It feels like as soon as my head hits the pillow, it's time to wake up a moment later. I'm trying to take advantage of the comfy bed, feeling like I'm getting a massage from only laying in it. Levi would cringe if he saw my bed - it's a years old double mattress on the floor.
I can't afford much else, but at least it's a sheltered place to rest my head.
I'm lucky for that at least.
I turn over when the door opens, expecting to see Levi coming in to check on me as he promised to before we went to bed. It's his mum, and she's carrying a baby in her arms.
"Uncle Levi," she sings, not realising it's me in place of her son. "Little Beau wants a snuggle while Oma makes him his breakfast."
I pull my body up, watching the shock wash over her features. "Oh! I'm sorry."
I hold my hand out to her, signalling that it's okay. "No, I'm sorry. Hello again."
Selma smiles. "We need to stop meeting in these ways. Where's Levi?"
I nod. "We do. In the guest room, I think. He insisted that I sleep in here."
I direct my gaze on the tiny beauty in her arms, watching his little feet bounce up and down, toes covered by the light blue baby grow. I can't take my eyes off him, almost mesmerised by his dark blue, marble eyes, long lashes, wispy brown curls and chubby cheeks.
I giggle when he gives me a half-smile, turning his face into Selma's chest. "Are you shy?"
Selma laughs, planting several kisses on the back of his head. "You're not shy. You love people, don't you, darling."
Beau grins, face still tucked into Selma's chest, eyes on me.
I wave in his direction, raising my voice. "Hello, cutie."
Beau's hands go over his face, and I glance up at Selma, laughing. "It must be confusing for him. He's never seen me before."
She jiggles him about in her arms. "Say hallo to Tilly."
I buzz on the inside, knowing that she remembers my name. It isn't something that usually happens. I seem to blend into the background.
Beau's eyes go wide all of a sudden, his face turning red. Selma bows her head to see what he's doing. "Oh, and he's pooping." She laughs, "Perfect timing, huh?"
And then she disappears out of the room.
I lift my arms up in the air, stretching to release my tired muscles. Not feeling brave enough to venture out of Levi's room yet, I use some time to test out the shower in his ensuite. The hot water pelts me in different directions, almost sending me back to sleep. I borrow some of Levi's shower gel, smelling inside the bottle before I pour it onto my hands. It's black-peppery and fresh.
I've always thought Levi smelt wonderful when he came to the shelter and now I know why. The scent is overpowering the steam and absorbing into my skin. It says that you can wash your hair with it too, so I give it a shot, enjoying the little head massage as I gently rub it into my hair.
I switch the water off and jump out, dressing back into my dirty clothes. Not ideal, but I don't have much of a choice. Levi is sat on his bed when I come out of the shower room, Beau on his lap.
"Nice shower?" he says, bouncing the gurgling baby up and down.
I nod, running my fingers through my hair. "Yes, thanks," I walk his way, bending down to smile at Beau. "Hello again, lovely boy."
Beau starts to stick his tongue out, spit oozing out when he starts to blow raspberries. It looks like he's had a change of clothes, the bib around his neck covered in a few white milk stains.
"I think he likes you. Not just anyone gets a raspberry," Levi laughs, steadying the baby when he kicks his chubby thighs.
I hold my arms out on a whim, hoping that he'll fall into them. Beau frowns at me, probably wondering who the heck I am, then reaches forwards, flopping towards me.
I arrange him in my arms so he's facing forward, letting him sit on my forearm. "When your mum brought him in here earlier, he did a poo. Does that mean he likes me too?" I laugh.
Levi smirks, winking an eye. "That means he loves you. Welcome to the fam, sweetheart."
I can't contain my giggles.
"You're an idiot."
Levi grabs a towel from his washing basket and heads for the bathroom. "Did you hear that Beau? The cheek of it."
I stutter. "Are you leaving me alone with the baby?"
"Yeah, I won't be long. There's his block toy on the bed. Play with him and you'll be friends for life."
I gawk at the man in front of me, not used to such responsibility. "Maybe it's better if you get your mum back in here."
"You'll be fine. Beau'll show you how to play," and then he closes the bathroom door.
Taking his advice, I sit Beau down on the bed, watching him pull the square toy towards him. I pick up the circle block and put it into the hole, passing over the triangle to Beau.
"Triangle," I say, pointing to the hole it goes inside. "Can you put it in there?"
Beau tries to put it in the space I just put the circle, making a racket when he bangs the plastic together.
I take hold of his hand and move it to the right place. "Tilly help," I slide it in, cheering when it hits the bottom of the tub. "Yay! Clever boy!"
Beau looks over at me, starting to put his hands together in the clapping motion.
There's something about babies that bring such joy.
I copy him. "You know you're clever, don't you? Yes, you do."
A tiny smile pulls at his lips, the sheer cuteness melting my heart. This kid needs to be a model.
"Leeeii!"
The tiny person toddling into the room stops when he gets through the door, looking around the room. Beau kicks his legs, babbling at the blonde haired toddler.
"Beeeoo!" he says, coming over on his tippy toes, trying to climb up the bed.
Beau leans forward, glancing down. One chubby finger pointing in the toddlers direction. I lend a helping hand and lift our visitor up on the bed, trying to stop him manhandling the baby when he grips Beau's head, planting kisses on his cheek.
"Aw, that's nice," I cringe when he seems to get rough. "Let's be gentle with the baby."
I feel like it's Tilly's daycare.
"Ba-ba," he says, giving Beau another round of kisses.
"George?" a blonde woman pops her head around the door.
"Mama!"
"Here you are," she sings, walking up to him, her fingers out and wriggling. "I'm gonna get you."
George shrieks with laughter, falling back when she grabs hold of his tiny body. "No, mama."
"Hey, Tilly," she says to me, smiling big. "I'm Laine, Levi's sister. We didn't get the chance to meet the other day."
I grin, taking the block away from Beau when it goes into his mouth. Diseases could be on it. "Hey."
The bathroom door opens, Levi filling the space. "What's all this noise out here?"
"Leeeiii!" George says, pushing Laine away until she puts him on the floor.
Levi bends down, wet hair brushed back off his face. "Hey, spud. You hungry?"
"Narna," George replies, climbing onto Levi's knees.
Laine glances over at me. "George loves his uncle Levi."
To prove a point, Levi swoops George up, landing him on his back. "Come on, George. Let's go eat."
And the pair of them squeal, thudding down the stairs.
Levi
After breakfast, I drive Tilly home, telling her that I'll pick her up tonight before our shift. It was lovely having her over. The kids and my family seeming to love her. Not that I expected any different, she's easy to like. Even, if she doesn't believe it.
I stop off at the out-house to wish Bailey look for her operation this afternoon. They're using heat to laser off the tissue growing around her ovaries and Fallopian tubes in the hopes of it lessening her pain and improving her chances of getting pregnant. It's over two years now that her and my brother have been trying for a baby with no luck.
Endometriosis is an evil thing.
We're all praying that this works and they'll get their baby soon.
And some relief for Bailey.
It's tearing them both up.
I've lost count on the amount of times that Noah has come to me in tears, telling me that Bailey is in such agony that she's almost passing out.
I let myself inside the house, finding them both in the lounge. Noah holds his fist out for me to bump when I pass by him on the sofa, Bailey curled up beside him. My legs stretch out when I throw myself down on the armchair, feet crossing over.
"How're you feeling, pretty lady?"
Bailey gives me a shaky smile. "Nervous. I just want it over with now."
I sit forward to get a better view, the usual pink flush in her cheeks gone. "I bet. Everything will be all right, sweetie. I remember getting rushed into hospital when I was at school because my appendix was near to bursting. It was over in a few hours."
Noah scrapes back her hair, he himself looking ill. "I'll be there. Waiting for you to wake up."
Bailey glances up. "I know you will. You're my rock, Captain."
I'd never understood the nickname she gave him. "Where did Captain come from? Do you guys have some weird fetish in bed or something?"
Bailey giggles. "No, it's from his sailing. Ever since I saw him sail his boat, the name stuck with me."
"Oh, that makes more sense," I reply, pleased to see her smiling.
Noah shakes his head. "You and your dirty mind. Do you think I'd be into dominating her, really?"
I shrug. "I don't know what you do in your spare time," I hold up my hands, "it's your business."
Bailey starts to sit up, checking her wrist a few times. "We should start making tracks to the hospital. I don't want to be late."
"Okay," Noah says, helping her up when she struggles.
I help out by getting her hospital bag from the hallway and taking it to Noah's car, seeing Laine and my parents waiting for Bailey outside the house. While they wish her luck and give her a thousand-and-one hugs, I shut the car boot.
"I'll see you later," Laine says, squeezing the life out of her best friend. "I love you. So, so much. All the pain will be worth it when you get that positive pregnancy test."
Bailey sniffles. "I hope so."
Laine's eyes fill up. "It will. You'll see."
Mama gets in on the action, wrapping her arms around them both. "The others wish you luck. Edward and Delilah will see you tonight when they're back from their trip."
"Okay," Bailey says, wiping her eyes when they separate. "Betty and Finn sent me the most lovely message this morning. Wishing me luck."
"We all love you," Dad says, wrapping an arm around mama who looks like she wants to get in the car too.
Bailey blows a kiss. "Thank you all for being so wonderful. I feel incredibly lucky right now."
Noah opens the car door. "Come on, darling. We best be going."
"Bye," Bailey says, looking incredibly young as she climbs into Noah's Audi.
We stand back, watching them drive away, knowing this operation is going to change their lives forever.
...
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