I loved everything about him; the smile, personality, the way he made me feel good when I had bad days.
I've never told him my true feelings, being afraid that I will lose him. In one day, he introduce me his new girlfriend; must admit that I almost died seeing them having those lovebirds moments.
Time had past, never seeing him alone, only with her. So I decided to retreat from his life, it was better for me.
But my world collapsed when I received a wedding invitation; tears was falling down on that piece of paper and sitting down, my decision was made.
"Hey Shan, congrats for the big event. Look, I wanted to say that I won't be able to come, I'm leaving in Scotland and I don't know how much I will stay. Take care of you and I wish you the best" I leaved the voicemail, and I turned off the phone.
"Now, let's redecorate the house" I said with a sad smile.
I didn't left, of course but I didn't want to participate at something that could tear me apart, that's why I focused my attention on something else.
A week...another week...and I became a shadow of the person I used to be.
When that day had come, I was sitting down, drinking. Bottle after bottle, I felt how hands are carrying me away, and seeing a blurry figure I said
"Are you the angel of death? Please take my pain away, I can't live like that anymore"
A hand was brushing my face, and two lips as touching my ear saying slowly
"Be strong, I need you" then I slipped into a deep darkness.
Opening my eyes, I realize that I'm in a hospital room; my hand was under someone's head; Shannon was sleeping on a chair, next to my bed, with his head on the edge of the bed, where I was, keeping my hand.
Seeing those hazel eyes looking again at me, I didn't knew what to say.
"You scared me. I almost lost you. Why did you lie to me? I knew that you are home, I saw you in town. And when I came to your house and didn't respond, I looked on the window. I lost all control when I saw you on the floor and I knocked the door down." His voice had a different tone, his touch...everything was different.
"What about your wedding?"
"There is no wedding. I can't be with someone I didn't love. I made a mistake, being confused, being afraid to recognize my feelings"
I knew what he wanted to say, seeing a very well known spark in his eyes.
"Shan? Let's let the time to decide, it's better like that"
He agreed, and when I will get out from hospital, we will see what life had prepared for us, until then, we are the same old buddies, making fun of everything.