Jungkook woke up alone in his bed.
He always woke up alone in his bed, but he needed to qualify it because Jimin and Tae were still cuddling in Jimin's bed, a bed that had gone unused for 5 years and was now being overused with two bodies in it.
Jungkook's bed had plenty of space for himself so he could sleep comfortably, alone.
Just how he liked it.
Being alone.
Like the night before when Tae had snuck into Hobi's bed and Jungkook had had the entire room to himself.
Just how he liked it.
Being alone.
Always alone.
Jungkook went into the kitchen and got a bowl for himself. Then he poured the milk into his bowl and ate his cereal by himself. He was thinking that maybe, if he ate before everyone else, he could avoid seeing Jimin or Tae for breakfast.
Only the growing pattering of footsteps ruined that idea.
Everybody else settled in to their seats.
"Jungkook, why didn't you keep the milk out for us?" Jin complained as he went to get it and Hobi grabbed bowls for everyone. "Ah, Jimin, don't forget that today is your day with Jungkook, so sit next to him."
"He can sit wherever he wants," Jungkook said to Jin, ignoring the boy who slipped into the seat next to him. He didn't even spare him a glance. He needed to hang onto this feeling.
Because you couldn't be lonely if you didn't acknowledge it.
Jin gave Jungkook a concerned look before setting out milk and cereal and helping everyone get their breakfast.
"What are we going to do today, Kookie?" Jimin asked, smiling at his dongsaeng. It was a weird feeling, being a hyung, a feeling he hadn't experienced for 5 years. He'd missed his precious little brothers, his triplets.
Jungkook stilled at hearing his old nickname. He tried to ignore Jimin, but the name came again.
"Kookie?"
"Don't-" Jungkook exhaled slowly. "Don't call me that. Nobody calls me that."
"O-oh."
"Ignore him, Jimin. He's just cranky because he woke up. You can call him whatever you want to," Jin encouraged, and Jungkook glared at him, unnoticed.
Jimin sat in his seat, apprehensive, but when he noticed that Jungkook was finished with his breakfast, he stood up. "I can put your dishes in the sink, Kook- Jungkook," he offered, correcting his slip-up, but Jungkook ignored his outstretched hand, pushing his chair back roughly and getting up, putting his dishes away himself. Then he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
Jimin hurried after him, grabbing his toothbrush and waiting for Jungkook to finish using the toothpaste, but instead of handing it to Jimin, he set it back down on the counter. Jimin frowned before picking it up and brushing his teeth, looking at Jungkook in the mirror.
Jungkook finished brushing his teeth, never having looked at Jimin throughout the entire encounter, and left the bathroom. Jimin rushed to finish, hurrying after Jungkook, trying to catch up with him, but he was always behind.
***
Namjoon came out of his room and found Jungkook. "So, what do you want to do with Jimin today? He can go to school with you, or you two can stay home."
Jungkook was silent while he was thinking. He couldn't refuse to spend time with Jimin because it would make Namjoon unhappy, and Jungkook didn't want that. His initial thought was to bring Jimin to school with him so he didn't have to be alone with him, but then he realized that Tae would just steal the opportunity to have Jimin for more time. That wasn't really a problem for Jungkook; he didn't want to be around Jimin anyway. But he didn't want to have to deal with Tae gloating, just another competition that Tae had beat him in because Tae was the good triplet, the smart triplet, the nice triplet.
"We can stay home," Jungkook suggested, and Namjoon nodded.
"All right. I'll call in your absence. Lock the doors after we leave and call me if you have any problems, okay? There's plenty of food in the fridge and in the cabinets." He told Jungkook a few more things that Jungkook didn't really pay attention to before they all left, the hyungs looking somewhat concerned but unable to do anything as they followed Namjoon out to the car. Tae in particular gave both Jungkook and Jimin a look, only the look he gave to Jimin was a lot nicer than the look he gave to Jungkook.
Then they were all alone.
***
"Kookie?" Jimin asked after half an hour of silence, having already forgotten about Jungkook's warning earlier to forget about the nickname. "Do you want to do something?"
Jungkook looked up at Jimin for the first time that day. He studied the soft contours of Jimin's face, the way Jimin's cheeks weren't as chubby as they were back then but still a little. "No," he finally said, looking back down at the book he was reading.
"Oh." Jimin hesitated, unsure of how to act. This was a different Kookie than the shy, innocent one he'd known who had always wanted to make friends, even if he was a little scared. "I...I really like the book you're reading," he said, trying to connect with Kookie, who looked up again in annoyance.
"Okay? Great," he muttered, looking back down at the book.
Jimin was silent for another ten minutes, curled at the edge of the couch, hugging the same pillow he'd been hugging before Hobi had taken him to Wonpil's party. "Kookie?"
"What is it now?" Jungkook snapped, setting his book down and crossing his arms.
"Thanks for bringing me back home," Jimin said softly, biting his lip and staring at Jungkook.
Jungkook swallowed, his anger dissipating slowly as it was replaced with confusion. "What?"
"Tae told me," Jimin said. "That you told the police something that helped them find me," he said, looking down with a small smile at the pillow he was squishing. "You saved me. I'm so glad you were there that day, Jungkook, or else they might never have found me."
"Tae told you that?" Jungkook finally responded.
What is Tae trying to do? How is he going to use this to make me look like a monster? What else did he tell Jimin?
"Yeah," Jimin said, looking up happily. "You saved me, Kookie."
Jungkook couldn't stop himself from shaking his head slowly as he watched the smile slowly slip from Jimin's lips. "No I didn't."
"Kookie? What do you-"
"The day you were taken," Jungkook said, the book forgotten. "I was playing a game with the other kids."
"The girls," Jimin said, giggling slightly.
"We were playing a game of favorites," Jungkook went on, ignoring Jimin's interruption. "They asked me who my favorite brother was."
Jimin just watched and listened, unsure where Jungkook was going with this.
"And I told them anyone but you."
Jimin's lips parted, but no words came out, his eyes reflecting only confusion and slight pain.
"Everybody always spoiled you. They always treated you the best. Because you're sensitive, they'd say. He can't help it, they'd say. They'd always pay extra attention to you. They'd always love you more."
"K-kookie?" Jimin finally stuttered, but Jungkook just kept going.
"The day you were taken. I didn't even notice that you were gone," Jungkook said, and the house became silent.
The silence was broken by Jimin's hiccups as he tried to hold back his sobs.
"See?" Jungkook said tonelessly. "You're doing it again. Who's going to hug you now? Who's going to fawn over you? Who's going to hug you and tell you that it's okay, that you're perfect just the way you are, that you don't have to change?" Jungkook swallowed, feeling the anger come back. "They tell you that you're perfect, but they tell me that I'm supposed to change, that I'm supposed to be tough, that I'm supposed to be brave and strong. How is that fair? How is that fair?"
Jungkook glared at Jimin, letting his book slide off of him and onto the ground, losing his page. He leaned forward and grabbed Jimin, pulling him forward by his hair, which he clenched in one hand. "Answer me, Jimin! How is that fair?!"
Jimin was a sobbing mess at this point, wincing in pain from Jungkook's grip in his hair, yanking him forward. "I'm sorry!" he screamed, his eyes shut and the tears flowing forth relentlessly. "I'm sorry, Kookie!"
"For what?!"
"For being weak!" Jimin replied, twisting slightly and yelping from the pain in his scalp.
"For taking all the love, Jimin! You stole it all from me! You took what was supposed to be mine!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Jimin kept repeating, but Jungkook didn't care.
"You aren't sorry. You're still doing it right now even though there's nobody here for you to steal away from me," Jungkook snapped. "You've always done this, taking the hyungs away from me, taking Tae away from me, taking Dad away from me!"
Jungkook clenched his jaw, more furious than he could ever remember being. "You took Mom away from us! You're the one who made her leave! She would still be here if it weren't for you! You were always crying about something, never shutting up! No wonder she left, because she couldn't handle raising you!"
Jimin's eyes fluttered open, glossy with tears and filled with pain. "Kookie, I-"
"Don't call me that!" Jungkook yelled, hitting Jimin, pushing him hard as he let go of Jimin's hair and watched in satisfaction as he fell back off the couch, hitting the table. "Always trying to pretend that you care, even when you're stealing everything from me!" Jungkook kept yelling even as he felt his own tears falling, although he couldn't comprehend why they were on his face. "Why can't you just hate me like I hate you?!"
His yell echoed throughout the house, followed by his panting as his chest rose up and down.
There was no response.
"Jimin?" Jungkook asked, still angry but a little softer. He wasn't going to let Jimin just cry his way out of this one. "Jimin, answer me."
He swallowed, biting down on his teeth. "I hate you," he said, his voice quieter but just as intense as his earlier yelling. "I wish we'd never found you. I wish you were never born," he said.
The words left his lips freely, but the weight of them crushed him afterward.
Do I really mean that?
Do I really want Jimin missing or dead?
I might blame him for a lot of what's happened, but enough to want him gone?
No, I...
I just...
I just want to be loved...
If he hadn't stolen it all, I...
"Jimin?" Jungkook asked after getting no response.
He looked down to see Jimin lying on the floor, his eyes shut, and the corner of the table covered in blood.
shorter chapter than the others but it will be continued in the next part
don't hate kookie too much please
here's some cute pics to cheer you up in the meantime :)