Request 3/4
I literally watched the musical on YouTube to be able to write this.... yeah it got a lot of sass.... but it got unexpectedly dark.... and I LOVED IT.
I would tell y'all that it's not a family friendly musical, but considering most of us probably watched snk at a younger age than we should, I doubt we care too much about that (hehehehehe I'm guilty of that).
I also noticed that each character in SnK literally has a trait that would perfectly fit a Heathers character so naturally I thought:
Hey! It all works out!
NOW LETS SCREW WITH THE SYSTEM AND MIX SOME ARCHETYPES UP
So that's how this mess happened.... enjoy.
Also COLOSSAL HEATHERS SPOILERS !!!!
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A few months before the musical
Just as Armin posted up the sign up sheet for the school musical, everyone rushed to the bulletin board to jot down their audition information. Armin stumbled out the crowd, barely hanging on to his life.
"I love musicals," Christa smiled. "It gives us the excuse to say and do the most inappropriate things and not get in trouble."
"Don't we already do that?" Ymir asked.
"Touché," Christa uttered.
"So what musical is it this year?" Erwin asked as he walked up to them.
"Heathers," Armin answered with a smile. "And I'm play manager so all y'all listening to me."
"WAIT, WE'RE DOING HEATHERS?" Petra exclaimed.
"What's that?" Erwin spoke up.
"Have you watched Mean Girls?" Petra asked.
"Of course," Erwin said. "It's a classic."
"Okay," Petra continued. "It's like Mean Girls, but gone terribly wrong and everyone's messed up."
"DAMMIT, JEAN!" Everyone turned to see Eren angrily shouting as usual. "I was gonna try out for Ram!"
"Hah!" Jean mocked. "Looks like you gotta beat me first!"
Eren growled. "Why you little-"
"Hey dipwads!" Armin shouted with his megaphone. "You know you can audition for multiple characters right?"
At that moment, everyone once again rushed to the board, nearly trampling Armin even though he wasn't standing near the board. "I need to borrow Bertolt for the next few weeks," he groaned.
- audition day -
Armin looked down at the sea of people standing outside the auditorium. He nodded his head in approval before raising the megaphone to his face. "Alright listen up!" He stated. "I'm going to call out your name and role of first choice. I then need you to come to the stage, rehearse the selected excerpt from your first choice character, then perform a short fragment of the character's solo. When you are finished, please quickly leave the auditorium. Any questions?"
"I have a question," Bertolt spoke up.
"Yes?" Armin said.
"Do I have to carry you all the time?" Bertolt asked as Armin sat on his shoulders.
"Yep you do!" Armin blasted into his ear with a megaphone. "First up is Mikasa for the role of Veronica Sawyer! Follow us inside! Everyone else, wait until you are called in!"
And with that, Mikasa, Armin, and Bertolt walked into the auditorium while everyone gathered at the doors, creating a fire hazard.
"Isn't Mikasa bad at acting?" Petra asked Sasha as they waited outside.
"She's bad at plain acting," Sasha said. "But for some reason, she's crazy good at acting when it's musical theater."
Just as she said that, they heard Mikasa's voice echo from the auditorium. Everyone gathered around the small windows to see that Mikasa was actually displaying emotion. She blew everyone away with her beautiful, soft, and angelic voice.
"Alright, next up, Annie for Veronica Sawyer!" Armin announced with his megaphone from inside.
Once Annie was ready, she began to perform her lines.
"I can't see anything!" Connie complained as he stood on his toes at the back of the crowd.
Christa, on the other hand, began to shove and push people away. In the process, she ended up sending Connie flying to the side. "Move, bitches. I can beat you all up in two seconds and less."
Once it got to the song, Annie nearly knocked everyone dead while belting out and hitting every single note to "Dead Girl Walking."
"ALRIGHT," Armin bellowed with the megaphone, interrupting the silence. "Next for the roll of J.D. Is Auruo."
"Oh no," Petra said with sheer horror in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Eren asked.
"Auruo can't sing or act to save his life," Isabel responded.
"Well, that means maybe I'll get the part," Marco smiled.
"Wait, you're trying out for J.D.?" Petra asked.
"Yep!" He responded.
"But wait," Eren stated. "Isn't J.D. a crazy psychotic teenager who likes to blow things up and kill people?"
"Yeah," Marco said as he chuckled. "I thought it would be a challenge for me since the character isn't really someone who I am all the time."
"Really?" Petra's eyes lit up. "I'm doing the same, too! I'm trying out for Heather Chandler!"
"You're trying out for a Heather?" Christa asked. "So am I!"
"Wait, you're trying out for the main Heather," Eren clarified.
"Yep!" Petra stated.
"The one that says, 'Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw!'" Eren said.
"Anything for theater," Petra said dramatically as she flipped her hair.
"Heather Duke is my back up," Mikasa said as she walked up to them. "Although it shouldn't be a problem, since I'm going to play Veronica."
"We aren't so sure about that yet," Annie said.
Mikasa immediately turned around and glared at Annie.
"Now ladies," Hanji said as she wrapped her arms around the both of them. "No need to get competitive. Besides, you shouldn't have your hopes that high..." She squeezed them a little tighter, clearly aggravating the two girls even more. "I'm the one who will be playing Veronica after all."
As a simultaneous response, Mikasa head butted Hanji, stunning her while Annie high kicked her in the face. As Hanji laid on the ground writhing in pain, the two girls continued to glare at each other. It got so intense that everyone could literally see sparks of electricity fly through the air.
"Hanji, stop that," Levi demanded.
Hanji, who now was holding a strange scientific device which ignited bolts of electricity, looked over at Levi. "For effect, Levi. For effect."
- one week later -
Armin quickly climbed onto Bertolt's shoulders before shouting through his megaphone. "Audition results are now posted-"
Armin had barely even gotten time to finish his announcements before everyone rushed over to the bulletin board as before. Unlike last time, Armin made it out unharmed.
Bertolt, on the other hand, was shaking as he held Armin on his shoulders, uttering something about war flashbacks and "The Dress Nazis."
"Dammit!" Jean shouted. "You got Ram?"
"Watchu gonna do about that, Kurt?" Eren mocked.
"Damn you, Jaeger," Jean growled.
"I can't believe I didn't get the role of J.D!" Auruo cried.
"What a shocker," Petra said under her breath.
"Hello fellow Heather," Christa greeted Petra.
"Shut up, Heather," Petra exclaimed in excitement.
"I know right, Heather?!" Christa smiled.
"Hey! I actually got the part!" Isabel shouted.
"Good for you," Farlan said. "You'll be an awesome Martha!"
"I can't believe you're the other gay dad," Erwin crossed his arms.
"I can't believe you're the other other gay dad," Niles said.
"Hey, I might not have gotten the lead, but I think I'd make an amazing Ms. Flemmings," Hanji boasted.
"You would, Hanji," Petra smiled. "Your personality matches the character perfectly."
"So we pretty much know who is playing who," Connie stated. "Except for-"
At that moment, Connie was violently tossed aside as Mikasa angrily marched up to Armin.
"Oh, come on!" Connie shouted.
"Armin, get down from there and talk to me like a man, you wimp!" Mikasa shouted.
"I feel a lot less threatened up here, thank you very much," Armin said with his megaphone.
"Explain," Mikasa demanded. "Explain why I'm stuck as Heather Duke while Annie gets to play the lead!"
Everyone turned to Annie who had on her normal resting bitch face.
"I've never seen her so happy before," Reiner whispered to Ymir.
"Wait, she's happy?" Ymir asked.
"It was really tough, but in the end, your stoic nature shone through a tad bit more than when Annie acted," Armin said to Mikasa.
Mikasa grunted as she angrily stomped away.
"You know what that means," Eren snickered. "Marco's getting freaky with Annie on stage."
"Now it makes sense why you're Ram," Jean said. "You both are about as mature as a middle schooler."
"Kurt isn't much better," Eren fought back.
"Well, at least I'm not an asshole," Jean shouted.
"I beg to differ, asshole," Eren retorted.
"This is going to be an interesting few months," Marco sighed.
Just then, Mikasa returned to the scene, but this time with a step ladder. She popped it open in front of Bertolt, then proceeded to climb it and slap Armin before stepping down, folding it, and putting it away where it belonged.
"Someone's not getting a second slice of pizza during the final rehearsal," Armin shouted with his megaphone.
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AN:
Basically I could write so much about this so I split it into two parts so it seems less daunting...