Request 2/4
Oh HECK YEAH!!!!!
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"Wait, are you messing with me right now?" Eren asked.
"No, I'm being completely serious Eren," Jean said with a straight face. "Pickles actually grow from plants."
"You're kidding."
"Eren, there are pickle farms out there!" Jean stated.
"Hey Sasha!" Eren called out. "Do pickles grow from plants?"
Sasha glanced back at Eren, genuinely confused and concerned, but then she took one look at Jean who was behind him, nodding and mouthing "say yes."
Sasha looked back at Eren. "Eren, what are you? Stupid? Of course they grow on plants! They have pickle farms, you know!"
"Huh, I never knew that," Eren said to himself.
Sasha then turned around and walked away with a smug smile on her face. "Too easy," she uttered to herself.
"Pst. Sasha," someone whispered.
Sasha glanced around her, trying to pinpoint the source of the noise.
"PST!" The voice whispered harshly.
Sasha heard it coming from behind her. She turned around to see a random, rather large potted plant. The base seemed coincidentally wide and tall enough to fit a small human.
"Sasha," it called.
"Plant?" Sasha responded.
Suddenly the dirt and plant uprooted itself enough to reveal Connie who was curled into a ball in the pot.
Sasha nearly jumped out of her skin. "CONNIE! WHAT THE FU-"
"SHHHH!" Connie hissed. "No one's supposed to know I'm here." He spoke with what sounded like a New York accent.
"Yeah I can see that," Sasha responded.
"You like it?" Connie said while reaching out an arm and stroking the side of the pot. "My boss had it designed specifically for me to carry out the business in a non-conspicuous manner."
"What's your business?" Sasha asked.
Connie looked all around him before reaching into the pit and pulling out an object from the darkness. "These," he said while holding something just far enough for the light to hit it.
Sasha had to squint to see its shape, but what she saw was enough for her to realize what it was. Her eyes widened. "Connie! That's a fidget spinner!" She whispered.
"No it's not," Connie smirked. "It's a deal."
"I thought those were banned ever since everyone paid Reiner 5 bucks each per fidget spinner shoved up his butt," Sasha said.
"They are banned," Connie continued in his awful New York accent. "But not in the fidget spinner black market."
"You're going to get into trouble-"
"You buying one, or not?" Connie cut her off.
Sasha looked around her. "Alright, how much?"
Connie smiled. "3 bucks."
"Dang, how are you selling them for that cheap?" Sasha said quietly as she reached in her backpack for money.
"Can't say," Connie said. "Boss's secret."
Sasha decided not to question it. She handed him the money and got a fidget spinner in return.
"Pleasure doin' business with ya," Connie said. He then sank back into his pot before slowly moving away. Turns out the plant also had a set of wheels.
"Yep," Sasha uttered to herself. "Nothing non-conspicuous about that."
- Meanwhile -
Ymir leaned against the wall next to the girl's bathroom in the math hallway. She checked her phone. Christa should be arriving any minute now to make the deal.
Just as she thought that, she saw a small blond walk towards her direction. She was wearing a black trench coat and dark shades. Christa leaned on the wall next to Ymir.
"Heh, you look sketchy," Ymir ridiculed.
"You're wearing the same thing," Christa stated.
"Well, you got me there."
"Enough talk," Christa chided. "Where are the goods?"
Without another word, Ymir looked away as she handed Christa a briefcase. Christa in turn handed her the money.
Ymir smirked. "You got a good deal-"
She paused as she realized that the money was just regular sheets of white paper. "What the-"
Christa held up a ketchup packet to Ymir. At that moment, Marco stepped out from the darkness to hold her down. Annie walked towards Christa who handed her the briefcase.
"How dare you," Ymir hissed.
Christa then squeezed the ketchup packet. Ymir was shot in the stomach as Marco let her go. She stumbled backwards, leaning on a nearby locker for support.
"Fidget spinners are stupid," Christa said. "Good thing we have another plan for these bad boys."
"You sly shit truffle," Ymir croaked before falling limp against the locker with her tongue sticking out.
"Good work," Armin said ominously as he appeared from the shadows as well. "I will be taking this," he said as Annie handed him the briefcase.
"Sir, who is our next target?" Annie asked.
Armin looked up at Annie. "The head of the Fidget Spinner Mafia of course."
"But we don't know how many people The Boss has working for him," Marco said. "We don't even know who the boss is. He could be dangerous..."
"It's no matter," Armin replied. "We have me, the smartest kid in the grade. Not to mention, we do have a secret weapon. Let's move out, Blond Squad! And Marco! Minus Reiner!"
"Why isn't that asshat a part of the Blond Squad anyways?" Christa asked.
"Let's just say we each already owe him $15," Annie stated.
- after planning an organized attack on the Fidget Spinner Mafia of SLHS -
Isabel yawned as she stood outside the door to the study hall classroom. "Man, this is such a boring job. I wish we got to do cooler things like Connie and Ymir."
"But their job is more dangerous," Farlan stated. "Don't you agree? Besides, The Boss trusts us more. So that's probably why we're on guard duty."
"Yeah, whatever," Isabel sighed.
Just then, they heard footsteps in the empty hallway. They saw a short, blonde boy walk towards them. He was wearing a black trench coat with his hands in his pockets.
"Well, well, well, Armin. And where do you think you're going?" Isabel asked as Armin approached them.
"I'm here for study hall," Armin replied. "I'm in this class."
"No you're not," Farlan said. "I'm in this class, so I would know. Background fight guys who act like mini-bosses, get them!"
Just as Farland said that, Erd, Gunther, Auruo, Mike, Nanaba, and Erwin appeared and cornered him.
"Give up now, kid," Erd threatened. "And join us."
"No!" Armin stated. "I will take on you all!"
"With what?" Erwin scoffed. "We have an army!"
"We have Mikasa!" Armin shouted. And within .2 seconds, everyone was immobilized by the crazy Ackerwoman and her ketchup packet skills.
"Ugh. I have to do everything myself!" Cried out a deep, mechanical voice from within the room.
"Blond Squad plus Marco minus Reiner plus Mikasa, prepare yourselves," Armin said as the gang gathered around him. "The Fidget Spinner Mafia Boss is about to rear its head."
The door opened as fog poured into the hallway. As the squad peered into the smoke, they could see the silhouette of someone wearing a trench coat stand ominously at the entrance. The person took steps outside the door, and everyone, even those who worked for the boss gasped simultaneously.
"PETRA?"
"Wait a minute," Christa called out. "How did you guys not know who you worked for?"
"We were just given an anonymous invitation and a free fidget spinner," Isabel explained. "It was enough to sell us." She promptly returned to being "dead."
"Enough chit-chat," Petra demanded. "Why are you here?"
"We have your most valuable fidget spinners in this briefcase," Armin said as he held up the object.
"Prove it," Petra stated.
Armin flipped open the briefcase to reveal the fidget spinners inside.
Petra gasped. "The limited-edition glow-in-the-dark fidget spinners which spew out glitter as you spin it while playing 'My Heart Will Go On!' How dare!"
"I will hand these back to you on two conditions," Armin stated.
"Enlighten me," Petra crossed her arms.
"One," Armin began while slamming shut the briefcase. "You stop illegally selling fidget spinners because they're a stupid excuse to have a trinket in class because most people who use them don't actually need them to focus. They just want to be a part of some trend. Unless you're Reiner. Then it's your official source of income during high school.
Second. We demand a field trip to somewhere outside the country! Only with seniors and juniors though," Armin hesitated. He looked away and began to twiddle his thumbs. "We just want to spend some more time with you guys before you leave."
At that moment, all the seniors "aw"ed. Even a sniffle was heard.
Petra sighed. "I'm the student body president. Do you really think that I would illegally sell these things? That would get me fired! I'm selling fidget spinners as a method, approved by the principal, to fund a field trip to Spain this summer. And yes, it is with juniors and seniors."
"Really?" Armin' eyes lit up.
"Yep!" Petra smiled.
Armin ran over to hug Petra with a giant smile. "I'm glad!"
"Now..." Petra said as she pat his head. "I would like the case back." Armin let go of Petra, falling backwards. He lightly touched the ketchup stain on his chest before collapsing to the ground. Petra snatched the briefcase from his limp body and returned into the room.
"Well," Annie spoke up. "That took an unexpected turn."
"Where?" Marco asked.
"Just about everywhere," Annie replied.
Just then, whistling was heard as Eren approached the scene. "Whoa! A fidget spinner!" He exclaimed as he picked up one from Erwin's "dead" body. "I thought these were banned ever since we paid Reiner to shove some up his ass!"
"Hey!" Eren called out to Hanji and Levi. "Look what I have!"
"Do you know if you turn the fidget spinner to the side while it's spinning, you can feel the change in centripetal force?" Hanji asked.
Eren tried it out himself, and it looked as if he was just mind blown so hard that there was now a black hole in his brain. "Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiit....." he whispered.
"Too easy," Hanji uttered to Levi.
"First, I learned pickles grow on plants, now this!" Eren said. "Man, I'm gaining knowledge today!"
"Should we tell him the truth about pickles?" Levi asked Hanji quietly.
"No," Hanji replied. "Let's not crush dreams, Levi."
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AN:
Holy cheese that was a long chapter..... anyways now you know what request 4/4 is..... but what about 3/4 ??????
Also AOT second season has been killing me. Even though I read the manga and I know what's going to happen I'm like WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN NOW??!?!!?