you."
"I love you too, lil sis'," he says, then hauls his exhausted sister up his back. Her hands are dead cold. "Mikasa?"
"Hm?"
"Stay with big brother, okay?"
"Okay."
Walking away from the meadow, the snow falls heavily.
"You know, I can buy you anything from the inn! I'll walk there, no matter how hard it's snowing!"
He says all those things with passion, and smiles, tears running down his cheeks.
He continues to talk to himself.
────────────────────────
Kaito's song is called Ventus's Theme, by Lizz!
Mikasa's quote is by Mikasa Ackerman from Attack on Titan. "This world is merciless... yet a beautiful place."
Please rate and review! I love comments, and yes, I did say you can criticise this chapter as much as you want, so go ahead.
(Constructive criticism or hate comments for this chapter only!)
◆ UPDATE 8/22/15 - I look back to this chapter and yes, I was a total weeb. Like ew I named her Mikasa. Please excuse that I based off Kaito's sister off Mikasa Ackerman. No, Kaito's last name is not Ackerman haha.