Trigger Warning ⚠️ (This chapter mentions suicide.)
Sorry for any mistakes.
Daniella
Having a girlfriend is amazing. I always ran from commitment and now that I'm actually in a relationship, I don't understand what I was so afraid of. Having Nadia to myself is the best thing ever. Just the thought of either of us being with someone else makes me sick. I really like her. I guess I always have. I just never noticed it. She's so perfect. She's literally everything I ever wanted in a girl right down to the freaking dimples. I lov....whoa whoa. Let's not get ahead of ourselves inner Daniella. There will be no use of that word. Not yet anyway.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Nadia asked with a slight frown.
God, what did I do to deserve this girl? I know I'm not the worst person ever, but I am not worthy. Don't take her back or anything. I accept this gift even though I don't deserve it. But damn..my bad. I didn't mean to curse at you, but you really out did yourself with this one. A plus plus, big guy or gal.
"Daniella." Nadia said snapping her fingers in my face. "Come back."
"You're so beautiful. Promise to catch me when I fall in love with you." I said before I could even internally determine if it was okay to say something like that.
Nadia's mouth dropped open slightly and her cheeks turned a cute shade of red. I've rendered her speechless. Or maybe I went too far. Uh oh.
"That slipped out." I said trying to make things better, but Nadia just shook her head.
"No, it's okay. I just haven't gotten use to this side of you. You have to warn me before you say things like that." She said letting out a weak laugh.
"I'm sorry. I can't help myself." I admitted. "We've only been together for three weeks, but it feels like a lifetime. I know it's cliche, but do you ever wonder if God made the two of us specifically for each other? Like I know the Bible says we're an abomination, but if that's the case, why does this feel so right? Why am I so happy?"
Nadia didn't say anything this time, she just leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine and we shared an innocent, but meaningful kiss.
"I promise if you promise the same." She said making me smile.
"I promise." I said pushing a loose curl out of Nadia's face before connecting our lips again.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I am so fucking sick of you two. Nadia, please move into Daniella's room. This cliche shit has been going on for too long. I wouldn't be surprised if you two got married within the next week or two. You should be out of the honeymoon stage by now." Chasity whined.
"I thought you shipped us." Nadia said laughing at her roommate's obvious frustration with how lovey dovey we were.
"I do, but I wish you two would at least fight or something. No relationship should be this perfect. Your friendship was more problematic and you two swore up and down there were no feelings involved." Chastity replied, still whining.
"Well it's only been three weeks." I pointed out.
"Yeah, let us enjoy this. Stop trying to ruin your own ship." Nadia playfully scolded Chastity.
"I'm not trying to ruin it. I just need some angst. Being around you two so much is like reading a romance novel. It can't be all fluff. Where's the drama? The betrayal? The revenge?"
Chastity looked like a mad woman as she spat out her desires. Why would she want us to have issues solely for the purpose of her own entertainment? We're not just some made up characters. Actual, live, beating hearts are involved.
"That's kind of messed up, man." I frowned.
"No, that's life, man."Chastity said mocking me.
"I don't even want to think about anything ruining this." I said cringing at the thought.
"Then don't." Nadia said grabbing my face and making me look at her. "We're good and we're always going to be good. No matter what."
"OH MY GOD! I'm leaving." Chastity said gathering her phone, charger, and purse. Call me when you have a fight." She said before leaving the room.
"Where is she going to go?" I asked laughing at her dramatics.
"Heck if I know. Probably to Gio's apartment. Visiting hours aren't over yet." Nadia shrugged before laying back on her bed.
"Well, yay for us." I said climbing on top of her and pinning her wrists on either side of her head.
"Dani, let's keep it PG-13." Nadia said making me chuckle.
"Now you know that's not how I roll." I said slowly inching closer to her face before kissing her.
I wouldn't go farther than this, but I didn't need to take a girl's clothes off to drive her crazy. No, I'm not talking about hunching, so don't disrespect me like that.
I have never gone three weeks without having sex with a girl that I was dating. Well I've never gone that long period. Usually I fucked girls on the first day we met, or within the first week at the latest since some girls played hard to get.
I know. I was a hoe, but I've changed.
I'd wait for however long Nadia wanted to as long as we got to be together. That thought was so un-Dani-like of me, but what can I say? I'm a changed woman and the beauty beneath me is responsible.
I broke away from Nadia's lips and just admired her. She opened her eyes a few seconds after I pulled away and I smiled at the sight of her honey brown eyes.
"I give it a few more weeks." I said making her furrow her eyebrows.
"You give what a few more weeks?"
"You having to keep that promise you made me." I said burying my face in her neck. "I'm so happy I met you."
"Right back at ya." Nadia said wrapping her arms around me.
"About the first or second part?" I asked into her neck.
"Both." She chuckled.
-
I woke up to the sound of the toilet flushing and water running. I didn't even remember falling asleep. I felt around for Nadia, but she wasn't in her bed with me. A few seconds later she walked out of the bathroom and we made eye contact.
"Did I wake you up?" She asked climbing back into her bed with me. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on her chest before speaking.
"Sort of." I answered. "I don't even remember falling asleep."
"I didn't when I woke up either." She chuckled. "Can you give me my phone?"
I reached on Nadia's night stand and grabbed her phone, handing it to her.
I was right up under her when she unlocked it, I had no choice but to see the insane amount of missed calls she had.
"What the hell?" She asked sounding both confused and worried.
"What's wrong?" I asked and Nadia showed me the phone like I hadn't already seen it.
"I don't even know who this is. Their number isn't saved." She frowned at her phone.
"Well, are you going to call it back? I'm sure no one would go through so much for a prank call." I pointed out.
"But I don't know who it could be. I have everyone that I talk to saved in my phone. This has to be a stranger." Nadia hesitated.
"Are you scared?" I chuckled, earning a glare from her.
"I'm not scared. I'm just confused."
"Well call the number back, so you won't be scar- I mean confused anymore."
Nadia just rolled her eyes before handing me the phone. "You do it." She demanded.
"You sure you want me to? What if it's one of your side pieces." I joked and she just rolled her eyes.
"If anyone has a side piece, it's you. Speaking of that, we're cleaning out that phone of yours. Pictures, numbers, everything." Nadia said sounding jealous.
"I already did that the day I met you." I lied, sort of. I did clean out my phone though. No other girl mattered to me. Yeah, there was my mom and my grandmother. There was also Mya, but other than that, no one from my past mattered.
"Whatever liar, just call the freaking number back."
I kissed Nadia's cheek before doing as she said.
"Put it on speaker." Nadia whispered as the phone began to ring. It was barely through the third ring before someone answered.
"Nadia, I know I'm the last person you want to talk to, but before you hang up please just listen." Neither of us said anything.
Nadia looked shocked and I was confused. Who was this?
"I know everything that happened between us was my fault. I blamed you because it was easier than accepting the fact that I was too weak to be there for you. I let you go through your worst days alone because I knew I couldn't make things better for you.
It's just that we were so young and some of the things you said to me were just too much to handle. When you would talk about wanting to hurt yourself, I felt so helpless. I know seeing your mother do that to herself got to you. I know it messed you up, but the fact that you trusted me enough to tell me everything you went through afterwards scared me.
You put so much pressure on me without even knowing it. I had to run. I had to hurt you, so you wouldn't want me anymore. Just know that I could never actually bring myself to do it. You really did change me. The only lie I ever told you was that I was with other girls while we were together. I never cheated on you, Nadia. I loved you way too much to do that. I still love you. I know you have a girlfriend. I'm not asking for us to get back together, but I miss you so much. I just want to see you. Running into you brought every feeling that never actually left right back and I can't stop thinking about you. Not that I ever did....Are you still there?"
At this point I had sat up and was just staring at Nadia's phone. I looked at Nadia and she was silently crying.
"Nadia?" The girl on the phone asked again and Nadia let out a choked sob before speaking.
"I'm still here, but I don't want to see you."
"Nadia, please. You can bring your girlfriend along too. I just need to talk to you. I know I don't deserve it, but it's killing me." She begged.
"Then die." Nadia said before getting up and going into the bathroom and slamming the door behind her.
"I've wanted to since the day I broke your heart." The other girl cried into the phone.
This was both sad and awkward. Why would Nadia leave me out here to end this conversation? I didn't want to just hang up, but I also didn't want to speak.
"I messed up, Nadia. I fucked up everything. Not just with you. She's gone, Nadia. You're the only person I can talk to about it. You're the only person that will understand." She pleaded. "I need you."
I was stuck. What the hell was I supposed to do? Who was this girl and what was she talking about?
"I can't be alone right now. Please, Nadia." She cried desperately into the phone. "Fine. I guess karma finally got me."
The other line finally went dead and I sat Nadia's phone down before going to the bathroom door and trying to open it, but it was locked. I should have known.
"Nadia." I spoke through the door only to get choked sobs in return. "Just let me in. We don't even have to talk about it."
The room door opening redirected my attention.
"Geez, you're like a little puppy, let the girl pee in peace." Chasity chuckled, unaware of the current situation.
"Just leave, Daniella." Nadia spoke through her sobs and Chasity started to do a little dance.
"Finally! You're fighting. I came back at the perfect time." Chasity said cheerfully.
I didn't feel like explaining so I just gave her the cut-it-out signal and she seemed to understand.
"Nadia, I'm not leaving. Just open the door." I stood my ground.
"What's going on?" Chasity asked not looking amused anymore.
"Too much to explain." I sighed and Chasity frowned.
"I was gone for like two hours."
"Can you try?" I asked and Chastity stood by the bathroom door and spoke. "Nadia? It's Chasity, can you let me in?"
A second later the door opened and Nadia pulled Chasity into the bathroom before shutting the door in my face.
"Seriously? She can come in, but I can't?" I asked frustratedly. "Why is this always the case? First when we were just best friends you chose her over me and now I'm your fucking girlfriend and you still won't talk to me?"
"Just let her in. She was going to find out eventually." Chasity called herself whispering.
"Find out what?" I asked through the door and I heard Chasity say "Ouch." and Nadia calling her a dumbass and telling her to learn how to fucking whisper.
"Just for that," Chasity opened the door. "Come in."She said pulling me inside and closing it behind me.
Nadia was sitting on the toilet with the lid down and a bottle of pills in her hands. There were also a few other pill bottles in the little compartment that was usually hidden behind the mirror.
"I would assume that you were trying to overdose, but Chasity isn't freaking out." I said staring between Nadia and the different medications.
"That'd be ironic for me to overdose on antidepressants wouldn't it?" Nadia chuckled humorlessly.
I didn't really know what to say, so I just looked are her, both shocked and sympathetic. I didn't know she was depressed. I didn't know and still don't know a lot about her.
"Don't look at me like that. I watched my mom kill herself. It was bound to have some type of effect on me." Nadia said confusing me slightly.
She said she watched her mom kill herself, but before she said she found her like that. I'm sure both would have traumatic effects on anyone that had to go through them, but still.
"You watched her?" I asked just wanting her to make things more clear.
"Jayla was the only person that knew the truth for a while, but I told Chasity and now you know. I saw her do it. I watched her put a gun to her head and pull the trigger. I was scared that I'd get in trouble so I lied and said she was already dead when I walked in. I guess that's why I can't get over it. I could have stopped her. She didn't hear me come in. Everything just happened so fast, but I could have stopped her. I should have said something." Nadia said breaking down completely. "I don't hate her. I hate myself. I could have stopped her."
"It wasn't your fault, Nadia." I said trying to go to her, but she stood up and backed away from me.
"Yes it was! I was young, but I understood what was happening. If I would have just said something she wouldn't have done it. But I just stood there and watched her do it. She did it because of me. I ruined her life. She hated me."
I felt bad for Nadia. I had no idea how to comfort her. The last time this happened she didn't talk to me for a month and I didn't want to go through that again.
"She didn't hate you." I said not knowing what else to say.
"She never told me she loved me, Daniella. Not once. She never smiled at me. She never played with me. She could barely look at me. Malaya was more of a mother to me than she ever was and she was just a kid like I was." Nadia said sadly as she continued to cry.
Her words gave me an idea. I pulled out my phone to call Malaya, but Nadia snatched my phone out of my hand.
"Don't call her. She'll know I haven't been taking my meds if you tell her." She said looking worried.
"Why haven't you been taking them?" I asked.
"I haven't needed them. Jayla was out of my life and I have you." She wiped at her runny red nose.
"If you're supposed to take those, you should take them." I reasoned, but Nadia shook her head.
"I can't feel with them. They make me an emotionless robot. I hate that." She complained.
"Then why did you have them?" I asked.
"Chasity was trying to make me take them. I was going to pretend to take one so she'd leave me alone." Nadia confessed and I would have laughed if this situation wasn't so serious.
"I don't need them." Nadia continued. "I don't want to hurt myself. I haven't in a long time. She's just a trigger. I can't see her. I can't talk to her."
I remembered what Jayla said on the phone and I didn't know whether or not to tell Nadia, but maybe it was important.
"She said something about someone being gone. I think that's why she called. I don't think she meant to bother you, but she sounded pretty desperate." I revealed and Nadia's mouth fell open.
"Oh my God." She mumbled before rushing past me.
"Where's my phone?" She said searching frantically for the thing. "Where the fuck is my phone, Daniella?!"
"It's right here." I said grabbing the phone off the floor. It fell while she was searching for it.
"I'm so stupid. I should have known that's the only reason she'd call." Nadia said calling Jayla back.
"Please pick up." She mumbled then her face fell.
"It went straight to voicemail." She said looking worried.
"What else did she say?" She asked looking panicked.
"She said that she needed you. That you were the only person that could understand. And that she couldn't be alone." I said thinking telling her everything would help.
"Fuck." She said running a hand down her face.
"What's going on?" I asked trying to understand.
"Her mom died. She was on drugs. That's something Jayla and I had in common. It's why we got close in the first place. We understood each other. Jayla would never admit it, but she was just as messed up as I was." Nadia informed me.
"You don't think she'll-"
"No." Nadia said cutting me off. "I was the suicidal one. Jayla just does stupid shit. She might go vandalize something or try to kick someone's ass, but she'd never hurt herself." Nadia seemed sure, but I didn't know.
"When you told her to die, she said she's wanted to since the day she broke your heart." I recalled and Nadia chuckled.
"She's a manipulative little shit." She spoke with little emotion.
"She sounded sincere, Nadia. I mean when she was telling you about loving you and never cheating. You really think she was lying?" I asked and Nadia rolled her eyes.
"That's what Jayla does. She's a liar."
I didn't feel like Jayla was lying. I understood her because I was like her. I did the same thing to Mya. Sort of. We were never together, but I let her believe I was messing around with other girls when I wasn't.
"I don't think she was lying, Nadia."
I felt like Nadia was letting her anger towards her ex speak for her. I know deep down she believed her. I know she was worried.
"What, so all hoes understand each other now?" Nadia scoffed.
Yeah, so she just called me a hoe. I'd be offended, but I knew it was the anger talking.
"Just try calling her again." I said refusing to let Nadia's words get to me.
"Why do you even care about her?" She asked and I couldn't really answer that question. I guess I cared because I knew Nadia cared about her. I didn't want Nadia to regret not being there for her when she needed her.
"I care because you care. You're mad at her, but you still care about her." I spoke and Nadia chuckled.
"Yeah, I care about her, but I know her better than you do. She cheated on me. She lied to me for years and she's lying now. She left me at my worst and now that she's at her worst, she wants me. If it wasn't for her mother, I wouldn't even care, but I know she needs someone right now and she never talks about her mother."
"Call her." I said again and Nadia rolled her eyes before calling Jayla again only to get no answer.
"Do you know where she could be?" Chasity asked and Nadia shrugged.
"Probably at some bitch's house." She shrugged and it irritated me.
"Could you stop being bitter for one fucking minute? Her fucking mother just died and she needs you. I understand that she hurt you, but please tell me you're not as heartless as you seem right now." I asked feeling slightly disgusted by Nadia. I don't know if I should have, but I did. What if I made a mistake? Would she hate me this much?
"How about you get the fuck out of my room and my damn business?" Nadia asked with so much venom in her voice that it made my heart sink.
"Aight bet." I said nodding my head. "You really need to take your fucking meds. You're a heartless bitch without them."
After that I left Nadia's room and was heading back to mine when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around thinking it was Nadia, but it was Chasity.
"She didn't mean any of that." Chastity said looking like she felt bad for me.
"I know, but it still hurts. Why doesn't she trust me? She'll talk to you before she talks to me. I need her to talk to me. I want to help, but I don't know what to do. I love her so much, but-"
"Wait." Chasity said cutting me off. "You love her or you love her?"
"Could you get out of shipper mode for like two seconds?" I chuckled.
"I just want to know. You two haven't been together long and you're already dropping L bombs." Chasity laughed and I shrugged.
"We haven't been together for long, but I know what I feel. I love her. It's not like I told her yet. We're not ready for all that. Especially not when she doesn't trust me."
"Her behavior has nothing to do with you. You need to understand that. And there is a lot about her and Jayla that you don't know. Shoot, there is a lot I don't even know. Nadia had a messed up child hood and she's still suffering from it-mentally speaking. She's been through so much, so please don't let this affect your relationship. Jayla ran away because she couldn't handle the person that Nadia becomes when she's hurting. Don't be like her. She's going to say things she doesn't mean, but don't listen. It's not her."
I listened to Chasity and I knew she was right, but the last time Nadia got like this, she didn't want anything to do with me.
"Just go back in there. You don't even have to talk to her. Just be with her."
"She probably doesn't want to see me." I sighed.
"You know that month she didn't speak to you, you were all she talked about when she wasn't crying herself to sleep. She pushed you away because she thought you were going to run. She felt like pushing you away before you could run was her having control over everything. She wants to see you. Trust me." Chasity assured.
"Are you sure?" I asked still a little hesitant.
"Yes, just stay the night with her, I'll sleep in your room." She offered and I nodded before handing her my room key and she did the same.
"Don't be in there trying on my clothes." I said jokingly.
"I'll put everything back how I found it." Chastity said walking away.
I laughed at her and heading back to Nadia's room. Hopefully this doesn't go as bad as I think it will.
-
When I walked back into Nadia's room she was lying on her bed on her side, crying with one of my shirts clutched to her chest.
Aww, she loves me.
"You know you could have the real thing if you'd be nicer." I said making her jump.
"Why are you back?" She asked slipping my shirt under her pillow like I hadn't already seen it. She wiped at her tears and tried to look like she didn't want me here, but I knew better.
"Because I missed you." I said kicking my shoes off and climbing onto her bed. "And you wanted me to come back."
"No I didn't." Nadia said still trying to push me away.
"Then why were you clutching my shirt like an obsessed weirdo?" I ask teasingly.
"I was using it to blow my nose." She lied and I chuckled.
"Well I'm here now, so just use the shirt I'm wearing." I said scooting closer to Nadia and wrapping my arms around her.
Without resisting, Nadia buried her face in the crook of my neck and sniffled.
"I'm sorry for what I said to you." She mumbled and I held her tighter.
"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it." I said placing a kiss on her forehead.
"I'm not going to take those damn pills though. I hate how they make me feel. Well, how they make me not feel."
"I get that you hate them, but if they help-"
"They don't help. They literally just make me numb. I'm not really dealing with my problems or getting better. It's cheating." Nadia said sounding like a child.
"It's cheating?" I chuckled.
"Yes. I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all." Nadia spoke.
"I think you should talk to her." I said knowing Nadia would know who I was talking about.
"I know." She sighed. "I believe her. About the never cheating on me thing. I know she was telling the truth because she never cries. I should have just talked to her."
I could tell Nadia felt guilty.
"Try again. Calling her, I mean."
"She's not going to answer." She sighed, but she grabbed her phone anyway.
Nadia called Jayla back and I'm guessing it didn't go straight to voicemail because she had the device to her ear for longer than before.
"Jayla?" She asked and then let out a sigh of relief.
"I was just shocked. I didn't know what to say." Nadia spoke into the phone.
"I left the room and my girlfriend was listening. I didn't know until she told me. I'm sorry, Jay. I know how much she meant to you."
Nadia was listening to Jayla speak and she frowned a little.
"I don't know if my girlfriend would be okay with that." She said looking at me for a second.
"Okay with what?" I asked curiously.
"She wants to come see me. She also doesn't want to be alone tonight." Nadia said sort of beating around the bush.
"I don't have a problem with that. She needs you." I said shrugging.
I understood how hard losing a parent could be. I wasn't about to be a dick about the situation. And besides, I trusted Nadia.
"She said it's fine if you come. But she'll be here too just in case you get any ideas." Nadia warned.
I honestly wasn't worried.
"I'm not saying you are. Just no bullshit, Jayla. I'm serious."
After Nadia hung up the phone, she sighed and lied back on the bed.
"She'll be here in like 30 minutes." Nadia informed me. I'm gonna go down and let her in when she gets here. She's gonna want me to hold her." Nadia said still looking at the ceiling.
"Then hold her." I said lying beside her and staring at the ceiling too.
"All night." She added and I shrugged.
"Then hold her all night."
"You won't be jealous?"
"No. Her mom just died. She needs you. If my mom died, I'd need someone." I spoke sincerely. "If she looks better than me, I might be a little salty though."
"Damn." Nadia said laughing and making me snap my head in her direction.
"Wait. Does she look better than me?" I asked not really caring. I just wanted to make Nadia laugh.
"Let's just say I had better taste before we met." Nadia said making me gasp.
"Wow. Deadass?" I asked sitting up and eyeing her.
"I guess you'll find out when she gets here." Nadia shrugged before sitting up and getting in my face.
"Be there for her." I said looking into her eyes to let her know that I was completely okay with it.
"I will." She nodded.
"I'm serious, Nadia. Whatever she needs-for however long-be there." I was just thinking about how I had no one when my dad died outside of my mother. She was enough, but she had just lost her husband. Her soulmate. Her best friend. Yet, she was comforting me because I couldn't hold myself together. She needed someone too.
"Why are you pushing this?" She asked looking more curious than irritated.
"I'm just putting myself in her shoes. I know she fucked up, but no one deserves to go through something like this alone."
"You're amazing." Nadia said caressing one of my cheeks.
"I know." I said smiling at her and making her roll her eyes.
"Don't try to act like an asshole now." She said mushing me.
"I thought you liked that side of me better." I said remembering all the times Nadia got on to me for being too sweet.
"That's because I was trying not to fall for you back then." She said staring into my eyes with this look on her face that gave me butterflies.
"And now?" I asked matching her gaze.
Before Nadia could answer her phone starting ringing.
"It's her." She gave me a weak smile before answering her phone.
"Here I come."
When Nadia left the room I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was even holding in. How did things change so drastically? We had our first fight and make up as a couple within an hour of talking about how we never wanted to fight.
I heard someone putting their keycard in the door and I knew it was Nadia because Chasity was staying in my room tonight.
Nadia came in with a girl that was my skin complexion with short curly hair, freckles and pretty grey eyes. Her hair cut was nice as fuck and the simple part design she had made it look even better. I recognized her from the game because she was the only person really scoring for the other team. She was obviously their best player. I felt bad that she got stuck with a sorry ass team.
She had on some Nike joggers and a white t-shirt. Taking another look at her face, I realized that her eyes were red and puffy and her nose was red as well. I'll admit, Nadia wasn't lying when she said she had good taste. This girl looked good even at her worst. I oddly wasn't jealous.
"Daniella, this is Jayla. Jayla, Daniella." Nadia said introducing us.
"You can call me Dani." I said going to shake Jayla's hand.
"And you can call me Jay." She spoke, shaking my hand.
Her voice was smooth and raspy at the same time. I couldn't explain it. We were the same height and pretty much the same build, but Jayla had a little more muscle on her. So Nadia has a type.
"Thank you for being cool with this. I promise there will be no funny shit. I just can't be alone right now and I have no one else. My mother was the only family I had that accepted me and now she's gone." Jayla explained trying to hold herself together, but I could tell talking about it got to her.
"It's no problem. I know what it's like. My dad passed last year. My situation isn't the same, but as far as losing a parent goes, I get it."
"I'm sorry about your dad."
"Thanks. I'm sorry about your mom."
"Thanks."
There was an awkward silence until Nadia spoke.
"Okay, Jayla, you can just sit your stuff anywhere." Nadia told her before plopping down on her bed. I could tell she felt a little uncomfortable. Maybe she thought that there would be tension between Jayla and me, but she had nothing to worry about. Jayla seemed nice and she was hurting.
"Thank you for this, Nadia. Seriously." Jayla said sitting her stuff down and standing awkwardly by the bed.
"It's okay." I said encouraging her to sit next to Nadia so she could get whatever she needed to off her chest.
"I'll step out for a minute if you need me to." I offered, but Jayla shook her head and Nadia looked panicked.
"No, you're her girlfriend. There's nothing I'm going to say to her that you can't hear. I respect Nadia's happiness." Jayla said making it really hard to dislike her. Not that I wanted to. She's cool.
"Okay, well I'm just gonna play the game." I said grabbing one of the controllers to my PlayStation 4 and sitting on Chasity's bed.
I brought my game to Nadia's room since I spend a lot of time in here.
"So what happened?" Nadia asked Jayla and she sighed.
"She overdosed. This is why I wanted to go to school online. I shouldn't have left her alone." Jayla blamed herself. "My neighbor went to check on her and found her passed out on the kitchen floor. By the time paramedics got there, she was already gone. They tried to save her, but it was too late."
"She was doing well for a little while, but I think she didn't feel the need to stay clean with me being gone. I shouldn't have left."
"You really think staying would have changed anything?" Nadia asked.
"She tried for me." Jayla responded. "She just needed a reason."
"Doesn't it bother you that you were the only reason? She had to want to get better too. Not just for you, but for herself. That's what was missing. It had nothing to do with you not being there." Nadia tried, but Jayla disagreed.
"It had everything to do with me not being there. I get that she should have wanted to get better for herself, but I knew she didn't and I still left. My mom wasn't perfect, but she loved me. When I was around she set her problems to the side and made sure I was good no matter what. She never let her addiction stop her from being my mother. She was always using, but-I don't know. I just don't want to look at this as her giving up. I don't want it to be her fault. I don't want any reason to hate her, but she left me too. I wasn't enough to make her stick around."
"She didn't do it because of you, Jay. She was sick. She needed help, but she didn't want it. You can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. She was happy for you going off to college. She was proud of you. She loved you so much and she showed it. She wouldn't want you blaming yourself for this." Nadia comforted her.
"I just wish she was still here. She's all I have. My aunts hate me just because I'd rather kiss a girl than a fucking guy. I don't even know what to do. I don't have a home to go to outside of school. I don't have any family that wants me. I'm alone."
"You're not alone. You've got me." Nadia said with an arm around her, but Jayla just scoffed.
"You're only doing this because my mom died. If I just called you out the blue wanting to explain everything, You wouldn't have even hesitated to tell me to go to hell."
Jayla was right. Nadia did say that she was only willing to see Jayla because of her mom.
"Well can you blame me? Our past isn't all unicorns and rainbows. You really hurt me, Jayla."
"And I'm sorry, but I swear to God I never cheated on you. I let you believe it because I knew you'd break up with me. I couldn't be there for you and hold myself together with everything I was going through. I like bottling up my feelings and ignoring my problems, but you've always put these emphasis on feelings. I hate feelings, Nadia. I fucking hate them."
I was expecting more tears from Jayla, but instead she wiped her eyes and stood up.
"Fuck this. I'm done crying." She said putting on a smile that would have been convincing had I not known what was going on.
"You came here to let everything out. It's okay to feel things, Jayla. You can bottle it up all you want to, but all those emotions are going to need a release eventually." Nadia tried to reason with her, but she wasn't hearing it.
"You got another controller?" Jayla turned her attention to me.
I didn't know whether or not to say anything so I looked at Nadia and she nodded her head, letting me know that it was okay.
"Um, yeah. It's right over there." I pointed in the direction of my other controller.
"Wanna get beat at your own game?" Jayla asked with a smirk and I scoffed.
"No one can beat me." I said earning a scoff from Nadia.
"That's only because you play Chasity and me knowing we don't know what the hell we're doing." She butted in.
"Gio can't beat me either and he plays 2K all the time." I pointed out.
"Well, just know that I play all the time too, but I'm going to beat you."
"Say less." I said saving my progress and going back to the home screen.
-
"Yeah nigga. What I tell you?!" Jayla said getting all in my face after she beat me. By one fucking point.
"Man, I want a rematch. You know 2K be cheating." I said being a sore loser. I hate losing.
"Nah, take that L like a woman." Jayla said laughing at me and I laughed too.
"I still want my rematch though."
"Maybe some other time, I need to shower. Kicking your ass got me a little sweaty."
"Just wait. I'm gonna make you eat those words." I threatened.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She said waving me off.
Jayla grabbed her things and walked into the bathroom.
"You two can not be friends. I see it happening and I do not approve." Nadia said pointing a finger at me.
"But she's cool." I said with a frown.
"No, Dani."
"But I finally have competition in 2K."
"No."
I just rolled my eyes. I guess I had to listen to Nadia when it came to Jayla. They had a past and it wasn't a good one. I had to respect her wishes. Even if I didn't want to.
"I can't believe you're actually pouting right now because I told you that you couldn't be friends with my ex." Nadia said sitting beside me on Chasity's bed.
"She needs all the people she can get right now and I'm willing to be one of them. I get that you two have history, but right now, you're all she has. She could use more friends." I pointed out.
"This is weird, Daniella. She's my ex and you're my girlfriend. You're supposed to hate each other." Nadia whined.
"Well I don't hate her." I shrugged. "I actually like her."
"Oh my goodness." Nadia groaned. "She likes you too. I can already tell."
"Yay." I said smiling and Nadia slapped me upside my head like my mother did when ever I said or did something stupid or disrespectful.
"Ain't no damn yay." Nadia said sounding frighteningly similar to my mother.
"You sound like my mom." I giggled.
"Oh wow. I did. She's rubbing off on me." Nadia chuckled.
"You're not allowed to have this weird friendship with my mother." I said thinking about how often my mother has called Nadia since we've been together.
"Oh uh uh. Momma Fuller is cool as hell. And she tells me embarrassing stories from your childhood. Not to mention all the baby pictures she's sent."
"She sent you baby pictures?!" I gasped.
I was a weird ass little kid. Not to mention that damn ugly stage I went through. I hope it was just baby pictures and nothing from middle school. Oh God. Please no pictures from middle school.
"You were so cute." Nadia said pinching my cheeks and making me groan. "But why were you always naked?"
"I need to have a very serious talk with my mother." I said finding my phone and leaving the room despite Nadia begging me not to through her laughter.
My mom is in serious trouble.
***
If you don't treat ya momma right, bye bye, bye bye 👋🏽
Hello to all my readers. Thank you to everyone that has gotten this far. I know I don't update very often, so I'd understand if people were to lose interest. I won't lie and say that I'll get better because I have to worry about school, basketball, soccer, and I'll start work study soon (not that any of you care). I'm just saying, my ass is busy.
How many Harmonizers do I have here? 👀 #FifthHarmony is bomb af. Am I right or am I right?
If you are a Harmonizer, what's your favorite song from the album? I honestly can't choose. All I know is I get a little gayer every time I watch the He Like That video. 😍😫🤤
Just in case anyone hasn't seen it. 😊 Go a head. Get a little gay. Unless you're a guy.
But on a serious note, thank you for your reads. Thank you to the few of you that vote and comment especially. Thank you just for taking time out of your day to see what crap I come up with. I really appreciate it. :') ❤️
Also, tell me what you think of Jayla? Can she be trusted?
I'm gonna slide out of here now. ✌🏽
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