Guys being that I have been gone so long you need to reread the last 3 chapters to fully understand this one and to refresh your memory...reading the last chapter is a must though.
Also...sorry for the wait, the explanation for it is at the end of the chapter guys 😔😔😔
OH AND WHEN YOU SEE THESE '***' play the media from YouTube.
Perspective of Rose
Delilah Thomas
.........
I see that thing up there; the monster. I see it. Yelling and roaring and breathing fire that burns through the walls of this crumbling building. I stand there watching this-this thing scare away everything in sight. The eyes of this unknown new creation are as cold as the first day of snow in the winter, but for some reason I feel something. Something that makes me want to run. It makes me want to run like everyone else around me.
My body is refusing me though. It won't let me be normal like the crowd around me.
Why can't I run with them? Why am I always the outcast? Doing the opposite of every soul that is around me? Why are my legs denying me the satisfaction of finally fitting in with the crowd of my peers and my elders? I want to fit in. I want to run along side them. I want to be apart of the movements they make, the running in fear; I can do that. I've ran in fear before; I've scurried away from danger while trying to hold on to the little humanity that I had left. So why not now? This should be the same, right? I see a monster, my heart is racing, and I feel...fear?
Fear? It should be fear, but why is it not fear? Of course I feel a sense of fear, but it's not the fear that everyone else here is feeling. Their fear is stemming from the unknown, but mine is stemming from within me; the fear of knowing how this ends. I have seen this within myself. This boy is the face of self destruction, the effect of not having an ounce of self love. Look up nothing, and in his eyes, his picture would be the face to pop up. The only difference between me and him is his fire. That rage is so prominent that it can only be matched by hell's fire.
Me on the other hand, my self destruction is cold and silent...it goes unnoticed. My tears, my screams, my cuts, my bruises, my dimming light - they all go unnoticed. As if I'm isolated in a cold corner just waiting to die.
He's fire and I'm ice you could say.
My shaking body began to move towards him. I was fearful, not like these souls around me, but fearful that I would not be able to make it to him in time to stop him from destroying himself. I don't know who he could be, or what struggle has occurred to turn him into this raging fire spurring bull, but something is telling me to, to save him.
I have to get to this boy with a ball of fire where his heart is suppose to lie.
"You see dat' don't you," A voice from unknown whereabouts called to me, " That's who he sees himself as, but dat's not him....not my man wit' da' plan." He spoke sadly about the fire breathing menace.
"Everybody sees that. Everybody. But I know you will see different, you will unda'stand."
"I need you ta' see him, the real him."
"He may think dat's him, but you can see what I see, you have the eyes.... Look to him Delilah."
"Please let me out. Let me hurt! I need ta' hurt!" I heard in the distance.
That voice. That weak cracking voice....it came from that-that thing?
That pleading, scared, hurting voice, was all I needed to hear. It gave me the strength to look at the hell-bound spirit.
Wait....what is he doing?
The monster...he's...morphing.
He'd changed now - once my eyes connected to his; he changed. His exterior went from flaking flaming scales to a caramel tone. His face retorted from that of a demon to one of a god. This boy was beautiful; a creation broken away from the heavens and plummeted down to earth. He seemed to be so pure, like the being that was just before me was a mere dream. My admiring of this new form was short lived though - very short lived - because in a matter of seconds he began to change once more. His once clear smooth skin began to sizzle and steam. With every crackle and pop a tattoo was left behind; one by one as if they were telling me a story of a timeline. The last, and biggest, was the one sprawled across his chest and torso; it looked to be a serpent in the form of a woman.
I'd thought that for a moment the monster I had seen was a dream, but I now know it was real; it was him. The smoke spewing from the side of his mouth let me know it was real. The small particles of sparkling flames and ashes flowing around in the air was his doing. His ink covered chest moved up and down at a hard and heavy pace, but it was the hole... the dark black hole raging with fire that my eyes couldn't depart from. His heart is gone. Up in vibrant flames it seemed his heart was burning.
That's where it's coming from - the evil. It stems from his diminished heart.
"Deferred from his course,
there is still hope yet.
There; it is there.
Seen, but not seen;
Protected, but unknown by the protector.
The light is of importance- it is of him.
He doesn't see, but you can.
So do this;
Drag him!
Drag him until he bleeds,
Drag him until he sees the velvet red he'd thought
dried and withered away with his heart.
Drag him into stupidity!
Drag the boy into a corner until his heart races again
and it drives him into impulsive actions.
Crush him!
Crush the demon!
Crush that demon!
Crush the demon - with your arms.
Crush him so deeply with the embrace of your own
that his only defense will be to crush you back.
Kill him! Kill him.
The one there shall no longer dwell; real to the naked eye.
But a hallucination to the true eyes.
Kill the beast.
A fire with a fire is dangerous.
It must be softly.
A single strike to the heart is the way.
A single soft strike to the heart will show you pass the illusion."
That language! The language of the art; the language of my heart.
"Only you.
No one else.
Only you and no one else. You are perfect for him
only.
There is a single piece that I took with me.
The one that misses is the one needed most.
Delilah - take my place as that piece.
The Perfect Piece."
"I know you understood what I said Delilah; what I spoke is your language."
"Who are - who are-,"
"Only you." The voice spoke.
Soon an orb appeared near the fire breathing assailant. A small, faint hand appeared on the boys face, and it seemed as if it was caressing his skin.
"Man wit' da' plan." The voice sighed with relief and...happiness?
"I told you ta' wait for me, didn't I? I-I made good on my promise now. So-So now make good on yours, okay?"
After those words were spoken the hand soon vanished, along with the voice and the orb...and everything else for that matter. There was only me and the boy with fire replacing his heart. All those people from before, all those surroundings - they were nothing but shadows vastly passing us by. There was only me and this new form of a monster. We were the only two figures that could be made out.
There stood me and then there stood him -far taller than I could ever grow- huffing and wheezing something fierce. The nerves in my body had finally fallen back under my command, meaning that if I wanted to run now I could. I had a choice that I could make. My body was my own again, I could leave -who knows where I would leave to - but I could walk away from this entire encounter, and wander around this white mist filled arena.
I could leave.
I truly could.
I could walk away from this-this thing and never ever ever look back.
I. Could. Leave. Him.
But I refuse to take that option...
I could never leave you!
That statement, 'I could never leave you' , bored it's way through every vessel within my mind. That thought roared within me with a fire; determination. It made itself known. My mind made sure that I had an understanding; that I could never leave this person. Every single atom that made up this body that my soul is sheltered by made that statement apart of their daily function. My broken down fragmented disoriented soul found comfort in that single thought ; it found peace.
I knew nothing of this boy in front of me, yet just the thought of leaving him makes me repulsive - as if the thought of me stepping away from his side was forbidden. There was something in me that had taken a silent oath to stay next to this person for forever. The guilty taste that the thought of leaving him left in my mouth was enough to make me vomit a thousand times.
In that moment 'I could never leave you' became apart of me.
"Never, okay? I'll never leave you." I whispered lowly towards him as I took a few careful steps in his direction.
I know he probably couldn't hear me, but it just felt like I had to reassure him. It felt like it was a must that I let him know I would be here.
'You have the eyes...look to him Delilah'
"But I am looking to him," I thought to myself. "What else is there for me to see other than this beautiful creature that is in a category of his own."
He seemed so deranged; he was so upset and angry. Spitting out fumes and sending up bombs of flame into the air in every direction. I watched as his fires blast through the shadow-like figures of silent runners. Ever so often I would be able to make out a petrified face of a passerby. With each blast that struck them, some would diminish, and others would become disfigured before returning to their previous ghost like state, but one thing never changed - the direction they all flowed.
They still seemed to be running.
I focused my gaze back onto him. The screaming fire boy clutching at his temples while roaring out, in what sounded like, agony. His screeches grew in volume, and my hands flung to my ears. My attempt did little to shield my eardrums from his banshee like cries though.
The more I watched him, the more I began to listen to him...and then I heard it. I could make out what was really going on.
He wasn't roaring at all, he was yelling at something; or at someone.
"No!"
"Noooooooo!"
"No!"
"I! Told! You! No!"
"Ahhhhhh! Stop!"
"Noooooo!" He yelled out.
He looked like a crazy man standing there screaming at nothing. His attention wasn't on me, or the shadow figures passing by. So what could he be so upset with? Who could he be so upset with.
He was starting to really scare me.
Just as that thought passed by, I seen the flesh that covered his arms started to slowly transform back into scales. He was diverting back into his previous form of a true monster it seemed.
"You ain't comin'! No!"
"Who is he talking to?" I thought.
"There's no one here."
He must be insane! He's got to be! He is starting to make me fearful of my own safety. Who knows what he'll do to me if he sees me standing here. Clearly he's a mad man.
Just then more scales appeared on his forearms. His teeth even started to become bigger and sharper. His nails grew into ragged claws that could slice through steel in a single second.
He continued to say the word 'no'. Demonically screaming it to the top of his burning lungs.
I wish I wasn't so afraid right now, I wish I could just walk up to him and fix whatever's wrong...
***
"...I wish-I wish I could help you."
I looked at him pacing and screaming. Just watching him like this made me feel something other than fear, something other than a need to run; it made me feel sad...and worried. He was so upset and I wanted nothing more than to go over there and try my hardest to fix it all for him.
"I know I can't do much, but I'll... I'll try my hardest to help you."
And my words seemed to echo through whatever this was. They sounded beautiful and majestic, before they finally echoed into what sounded like an orchestra. A beautiful beautiful orchestra! Pianos violins and-and trumpets and even harps! It was amazing! Truly amazing. A sensational feeling passed through me. The music coming together was making my entire body tingle with joy. I was being lifted off of my feet by this noise...that's the only way I can explain it. It was blinding me with it's enchanting noise.
"Ahhh!" I semi screamed in pain. I immediately flung my hands to my eyes.
I couldn't bask in the beauty of it all for long of course. Shortly after I heard the glorious sounds of purity softly start to play, my eyes began to burn. They stung so badly that I had to close them and try to rub the pain away from them. It felt like daggers were repeatedly being shot into them, one by one, and I could feel the blow of every last one of them. As all this was happening, I noticed the instruments sounded as though their peak was being reached; the climax was approaching. They played loudly and in harmony, while I stood there hunched over massaging my eyes - trying not to cry too loudly from the pain of my eyes.
"Ugh! What is happening?!" I said in a hushed grunt.
Tears streamed from my eyes, rivers poured from me and pooled at my feet. Still though, I could not open them; the pain was too much. The scent of sweetness and freshness started to fill my airways; flowers. I could feel them tickling my bare feet and swaying all around me. The scent was becoming stronger as well, meaning they were growing in number, and with a scent that sweet they had to be as bright and colorful as the best summer day.
I tried to open my eyes again to see what exactly was happening, and also so I could see if any attention was being drawn to me, but my attempt resulted in more pain waves pushing through me.
"Come on! Stop! I gotta help!" I rubbed more aggressively at my eyes.
And then,
the music stopped...
And my eyes ceased the pain...
And finally - they opened.
I could faintly hear the boy over there, but now I could understand him even more. He was saying whole sentences now.
What surprised me even more was the hushed muffled voice that I could also hear. I could tell it was the from a few moments ago; the one pleading to get out of somewhere.
The soft timid speaker was clearly being overpowered by the monster like boy, so I couldn't make out what exactly was being said, but I could hear the response the beautiful flaming creature gave off to the anonymous person.
"You know I can't do dat'! I'm doin' this fa' us!"
...
"No! You too damn stupid! You'll fuck up! You'll fuck up everything!"
...
"I gotta do it! It's da' only way!"
...
"You made it dis' way! So shut da' fuck up and pick up da' damn pieces!"
...
"...cause I gotta make sho' you stay safe. You don't deserve ta' even be alive, but we here. And we all we got, so I gotta do it this way."
Did I hear correctly? He sounded so, so soft.
My vision was blurry, very blurry, but I could make out two figures that were giving off two auras. One was a bright red that I quickly figured was the boy of fire, and the other was one that I hadn't seen before. It was a fresh, bright, a white-like color. It wasn't as big as the red one, but its brightness made up for its size.
I didn't notice until now, but the music had blinded not only my eyes, but all my senses. They were all starting to come back to me with quickness.
My eyes being the last to completely return to me...my vision was anew, but it was different.
It was then that I seen the truth behind the madness.
I could hear, feel, taste, smell, and see everything in a new way - making everything that I was seeing in front of me more heartbreaking. The entire scenario playing out before my very eyes was chipping at my core. There he was. A young boy there, they looked to be identical - only the one behind the boy of fire was softer on the eyes. He made me feel comfort when I looked to him. He sat directly behind this monster his back to him and his head hanging low.
"No! I fuckin' said no!" The fire breathing illusion spat towards the boy behind him.
"You can't be like dis'! Everybody's not bad, if you would juss-,"
"Juss' what?!" He growled viciously turning to the bright male that looked identical to him, "Let you take charge?! Let you lead?! You made me into dis'! I am you! I'm hea' ta' protect yo' weak ass! Cause da' second I'm gone you gone get shot at," He looked to the boy's hands and then pointed his index finger to the ground, "And we clearly can't take anotha' blow. So shut up and pick up da' pieces like I told you."
The boy of mysteriously blinding light looked out to the shadows of runners, and sighed while holding both of his clutched hands even closer to his chest.
"I know why you hea'. I know why I made you, I know, " He dropped his gaze sadly, "But dis' can't be da' only way. Pushin' the world away can't be the way."
"Stop being' so fuckin' naive!" He roared.
"The world? Them?" He angrily cast his hands at the dark ashes of people fading past the two of them, "Will neva' care about us! Even if you were the version they got ta' see! They da' reason I'm hea'! Look at what they did ta' us!"
"You gotta give somebody a fuckin' chance!"
"So they can stab us again?!"
"Because dis' is no way ta' live!"
"When will you fuckin' learn?!"
"When will you let us heal?!" The brightly shining boy retorted standing to his feet; chest to chest with his identical menace.
"Fa' what?! Ain't shit ta' heal for! Our whole reason fa' livin' is gone, and it's all yo' fault! That's why I'm around!"
"If you would just give me a chance ta'-,"
"Get us killed." He finished sarcastically before smoke left his nostrils.
"I mean," He dropped his head, "....Isn't dat' what we wanted anyway?" He spoke lowly. His voice every bit of serious and guilty.
I don't believe my heart could have crumbled anymore, so the pain that statement caused was diverted directly to my soul. The way they looked at each other right now, as if the two of them were really considering death as an option, only made me ache more.
"Yeah it is," He answered calmly and tenderly, which surprised me, "But dat' would be too easy. Dis' life we livin' now, dis' pain we feelin', dis' guilt...we deserve every single bit of it. Dyin' would be da' pussy way out. We fucked up, and we deserve all of dis' shit happenin' right now. The least we can do is let lil man know we sorry fa' what we allowed ta' happen. We made him a promise, it's only right we see it through, even if it's hell ta' do it."
"Fa' lil man." The boy sadly spoke.
"Fa' lil man." He agreed as a cloud of smoke left his lips.
I probably couldn't stop crying right now if I wanted to. I'm shedding these tears because now I get it. I understand it all. That bright boy that's pleading to get out is being contained...by himself. A part of him that he created to protect the real him from the hits and kicks that he can't possible take anymore of. All this time I've been thinking he's been fighting with the world and everybody in it. That isn't the case at all though. In fact, it's the complete opposite. He isn't fighting the world and causing havoc on it; he's fighting and causing havoc on himself. This boy is split into two entities that are at each other's neck. He's at war with himself. Killing and destroying himself.
That realization caused me to break down into a world of my own because now I understood. He was just like me. Battling and destroying himself.
I understand.
"The eyes of understandin' and compassion. The eyes of empathy and care. The eyes of healing...I knew you could do it."
That small child voice again...the one from before.
"Do you know how hard it must be fa' him? Fightin' with himself day in and day out just ta' keep his real feelings and emotions contained. Beatin' himself into pieces ova' somethin' that was inevitable; somethin' bound ta' happen. And then on top of all that you don't have not a single soul ta' see you as a person, but rather a monster. Not a single person ta' empathize and feel your pain. No one ta' see why you built a wall to protect your already broken down self. They only judge and fear the person dat' it looks like you become."
But I get it.
"Even you feared him for a moment Delilah. You even thought negative of him, resulting in the way you viewed him to change."
"I... I don't recall when I-,"
"You were scared of him. You even considered him ta' be insane, do you rememba' what happened afta' you perceived him ta' be those things? What changed about him?"
Thinking back to those thoughts I had, I remembered exactly what happened to him after I thought them.
"The scales..." I gasped lowly in realization.
"Precisely. You were thinkin' like everybody else, so you saw him the way everyone else would, you judged him without peelin' back his layers, without knowing him - without seein' him through eyes dat' looked pass the surface, but into his real world."
"And now dat' you've seen him and what da' truth is, you can now fulfill your destiny Delilah."
"What destiny?"
"Ta' save my man wit' da' plan."
I snapped my neck in every direction the voice echoed; trying to find a set of eyes to connect with so that I could show him how foolish he sounded. How could I save him when I can't even save myself. I'm just as deferred and splintered as he is. To save him would be impossible for me to do.
"Look at me! How can I possibly-,"
"Rememba' the language Delilah...you must drag him, crush him, and then kill him with a single soft strike. Only then will you be face to face wit' da' real him behind his fire wall. Make dat' wall no more. Save him for me and fa' you."
"But-,"
"You've seen him...the him behind the facade he's at war with. Now it's time he sees you."
"No-,"
"You can do it, juss' rememba' the language."
"No! What if I can't help?! What if what I do is not enough?!"
"Juss' that alone let's me know you can...juss' you bein' you will be enough."
"But what if-,"
"Delilah, what is your favorite art?" The voice interrupted me for the hundredth.
What would make you ask such a thing?
I knew the answer to that, but it was so unfamiliar to the rest of the world that I knew he wouldn't even understand. It was a art that mended trash into treasures; made something worth nothing worth millions. The art style was too difficult for just anyone to actually get into, but it was also far too beautiful for me to just ignore. To put broken pieces - big and small - into a work of art, and for it to become even more beautiful than it was before - that was miraculous to me. To watch the glues and the pastes and the saps fill the places that were once undone and make those places , not only complete again, but breathtakingly amazing. To see the gold mixed in with the very thing holding the masterpiece together, was a privilege to me.
The smaller the pieces you're working with, the harder the job. It is one of the most time consuming, most difficult, most delicate arts on earth. It could hurt you if you're not careful, it could cause you to bleed out if you allow the pieces to touch you in the wrong way. This art....it is a difficult one.
But it is worth every bit of blood, sweat, and time.
Once you've finished, and the art has dried and molded together as one; you can then witness the glory of it all.
The art of,
"Kintsugi."
After I said that there was silence, but there was also a shift in the atmosphere around me. It seemed like a barrier that was once around me had vanished. I felt exposed.
Just like that my incognito presence had been compromised; I was revealed to the open, to him. The first thing my panicking gaze zoomed in on were eyes that were already boring into me. The boy that seemed to be more calm and peaceful was still oblivious to me since his attention was solely on whatever it was beneath his feet. He was cowered towards the ground and picking at something that I could not make out. Whatever it was though, it seemed to pain him to touch, but he didn't stop picking at us
I hesitantly looked back to the boy who's body had started to create a small layer of steam on top of his skin. He slowly removed his dark eyes from me and turned his head so that he could get a glimpse of his opposite self that sat behind him. Once he seen that he was in the blind when it came to me, he focused his cold eerie gaze back to where I stood.
If my feet would comply with me I would've ran, if they would just give me the strength to dash in any other direction but his, I would. Sadly, I could not. Instead my legs moved towards him, carrying the rest of my body with them...
and it would be a lie if I said they moved against my will.
Because, it was me forcing myself to do this.
I knew I needed to see this through.
I had to.
The bodies moving around me, the bodies of the people running in fear, were rushing pass me like a gushing river. They made me stand out even more than I already did. The steaming man turned his body to me completely, and the stance he took made me brace myself. I knew I would have to fight off this illusion.
"He isn't real to you Delilah, he is fake. You have to break through to the real him." I thought to myself.
By now he had a small tornado forming at his feet; a tornado of hot dust and fire was started to consume him.
I knew I could not look at him differently though, I could not scream and run and judge him. I had to face him as though he was the boy behind him. I had to look at the real him, not the image of him that he made to be true. So, that's what I did; I kept my eyes planted firmly on the boy that was sitting with his back turned and bleeding hands. I watched him as he silently cried and whimpered towards the ground.
His face wasn't in my view, but I could tell he was weeping, and seeing the helplessness wash across his body made my heart feel a strong weakness. I have never felt such deep distress before. To see this boy, in complete desolation with no one. He is so unhappy and lost, yet, no one helps him. No one has ever stopped to come to his aid with a 'hey, are you okay'. They never even attempted to see him behind all of this faking. This boy. This boy is broken. And not a single person has come to his rescue. He had to fabricate and manifest this whole person in front of me just so he could feel less alone. He has been treated so badly that he had to create something from his mind to keep him in check.
And even after he created this body guard, to keep him in and keep people out, he still had to deal with the fact that he hated himself. He was killing himself more than the people judging him ever could.
That's why I was crying right now. Because, I know the feeling. I've been in his shoes. To be judged and not be known. To have no one. To kill yourself without dying physically, but spiritually. To hate who you are. I know him; and I'm gonna make it to him. I'm gonna be there for him. I will see him for him. I will be something I don't think he's had. I will be...
His friend.
I tuned out the man of fire that once poured fear directly into my heart.
Even when he roared.
Even when his eyes were on mine.
And even when he stepped closer into my domain....
I didn't budge...didn't even flinch.
But he did.
He shuddered away from me as my tears for the boy behind him fell down my face. His gestures didn't stop me though.
'A single soft strike to the heart will show you pass the illusion'
I must kill this beast with kindness, and then destroy that saddened boys insecurities. I must save him from others....and himself .
I reached out for him and looked at the fire breather through my blurry eyes and spoke, " I will never let you hurt alone now that I've found you. I will never let you hurt alone." I assured with promise.
My hand gripped his cheek while the rest of him remained paralyzed. I smiled as I caressed his face. I had started to become transparent at the point where our skin came in contact, but the boy picking at the ground was becoming more visible to me.
Roses...I smell so many roses.
It was then that cognizance took a hold of me. The tears that were streaming down my cheeks were making a pond around us. With ever one of my tears that splashed against the ground a flower was born, surrounded by a shimmering gold light that grew around our bodies. A pond of roses. So many tears were shed that there was an entire bed of luscious smelling flowers engulfing us, along with their gold light that accompanied every last one of them.
I smiled looking at the garden that trapped our bodies within their glowing clutch.
"A place that is surrounded with flowers like these is where you will find me." I said in a shaking voice. I didn't know where those words came from, but they felt right.
"He said I was perfect, but only for you. I was only perfect for you." I smiled remembering the small young voice that guided me before. "He told me that I was the perfect piece."
"I will never trust you." He challenged me.
"Then I will show you that you can." I pleaded.
"I will neva' love you." He spat at me.
"Then I will show you that reconciliation within yourself is possible, I will show you that loving yourself is possible. Even if you refuse to love me, I will make you love you."
"You will hurt me deeply in the future. You will leave." He growled with frustration.
My hand that was at my side rose to cup the other side of his face; now both of my hands held his head in a warm embrace. My entire body was becoming transparent, and the boy behind this figment of imagination was glowing just as bright as these flowers as I said,
"Then I will hurt myself just as much. We will hurt together."
"And then," I smiled as more tears slipped passed my lips and to my chin,"After all the hurt has been revealed, after it's all been shed...we're gonna heal, we're gonna start again."
"Who are you?" He asked me.
But the way he asked me was like I had to say just the right thing. As if there was some sort of password that needed to be spoken to him. If I messed this up, I could lose it all. This whole battle to save that boy back there would be lost.
So...I spoke the words of my language in hopes that they would be the right ones. I placed my hand softly over the flames that replaced his heart, and then looked back to his eyes.
"A gift to the unsuspecting. I am your rose."
My eyes must have amplified ten times their original size because there was no way, just no way, that this boy - that had just destroyed an entire ecosystem - was standing here smiling! And at me!
He turned away from me after removing my hand from his body. I watched as he touched the real version of himself, and without hesitation he allowed his body to start falling onto the kneeling boy's back.
"Don't break him again. We can't take it." He said before he was absorbed - along with his shield - into the world boy.
It was now me and the true identity of the man in this bed of roses I had conjured up. I could finally see what held his attention. He was picking up pieces, puzzle pieces at that, and trying to frantically put them back together. The pieces seemed to be a type of glass-like material. sharp, but hard. Delicate, but sturdy. There had to be thousands of pieces here, and his bleeding hands hadn't even touched half of them.
I'm seeing this boys pieces...and I'm going to help him pick them up.
I silently took a seat beside him, at first I was just watching. Then I started to help him gather the numerous amount of pieces into the pile between us.
"I waited fa' you." He said after a few minutes of silence and piece picking.
"You...what?"
"Ash said somebody was comin' dat' could help, so I waited fa' you."
"Is Ash the one-,"
"They won't fit, none of 'em fit each otha'."
"I can't put it back togetha." He cried.
"I could...I could help." I said disregarding my curiosity about his previous statements.
He still hadn't looked at me, even now, he didn't even look at me. Not even the slightest interaction with me.
"You made it pass him, you knew my password, but you could neva' fix this. He was nothin' compared ta' this."
"What even is this?" I questioned looking down at all these broken and cracked puzzle pieces.
"....My heart."
Looking like this? Broken like this? You mean to tell me this is this boy's heart.
"Your heart." I spoke, not to him, but to myself. I had to clarify what he had said to me. These pieces, all of these pieces were from his heart.
His heart. It was a puzzle.
"You still wanna help, knowin' dat' this is what you'll have ta' go through." He held up his bloody hands and arms.
But for it to be in this state, looking this horrific, that means it must have been taken apart a thousand times over and stomped on each time someone made him undone. Someone disassembled this person into these small corrupt pieces. Yet, he's here still trying to fix himself all alone. He is still here trying to give the world the benefit of the doubt. He thinks that he is weak, but right now, in my eyes, he's looking like the bravest person I'll ever meet.
I admired this strong magnificent beauty before me, and quickly wiped at my wet eyes before mustering up a smile.
"Without a doubt." I answered effortlessly.
Something told me to look to my right, and there sat a mortar and pestle fitting perfectly together. I was confused for all of a split second before realizing what I had to do. I knew exactly what these two items meant.
My destiny.
"H-Hey? You ever heard of Kintsugi?" I asked him.
As he looked at me in confusion, I got to see those beautiful eyes. I was able to make out all the hurt, all the pain, and sorrow. There was something that remained though...there was still a light there. There was still time.
I picked up fallen rose petals from the ground along with a few golden seeds that had fallen from the roses around me; the ones that I'd produced. I began to crush them with the man made grinder until I had made a somewhat sappy concoction.
"No...what's dat?"
I smiled wider picking up a few more rose petals and adding them to the mortar; repeating what I had just done with the other petals.
I don't know who that sweet little boy's voice belonged to, but I wish I did. I only wish I could thank him from the bottom of my soul for bringing the most extraordinary broken soul that I've ever met into my life.
The task that I have taken upon myself will be one of the most time consuming, most difficult, most delicate task on earth. It could hurt me if I'm not careful, it could cause me to bleed out if I allow his pieces to touch me in the wrong way. This boy's heart ....it is a difficult one.
But it is worth every bit of blood, sweat, and time.
"It's what I'm going to do to your heart."
That's where the dream that I had ended. That...That dream...
It was the very first time.
The very first time that I had the privilege of seeing Mr. Austin Anthony Alsina.
Kint•su•gi (or golden repair): is a Japanese method for repairing broken ceramics with a special lacquer mixed with gold, silver, or platinum. The philosophy behind the technique is to recognize the history of the object and to visibly incorporate the repair into the new piece instead of disguising it.
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I been going though it. I been hurting. I been struggling.
But I been praying too, so imma be straight.
The main reasons this chapter took so long was, not only personal issues in my life, but also me getting the hang of making my own animations... I those animations up there. As y'all know I'm very descriptive. Yes, I can write out a pretty good visual, but I know that y'all also enjoy actually seeing what I'm saying. Yes, regular edits are cool. Yes, y'all can imagine seeing smoke coming out of his mouth and a dark hole full of fire, but it's something about actually SEEING it that really draws the reader in.
So I was like I really wanna show my readers a written visual and an actually visual. So I hope y'all liked it. I will be doing a lot more of those throughout all my works.
So I will not only make regular edits as a visual, but also animated moving edits as a whole new level of visuals.
~Love y'all so much and thank you all who have stuck by side without even thinking of folding💙💙💙