That's just another picture of my character Mercutio played by my baby Dane Dehaan.
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Mercutio sat next to Alicia at lunch and Danny sat next to me. I wondered why they changed positions all of a sudden, but the Big Bang Theory sweatshirt on Alicia's back gave me all the answers I needed. Danny came up with me when I got my lunch in the lunch line, and I asked him to fill me in as soon as he could. Even though he was Mercutio's best...well, only friend, he couldn't tell me. He didn't know anything.
"I'm just as shocked as you are. Last I heard, she liked Tyler."
"I'm glad she's focusing her attention on someone else, though. It's good for her."
Danny sucked on his teeth and fixed his blonde hair. The line moved a little slower than I expected and I tried tiny best to see what the hold up was. "So.. do you like anyone?" He asked cautiously and rocked on his heels.
"I used to like Dane but he showed his ass yesterday so he's off the market. Or, I'm off his market." I shook my head. "I'm trying to see life through my own eyes. Without anyone's help. You, Danny Boy?" When I looked at him, his lips curled into a tiny smile and he reached up to rub it off. I bit the inside of my cheek and tucked some hair behind my ear as I waited for him to reply.
"There's this girl in our geometry class." He smiled when he spoke and his face lit up. Danny was a really cute guy, but I could tell girls didn't bother talking to him because he was the nice guy. That's what every girl does. "She doesn't know I exist though." I could hear the pain laced in his voice and I frowned, placing my hand on his shoulder.
"What's her name?"
"I'm not telling you," he laughed nervously and shook my hand off, stepping a few steps forward in the line and looking around the lunch room. "She doesn't know I exist so what's the point."
"Oh come onnnnn. Blake? Jennifer? Tell me Danny, please. I want to be your matchmaker. I'll set you guys up and host your little dates-"
He began to playfully groan and he squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. "I should've never told you."
When I got my sandwich we walked back over to the table to see Mercutio and Alicia the way we left them. Alicia was never big on pda and Mercutio was socially awkward; the only thing he could talk about started with the phrase "in recent studies...". He never showed any emotion other than sarcasm and humor. Alicia did the same. Both of them were perfect for each other. "It's pretty warm outside, Alicia. Is there some reason why you're wearing his sweatshirt?"
"I have low iron levels."
Danny cut my sandwich in half and took the side with the most meat. "And we have low-toleration-to-bullshit levels. Spit it out."
"Did you know that younger women are more susceptible to anemia due to their menstrual cycle? The loss of blood can lead to anemic conditions." Mercutio cleared his throat and his voice cracked a total of five times. It amused me that he'd rather talk about periods than the obvious blooming relationship between him and Alicia. I didn't mind, when they were ready, they'd talk about it.
Or maybe Danny and I brought it to life without the two of them knowing themselves. Fuck.
-
"I think I outed Mercutio's crush on Alicia." I told Harry as we walked to the parking lot together, his keys jangling as he swung them around his index finger. He unlocked his car door and opened the trunk, putting his book bag in and silently asking for mine.
"Who are those two?"
I blew a strand of hair out of my face and gave him my book bag, breathing heavily in the humid air. "Mercutio is the one who looks like a recovering meth addict and Alicia is the one with the blonde hair."
"He's named after Romeo's best friend." Harry laughed.
I didn't know why Dane said what he said the other day. Maybe he just wanted to scare off the little sophomore so I would leave them alone which didn't make sense because Dane didn't even like Harry and they never spent time with each other. Maybe Dane said the shit he said because he didn't like Harry. Either way, what he said didn't apply to the Harry that drove me home everyday after school. I knew I'd drive him away sooner than later, though. It's just how my introversion interfered with things. Whenever I spend a lot of time with someone, it takes me days, even weeks to collect myself once more. Collecting myself means ignoring them. Very few relationships lasted during this complicated and unintentional process.
"Where'd you go?" Harry questioned when he realized I had dozed off. I heard people coming up from behind me and turned around to see a car packed full of guys who looked familiar. The closer the car got, the easier it was to recognize their faces. I turned around before they could recognize mine, but it was too late. They were the jocks that walked the halls like they were the shit, and the guys that followed them but were too shit to make the teams. All of their faces were the same. Their personalities too. Tyler sat in the passenger seat and some senior drove.
A series of honks came from the car and Harry watched as he pulled up slowly. "Taking your girlfriend back home, huh?" He teased and I pointed to Harry's car, telling him I'd wait in there with my eyes. "Gonna get that sloppy toppy, hm?"
"Cut it out, Louis." Harry growled and I opened the door, jumping in.
"I mean, she sure is a catch. Small waist. Big thighs. Mmm. I'd just eat her up." I could hear his voice faintly and it made me sick to my stomach. "I would've already if Tyler wasn't so heartbroken."
I looked into the rear view mirror and saw Harry clenching his fists at his sides. Anger radiated off of his body like the heat waves coming from the gravel of the parking lot. Looking at Louis' face, I could tell he knew Harry. Not only knew, he hated him. He held a sadistic smile on his face and Harry's irritated state only made it grow wider.
"Leave her alone."
"No one's bothering her. No one is." Louis looked around in the car. "Is anyone bothering her, boys?" A chorus erupted from the open windows, all of them screaming no and shaking the car in the process. I flinched when Louis honked the horn again and drove off.
Harry got into the car and slammed the door shut.
"You didn't need to-"
"But I did." Harry looked at me as he put the key in the ignition and started the car. I rested my cheek on my hand and looked out of the window. It raised when he turned the air on and pulled out of the school parking lot. Once he plugged the aux cord into his phone, music started playing immediately. His long fingers reached out to the volume knob, twisting it down just a bit so the car stopped vibrating from the bass. "Do you want to smoke?" He asked politely and I thought I'd shake my head; I hadn't smoked in a while and the last time I did, it was with Tyler. It just brought back memories I wasn't so fond of. "You don't have to. I can drop you off if you want."
"Why do you do it?"
"Smoke?" Harry tightened his lips before giving me an answer, almost as if he didn't trust me enough. "When I smoke, I care a lot less. Caring less is what gets me through."
"So in a sense, you can't function by yourself."
He chuckled and moistened his bottom lip with his tongue before biting it. "In a sense, yeah. Don't worry. I know it's a shitty habit."
"Tyler and I broke up because he cared about weed more than he cared about me."
"Well..." he paused. "We're not together."
I realized how odd it must've sounded coming from me in that time and quickly tried to recover from it, nodding and making sure we connected eyes. "Of course. Yeah, yes. I wasn't saying we were or were ever going to be; I just wanted to tell you something. About myself."
He kept his gaze on the road and reached into one of the cup holders to get his phone and change the song. "Tell me your favorite color if you want me to know something about you." When he chuckled, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in. "Matter of fact, tell me something you've never told anyone."
The park wasn't far from the school and I decided to hold off until we were both sitting somewhere. Our choice of seating was the patch of gravel we sat on the first time we actually had a conversation. Ever since then we've obviously grown closer, but it still felt like we were two strangers just having a simple conversation. I knew nothing about him. He knew very little about me. I didn't even want to walk away from this evening knowing him better, I could've cared less.
"I have a birthmark above my asshole." Was the secret I decided to tell him. Harry handed me the blunt before erupting into a fit of laughter. I inhaled for as long as I could, the smoke literally burning the back of my throat and bringing out a grunt. My coughing fit began to start and his reaction only made me laugh which made shit worse, so I laid down on the hot ground and waited until I caught my breath. After I caught it, I felt the high. Harry still had a long way to go. "That's why people are out here calling me a slut. I'm so open and I don't care about it."
"As long as you know you're not one." Harry laid down with me.
"I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex. I think that brings me a little closer to a slut than anything else."
"It brings you closer to being an indecisive teenager; which is normal." Once handed the blunt, I took another long puff and thought about his words. The weed made my heart race and my vision fucked. Harry took the blunt from me as I closed my eyes. "Your situation is different. You cheated because you felt like you weren't getting attention, right?"
"Mhm." My hair flew on top of my face when the humid wind pushed it. I opened my eyes to see a thick blanket of black blocking my view of the sky.
"I mean, that type of cheating is excusable. You're not a slut."
Usually, I wouldn't agree with his way of thinking. But being in the situation and looking at it from my perspective, of course I defended myself. "Would you ever go out with a girl like me?" My mouth tingled when I asked and I sucked on my bottom lip, tasting the weed. The high was talking, not me.
Harry turned on his stomach and coughed a bit after he brought the blunt to his mouth for the sixth time. He held in all that smoke and blew it out, the cloud lazily floating into the sky. Our eyes locked as he gave me his answer. "Nope."