Three weeks passed. I only visited Dakota then crawled back to my room to mull things over. Sabina and Ashton kept postponing their arrival, Landon and the rest are wary of me. I don't blame them, I'm sort of out of it, always thinking of the dream and everything that happened from Devin to Clarisse. Not the sanest bunch, me and Dakota but we're enjoying each other quiet company.
Was that what Dakota meant? Were the songs sung to me the very same that were known to her ears? I doubted it, the lyrics had to much that only I could make sense of.
Like what? Okay, fine you got me there.
But Dakota is too innocent. She’s secure in these walls whereas I’ve been to Hell. I’ve had a reason to anger the king of darkness. Is he the king of darkness? Who cares, it’s a fitting name anyway. Devin’s to informal for me, just as Dad is too much of a loving gesture.
I’m related to the Devil. I’m a mutant’s spawn.
Where is Ileana to cheer me up with her agreements? I looked over to her empty canvas, wishing for a distraction. Stretching out my arm, I studied it. It wasn’t smooth anymore, it bore the tiniest bumps of the signature.
I doubted anybody but me could see it. I was grateful for that. I had enough questioning with why Dakota and I kept falling for hysteria symptoms excessively too much for our liking. Maybe we are crazy.
Dakota’s insane from the lack of love, And I, insane from the overload of love.
Follow the list. The thought still rang clear in my head, just before I passed out. Call Clarisse. Somehow, I forgot the emotional strings that were involved with that call. Curiosity pulled a side and need to stay ignorant pulled at the other.
Was I ready to know about myself? I learned the start of the Vampires, but not mine.
I traced the locket with my hands nervously and stared at the phone. “Dial her already!” Ileana screamed causing me to jump violently and drop the locket.
“What the hell Ileana?” I yelped as I crouched to pick the locket. It was bent open but there was a miniature cross laying in-between the metal. I clasped the cross and it immediately shivered then transformed into a ring.
A Christian cross? What good is that to me? I frowned at it but placed it on my pinky anyway. It did nothing but sooth my warm skin. Why would Julian leave me a useless cross?
I shrugged the thought away and stood up hesitantly. I couldn’t put it off any longer.
Dialing the number that’d been drilled into my head since I could remember, I leaned against the counter’s island and started chewing my nails. Such a bad habit, I should really stop it.
I froze when the number started beeping. I closed my eyes, half-hoping she wouldn’t pick up. I didn’t even practice what I wanted to say. “Oh hi Clarisse, remember me? Of course you do. Well I was just kidnapped by some Devil’s worshippers- you know Devin followers, yeah he’s your enemy. Funny story actually, you see he told me you’re my guardian angel. All I’m wondering if that’s true.”
That could work.
“Hello?” Clarisse answered. My heart leaped at the familiarity and my throat dried as I tried to think of a reply. What could I say? I hadn’t expected my reaction to that simple Hello would have me near wrecks.
“Hi, it’s me.” I slapped myself on the forehead. Clarisse gets at least a dozen phone calls per day, as if she’d remember my voice. “Audrey, it’s Audrey.” I added quickly.
Clarisse laughed and I had to smile a little at the noise. As much as we didn’t see each other, the time we spent together was great. “Of course I know it’s you. Would you really believe I wouldn’t know the sound of my little sister?”
Violently wiping a stray tear, I wondered if I should get straight to the point or simply play along until she slipped. But she’s been with me for so long and not one slip. “How’s school then? Meet any boys?” Clarisse fired in her dainty manner.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Wildmasters is fine. As for boys, I found my mate.” Clarisse cut me off and shrieked questions, from his hair color to powers. I told her everything she wanted to know, I cut out the hardship. After all, I’m the one wanting to avoid him.
Just me.
Defiantly not the type cut out for relationships. I’m too messed up and impatient. “So Clarisse, how is things with you?” I found myself asking, wanting everything in the world to avoid popping out the question.
“Spiffy. Simply Spiffy.” I narrowed my eyes at her squeaky tone.
“What did you do?” I asked, exasperation leaking into my tone.
“Audrey!” Clarisse scolded. I paid no attention and waited silently, knowing she’d succumb and babble everything in the very next second. “I might have accepted another of the offers.”
Understanding immediately, I smiled at the frightened voice of my sister. Why deny it? I loved her and might as well have a family relation with some piece of good in their heart. “Why? I thought the last playboy issue was enough for you.” But I knew I couldn’t keep this up forever.
“Oh you know, good money deal and I seriously needed the ca—“
“Are you an angel?” I blurted out. Slapping my hand over my mouth, I started cursing myself and hoped the line would drop dead since I seemed incapable of killing it. “No, Playboy Bunny and Victoria Secret Angel are two very different matters.” Clarisse informed me, sounding disapproved at my lack of knowledge.
I rolled my eyes at her reply and tried again. “Guardian angel. Are you my guardian angel?” I asked with a small voice. I could imagine Clarisse solid, clutching her phone with icy terror at my words.
Too bad Clarisse, should have applied for a clueless person to guard instead.
Smirking at my inner triumph with not one bit of a silliness leaking into my mood, I waited. “I’m so sorry Audrey. I wanted to tell you but there’s to much and you can’t handle it. No, let me rephrase that. You couldn’t handle it before, now you can but I still…it’s too dangerous.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I snapped. She has gotten too close to my weakness. Mustn’t let that happen. “I could’ve handled it, before all this. Before I knew I was f*cking related to the Devil, ever think it would have been easier if I just knew. No I had Devin tell me and even then he wouldn’t tell me what I wanted to know.”
I was doing it again, making no sense. Thanks to my lack of organization of my thoughts.
“You’re the first generation. Cecile came to me and told me I had to take care of you. And I did but no one knew about us- me and you. If they did, we’d suffer worse fates than those in Hell.”
Confused was my only emotion. All anger and distraught sapped through me as she spoke. “Are you…”
“Yes, I’m those Fallen Angels that were banished. They never keep track of them afterwards anyway. Long story short, I befriended Cecile and ended up having to hide you for all those years.”
“I have to be over seven hundred years, where was I?” I begged, annoyed that I resorted to begging I searched for my mind for something hurtful to say. Anything.
But the line went dead.
My heart did too and it was from the deep chuckle at the end of the line that did that. But strangely enough, I didn’t care after I rebounded from my shock. It only fueled my anger that Devin knew how to torment me. Kill off a friend and now my very own sister.
Is that what he wants? For me to block out everyone I loved -liked until I cared about nothing. Until I became a cold emotionless killing machine, the kind of vampire that is simply a minion. It’s working, I’m turning bitter by each passing minute.
However, just as fast as the carefree/bitter attitude came, it left. Guilt poured right into me as I thought of the realms of Hell, that Clarisse could be in one of them. I couldn’t be cold for so long, not when I’ve been raised by someone like Clarisse.
It kept me calm that Devin could never hold hostage an Angel. Whether a former one or not. It was mentioned once in one of my researches and that kept me quiet.
“My dear one,” I looked up and saw Ileana in her canvas with a creepy smile. “I understand how you feel, and only one way to banish those turmoil’s you call emotions is—”
“I’m fine.” I forced out, smiling. It felt strained against my face but Ileana only narrowed her eyes and accepted it. I wanted to keep my emotions, no matter what the result was.
If I should turn out bonkers, then let it be. In a way, I’ll be normal.
I waited impatiently, tracing my newly acquired ring that Landon kept throwing annoyed glances at but never leaving a comment. Of course he wouldn’t. Especially not when I had the talk-to-me-and-I’ll-skewer-your-eyes-off look, no one dared to even look at me but Dakota.
The only one who understood me so far.
Dakota held my arm tightly, cutting off the circulation of my blood as she staggered not to fall. I bit my tongue and we waited, as obedient as ever for the gate to open and welcome back the two new supernatural as well as the old.
How did it feel to be away so long? I’ve certainly had my taste of adventure but it left me wanting to be secured in these walls despite my tantrum when Jason explained the circumstances at the hospital after my event with the blood fog.
However, when I asked Dakota on our way to the front of the buildings she only replied with a weak answer. “You feel useful when you’re doing it. That you get to avenge the person you lost to those demons, that one of them you slay will help another soul. It’s better than an adrenaline rush.”
Was it mere coincidence that each gifted supernatural had a family disbanded? Whether the entire family or a simple number like one, I don’t know anymore. We were all pawns in this world, being played by either the Seven Angels or Devin.
It was true; I could be only on one side. Never in-between as I hoped I could be.
Only now, I knew what side I needed to be on which is the good side. As Landon said, “Evil never wins.” But whenever that line popped up in my train of thoughts, I would misdirect myself and end up confused with both sides.
I –unashamedly want to be on the winning. The one that’ll keep me alive. Of course that and to who deserves to have me on their side. Not that I matter in any way, I know I wouldn’t tip any scale that’ll help the side win.
“Dakota,” I whispered, she looked up at me with sunken eyes. “I don’t care about rules. You can’t be out here, waiting in this state. Look at you, hardly even standing straight without my help.”
“Don’t look at me with those eyes.” I struggled to keep the pity out of them so I looked away. Landon and Jason talking to Katrina who was giggling away madly and Quinn looking shooting me uneasy glances as if I would come forward and rip their heads off. “If I leave now, it’ll only have me punished.”
No one greeted me when I arrived though. Maybe it’s only forced when it’s their species.
My ears perked up and I twisted Dakota to face me. “Punished? For something as silly as this?” I prodded but Dakota widened her eyes and did a small shake of her head. I knew the message behind that. Therefore, I stayed silent and the new thought came to me.
Maybe even the Heavens aren’t as innocent as the religions make them seem.
As if the Heavens didn’t want me pondering on their innocence, the glossy black limousine arrived and parked in front us. I sighed and ignored Landon as he walked over and reached for my hand.
I felt mad with my lack of sanity. I needed what’s left of it and love will only throw it away.