The nurse had been quick in taking Bella's blood, and when she had left, there wasn't much said between the two of us. I held her and silently rubbed her back until she fell into a deep slumber.
Bella sleeps like she's dead, that's one of the many things I've learned about her in the short time we had been together. Of course that got me thinking, of everything else I've learned about her since I found her. Quietly, I pulled away from her and left the room, I walked quickly to my fathers office and lightly tapped on the door.
"Come in." I heard his voice from the other side, I opened the door and poked my head in.
"Hey." I said casually, before walking into the room the rest of the ways.
"Edward." My fathers voice was coloured with surprise. "I didn't think you were going to leave Bella today."
"I didn't want to, I was just..." I trailed off for a moment, before looking down to the floor and continuing slowly, "I was just wondering if you had a spare notebook and pen."
There was silence for a minute, and I knew what he was thinking of. When everything began with Tanya I had severe issues with depression and anxiety, i would spend hours writing and making lists to distract myself from the inevitable darkness that loomed over me. It worked for a while... until that night. I haven't done it since.
He opened his drawer and looked around before hauling out a black notebook, he quickly opened it up and checked to see if there was anything in it before passing it over to me, along with a pen that had his name and number engraved in the side of it.
"I think a bit of therapeutic writing could do some good for you right now." He mumbled.
"Yeah," I sighed, shutting my eyes. "Have you heard anything yet?"
"Not yet, the second I know something, you'll know, I promise." I nodded at his reassurance before looking out at him.
"Best case scenario?" I questioned.
"She had a lot on her mind, she was stressing out, it overwhelmed her, and her body just shut down for a bit to recharge." He answered quickly. "It happens more than you would think."
"Worst case scenario?" I questioned again.
He took a deep breath and looked up at me, but his lips didn't move to answer me.
"Dad, please" I whispered, "I'm drowning here."
"I wish you would have used protection." He murmured, his eyes staying firm on mine.
"I fucked up." I sighed. My rules for not swearing in front of my father had gone. I knew it was disrespectful, I guess I purposely gave him something else to be angry about. Because I deserved it.
"Yes, you did." He said, glancing down at his desk, I was surprised he didn't mention my stepping out of line, as he did the first and last time I cursed when I was a child. Of course, back then I wasn't aware I would get in trouble for saying 'bastard'.
"There's one more thing, we didn't mention." I paused, glancing back towards the door, avoiding my fathers eyes. "When we were camping Bella and I got into an argument and I left her alone, when I went back to talk to her, she was gone. We found her in the woods, unconscious. She was really cold. I carried her back and warmed her up by holding her. She seemed fine though, in the morning."
He stayed silent for a minute, and I didn't dare look back to see the expression on his face. I could hear the seconds painfully tick by as they turned into minutes, after about three long painful minutes, my father finally spoke.
"How long was she out in the woods?" He asked.
"I don't know." I replied.
"Edward," my father warned.
"No, dad i seriously don't know." I looked back at him, frowning, "I was just so angry at her, I didn't want to be around her, so I left her and went over to the fire with the others, and then I started drinking. I don't know how long I was over there, a couple of hours, maybe? And I don't know when Bella left the tent, it could have been right after I left her or an hour after I left her, I wasn't thinking, I was just angry. I hadn't been so angry in a long time."
"I wish you both had told me this, of course this could play a factor in what's wrong with Bella." He sighed, pushing himself up from his desk chair. "As a matter of fact I should go add it to her chart. See if i can't make a connection."
I nodded once and turned on my heel, deciding to leave my father without another word. I made a bee line for Bella's room, clutching the notebook tight to my side as I rhythmically and nervously tapped the pen off my thigh.
When I came to her door, I opened it just enough to peek inside. The first thing I noticed was her sleeping face, her hair spread on the pillow around her, she looked so peaceful it almost made you forget where you were. I smiled softly as I walked the rest of the way in and shut the door behind me.
"Ahem." I heard a familiar voice call my attention from the other side of the room, and after a small jump, I looked up heart pounding to meet the gaze of Charlie Swan as he exited the attached bathroom.
"Chief." I greeted breathlessly as my hand flew over my heart, "you scared me."
"Edward, I've told you once I'll tell you again, call me Charlie. And sorry, I wasn't thinking about that." His gruff voice sounded odd matched with an apology. "I brought you some coffee, and some doughnuts, of course, cause who can survive a stay in the hospital without doughnuts?"
He gestured over to the bedside table where a tray off coffees sat alongside a box of a dozen doughnuts.
"Thanks," I murmured softly, glancing back at Bella's sleeping form, i focused on her chest, rising and falling with each breath she took, truth be told, I was ashamed. I didn't want to look into her fathers eyes, because either way you spin this, it all comes up my fault.
My fault. My fault.
Damn it.
"Whats that?" Charlie inquired, pointing at the notebook in my hand.
"Oh, my dad gave it to me," i answered, holding it up for Charlie to see. "Thought i could use some writing time."
Charlie glanced back at his daughter, and then to me.
"I can't stay," he admitted. "I have to get back to the station.. take care of my daughter, will you?"
"Of course." I said, my voice cracking a little bit, knowing i had failed to care for her.
Luckily, Charlie left then without saying another word, and patted my shoulder as he walked by. Once he was gone I simply stood in place, hesitating for a few minutes.
Bella let out a soft groan in her sleep, causing me to stir. Quickly i walked over and sat next to her. Pressing a soft kiss on her forehead before flipping open the notebook. I'll start with a list. The most horrible words i can think of.
1.Moist
2. Blog
3. Feet
4. Yolk
5. Gurgle
5. Phlegm
6. Glutton
7. Chunk
8. Slobber
9. Squirt
10. Chunky
11. Orifice
12. Maggots
13. Viscous
14. Queasy
15. Pompous
16. Pustule
17. Fester
18. Slyvine
19. Munching
20. Cocoon
Wasn't helping. Bella stirred in the bed next to me before going back into a deep sleep. I smiled softly - reasons i love Bella.
1. Beautiful
2. Kind
3. Compassionate
4. Funny
5. Warm
6. The most soul melting brown eyes.
7. Her voice
8. Her heart
9. The way she squints when i annoy her
10. The way she smiles when she blushes.
11. The bright red blush on her cheeks.
12. The scent of flowers that always accompanys her presence
13. Her big pouty lips
14. The way her lips are always warm when i press mine to them.
15. She sees the good in me
16. She was by my side, even online before i really met her, when i needed a friend.
17. She has the same favorite band as me and knows what and when to quote their lyrics to make me smile.
18. She holds so very much power over me, and doesnt realize it.
19. She makes me want to take the world, simply so i can give it to her.
20. She is everything i have ever wanted and everything i never knew i needed.
21. I would swim the length of the ocean to be next to her.
22. She says my name in a way that makes me tingle, making me fall in love more than i ever thought i could.
23. She is, always has been, and always will be, my bright light in a sea of dark.
24. Isabella Swan will become Isabella Cullen.
Just then the nurse came in, throwing the door open and frightening my Bella awake.
"I'm sorry," she said quickly once she realised what she had done.
"Its fine." Bella said quickly. Willingness to forgive. I mentally added that as number 25 on my list.
"I just wanted to let you know that your bloodwork came back pretty clear, you're not pregnant, your bloodsugar is pretty low though, so is your iron, do you eat a lot of red meat?" The nurse inquired as i breathed a sigh of relief and dropped my head onto the bed next to Bella's leg.
Her hand immediately found my hair and she began soothingly running her fingers through it, causing a soft groan from me.
"No, I'm not all that fussy." She admitted, the discomfort in her tone caused me to look up.
"Well, start." The nurse commanded, causing bellas nose to wrinkle up. "Dr. Cullen is working on your discharge papers, and then you can go home, given you promise to take the medication we prescribed to you."
"Yes ma'am. " Bella eagerly agreed.
"I'll make sure of it," i promised, gaining a smack on the arm from Bella. "Ouch!" I teased.
The nurse let out a soft chuckle at us and then went on her way.
I was over the moon. My Bella got to go home.
A/N ; so, obviously this was a filler chapter, obviously you guys deserve more but i kind of wrote myself into a corner and I'm working on a way to get out of it. Hey! I had my baby! Beautiful baby girl named Kyra. She keeps my hands (and heart) full! I will try and update faster this time, as always; leave me some love! 💓