SONG-IFYOUHADAZUNEIHATEYOU;BONES
"When will you realize? Just another tease to the side."
-
Harry, unfazed by my displeasure, was irritated at the fact that his clothes were soaked in what I thought used to be something that helped me go to sleep at night. I wouldn't shut a single eye knowing I was sleeping in an apartment with strangers all because of some fucking rain. "They're not letting anyone go out in the streets because it's pouring out. Have you seen what it's like out there?"
"Okay yeah I have but I can't stay here." A nervous laugh tumbled from my lips as I walked over to him with my hands fidgeting around my belt buckles. "I have things to do like, wash my face, exfoliate, do my homework."
Randall walked out with a girl attached to his hip but I didn't even plan on studying her features like I usually do because I was so pissed. Pissed at myself for riding with Harry, pissed at myself for leaving my book bag in the car and pissed at myself for being annoying and only bringing my phone. Sure I could call my mom for help but I could've used anyone's phone to do that. It just reminded me of how much my life revolved around carrying this thing that hardly buzzed with any notifications.
Harry placed his hands on both of my shoulders and looked me in the eye. "We are staying here. We are not going out in that-" a boom of thunder rocked me out of my unreasonable pleas and sent me back into reality only for a moment. He looked up and out the window above the computer the guys were at, Alec's eyes wide and fearful as lightning appeared just after the thunder crackled.
"Guys I'm fucking scared."
One of the guys, who's name I remembered to be Jacob, snapped in Alec's direction. "Shut the fuck up."
I looked to Randall and then the girl who was half dressed. She wore a long t shirt and her hair was mangled up in braids, her long arm reaching out for me to shake her hand. "I'm Zara, pleased to meet you." Her voice was croaky and her hands were soft and warm as I shook them. "I have some exfoliating face wash if you'd like to use it."
I looked to Harry with a smile, but it was anything but genuine. "I'm fine, thank you."
She shrugged and detached herself from Randall's side before walking into the kitchen to open the freezer. Randall snapped his fingers to get everyone's attention and I sunk into Harry's chest unintentionally because he provided me security when the uncertainty train rolled around, clawing at my insides. "You heard British boy. All of y'all can't leave. Just to lay a couple ground rules; I only have one guest bedroom. I'm gonna be nice and hand it to the only other couple in the room, Harry and her. None of y'all disturb them-"
"We're not a-" Harry and I both began at the same time, only to be interrupted by the groans and moans coming from the guys.
Jacob got up from the computer chair and reached into one pizza box of many and discovered it to be empty. I stepped away from Harry and Randall glanced at me questioningly before continuing his long speech. "Y'all will stay in here. There's a few blankets in the hall closet and you can use those. I ran out of pillows so... bundle up your jackets or something."
"Baby. There's no food." His girlfriend called out after slamming the freezer door, a look of sadness plastered across her face soon to be plastered over my own and everyone else's faces.
I excused myself to the guest room and pulled out my phone to text my mom. I told her some bullshit lie about me staying at Alicia's, then I texted Alicia and told her to tell my mom, no matter what, that I was residing at her house. She was confused for a bit but I told her I'd explain at school the next day, if I even got enough sleep to go.
Harry came into the room I went into to make my calls, shutting the door behind him. "You don't know how much I hate you right now."
"Why do you hate me?" He chuckled, leaning against the door. "Be mad at the rain. It's not my fault the roads are flooded, we live on a very hilly-"
"Harry. I am in a house with people I do not know. I barely know you, and you all are on drugs!"
"Apartment."
"What?"
"It's not a house, it's an apartment." He chuckled. "And they're all on drugs. Not I."
"Oh so now you think this is funny? Harry we have class tomorrow." I tried to emphasize on the word class to see if it actually got through his skull, but he only seemed to furrow his bushy eyebrows. "I don't know if you're cool with not sleeping in your bed but I would like to sleep in mine. I haven't eaten since lunch and I left my chips in the auditorium-"
"So now it's my fault?" He suddenly barked and I furrowed my brows at his abrupt mood change, even though I understood why. He had a reason to be aggravated, I was screaming at him. "No one was holding a knife to your neck forcing you to come with me."
"Maybe not a knife but a plastic spoon that screamed, if you say no, I'll do some damage." I challenged him humorously, just a little intimidated by his dominating nature soon to get worse if I kept retaliating.
He scoffed before throwing his hands up. "You know what? You're right. It's all my fault you decided to ride with me in my car to my friend's house."
"Don't do that."
His lips curled and his nose flared. "Do what? Tell you you're right? Cause that's what you want to hear, isn't it. I wouldn't put you in that type of situation."
"And how do I know that? We barely know each other, Harry. We met in a fucking park three weeks ago. The roads could be completely fine for all I know!"
"So now I'm the creepy senior who's prey is a naive sophomore like yourself. Please give yourself some credit. You're not that fucking stupid." Harry began to take a few steps forward. "Go outside. Check for yourself. The roads are blocked, Aida. The storm that's coming? It's not going to fucking stop to prove a point. Sometimes you just have to deal with the shit you have." He clearly showed me that not only was he mad at me, but mad at the way I was acting.
I whispered as he moved closer to me, irises darkening and fists clenching at his sides. "Okay hey, relax. I guess I'll be fine." My attempt in changing my attitude didn't suffice as he cornered me against the dresser, the space between us drastically decreasing. "Harry?" He looked fucking pissed at me and I thought calling his name would bring him back into reality.
"You won't guess. You will be fine. You have a bed to sleep in. Be grateful." He growled before reaching into his jean jacket pocket, pulling out a flattened bag of chips. They were the potato chips I left in the auditorium that evening. "You left these." Harry turned away from me, beginning to walk back over to the door that he closed behind him just a few minutes prior.
"Wait-" I called out to him, hearing commotion through the thin walls. I didn't want it to end how it did; we had to sleep in the same bed after all. Biting my lip and wondering if the others were listening to us, I paused for a millisecond to hear if they were still talking about the frame rate on the video. They were.
"What." Harry hissed after I hadn't spoken for a while.
I gulped back my words, seeing his back muscles contracting under the jacket he had on, glancing at the side of his face with my eyes wide. "Is there something.. more? I feel like this is deeper than what we're arguing about." The way he was yelling at me didn't quite click with the situation. He had so much anger built up and I had so much confusion, we were arguing but so many things were left unsaid.
"You're very ungrateful." He didn't waste any time or sugarcoat it. One hand reached up to his curls like it always did, ruffling the drying hair. There was a good amount of silence between the both of us, his words sinking into the air and making it heavier than it already was. I didn't say anything back because I was too busy trying to understand all of it fully. "I could've let you walk in the rain. I didn't have to give you a ride. I didn't even have to bring you here, into my world. But you know what? I did. And you just can't seem to wrap your head around that. It's very frustrating."
I looked down at my feet in shame, but gathered up my words to say calmly. "Harry. I am grateful, I am very glad you gave me a ride. But this wasn't like, you introducing me to your friends because you wanted to." I let my words settle in for a second as my hands held the bag of chips close to my chest. "I'm not someone special in your life. I'm not. People pass through, you have experiences with them and they move on."
He turned around with his head tilted to the side just a bit. "Not all the time." He muttered.
A yawn fell from my lips unexpectedly and I tried to hold it back, bringing one hand up to cover my mouth. "What do you mean?"
"Physically, yes. They move on. But they stay with you. No matter how much you try and forget about them, whether they have hurt you or whether you have hurt them, they have an imprint in your head. Sometimes in your heart." He noticed I wasn't responding and shook his head. "I'll get you some clothes to sleep in."
"Thank you." That was all I could say in that moment, and it still didn't seem like enough. He closed the door behind him, leaving me neither confused nor upset, but somewhere in between.