The smell of breakfast always drifting gently through the air as he stirred. Waking up blurry eyed she was the first thing he saw.
He smiled as he watched her eat. He hushed his smiles as he didn't dare stir one bit, he loved watching her eat gently with her fingers. Sometimes she would tear a piece off with her fingers and dip it in the syrup neatly.
It was his favorite quirk about her. She'd never admit it but she was constantly eating with her fingers. She rarely used utensils but always made sure her hands were clean.
And the way she would eat with her fingers was something of an art. How anyone could eat so gingerly and vulgarly at the same time but still retain class and poise was beyond him.
Just how did she manage to create an etiquette to eating and licking her fingers?
He didn't know but this routine was starting to become a great way for his day to start.
She always chuckled to herself while she watched cartoons before getting up to make him some bacon and eggs. There was a small tension in the air, sentences and commas, whole conversations they had left unheard. Whole expressions left unuttered and that was okay because at the end of his boring fucking life all he wanted were these small insignificant moments that meant more than he could describe.
He'd wake up just in time to sit at the table with her while she sipped her tea. . . William stopped himself from obsessing and broke the peace.
"I'm going to the hanger today I have a few things I have to do. "
Tiaras head bobbed and she turned to him gave a short smile. "Sounds good. I have some stuff to do with Tiff so Ill see you later on. i made you a plate." She smiled and he smiled back at her but they left it at that too afraid of what was stirring between them.
***
The sky stretched over the vast dirt land the smells of pine and desert haze bearing down against William . His deep breathing was labored but the feeling in his chest was intoxicating.
He loved this place and fell deeper in love as the empty air licked upon his skin.
His back remained cool against the light blanket. His mind wondered. He closed his eyes and in one swift motion removed his shirt tucking it behind his head and neck. How was he going to bond with Amina?
Desperately he tried to think of how to relate to her when all he saw when he closed his eyes was Tiara's smile. Even now he could feel the tender thickness of her soft lips.
What was he going to have to do? What was he going to a have to give up to be the man he was supposed to be?
He can not love Tiara. He couldn't let his self get in the way. He wouldn't let his self get in the way.
His phone erupted. He picked it up to move from his distractions but couldn't bring himself to answer the call. As it went to voicemail but he could only stare in confusion. Why couldn't he pick up? Why was he always hesitating? Always acting just a little bit too slow, a little bit too much of something driving his actions. He just wasn't enough.
The cool glass of his phone stuck to his skin.
"Hello Son."
The small silence between whispered tales of insurrection. William missed his father and his home. He knew his father loved him in his way.
"I called to tell you I am proud of you for what you are doing. I respect a man who is true to his word. Thank you for doing this for dad. I know you are doing it for me and it fills me with such joy and gratitude and love that you could still love me enough to want to honor me even through my mistakes. You are doing this favor for me and I know how much it weighs." The recording went on and William focused affixed to his fathers words.
"I never told you but your mother and I also were arranged as well...I know I've been tough on you and I hope you can grow to forgive me.. There just isn't any room for error and I couldn't bare to lose you too. .everything I've ever done is for you.. I love you son. . ."
The line clicked and small lines of emotion rolled down the sides of his face.
William decided he would not pursue Tiara.
***
The chill stuck to her skin and she knew the weather was just perfect. She was definitely in need of some me gym time. Things things were accelerating so quickly in her day to day life. Some time sweating would do her some good.
And it did. She jogged and sat up and her abs suffered a pain. A great kind of pain that makes you wiser and flexible and strong.
But she didn't feel strong as the tears streamed down her face she wiped them quickly. Trying not to let it hurt but it did. She was over flowing as she slowed to a walk.
There was no fighting it. She loved him. All she could think about was him she needed an out. He was going to be getting married. He was very much far away from her no matter how close she wanted to be. They just weren't close. They were a part and that's the way it had be.
She wasn't a sixteen year old girl anymore she knew this was something she couldn't fight no matter how her heart screamed at her for her cowardice. It wasn't about bravery.
She could lose her whole family and life over this feeling. She had to let him go..she could and she would because...
His smile the sparkle of his expressive eyes.
she closed of herself from her feelings locking her cries down and she went numb a little. She killed her emotions as best she could breathing through it as she tried to let William go.
"You are very strong." A voice broke her away from her minds chaos, "despite that tiny waist."
"I, uh, I work out." She said as her eyes met him. He was wearing a hoodie that stopped below his collar bone nothing covering his chest with some grey work out shorts with purple stripes on either side of the pant legs.
He smiles at her and his eyes lit up. "I, uh. I brought you some water. I don't know. Seemed like something you'd like." Luke's face though not pale looked quite flushed and red.
She chuckled at him. Amazed by his inability to hide from her. He usually was so smooth and suave but maybe that just how he appeared maybe deep down he was just as shy as she could be sometimes. He definitely wanted her.
This was always a game. Boy chases girl. Girl chases boy but no one was chasing anyone here. There were just observing each other. One monster to the next. They had history and she still remembered that hot summer nights dream when he planted a small innocent kiss on her untouched lips, many years ago.
"You hungry?" He asked breaking their on going peering between one another.
A small chuckle and then before she knew it they were enjoying McDonald's french fries at a small park in his mustang.. in the late hours of that night.
"So I don't get you Tiara. Do you just get into cars with men you don't know all the time. I mean what would William think?"
"I know when I should feel threatened. You are no threat to me and Will he's my best friend." She scoffed dipping her french fries in some hot mustard sauce.
"Like a big brother type?" He took a breath and sucked his teeth before chastizing her playfully, "You are a freak. " He watched her tentatively as she sat Indian style in the passenger seat next to him. "Can you drive a stick?" He gripped his hands on his manual car shift before staring at her.
The way he looked at her burned her skin with questions. He thought for a second to hid e and become small to push away his affections no matter how nice he may appear to be to her eyes, but then she made a choice. She decided then to let Luke be her distraction.
She shook her head to push William aside.
"I always wanted to learn but no. I can on video games though. So I mean that totally counts." She flirted.
This was her freedom. If she could be Luke's. She could maybe move on and she needed it. She needed some freedom from everything. From her name. From her family but most of all from her feelings.
"We are the same you know." She sort of shouted in the middle of the empty parking lot and she was right.
"I know." He smiled and whispered gaining a confidence he once remembered. Tiara was deep in though staring at his dimples but he was present in his wants.
"I like you," he said all at once wasting no time.
"Do you belong to William?" She ignored his confession but she knew he probably was the better guy for her.
Its not like he had a fiance.
"No one belongs anywhere or to anyone.. ."
"You could belong to me..." They were the same. Both mysterious head strong people who needed love. Needed company she thought curious. "Say yes." He required.
"If you can say that so easily. I'm going to win." She smiled at him full of arogance.
"So this is a game."
"It was from the moment you saw me in Will's car.. you know it. You wanna compete with him but ultimately it will be my choice who wins and...I'll choose me." His hazel eyes burned into her. Drinking in her magic.
The wind caressed their senses pushing for movement. Tiara jumped out of the car and walked over to a trash can and tossed her trash.
She walked back slowly thinking, Williams face emerged in her thoughts as she sat on the hood of his best friends car.
Luke stood and threw his scraps into the trash can. It was some feet away Tiara would have been impressed but she was looking down at her hands and gripped them into fists staring at the popped blood vessels in her hands trying to focus. The top layer sprinkled with brown spots you had to really look at to notice.
She remembered playing ABCD; a kids game about slapping the shit out of your friends to see who can withstand pain better. She didn't know when to say when sometimes.
Luke came and stood in front of her. "Are you even listening to me?" He saw in her eyes she was still far away. Probably thinking on things he usually thought about.
It fascinated him to see a woman like him. Her hands were soft but firm. Her eyes had seen a lot. She was strong. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. She wasn't delicate, or gullible but she was buttery soft and gooey on the inside. She was young but not stupid like most girls were. She was what he was looking for, what he needed. He wanted to forget Miranda.
He was so drawn to Tiara despite the fact he had never really noticed her before--except that one time. . But any women who rides with William is special. He felt mad about her. Why did William attract women he didn't deserve?
He looked beyond her to the city lights around them and let his eyes fall into her. Her brown eyes were like the sky. Never ending. Burning with questions and answers. She needed something from him. She wasn't being reckless and reflective for nothing he thought.
She caught him in her gaze. "You are a cute guy Luke. Why did you bring a defenseless girl like me to a place like this." It wasn't really a question. Tiara was bating him she wanted to know just how much he wanted the chance to be with her.
Luke looked away awkward for just a second. He also had to chose but he didn't know if he could with her. He didn't know if he could quiet his noisy heart. Dry his clams ass hand, he just could pretend to be the sexy jock with her but the smile that lived in her eyes when she watched him he could be the hapless romantic.
He kissed her. He pushed his hands gently through her balled fist holding her hand and pressed himself into her. Their lips touched faintly. She didn't react he pushed harder. She drew his face away with a steady grip on his jaw. He wanted to have her to taste, to try. Didn't ask or warm her up or charm her with pretty words because, she had him.
She must have known, she must have known what effect she had on him. She had to.
She looked not to his hazel eyes again. Trying to see something. She needed to know more but he distracted her.
His hand had found its way to her back and scratched at her flesh, pulling in a deep, slow, rhythm. Something she met with a breathy sigh.
"Kiss me back." He required.
An unwanted smile crawled across her face then. "No."
They met each other again in another embrace and this time she pushed back. He demanded more of her and bit a little more as they kissed.
Her jaw and lips burned. He was being rough. She pushed him suddenly to catch her breath. This was different, rough. Primal.
Luke didn't love her. He desired her. He lusted. She was Cleopatra and he was Caesar. And she was starting to like the power she had over him and the look he maintained in his eyes.
It was a cool night but her skin caught fire at the feel of his sight. She could taste him in the corners of her mouth as she pulled away. Mint.
His mouth was so clean. Their kisses tasted good. Tasted like light. He held her hips in his hands as he bit against her jaw and tried to peak her interest. Suddenly she felt a small pull in her chest. She looked to the horizon of the dark California sky and it was like she could feel William looking at her betrayal but she was never more sure that this was the right decision. This would be her freedom.
It was a small thought but it grew in support in her mind. She could be free this way.. best way to get over one man is to get under another. . . or so people say.
"No marks." She pushed him with more strength this time. He didn't listen giving her arm a firm bite that almost broke the skin.
"I like you." He kissed the bite gingerly and ran his tongue over it which shot a shiver down her spine. She could be free of this servitude to her feelings.
She was unsure if she was angry with him or intrigued. So she settled for an strange kind of chuckle. "Its getting late. I think you should take me home."
"Oh, already. We were having so much fun." He pouted but they sat up and started their walk back to the car.
"Yes, well I can't have you falling in love with me. I'm dangerous, you know. You don't want to become my dog." Realistically she didn't want to lose her self to this night.
She knew she liked him but whether or not she should be making out with an old classmate in the middle of the McDonald's parking lot was a different story completely separate from her life's chaos.
"Does that mean you'll be my owner? You'll take care of all my needs? Feed me. Pet me. Love me." She laughed full throated this time.. he almost sounded like he was begging her to do what he knew she already would.
He was funny but soon she craved the comfort of sleep so she said good night to her short but capable knight, returning to the lobby where William would be sleeping high, high above.
She slipped into bed really quietly but William had fallen asleep in his silky boxers on the couch, Cheetos crumbs still on his lips.
She couldn't wait to get up for work. Things were looking up. Sometimes having friends are all you need to feel energized.
Working the next morning was simple and easy. It was easier to go to work and slip away from William to avoid his questions about where she was last night, definitely did not want to answer that question, but if she could avoid being her cousins maid of honor she would.
She definitely did not want to answer that question.
Amina's threat
a talk with will
"You don't seem excited."
"I wanted to get my nails done today was my appointment, Will. Amina was clearly irritated as she spoke trying to hide her vitriol.
"I'm sorry about your nails but this will be worth it. I promise." That was his answer for everything.
It will be worth it. Im sorry. He aways had some excuse for why his way was the best way.
"Babe can't this wait. I mean I've been looking forward to this—"
"Sure but you can get your nails done whenever I want to share something with you."
Amina went to argue but her voice fell short. She could never deny him anything he begged for. She was silent as she followed his lead out of the hotel.
The sun hung high in the sky blinding her as they waited for their car to be pulled up bu the bell hop.
William smiled but it never quite got to his eyes like it used to when they were younger. Amina found her way clumsily to William's arm.
"So tell me, where will we be going?"
"No way don't spoil the surprise." She pouted her lips and gazed into his heart.
"Don't look at me like that I'll lose my nerve you are too cute to stare at any man that way." He kissed her lips gently. "You just have to trust me this...this is important to me." He seemed to look though the sky line enjoying and calculating with every passing second.
As the their car pulled up William couldn't help but think attentively to his emotions. He was ready this was their moment. He was going to propose. The small object weighed more than the sun as it scorched his thigh throughout the lining of his pocket.
"You drive. I know you love it." Amina smiled at him unable to tell him she didn't like driving it was just that one time...it didn't matter much to her she just wished he could see and pay attention to her likes and dislikes the way he payed attention to his own needs and loves.
He smile hung lower but William could not see it from the passenger side. "Follow siri, I already pulled up the directions."
He slid his phone onto the phone holster on the dash of his 350Z.
"Okay. Well in the mean while tell me how things are."
"Well I think I finally made a real friend. I mean kinda doesn't count because we have been friends since we were like three so I have many feelings there that make it easy to be fast friends."
"I know exactly how you feel, " She paused to take a sharp turn that siri didn't prepare her for, "sorry. Me and Sae Ann, we are very close now despite not seeing each other for 12 years. We sill love each other. Your body and mind never forget a real friend. The fit in your heart as easily as any family member."
The trees William watched pass by soon were replaced by brush and dry sand. "We are just about there."
"Uggh I hate this I am destroying my pumps."
"Oh come on really like I'm going the extra mile here I'm trying to relate to you you could at least try to be interested. Be considerate."
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Hello Loves!
How do you feel about Tiara and William anyone as nervous about the consequences of their actions?
I swear Ima have heart attack writing this book! HA!
So who do you think is the most lovely of the girls?
Im really partial to Tiara but Amina also holds a special place in my heart.