A/N: so this chapter is a major vent. This isn't a chapter, so you can skip it if you want to. I recently relapsed pretty badly, and my parents yelled at me about being a failure to everyone, and I was just diagnosed with schizophrenia.I haven't eaten in 5 days. Its pretty damn bad.
Pain.
All I feel.
Maybe, if I hurt myself, I'll feel better.
Lying to my loved ones.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine."
Faking smiles so convincing even my parents are fooled.
"Yeah, I had a good day."
Skipping meals, drawing on my wrists with a blade.
"I'm getting better."
writing letters with my last words on them, stealing rope from the garage.
"I'm Okay, thanks."
Downing the maximum dose of antidepressants.
"I don't need them anymore."
Feeling numb inside.
"I'm really happy today!"
Why the fuck am I so ugly?
"I think I look pretty good."
How many calories did I take in today?
"I'm not hungry, but thanks."
I'm alone in this world.
"Yeah, I know there's people out there for me."
I hate my retarded first world problems.
"I hate doing this homework!"
Fuck my life.
"I love living!"