Once we arrived at Demi's house, I fixed McKenna some lunch and we sat at the table together.
"Aren't you gonna eat Cece?"
"I had a big breakfast."
I hate lying to McKenna. I hate lying in general. I know you probably don't believe that. But I don't enjoy having to lie. With eating disorders, self harm and other addictions, secrecy comes with it. It spirals out of control.
I'm bad now.
"You should eat. Demi told me you're sick."
How do I reply that? I can't be sarcastic or rude- it's McKenna! But I can't give in to this! I can't eat!
"Thanks for your concern but I'm okay."
"Please eat for me."
I sighed and got up. I made myself a sandwich. I'll purge it later. I'll purge it later. I'll purge it later.
I sat at the table next to McKenna.
She grabbed my hand.
"You'll be okay." She smiled.
"Thank you Kenna."
That was one of the most genuine things anyone has ever done. The fact that it came from a 5 year old... incredible.
Each bite of the sandwich was a struggle. That's an understatement. I wanted to bawl my eyes out the whole time. I could feel a panic attack coming on. But McKenna held my hand the whole time and smiled at me. She got me through the meal.
"Kenna, you know, you're very special. Thank you." I hugged her.
Unfortunately our moment was ruined by Demi and Mackenzie walking through the door.
"CECELIA? MCKENNA? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
McKenna burst into tears.
"MCKENNA MARIE LOVATO! GET IN YOUR ROOM NOW. AND MACKENZIE GO WITH HER."
"But Mommy I didn't do anything."
"Mackenzie."
"Fine I'm gooooing!"
"Demi calm down please! You don't know what happened!"
"YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD FUCKING EXPLANATION."
"S-Stop yelling." I was starting to feel nauseous. A combo of the emotions and the meal.
"I'm sorry. Please just explain." She sat down next to me.
"McKenna called me to pick her up." I didn't want to reveal what happened without McKenna there. "I'm not yelling you why. Ask your daughter. But I brought her home. She had lunch. You're welcome."
"Why aren't you in school?" Demi didn't look amused.
"Half Day." I lied, easily.
"So why didn't mom and dad pick you up?"
"They didn't know."
"I'll let this go for now. I'm getting McKenna."
McKenna looked tiny sitting at the table with Demi and I next to her.
"Sweetie why did you call Cece from school?"
"I-I-I" She stared at me, tears streaming from her baby eyes.
"Kenna. Have you been bullied?"
It took Demi long enough to piece it together!
She nodded.
"Baby girl!" Demi put McKenna on her lap and hugged her.
"Next time call me. How did the office let you leave with Cece?"
McKenna cried harder.
"Um Demi. She ran away from school. I found her in a bush."
Demi's face was priceless.
"I'm going to call the school and let them know where you are. And that we won't be returning. I'll find you and Mackenzie a tutor. We are done with school."
McKenna smiled.
I smiled.
So far so good.