Excuse any typos or grammatical errors.
Mya
I've come to the conclusion that I was destined to be alone. Every time I like someone, they have this hamartia that just ruins everything.
Dani couldn't commit because of reasons she's failed to completely explain. That bullshit about being scared to hurt me will suffice, I guess. It's not like it matters anymore.
And then there's Mya. Not me, the chick from Chipotle. My girlfriend. My soon to be ex girlfriend. I should have known from the moment she showed me her sketch pad that something was off.
Things were great at first. She was sweet and romantic. She was opened about her feelings. She treated me the way I wished Dani had in the past. I was happy with her. But of course, something had to ruin it.
Mya changed. Well, maybe she just pretended she was a certain way to get me to fall for her. She almost had me, but then the insecurities started to show. That didn't really phase me. I knew how it felt to want to be loved by someone the same way they loved you. I knew how it felt to fear that that wasn't possible.
That's why when Mya asked for the passwords to my social media accounts and the passcode to my phone, I gave them to her. Yeah, I was a little offended that she didn't trust me, but I understood. She offered to give me hers too, but I declined the offer. I trusted her.
Then came the constant need to know my whereabouts every second of everyday and my God do I wish I was exaggerating. I couldn't take a fucking nap with out waking up to hella missed calls and text messages from her crazy ass. And then there were the voicemails she left threatening me.
Yes, she actually threatened me. They were empty ones because the second I called her back, she'd be apologizing and begging to come see me. And then she'd make it up to me. To be so bat shit crazy, Mya is amazing in bed and whatever other places she decides to "apologize" to me.
I was pussy whipped for a while, but I can't take it anymore. She crossed the line. I know when I get pissed, my hand likes to aggressively latch itself onto people's faces (mainly Daniella's since she's the only person capable of boiling my blood enough to make me turn to violence), but Mya took it to a whole other level.
Domestic violence in same sex relationships exists, but I don't give a fuck. If you put your hands on me, we're fighting. Period. I'm not about to be a victim to another female.
So that's what happened. My girlfriend and I got into an actual fist fight. There is no reason why we should be fighting each other, but Mya thought she could hit me and I was just going to cry and cower away, but nope.
So she's been calling me and begging me to talk to her so we could fix things, but I'm done. And all this was over a fucking picture on Instagram.
I was wearing a crop top and she said I was trying to show off my body. Well she said I was trying to show off "her" body because apparently she owns me. I was so shocked at her statement that I laughed, so she slapped me because she thought I wasn't taking her seriously. I guess it was Karma for the times I slapped Daniella, but unlike Dani, I don't take too kindly to being hit. Especially when I don't deserve it.
So I tried to let the first hit slide, but after she hit me again I couldn't just not do anything so I defended myself.
We were both pretty beat up from the fight, but my busted lip wasn't even the thing that pissed me off. When I looked at myself, all I saw staring back at me was a girl that would never be happy.
It's not that I think I need to be in a relationship to be happy. It's just that I'm so fucking sick of disappointment. I'm sick of falling for people's bullshit. I'm sick of giving my heart to people that don't fucking deserve it.
After everything went down with Mya, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't call my parents because they'd freak out and want me to press charges. It was a mutual fight, so that wasn't really an option. I didn't want to anyway. I was just going to break up with Mya and go on about my life.
Since my parents weren't an option I called the next best thing: Ms. Fuller. I told her everything that happened and of course the first thing she asked when I told her about the fight was "Did you win?" I couldn't help, but to laugh despite me being in no mood to even crack a smile.
We talked for a little bit longer and she just told me that everything would be okay and to keep her updated on everything that went on with Mya once I broke up with her since said girl was crazy as shit.
What she didn't tell me was that she was going to fill Dani in on the whole thing, so now I'm sitting in my room while said girl is pacing my bedroom floor, most likely contemplating on ways she could end my soon to be ex.
"I can't believe she put her hands on you though. I swear to God I'm fucking her up when I see her. I knew something was off with her. She was too fucking perfect to not be hiding anything."
Dani rushed over here the second her mom called her and explained everything to her. I should have known Ms. Fuller would tell her.
"Dani would you calm down? I'm not calling her over here if you're gonna be acting like that. We fought. It was mutual combat." I tried to explain, but Dani stopped pacing and looked at me like I was crazy.
"Mya look at your fucking face! Your lip is busted. You have a big ass bruise on your cheek. No one should be putting their hands on you." Dani said looking like she would cry. She's overreacting.
"Okay so what are you gonna do? You're gonna fight her? You've never been in a fight in your entire life. Besides, I don't need you fighting anyone for me."
"I know you don't need me to, but I'm just so fucking mad man. It's my fault you even reunited with her. I shouldn't have given her your number."
I didn't like that Dani was blaming herself. How was she supposed to know that Mya was crazy? I didn't even know and I'd known her for years.
"This isn't your fault." I said getting up and hugging her.
"I should be the one comforting you." Dani said letting out a weak laugh as she wrapped her arms around me.
"I don't need to be comforted. I just need to break up with Mya and move on with my life." I sighed as I rested my head on Daniella's shoulder.
"You don't deserve any of this. Why do you have such bad taste in girls?" Dani asked making me chuckle because I knew she was talking about herself as well.
"I don't know. I think I might need to just stay to myself for a while. I have the worst luck with relationships."
"I'm so sorry, Mya. First I broke your heart and then I gave some crazy bitch a ticket to do it again. I just keep fucking things up for you. You deserve so much better."
Dani hugged me tighter and I just enjoyed being held.
"It's not your fault."
It really wasn't Dani's fault. She had no reason to blame herself. Yeah, she gave Mya my number, but I let her back into my life. I ignored all the signs that were already there. Like I said, that sketch pad was a big ass red flag. I guess I was blinded by flattery.
"It doesn't even matter. This isn't about me. Just call her. I'm not leaving though." Dani said releasing me from the hug.
"If she sees you, she's going to get even more pissed. Just go to your room and I'll call you if I need you." I assured the girl, but Dani looked hesitant.
"Mya-"
"Please just let me do this alone. I can handle my own, Daniella. I'm not afraid of her." I tried to convince the girl to leave.
Mya wasn't dangerous. She was crazy, but I could handle if it came down to me having to defend myself.
"Fine. Just don't let her reel you in with her bullshit." Dani warned and I rolled my eyes.
"You mean how you used to do?" I asked and I could tell that my words got to Dani.
"I'm sorry. I really am, Mya. If I could go back-"
"I was kidding." I said cutting the girl off. I had already forgiven Dani for our past. I knew she was sorry. I knew she wished she could go back and fix everything, but it was in the past and I was over it. I'm over her.
"Please don't make jokes like that. I hate what I did to you. I care about you so much Mya and I'm always going to be there for you. I can't fix the past, but I swear to God I'm going to do everything I can to make things right with our present and future. I want to be a friend to you for as long as you'll allow me to be one."
I just looked at the girl in front of me because this was not Daniella Fuller.
"What did she do to you?" I asked smiling at this new and improved Daniella Fuller.
"W-what do you mean?" Dani said blushing without me even having to say Nadia's name.
"Oh wow. You're blushing and I didn't even say her name." I expressed my thoughts.
"Shut up." Dani said looking down at her shoes.
"You're so cute." I laughed as I pinched the girl's cheeks. I liked seeing her like this. I liked seeing her genuinely in like with someone.
"Ugh. Just call me if Chipotle bitch goes crazy on you." Dani said leaving my room so I couldn't see her blush anymore.
I just wanted to get this over with. I didn't feel like talking to Mya over the phone so I sent her a text saying that I was ready to talk. I don't even think the damn message was sent good before I got a text back from the girl saying she was on her way.
About 30 minutes later there was a knock at my door. I took a deep breath before opening it.
"Baby I-"
"Please don't start with the apologies. I called you here for one reason and one reason only." I said cutting Mya off.
I took a good look at Mya and I could tell she had been crying. Her lip was still a little swollen and it looked like her eye was bruising.
"Can I come in?" Mya asked and I stepped aside so she could come into my room. I closed the door behind her and walked to my side of the room.
"I don't even know where to start." I said running a hand through my hair and laughing humorlessly. "There is no reason why we should have gotten into a fight. Like we were deadass throwing hands, Mya. Who the fuck does that shit?"
"I shouldn't have hit you. I'm-"
"Don't you dare say you're sorry." I cut her. "I'm so sick of your apologies. I'm sick of this." I said gesturing between us and making Mya's face fall.
"Please don't do this." Mya begged. "I love you."
"You don't love me, Mya. You think you own me. I don't belong to you. That's not how love works. It's not ownership." I spoke in the calmest voice possible. "You are controlling. You're insecure. You're possessive. You're literally everything I don't want in a girlfriend. You really fooled me with your nice girl act, but it turns out that you're just a crazy ass bitch."
"I'm only crazy for you. I love you, Mya. I need you." She said dropping to her knees and wrapping her arms around my waist as her forehead rested on my stomach. "Please don't leave me. I'll change I swear. I don't know how to handle loving someone this much. It's driving me crazy."
Mya's tears were soaking my shirt. Her sobs filled my room and I had to remind myself not to fall for it.
"Get off of me." I said trying to free myself from her, but she just held on tighter.
"Please. Baby I promise, I'll change. I'll get help, just please don't leave me." Mya held on to me and continued to beg me not to break up with her.
This was harder than I thought it would be. Not just because of how she was acting, but because I hated seeing her like this. Despite everything, I was in the process of falling for Mya. I cared for her, so seeing her like this got to me. I felt my resistance slowly slipping away and I hated it. I was always so fucking weak.
I felt the burn of tears threatening to spill from my eyes. When the first tear escaped down my cheek I sucked in a breath of air before releasing more tears and a choked sob. I couldn't do it. I couldn't fucking do it, but I knew I had to.
"Mya, please get off of me." I spoke weakly.
"We can get through this." She spoke lifting up my shirt and kissing my stomach. I tried to back away, but she got a hold of the waistband of my jeans and forcefully pulled me towards her.
She was a lot stronger than I thought.
"No we can't." I argued, while still trying to get away from her, but she ignored me and yanked my pants off of my hips causing me to lose my balance. I fell backwards and my head came into contact with what I'm assuming was my nightstand. The impact instantly made me feel a little dizzy. I knew something was wrong because Mya's blurry figure began to panic.
There had to be blood. Mya was hemophobic.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Mya said looking like she wanted to help, but she was too scared of the blood. I touched a hand to the back of my head and was met with a stinging sensation as well as the feeling of the thick sticky substance on my finger tips. I looked at my hand and wanted to panic as well. I wanted to get up and get myself help, but the room was sort of spinning. Walking just wasn't an option at the moment. I slowly sat up and decided my best bet would be to calm Mya down.
"Mya, baby, it's okay." I tried, but she just kept pacing and grabbing fists full of her hair before releasing it and looking at me with a horrified expression.
"There's so much blood. I didn't mean to make you fall. I didn't mean to hurt you." Mya said beginning to cry again. "I'm so sorry."
Mya was no help, so I started looking around for my phone. I couldn't remember where I put it. My vision was starting to go back to normal, but my head was pounding. I touched my hand to the back of my hand again and I could literally feel the blood leaking into my hand. That's when I started to panic too.
I got to my feet, pulled my pants back onto my hips, and ran for the door. Before I could actually reach the door I was pulled back.
"Y-y-you c-can't tell anyone." Mya said wiping her hands on her shirt and pants even though there was no blood on them.
"I know it was an accident, Mya. I'm just going to say I fell, but I need help." I said glancing at the trail of blood my head was causing. Should I have been putting pressure on it or something?
"I can't go back. You can't tell." Mya said not even making sense anymore.
I quickly opened my door and got out of my room. I ran down the hall and frantically knocked on the RA's door. She opened it with a look of anger that immediately turned into a look of concern when she saw all the blood on my hands.
"You're bleeding really bad." She said stating the obvious.
I refrained from getting smart. 1. Because I really needed help and 2. Because I was getting light headed again.
"I need to go to the hospital. I can't tell how bad it is." I said turning around so the RA could see.
"Oh my God!"
Her reaction wasn't helping at all.
"Yeah, I don't want to meet him just yet, so can you please help me?" I asked keeping my cool.
"Y-yes. Come on." She said going to get her car keys, I'm assuming.
"What happened?" She asked getting her keys and then going over to her dresser and pulling out a white long sleeved shirt.
"I'm gonna wrap this around your head. We need to slow down the bleeding. I can't really see how big the gash is, but there is so much blood. It must be pretty bad." She spoke as she tied the shirt securely around my head, making sure to put pressure on the area I was losing blood from.
"You should call your parents." She said as we were making our way down the stairs and to the lobby.
"I can't find my phone." I told her and she chuckled. I couldn't figure out the joke, so I just kept walking.
"Your phone is in your back pocket." She informed me and I would have face palmed had my head not been pounding so badly.
"Can you call Dani?" I gave her my phone and she just told Siri to do it.
"Um, hello?" The RA said into the phone. "No, this is the RA. I'm about to take her to the hospital."
I knew Dani was freaking out on the other end.
"Tell her to come to the lobby." I told her.
"Just come to the lobby and you can ride with us." The RA told Dani over the phone. "I'm assuming she hit her head."
If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought Dani had superpowers.
"Where is she?" Dani asked once she got to the lobby.
The RA looked confused, but I knew who Dani was talking about.
"It was an accident, Daniella. I fell." I told her and she scoffed.
"Let's just go to the hospital." Dani said walking towards the exit with the RA and me following her. "The faster you get these stitches, the faster they'll heal. Then I can slap your dumbass upside the head for not listening to me. You knew damn well she was going to do some crazy shit. I told you to call me."
I just ignored Daniella because she was making my head hurt worse. Mya would never do something like his on purpose. It was an accident.
"Oh, so now you don't have anything to say?" Dani continued.
When we got to the RA's car I took the back seat in order to have some space between Dani and me, but she just sat back there too.
"I'm gonna kill her." Dani mumbled to herself and I rolled my eyes.
"You don't even fight." I pointed out.
"But I'd do if for you!" She yelled, making my head throb more.
"Please stop yelling at me." I said rubbing my temples in order to relieve the pain.
"Do you have your insurance card or any type of information on you?" The RA asked and I shook my head.
"No." Dani answered for me since the other girl couldn't see me.
"What's your name?" I asked the RA because I was sick of referring to her as the RA in my head.
"Noel. You say hi to me almost everyday." She said with concern laced in her voice.
Did I really?
"Do I say 'Hi, Noel.' or just 'Hi.'? Because the latter wouldn't suggest that I knew your name." I said getting a little scared. There's no way I forgot it because I remembered Mya and Daniella. I remember my name.
"True. Come to think of it, you never used my name. You just say 'Hi'." She chuckled like she hadn't just scared the bejesus out of me.
"Seriously?" Dani whispered to me and I just shook my head so she'd let it go.
"Anyway, you might want to get someone to bring that stuff up here for you." Noel spoke as she pulled into the parking lot of the hospital.
"I'll call Nadia and ask her to get Malaya or Raquel to bring her here. Where is it?" Dani asked looking at me with the phone up to her ear.
"In my book bag. The very first part is where I keep my wallet. My insurance card is in there. My social security card and driver's license is in there too." I informed the girl.
"Hey. She's fine, but I need you to go to her room and get her wallet out of the front section of her book bag. I also need you to see if you can get a ride from Malaya or Raquel to the hospital." Dani spoke into the phone. "I'll explain when you get here, just hurry up okay?"
Dani let out a sigh into the phone before speaking again. "I swear she's not dying. She just needs stitches. She's right here." Dani said holding the phone out to me.
"Nadia's freaking out, will you please talk to her so she knows you're not dead?"
I chuckled before grabbing the phone.
"I'm alive." I spoke into the phone and I could hear a sigh of relief from Nadia on the other end.
"What happened? I'm at your door now-Oh my God! There's so much blood!" Nadia screamed into the phone successfully making the pain in my head multiply.
"Is there anyone in there?" I asked wondering if Mya had left yet.
"No-okay I spoke too soon. Is she dead?" Nadia whispered into the phone. "I'm sure if you killed her it was self defense, but, Jesus. You could have warned me."
I chuckled at Nadia's words and at how calm she was at the possibility of there being a dead girl in my room.
"She's not dead. She most likely fainted. She has an irrational fear of blood. You know, hemophobia.
"You'd think I'd be the one with a fear like that." Nadia mumbled, but I just ignored it since she was most likely speaking to herself and I didn't really know what she meant by that.
"Just leave her and get the wallet. I'll deal with her when I get back."
"Okay." I'll see you when I get there.
After Nadia and I got off the phone. The three of us made our way into the hospital.
Hopefully this didn't take too long.
-
Thanks to my fall, I had to get a fucking patch shaved into my head. I only had to get five stitches and I also got some pain meds. The doctors ran a few tests and asked me a lot of questions to make sure that I hadn't suffered anything severe.
Once I was all clear. The doctor told me to sleep on my side and not to wash my hair for the next 3 to five days, which is when I was supposed to get them taken out.
He also told me that I needed to chill for the time being meaning I couldn't play soccer or anything which was fine since our season was over.
I wasn't even mad about the stitches. I was pissed about the patch those assholes shaved into my head. Well, they aren't assholes because they helped me, but still.
The gash wasn't even that bad. The amount of blood I lost worried me, but when I got back to the room, there wasn't as much blood as I expected there to be.
Dani was kind enough to mop my floors for me because she didn't want me doing anything. She was being annoyingly overprotective.
She kicked Mya out and told her that she couldn't come talk to me until I got the stitches taken out.
I felt bad for Mya. I know that I probably shouldn't, but she didn't mean to make me fall. Our arguments always went the same way. She would cry and apologize and I would resist. Then she'd get all aggressive and sexual. I'd get turned on by it. We'd have sex and then pretend nothing ever happened until our next fight.
Us physically fighting and what happened today was the only time that things didn't go how they usually do.
"How are you feeling?" Dani asked once she finished cleaning my room.
"I have a headache, but other than that, I'm fine."
"She doesn't even look like she's capable of doing anything like this. She looked so terrified when I came in here. She was balled up on your bed crying like a fucking baby. I almost comforted her, but then I remembered what she did to you." Dani shook her head as she joined me on my bed. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my back on the poor excuse for a headboard.
"She's messed up, but I swear she'd never do anything like this intentionally. She's not evil. She's just-"
"Bat shit crazy?" Dani finished and I chuckled.
"Shut up." I said playfully pushing the girl.
"I wasn't going to do it." I said after we were quiet for a while.
"Do what?" Dani asked giving me her attention.
"Break up with her." I elaborated. "I was giving in. If I wouldn't have lost my balance and cracked my damn head open, I would have let her pull me back in. I technically didn't break up with her anyway." I confessed and Dani looked at me like I was crazy.
"Why the hell not? What's so hard about kicking her crazy ass to the curb?" The girl asked like breaking up with someone was the easiest thing in the world.
"The same thing that was so hard about kicking you to the curb." I answered and Dani shut her mouth.
"Do you love her?" The girl asked a few seconds later and I shrugged.
"I don't know. I just know that I really really liked her. Even after everything. I still do." I confessed. "I know it's stupid, but when she wasn't being crazy, she was kinda amazing. She just needs help."
"Is she going to get help? Or does she just promise you she will to keep you from leaving?" Dani asked sounding like she already knew the answer.
"She just needs someone to be there for her." I tried and Dani rolled her eyes.
"Has she even told you what's really wrong with her? This clearly isn't just some personality flaw."
"She hasn't really told me, but it has to be something anger related." I sighed. "I think that's why she came here. She was running away from something."
"Next time you talk to her, I want to be here." Dani said looking like she wouldn't take no for an answer. That didn't mean I wouldn't try.
"You don't have to be here. What happened was an accident. How many times do I have to tell you that?" I asked.
"I just got done cleaning up a puddle and trail of your you fucking blood off of the floor and you're trying to tell me that you want to see her alone again? It's like you like what she puts you through. You like the back and forth between you two don't you? Let me guess, the make up sex is great, huh?" The girl asked going too damn far. I can't believe she is actually sitting here judging me right now.
"It's no different than what you used to do, Daniella. You tried solving all of our problems with sex and I let you. How can you sit here and judge me about what I'm letting her put me through when you put me through the same damn thing?"
"Because I can see that you deserve better!" Dani yelled. "Why the hell can't you see that? You deserve better than me. Better than her. Why do you constantly allow people to hurt you?"
"Why do people constantly hurt me? Why are you blaming me?!" I yelled back.
"Because you allow it!" She shouted back.
"You have to stop allowing people to hurt you. Stop leaving doors open for people that don't deserve an invitation into your life. You were too good for me, Mya. If you were able to recognize that with me, why can't you see it with her?" Dani asked in a more gentle voice.
"I-I don't know." I said in a whisper.
"I'm not telling you not to be there for her, but sometimes you have to love people from a distance. You're not obligated to stay with her just because there's something wrong with her. I'm not one to talk, but your relationship is so unhealthy. She's unhealthy. Mentally speaking. I just want you to be happy." Dani gave me a sad look.
"Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy." I mumbled.
"You were. You are. You're going to meet someone that's going to give you everything you deserve and more. I'm sorry that person wasn't me and I'm sorry it's not Mya, but I swear that person exists. You just haven't met them yet." Dani assured.
I wanted to believe Dani, but I just didn't see myself ever finding someone. I didn't think there was some person out there just waiting for me to find them. And even if there was, I had no intentions of looking for them.
"I guess." I shrugged.
There was another moment of silence until Dani spoke again.
"You should probably get some sleep. Do you want me to stay?" Dani asked.
"You don't have to." I shrugged.
"I know that, but do you want me to?" Dani asked again.
"Only if you want to." I said refusing to give a solid answer. I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't want to tell Dani to stay. It's a pride thing.
"You just don't want to say yes do you?" Dani chuckled. "I'll text Nadia and let her know I'm gonna be here."
I just smiled at the girl because she was right.
*****
Here's another update. I'm losing readers. 😪 They need to come back! Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Do you think Chipotle Mya meant to hurt Mya?
Do you think Mya should give her another chance?
Thanks for reading!
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