Dean looked up from the notebook, his eyes wide. He had no idea how to process this. What he'd just read... it was horrible. He flipped through the pages to see that Cas had told and re-told that story so many times. Dean found the most recent one and looked at it. There were more curse words in that one, but most of it was the same. Dean closed the notebook and put it on his bedside table before rolling over, thinking.
Dean didn't eat dinner that night for a multitude of reasons, the biggest one being that he was still processing everything. By the time he'd finally come to terms with everything, it was night. Dean grabbed his phone.
Can you go to the park with me? I can pick you up or meet you there, whatever works.
Cas agreed, so Dean went down to his car and drove to Cas' house. Cas was sitting on the front step to his house and stood up when he saw Dean. Cas didn't meet Dean's eyes as he got into the car, and Dean just started driving to the park without saying a word. Neither of them made any effort to communicate until they were walking down a path through the park.
"I'm really sorry about your mom. And your sister," Dean said quietly. Cas shoved his hands in his pockets. "That whole thing... it sounded horrible. And if you ever want to talk- I mean, if you ever- you can tell me about it. If you want to," Dean said, mentally cursing himself for sounding like an idiot. Cas finally looked at Dean, and Dean thought he saw relief in Cas' eyes. Dean smiled at him. The corner of Cas' mouth twitched, and Dean decided that was a victory. Cas looked back at the sidewalk and they continued walking in silence, but it was much less awkward now.
"You know-" Dean started to say something, but then he looked up and saw the road. There was a car parked on it, and someone was standing in front of it. Cas looked up at Dean. "Oh my god," Dean whispered. Cas gave him a questioning look, but Dean wasn't paying attention. Dean took a step back, his eyes still locked on that car and that person, before grabbing Cas' hand and taking off, running back towards his car. Cas stumbled after him, he was probably confused, Dean was probably scaring him, but he could explain later. They had to get out of there. Dean practically shoved Cas into the car and once he got behind the wheel, he tore out of the parking lot like the devil was chasing him. Cas grabbed the door, his knuckles turning white. Dean shouldn't be driving so recklessly with Cas in the car, some part of him knew that, but that was not the part in control of his body.
As soon as Dean turned off the car in his driveway, Cas threw open the door and practically fell out onto the ground, breathing heavily. Dean also got out, then fell to his knees and threw up, shaking. Dean didn't know how long they sat there, but it seemed like an eternity, each of them wrapped deeply in their past, remembering things that should never be remembered.