"Oh won't you stay with me, cause you're all I need,"
(Sam Smith - Stay With Me)
_________________________________________________________
Butterflies pool in the depths of my stomach, my vagina throbbing in anticipation for what is soon to come. It's been three years since his hands have been on me, since my lips have been captivated by his, since his dark blue eyes drank my body in lecherously, since my body responded to anyone with just a simple stare. I've fantasized about this day with Hayden, and just for one night I was going to experience it all over again.
"Do you drink?" He asks circling around my body in the center of his large bedroom. The curtains are drawn and only a small lamp beside his bed is on. Somehow the combination of the darkness and the sweetness of his deep voice has desire pooling in my belly. The way his eyes are dark and hooded as he slowly walks around me, a glass of rosé in his hand, is turning me on.
"I haven't in a while." I breathe. My voice is low and shaky compared to his strong seductive voice.
"Would you like some?"
"I—" Before I can object he's standing before me taking a small sip of the wine for himself, his hand brushing against my cheek. The way he's staring at me, reminds me of one of the many reasons why I fell for him. I just want him to kiss me already, the anticipation is maddening.
"Would you like some this way?" This time he takes a larger drink and takes a step closer to me. His fingers grip my chin forcing my head up and my lips apart. His mouth is on mine, the wine warm as it travels from his mouth to mine. I swallow down the drink, not having tasted anything that delicious in a while, a soft moan escapes my lips. It taste divine coming from his lips.
"Good?" I nod in response. "More?"
"Please." I can hear the desperation in my voice with just this one word.
He hand is around my neck keeping me in close proximity to him. Even though I knew being here, wanting this, doing this, isn't good for me, I can't imagine myself anywhere else. He drinks more of the wine before his mouth meets mine, I open my mouth waiting for that warm delicious liquid to hit my tongue, and as it does I swallow it down. I didn't want him to remove his mouth from mine, so I cup his face, kissing his lips. I can taste the red velvet cake from the wedding and Rosé in his mouth as his tongue works against my own, caressing mine in a heated passion.
I didn't even want to pull away for air, but reluctantly, I did. I rest my forehead against his, my breaths labored like his as we both fight to find air. "I want you Hayden," I whisper against his lips. "So fucking bad."
"The feelings mutual." He utters, grabbing a fistful of my hair exposing my neck to him and presses his lips to the base of my throat. I just want to rip all of his clothes off and ride him until the morning. But even now, I revel in the way his lips feel kissing every inch of me, loving me mercilessly. "You looked voluptuous tonight Alice."
I was so engrossed in his mouth sucking on my throat I vaguely realized the lilac satin dress cascading down my body, "So beautiful." He hums, his hand cupping my breast, my nipple piercing through the air, goosebumps tearing through my flesh at the contact.
Taking a step back from me he speaks his eyes scanning my nude entirety, "On the bed." He orders.
I paddle across the room to his bed, stepping onto the Spanish alabaster bed frame. I pull back the white sheets before laying back on his low-lying bed. Staring above at the ceiling I see my naked body, my flushed and aroused face looking back at me.
Instead of staring at myself through the ceiling mirror, I turn my attention to the glorious shirtless man stalking towards the bed. He's gotten bulkier since I've last seen him, stronger, older, and damn sexier.
"I imagined you here like this, naked, wet, and all mine."
I guess that's partly the case here, I am naked and so wet, but I'm not his. I'm not his girlfriend or his current lover, I'm just a one night stand. I hope to be gone before he wakes up in the morning, if I'm not gone, I will go through those feelings I used to experience with him. If he's awake to say goodbye to me I will want more with him. I can't have a more with him.
Hayden clambers onto the bed hovering over me, one hand creeping up to my lips, reflexively my lips part and he pushes his thumb into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around his finger and suck harshly earning a pleasured moan from him. His free hand travels down my navel to my center. I can feel my stomach churn with desire as I suck in a sharp breath feeling his strong finger encircle my clitoris.
His tongue swipes across my skin and up the hardened mounds of my nipples, before enclosing his mouth around it sucking roughly. Neither his mouth nor fingers relentless as they work against my swollen body. I can feel my body nearing it's end, my breathing becoming harder, my heart pumping louder, the junction of my thighs pulsating violently. I just don't want this type of euphoria to ever end. A loud moan swallows us in the bedroom as he thrust his two fingers into my entrance, "You like this?" I think I hear him ask, removing his thumb from between my swollen lips.
"Oh yes!" I moan out.
"Come for me baby," And I do, my body given into the pleasure, I come on his fingers as they continue to fuck my sex, forcing me to release harder. When he removes his fingers from me, he stares in awe as his fingers drip with my arousal, "Good girl." He coos.
He sticks one of his fingers into his mouth, wallowing at the taste. Now it was my turn to stare in awe of him. He brings his other wet finger to my lips, and I barely put it in my mouth as I had something far bigger and tastier in mind. "Can I—" The brazen Alice seems to have disappeared, and I'm suddenly terrified to ask to please him.
"Speak Alice." His voice deep, sensual, and domineering.
"Can I suck your—" Embarrassment overtakes me and I am unable to finish my question.
The way his face twist with a sudden darkness tell me he knows exactly what I'm trying to ask. That single look alone could send me bursting at the seams. "If you do that, I may never get to fuck you. You want to be fucked, don't you?"
"Yes." My voice small. He's on his knees before me still dressed in his slacks, my eyes travel to the prominent bulge in his pants, wishing he'd take them off already. I rise from the bed, my hands moving to the waistband of his slacks. I press multiple kisses to his lower abdomen as my fingers work to undo his pants. Hayden stares down at me in anticipation as I am finally able to release him from the shield of his clothing, his member bobbing as it stands between us.
Unable to stop myself, I enclose my mouth around the tip of his length sucking gently, removing the beads of precome dripping from his member. I hear him click his tongue disapprovingly, "Release me Alice." He strains, his hand gripping my chin.
Grudgingly I release him from my mouth, and with the push at my shoulders he has me falling back onto the mattress. His hands grip my thighs forcing my legs apart as he positions himself between them, his member, in direct line with my entrance, held in his hand. "Do you want this?"
"Yes, Hayden, please." I want it. I want it so bad and I think we dragged this out long enough. I will do anything for it right now.
I gasp as he guides his shaft into me with a single thrust. This is what I've been waiting for, this is what I've been missing for three years. The thickness of his impressive length inside of me, pleasing me, releasing me, loving me . . . giving him all of me and likewise. I missed Hayden so much. I am grateful his head is lowered, buried in the crook of my neck, as he can't see the single tears that escape the ducts of my eyes.
He eases back slowly, and slams his member into me again and again and again. My hands move to his hair guiding his mouth to mine kissing him hard, pulling and tugging on his lower lip with my teeth and he thrust himself into me in a deliberate yet belligerent pace. Removing my hands from his hair, he put them on either side of my head interlocking our fingers into the mattress.
I manage to upkeep his unabating rhythm, meeting his thrust for thrust as he pounds on. MY body stiffens in the most delicious fashion, and I know I'm nearing my end, though I don't want this to end at all. I quiver beneath him, bowing to the sensation of all things him.
I love him, I love everything about him and I want to be with him. I want to move back to Washington to be back in a relationship with him. I want him and the baggage that he comes with. I want his trauma, I want his nightmares, I want his pain and sadness, I want his past and his secrets, I want his cold, I want his hot, I want his attention, I want his affection, I want his love, I want him.
I look at us in the mirror on his ceiling, his back muscles contracting as he moves and I just want to run my nails deep into his flesh, leaving my marks on him the way he has with my neck and chest. I tighten my grip on his fingers instead, my eyes shutting tight, my legs shuddering, and body convulsing as I fight through my orgasm, coming violently around his length, shattering into millions of tiny pieces beneath him. He swears as he thrust inside of me one final time. My undoing bringing him to his own, his hot, thick semen shooting inside of me.
The feeling of his weight on top of me causes me to open my eyes. His forehead is pressed against mine, his lips just barely grazing mine. "I missed you too." I whisper in response to his statement earlier at the wedding reception.
Without saying anything, he kisses me as he slowly eases himself out of me, then rolls onto his side. He pulls the bed sheet over us and props his head up on his hand staring down at me. "Did I hurt you?" He questions out of nowhere.
Confusion overtakes my features, "No, that was amazing Hayden. Why?"
"I saw you crying." His tone is soft as he speak, his finger that's caressing my cheek just as soft as his eyes as he stares at me slightly worried.
"Oh," I hug the sheet tighter to my body, "I just missed you Hayden, it's been so long."
"You called me one night." He mentions. I did call him. "And when I tried to call you back you never answered."
I held my phone in my hand, staring out at the view from my hotel room. The nights here are usually dark, but the moon was full and bright, the starts glittering the sky, sparkling, the lights from the skyline adding to the beauty of the night. I know this is a view Hayden would surely appreciate.
At the thought of Hayden I find myself wondering about him. It's been three weeks since I left him that night. I avoid him at work by staying in my office when I know he'd be there, and I try not to go to any place where I think he may be. I miss him every day and I know if I were to see him again, I wouldn't have the strength to not fall back into his trap. I constantly think about him, his body, his sex, his scent, his lips, his hands. I don't think it's healthy at all, but I fantasize about being back with him. I'm so engrossed in him, he even clouds my dreams. He doesn't know how strong of an effect he has on women. I understand now, Lina's obsession.
I should call him. Just to say hi. That's not a crime is it? I just want to make sure he's doing okay. His emotional state is something that I care about. Did I leave a bad effect on him when I left? Does he miss me at all? Has he moved on from me?
Before I can stop myself, my fingers were scrolling through my contacts, stopping at his name. I press the phone to my ear hearing the ringing. It goes to his voicemail and I almost consider leaving a voicemail as I listen to his voice on the line, "Hello, you reached Hayden Stymest, leave me a message and I'll get back to you at your earliest convenience." I end the call before the I hear the click.
Almost immediately, Sting's voice fills up the room singing 'Every Breath You Take'. Holy shit, he's calling back. I shouldn't have called him. This wasn't a good idea. I was the one who ended things with him and for good reason. He's going to be a father soon, he's going to have way bigger responsibilities. I need to move on from him and I can't keep dragging myself into his life when I'm clearly not wanted as his one and only.
He cheated on you multiple times in a week and got the woman pregnant. He didn't want to tell you about it because he doesn't trust you. He doesn't trust you and he can't commit to you. My subconscious reminds me. You deserve better, don't answer.
So I didn't answer, and he didn't call again.
"I realized I shouldn't have called you."
"I wish I had answered when you first called."
"If you had, we would have had this reunion much sooner." I chuckle, turning on my left side to see him instead of lying on my back. "Can I ask you a serious question?"
"Of course."
"Mrs. Sutter mentioned that you have nightmares about me, what are they about?"
"Mrs, Sutter shouldn't have told you that."
"But she did, and she's obviously worried about you, as am I."
"It's nothing serious."
"Then you shouldn't have a problem telling me about them."
He sighs lying onto his back, staring at the ceiling. I think he's contemplating on whether or not he actually wants to tell me what's going on with him. If he does, I'll know he's changed in that aspect. "They're different every time they come," he begins. "You are there with me, laughing or dancing or whatever, and then you stop suddenly and your bleeding from some place on your body, and when I try to get to you something or someone is holding me back or pushing me down. You're calling out for me to help you, to save you, but I can't move all I can do is yell your name. I can't get to you in time and then I wake up because I can't allow myself to envision you dying, even if it's just a dream."
That sounds utterly terrifying. It's playing out all of his fears into one. My leaving, his lack of control over a situation, and the idea that I'd never come back. "How long has this been happening?"
"Since you left, a week or so after you left."
"Have you told Dr. James?"
"I haven't told anyone about it."
"I'm sorry Hayden."
"What for?"
"I never meant for anything bad to happen to you because of my decision."
"As much as I hate to admit it, I think it happened to be the best thing for the both of us. But I think I've endured quite enough torture for the both of us, I want you back now."
"Hayden." I stare at him sternly, but he hasn't looked directly at me since lying on his back. He's still staring at the ceiling.
"Alice." He replies coolly.
"You know that can't happen."
"Why not?"
"Because I live in Los Angles and you live here with your child, might I add."
"I'm sure arrangements can be made where you move back and live with me."
"And give up everything that have there? That sounds kind of selfish."
"Well what can I say, I'm a selfish man."
Rising from the bed, I remove myself from the covers and stand off of the bed. Not wanting to put my dress back on I pick up Hayden's button down instead. "Where are you going?"
"Exploring." I mumble leaving him alone in the bedroom. I walk down the hall to a different bedroom, the door was slightly ajar so I push it open. I gasp, surprised to see the a pink room. This must be his daughters room.
Instead of closing the door and turning on my heels I enter the room to look around. All of the walls are white except for one where it has different size vertical stripes ranging between light pink, dark pink, and white. A large mattress in a white princess style headboard and frame is set against the striped wall. I walk towards her nightstand and pick up the pink frame, staring at the picture of Hayden and his daughter.
I've never seen her before, not even in pictures, and she is a beautiful girl. As she gets older, I know she is going to be a problem for Hayden when it comes to boys. Her skin is olive color, a mix between both of her parents. Long curly brown hair sits atop her head. Her eyes are big and blue like the rest of the Stymest family, and just like Una and Hayden she has a cleft chin.
"This is Naomi's room." I jump at the sound of his voice. I look back at him, he's wearing a pair of pajama pants, no shirt or boxers. The sight is heavenly.
"She's beautiful Hayden."
"She is."
"I always wondered what a little Hayden would look like, and since she spends most of her time with you I could imagine her vocabulary to be prodigious. And by prodigious I mean abnormal."
"You think my vocabulary is abnormal?"
"Yes, I often wonder if you swallowed a thesaurus or memorized the encyclopedia when you were younger."
He laughs heartily, "I did a lot of reading when I was a boy." He explains.
"That explains a lot." I place the frame back where I got it from and walk out of the room again leaving Hayden behind. "What other rooms are up here?" I ask loud enough for him to hear me in Naomi's room.
"Eight other bedrooms," His voice is deep behind me. "There's a miniature gallery, a play room for Naomi, a theater room, a library, and a security room."
"You have cameras here too?"
"Yes, it is my security system after all."
"Right." I sometimes forget his company has a technology branch. "Where is the gallery room?"
"Down the hall." He walks ahead of me instead of staying behind me and stops in front of a door. He pushes the door open and waits for me to enter. The windowless room is white, golden framed oil paintings hung all around the room. Each painting of a different nude woman.
I stare at each piece in awe, I feel like I'm walking through a Renaissance art museum. The paintings are beautifully crafted of different sized woman, some fully nude other partly nude showing off parts of their femininity. "Where did you get these?"
"The Flowe Gallery, Sheryl held an auction for a charity, I think I pretty much bought them all." He chuckles in the cutest way, "I bought another one, it's in my study."
"Can I see it?"
"Downstairs." His one worded answer has me turning on my heels. Not waiting for him to lead the way, I travel down the steps feeling his presence behind me as I walk to find his study. The doors to his study are two sliding glass panel barn doors, one side wide open making it easy to see the room. The view of Seattle the first sight that catches my attention, as the entire back wall is full of wide floor to ceiling windows. A walnut wood modern desk is on the right side of the room facing the left side. My eyes follow the direction of the desk to the opposite side of the room. There's the painting.
It's large, larger than the ones in his gallery, but it too is in a beautiful ancient gold frame. It's an oil painting like the others, except this one is clothed. Her hair is dark, eyes despondent and blue, her sadness is palpable through the painting. "Where did you get this?"
"Ryder painted it, it's beauteous."
"She looks like me." I scarcely recall Jessica telling me about a painting Ryder made that looked like me, is this that painting?
"I thought the same, that's why I bought it. I stare at it every time I am in here, wondering what went through his mind as he created it. Were you the figurine in his mind at the time? Is this how he perceives you? It's a beautiful piece, as he is one hell of an artist, but I wonder if this is how he weened you to be while we were together."
Maybe that's how Ryder wanted me to seem. He painted this sometime between the night I was at his house and he told me he loved me and the day I was shot at. During that time, he claims he had a gross obsession with me and he swore Hayden was an evil monster. He wanted me out of my relationship, maybe he wanted to believe that I was sad or hurt because of Hayden.
Instead of commenting my thoughts I turn away from the painting, my eyes landing on a wooden shelf stacked with vinyl records and clear and black record player sitting on top of the shelf. My feet carry me to the record player, and I search through his collection of vinyls. "I didn't know you had a record player."
"I didn't, Heather gave it to me as a gift, along with her records." I try not to cringe at the mention of Heather. I see he still keeps in contact with at least one of his ex's-and the strangest one of all, his ex fuck buddy, confidant, and mother figure.
"She has an impressive collection, so many different artist." I mumble begrudgingly. She has artist ranging from Frank Sinatra to Lana Del Rey. Smiling wildly, I pick up The Lumineers LP by The Lumineers, and lift the glass dust cover off of the turn table. Removing the record from the jacket, I gently place the record on the platter followed by the placing the tonearm on the outer grooves of the record. A faint clicking sounds before the male voice of Wesley Schultz plays through his office space.
I turn back to Hayden who can't seem to fight the wide toothy smile on his face as he watched me from across the room, dancing to the song. "Dance with me Hayden."
"I'd rather watch," He declines politely, and even his refusal doesn't stop me from dancing and moving closer to him. I fully intend on getting him to dance with me.
My hands reach out to his chest, my body still moving to the music, my smile so wide it could hurt. He laughs as I dance before him, his eyes bright with humor, and something else that I can't seem to focus in on. It's either love, or nostalgia, or longing . . . maybe even all three at the same time. I wish he wouldn't look at me in that way, not now at least. I only get to have one night with him, I want to make it memorable. And him looking at me like he loves me and misses me, isn't going to make my leaving any easier.
Catching me off guard, his hand cupped the back of my neck drawing my face close to his, lowering his head to my level he crashes his lips on to mine, in a rough, teeth-clattering way. With the single swipe of his tongue on my lower lip, that previous pain had disappeared, the music seems to have been muted, and it seemed to be just him and myself. His mouth moving against mine, powerful evocative memories of him and myself flood my memory. The good times, the bad time, the love making, the arguing, the hot and the cold-everything. I missed him more than I care to admit to myself.
I've went these three years pretending, and avoiding, and lying to myself and everyone else around me. I jump into his arms, ready to lose myself in him for the second time this night. "I don't want this to end." I speak breathlessly, my mouth against his, my legs wrapping around him.
"Stay with me Alice, please." He doesn't give me a chance to speak as he kisses me again, pushing my back into the wall where the oil painting is hung. He releases his member from his pants but doesn't wait for a second before plowing his sex into my own.
The feeling of his length growing around my walls turns me on greatly, even more than his quick thrust into my center. I let one arm hold onto his back while my other hand moved between us, travelling down to my throbbing clitoris, just begging to find some relief of it's own. Knowing how much it turns Hayden on, I circle over the sensitive nub with my middle finger moaning loudly as I wallow in the sensation of him and me.
For the second time tonight, he made love to me,our thrust as one until I came and he came. He presses his lips to the tip of my nose as he held onto my waist rising me off of his length until he is no longer inside of me. He sets me down to my feet and readjust his pants. He doesn't move from in front of me, his large muscular frame towering over me. With his hands on either sides of my face he admits, "I love you, baby, and I want you to take me back for longer than just one night. I want you and I will do anything to get you back." That was a promise.