Kairi woke up slowly, her eyes fluttering against the light coming in from the Venetian blinds of her small window. The light was at an angle that made her realize it was extremely early in the morning, just a little while after sunrise. She was blissfully naked, sleeping peacefully for the first time in months. Her body had that sort of stiff, luxurious feeling after receiving a quality orgasm. She turned her head, looking towards the other side of the bed and found it empty, except of course for her fluffy dog-beast lying on his back, his head twisted to look at her with his large doggy smile.
"Oh god, please, please, please don't tell me I imagined last night and I had an orgasm from my dog..." She shifted again, glancing around her bedroom, "Oh god, please don't let me be that pathetic." She whimpered and pushed herself up onto her knees and looked around. Her dress was still on the floor in the corner. Her undergarments were strewn across the opposite side of the bed. She reached for her phone but saw no notifications.
She stood slowly, Appa leaping off of the bed and stretching lazily at her side, and padded over to her garments and looked at them closely. There was obvious evidence of her excitement and a ripped seam that she seemed to remember a particular Consulting Detective making in haste. She dropped them on the floor and walked over to her closet and pulled out a maxi dress with a built in bra and slid it over her body, forgoing underwear for the moment. She walked into her front room and looked around the entire expanse. The kitchen was empty, all the chairs were uninhabited, and the fireplace still held some small embers from the raging fire the night before. Her frown deepened and she went back to look in her bathroom and found it empty. She walked further in and stared at herself in the mirror.
Her hair was a mess, scraggily and knotty from sleep and other activities. Her frown was deep and painful so she tried desperately not to focus on it, and her eyes dropped to her mouth, small remnants of the red stain were there and she brought her fingers up slowly to trace the line of her full lips. They were still slightly swollen and felt mildly bruised when she pressed them. Her stomach started to churn pleasantly when her eyes traveled to her neck and shoulders which were exposed by the thin straps of her dress. She gasped slightly, seeing the pale marks left on her skin in small bruised ovals and the shape of teeth along her shoulder. She dropped her face into her hands, the realization that last night was, in fact, real.
Giving him the benefit of the doubt, Kairi took in a shuddering breath and exhaled, "Sherlock?" She said a bit pathetically, hoping that the tears threatening to form would stay away.
There was silence. Complete and utter silence.
She took a deep breath and walked back into her bedroom, pushing down the nausea she felt as she stared at her disheveled bed clothes. She couldn't look at it. She couldn't touch it, not without remembering the night she shared with Sherlock and the unending pain she felt, realizing that he had left her. Her face was back in her hands as her anxiety grew to alarming levels and her chest constricted making it hard to breathe.
She shook her head and tried to dispel her negativity. Sherlock wasn't completely heartless. She knew that he cared for her, even if just a little bit, he wouldn't have been in her home last night if he didn't care. He wouldn't have reacted so drastically to her date with Lestrade if he didn't care at all. She took a calming breath and tried to refocus.
A case! That was it! Sherlock must have been called to a case early in the morning. He must not have wanted to wake her, so he had left as quickly and as quietly as possible. She dropped her hands and noticed something on the floor by her hastily discarded dress. She walked over, squinting her eyes and trying to see just what it was.
It wasn't until she knelt down and picked it up that she realized it was a round black button. It belonged to Sherlock's suit, and she realized with a blush, that it must have fallen off the night before during their more aggressive moments. She stood slowly and grabbed a pair of her fleece lined boots and slipped them on. She pulled out one of her thicker hoodies and wrapped it around herself, placing the button in her pocket and making her way to her door. She paused at the mirror by her entrance and grimaced at the sight of her reflection. She zipped the hoodie all the way up to her neck to hide the love bites and ran her fingers through her scraggily hair to tame it as best she could. She chuckled at her make up and decided to run into her bathroom to quickly swipe away all left over traces with a moist towelette. She put her hair in a loose braid at the base of her neck since it refused to behave. Nodding at herself in the mirror she decided it was good enough since, hopefully, no one would see her.
She left Appa inside her flat, intending to walk up to 221B to leave the button on Sherlock's bedside table. She was sure that when he saw it upon returning he would know exactly who put it there and where it was from. A smile crept onto her face and she bit her lip, chuckling at the idea of Sherlock Holmes blushing because of a simple button. She opened her door and didn't bother locking it or grabbing her keys as she would return quickly after depositing the item.
She climbed the stairs, two at a time and walked quickly over to 221B with a smile on her face. She opened the door, humming to herself and was utterly shocked to see John sitting at his desk typing away at his computer.
He turned and smiled at her widely, "Morning Kairi." He checked his watch, "What's going on, is everything okay?"
Kairi's smiled disappeared instantly, "I -," She exhaled raggedly, "I thought you had a case." She practically whispered.
John, looking concerned, replied, "No. Not that I know of." He frowned a bit and looked to the kitchen, "Sherlock do we have a case or something involving Kairi?"
Kairi's chest constricted and she found it hard to breathe. Her head started to swim when she heard Sherlock behind her.
"No, nothing that concerns her at all." Sherlock replied tonelessly.
John was smiling, "Sorry Kairi, nothing...new." He finished as he watched Kairi's face seem to twist in agony.
Kairi turned and saw Sherlock in the kitchen, sipping at coffee and his eyes glued to a microscope. He was wearing a charcoal suit with a dark purple shirt, perfectly showered, composed, and stonily cold. Her stomach seemed to empty instantly, while also feeling like a five ton weight was pressing against her chest. She tried to hold back the sob pressing against her lips as she walked over to him slowly. He made no movement indicating that he noticed her presence or proximity. She gripped at the front of her sweatshirt and cleared her throat.
"Where were you?" She whispered, glancing over her shoulder to see if John was paying attention.
He made no indication that he intended to answer, or even that he heard her.
Kairi took another step closer and tried again, a little louder, "Where did you go?"
This time Sherlock dropped his head, sighing in extreme annoyance and Kairi bit her lip painfully as he stood to look at her. His eyes were cold and distant, nothing like she had seen since she had known him. His face was completely expressionless and disinterested in her presence. He adjusted his suit, taking his time in silence as she watched him, her body tense and shaking slightly, her eyes blinking slowly and unbelieving.
Who was this man?
"I returned home." He stated simply.
The pain in that simple statement caused Kairi to flinch. It wasn't the words that mattered, it was the tone of his voice. He was completely and utterly bored. There was no inflection, no feeling what so ever and it made Kairi's heart freeze. She took another breath, trying to believe that he was putting on an act for John. "You couldn't have just let me know?"
He rose an eyebrow and looked at her with an air of indignant disbelief, "Why would it concern you?"
Kairi shut her eyes against those words, trying to breathe deep, "Because you spent the night with me." She stated and looked up at him slowly, painfully, "Because of what we did last night." She finished in a whisper.
He smirked and Kairi felt nauseous at the sight. It was a cold, pedantic smirk. His eyes looked pitying and slightly disgusted. Whoever this man was, he was not her friend, and the man she... cared for, Sherlock Holmes.
"I mean, you could have just at least told me you'd be leaving early. I was concerned." She murmured nervously and dropped her eyes to stare at the toes of her boots.
He let out a bark of laughter and then seemed to contain himself, rolling his shoulders as he looked at her as if she were a child, "I've said this already, it doesn't concern you anymore." His voice was laced with disdain.
Kairi shook her head again, trying to wake herself up from this nightmare, "I'm just saying I was worried about you. You're my-," She halted, not sure what the word was for what they did, "Friend."
She heard John shuffle from the other room, most likely coming closer, "Everything all right?"
Sherlock ignored John, dropped his head again, his hands placing themselves behind his back rigidly. He lifted his gaze to meet hers, almost seeming like he was relieved and letting out a sigh, "And you were a distraction."
Kairi's breath hitched as she stared at the floor, feeling like an idiot. She couldn't understand what he just said. She couldn't understand how he could say that.
"One that has, now, been removed." His voice was deep, serious, and calculated.
Kairi gripped at her chest. "Excuse me?" She whispered, looking back up at him, "What's wrong with you?" She gasped, her voice shaking.
Sherlock took a step back and started looking at his microscope again, "You were a distraction Ms. Aria one that plagued me for the recent months." His adept fingers played over the microscope, fine tuning it to specifications for the next slide, "After last night's experiment, I no longer am distracted as I once was."
"What's going on?" John tried to interrupt again, not quite hearing what was being said, but he could see just how defeated Kairi looked. Her shoulders were hunched and tense. With every word Sherlock said, her body reacted as if she were being beaten. She'd twitch and curl into herself further, making herself seem smaller the longer Sherlock spoke.
"Last night was an...experiment?" Kairi asked, shocked. Her heart had finally bottomed out.
Sherlock sighed again, further annoyed it seemed, "Yes, an experiment. My mind has been especially foggy since you came into my life." He looked up at her with his dead eyes, "I found it was easier to process information while around you. Because of that I chose to be in your company more and more." He sounded so boredand Kairi's stomach wouldn't stop turning, "I realized it was because I found you attractive, Ms. Aria. I rarely meet someone who is enticing enough to actually distract me from my work. When this does happen, as I told you last night, I relieve excess tension, but in this case, I was unsuccessful. When I had this realization, I knew that I must neutralize the distraction so I may continue my work."
Kairi stared at him in disbelief. There was a high-pitched, crazy laughter echoing in 221B Baker Street and it took Kairi approximately thirty seconds to realize it was coming from her own mouth.
"Hullo? Everything all right? I heard Appa barking I was wondering if you'd seen -," Ms. Hudson came through the open front door after knocking and turned the corner to the kitchen, "Oh." She glanced at Kairi and Sherlock and then to John who was just as clueless as she was.
Kairi took a deep breath, exhaling shakily as tears began to form in her eyes, "Neutralize the distraction?!" It came out shrill and unstable. "That's what you're calling what you did to me last night? Neutralization?" Her throat tightened on the last word, her body felt absolutely cold.
"Yes, that's correct." He said in a manner that indicated she was an idiot.
Kairi started laughing hysterically again, tears brimming in her eyes. She dropped her face in her hands feeling absolutely insane. She looked up at him again, his eyes seemed to narrow as he looked at her without emotion. "You fucking liar!" She shouted and threw herself at him.
"SHERLOCK!" John bellowed at him as Kairi lunged.
Sherlock grabbed her forcefully and turned her, pushing her up against the fridge and holding her there tightly, but distantly. Her entire body wracked with her sobs, her arms lashing out and trying to hit him, but he held her still, unmoving, uncaring, just staring at her with his dark, empty eyes as she cried and cried and cried. Her sweatshirt had un zipped slightly and her shoulder was bare and cold, the grip of Sherlock's hand on her arm wasn't tight, but it still hurt. In fact, it seemed to burn.
She felt the weight of Sherlock being removed and she continued to cry as her body suddenly felt like it weighed five times its original amount. Her legs slowly buckled and she slid down the fridge, barely registering that John had grabbed Sherlock and shoved him into the cabinets on the other side of the room.
"What is wrong with you!?" John yelled at him and then knelt down to help Kairi up.
She took a deep shuddering breath and wiped at her face, shrugging off John's attempts to help her stand. With the aid of the fridge she stood herself up, trying to calm her breaths, trying to keep her diaphragm from hiccuping after her sobs. She kept her head down and slapped at John's hands as he tried to steady her.
That was when John saw the state of her neck and he looked at Sherlock who had the audacity to look ashamed and pained for only a second. "What -," John began.
Kairi zipped up her jacket and pushed past John. He called out to her, but she didn't listen. She couldn't stop. Her entire body burned with shame and embarrassment. Mrs. Hudson had the grace to get out of her way even though Kairi didn't spare her a glance as she walked out of 221B. She stomped down the stairs as quickly as she could, gaining momentum and heading for the exit. She practically threw the door open and stumbled onto the street and chose a random direction and began walking as quickly and as steadily as her wobbily legs would allow.
She kept crying, trying to hold in her sobs to keep random strangers from staring at her. She didn't need any more attention. She didn't want anyone to see her. She wanted to disappear. She began shivering uncontrollably and it was only then that she realized she was walking in a torrential downpour in nothing but a flimsy maxi dress and a relatively thin hoodie. She pulled up said hood and wrapped her arms around herself, shivering and crying, as she walked down a thankfully empty street.
She absolutely could not believe what had just happened. Her chest felt like it was caving in. The weight of her shame and self-hatred was absolutely debilitating as she wandered aimlessly in the rain. Sherlock Holmes, the brilliant Consulting Detective was a manipulative monster. The friendship she had been cultivating and treasuring for the past few months was a complete lie and it broke her heart. As much as she wanted to hate him, to feed him to ravenous wolves, the deepest, darkest, and most incapacitated piece of her heart knew that she loved him. She loved him desperately and it was tearing at the fabric of her reality.
After so much time hurting and alone, she finally found a place where she felt happy and at peace. What Sherlock had done, how he had inserted himself into her life and tore it apart from the inside, was something that Kairi did not think she could tolerate. He had smoked her cigarettes. He had instigated ridiculous conversations. He had asked her opinion on important matters. He looked at her and he smiled, what she thought were genuine smiles. He put his hands on her to comfort her, to console her. He had spoke of trust when he never even had the slightest idea of the word's meaning. She had let herself fall in love with this impossible man and now she was suffering for it. Her entire life had been spent holding people at a distance, fearing relationships, and hiding away from the world until she met Sherlock Holmes. He had pulled her into this mystical life with ideas of friendship and companionship and adventure. He had let her care about Molly and John and Lestrade. Sherlock Holmes had planted himself inside her mind and inside her heart like a virus. He was eating away at her from the inside, stripping her of her sanity.
The worst part of the pain wasn't that Sherlock didn't return her affections. She knew he wouldn't and its why she had buried it so desperately deep within her mind. It wasn't that Sherlock acted like her friend and lead her to believe that he cared for her. It honestly didn't even hurt to be thought of as just some object to slake his sexual appetite, even barely human monsters have needs.
What hurt was the way he spoke to her. What hurt was how he looked at her like he could see right through her.
Sherlock Holmes had made her feel like she was nothing, like she was invisible, that she didn't deserve to matter.
Kairi was choking back sobs as she walked through the streets becoming more and more soaked with each shattering breath. She could barely feel her extremities and her steps seemed to be stunted, jagged. Every part of her hurt and shook with debilitating vigor. Her teeth were chattering and she could barely cry anymore, she honestly couldn't tell what were her tears and what was the rain.
Not so long ago she could have sworn she saw the sun rise.
"What in the hell was that?!" John shouted as Kairi disappeared. He glared at Sherlock who looked like an empty shell. He was leaning against the cabinets behind him looking lifeless and limp, as if someone had removed his skeleton.
Sherlock was staring at the spot Kairi had been standing, his mouth a thin line, his eyes wide and disbelieving.
"Sherlock!" John shouted and Sherlock flinched. John couldn't remember the last time, if ever, he had seen Sherlock flinch. His eyes looked up at John, wet around the rims and only slightly reddened. "What the fuck is happening? What did you do to her!?" He grabbed Sherlock and yelled.
John was seeing red, the man, his absolute hero, had just intentionally destroyed an undeserving human being, his defenseless friend. Kairi had done nothing but love this stupid and soulless idiot. In that moment, he had hatred for Sherlock Holmes for the first time in his life. He shoved Sherlock back into the cabinets and Sherlock rebounded against the pliant wood and they began to tussle.
Mrs. Hudson let out a cry of dismay watching as John laid into Sherlock and he barely resisted.
John's fists connected with Sherlock, first in the gut which doubled him over. John was tossing Sherlock around like he was a rag doll, despite the fact that Sherlock was much larger than him. John grabbed Sherlock by the lapels and stood him up and laid a punch into his face and Sherlock fell back into the cabinets again with a split cheek. One more punch connected to Sherlock's nose and let loose a sickening crack that seemed to reverberate though 221B.
"Oh stop it!" Someone screamed and John turned to see Molly looking frantic and Mrs. Hudson standing behind her with tears streaming down her face and her hands covering her mouth in sadness. Sherlock went limp against the cabinets and slid down to the ground.
"What are you doing?" Molly ran over to the empty Sherlock and pressed a towel to his bleeding and bruised face. "John, what's gotten into you?"
John shook his head, "I'm sorry." He said specifically to Molly and Mrs. Hudson, staring at Sherlock with utmost disgust. "You-," John started, swallowing the rage and the sadness welling up in his chest, "You ask him." He stated vehemently and turned on his heel, weaving around Mrs. Hudson with great speed, grabbing his jacket and running out of the door.
Molly watched in absolute shock as John left without another word. She had never, in her entire time of knowing John and Sherlock, see them fight in this manner. They had tussled before, usually out of frustration, but she had never seen John in such a rage and Sherlock in such a pitiful, emotional state.
She looked at Sherlock and pulled away the towel, his nose jutting at an obvious broken angle with blood oozing from it and a split and swelling cheek. His eyes looked sadder than she had ever seen. "What have you done?"
Sherlock spat blood to the side, his eyes looked tired, he looked defeated, "I'm keeping my promise." He dropped his head in absolute shame.
John was running through the streets of London, through the horrible London rain. He was absolutely freezing, huffing the frozen air painfully as he sprinted around trying to see where Kairi would have gone. She was wearing half what he was and he knew he had to find her immediately before she started going into shock.
He was absolutely fuming as he headed towards Regents Park. She had not been gone long and he knew that she loved it there, it was the most logical of illogical scenarios that played in his head. She had taken Molly and John on a picnic near a fountain once. She loved the damn fountain because it made her laugh. It was a grotesque sort of beautiful with a large merman blowing water out of a conch shell and straight into the air. He had sort of mermaids at his feet and fish surrounding him also spewing water. She just found it hilarious and couldn't explain why. Even Sherlock had showed up for a few minutes to berate their boring levels of humanity and Kairi convinced him to have a sandwich. The fucking idiot.
His eyes were searching the expanse of the streets wildly, hoping against all hopes that he could reign in the havoc his mindless friend had just caused.
He knew - every single part of him knew - that Kairi and Sherlock shared a special relationship. He had spent many nights talking with Sherlock in stunted and vague terms about the girl who came into his life and shifted it so completely. He knew that Sherlock, in his own underdeveloped way, cared for Kairi deeply and it scared the piss out of him. He had watched the detective's barely controlled rage after Kairi had been attacked and Sherlock tasked the police with finding the perpetrator before he could ensure the attacker would never see a courtroom. John had gone to bed many nights, bidding Sherlock a decent evening as he stared and stared at the files he had collected about Kairi's life. He had woken up hours and hours later to see Sherlock still studying the files in order to find a connection between the attacks and her past. John had been there while Kairi had been living in their home. Sherlock would make coffee every morning, just enough for two - and John didn't enjoy drinking coffee so he knew it wasn't for him. During those weeks there was food in the fridge and an alarmingly low amount of body parts strewn about their home. He had seen Sherlock respond to Kairi's nightmares as best as he could at the time. Many nights John had walked over to find the idiotic detective sitting on the ground, his head leaning against the wall and sleeping right outside his own door where the girl inhabited his bed. John had seen the way Sherlock had looked at Kairi every time she wasn't paying attention. The detective's eyes would rove her face, not for any reason other than just to take it all in. He had seen Sherlock's breath hitch when Kairi would walk into a room or the way his mouth would twitch with a withheld smile when he would make her laugh. He had watched his friend morph into this person who would move silently across the room just to position himself closest to Kairi. He had seen the way Sherlock hid his chuckles at her horribly intolerable puns. John even had been privy to watching Sherlock while they were at the mental institution's security room, watching the live video of Kairi talking to her mother. John had seen just how fast Sherlock had run from the security office when her mother started attacking her, so he could get to Kairi in time to catch her as she fell out of the room and into his arms. John had seen the shame on Sherlock's face after Kairi had left just a few moments ago. It was soul crushing shame that made John despise him. Sherlock was just about as in love as Sherlock could get.
As John approached Regent's park at breakneck speed, sweat and rain falling into his eyes and clouding his vision as he took the familiar path to find the fountain. He circled it, halfway around, and spotted Kairi.
He let out a relieved cry that she didn't hear and he ran over to her. She was sitting in the grass, her knees up against her chest and her arms wrapped around them, her hooded head resting against her knee caps. Her body was shaking from sobs and the cold.
John was breathing hard as he stood in front of her. He had to shout over the sound of the rain and the fountain, "You know I punched him!"
Kairi looked up and John's heart just about broke. She was shivering, her eyes were red, and she looked so very tired.
"I broke his nose!" He shouted again and he was absolutely overjoyed to see her lip twitch gently.
"I think he likes it when people do that." She shouted back and he saw a violent tremor take over her body. "You should have slept with him, evidently that's the only proper way to get him to hate you!"
John's eyes widened at her brashness, "So you did? You and he..?" He let that trail off as he walked over to her and sat next to her in the mud, letting himself get soaked right along with her.
Kairi slightly shrugged, "Sort of. Not all the way." She glanced at John, "He's still a stupid virgin, technically."
John tried not to chuckle at her, "You know he's really the dumbest genius I've ever met."
Kairi shook her head, "He has no heart, John. I can't believe I-," She put her face in her arms again and her shoulders began shaking.
John reached over and wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him. She leaned into him and let herself cry some more. John comforted her as much as he possibly could. He was almost as hopeless as Sherlock in these matters, but not entirely, "I'm not going to pretend that what he did wasn't the worst possible thing to do, because it pretty much was. Its why I broke his nose. Pretty badly too." He glanced at Kairi and he saw her smile gently and he started laughing. "I may have nicked a rib as well." He felt her laugh slightly. "He does care for you."
Kairi's smile disappeared and she shook her head, "Why should I believe that? What could possibly make me think that he is not the worst and most detestable human being I've ever met?"
John bit his lip and tilted his head up into the rain for a moment and Kairi watched him thinking. She was so cold and so empty, there was nothing that could make her believe in Sherlock Holmes. Nothing.
John dropped his head and wiped a hand down his face, "I've never told you about when Sherlock faked his death."
Kairi shook her head and looked at him and watched as John's face seemed to crumble. She recognized the shortness of breath, the kind of breathing that hits you when your chest begins to constrict and panic settles in deep.
"He did it for us, you know." He looked at her sadly. "For me and Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. Molly helped him do it." He paused and looked sad, "I can't even tell you how. I still don't get it entirely. I saw him, on the roof-," He paused as his voice caught on the words and the emotions, "He called me while he was on the ledge. Told me everything was a lie." He shook his head, "He told me the stories of Richard Brook were all true and that he was a fraud and it broke my heart." John seemed to shudder and Kairi reached out to hold his hand. He took it in his hand and squeezed, "I watched him fall. I saw him flailing his fucking arms in the air as he dropped from the top of Bart's." He let out a choked sob, "I ran for him, you know. As if I could do a damn thing, I ran to him, screaming after him as he fell." He paused and looked at Kairi, "It was real. Him falling." Kairi stared at him confused. "I heard him hit the pavement and I saw his lifeless eyes. Clear as fucking day!" He almost laughed at that and nodded to Kairi, "That damn madman would rather kill himself than let harm come to one of us."
Kairi began shaking her head, "That's not me, though. He loves you all John, you're his family."
John looked up into the rain again, no signs of letting up. He continued, "That's what you're not seeing Kairi! He would deny himself life in order to make sure that the people he cared about were safe."
Kairi glared at him, "I still don't understand! I don't matter to him!" She shouted vehemently over the rain.
John shook his head, "He is so damn afraid! He is terrified of what happens when people come into his life. Its why he keeps people distant. He knows he will always have a target on his back. Always! He would rather risk being alone for the rest of his life, he would risk breaking your heart, he would risk you hating him for the rest of your natural life and more. He would risk breaking his own heart and losing you forever if it only meant that you would be safe from him."
Kairi looked at John and saw the absolute, pure truth in his eyes. She wanted to shake her head, she wanted to run away and leave Sherlock Holmes behind. She wanted nothing more than to stick weights in her pockets and walk into the ocean and let the sea have her. She wanted to hate Sherlock Holmes, but she couldn't.
She shook her head, "How do you do it? How can you forgive him for that?"
John almost chuckled, "He doesn't know any better. He's a fucking idiot."
Kairi let out a huge guffaw at that and her and John shared a hefty amount of laughter for quite a few minutes. There they were sitting in front of Triton's fountain, in a monsoon, laughing hysterically to dissipate their sadness and their pain caused by a man who loved others so much he was willing to literally destroy himself to keep them safe. After a few minutes the cold started to penetrate and they both began shivering again.
"I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'm going to tell you what to do." John smiled and Kairi nudged him as they shivered together, "We need to go back to Baker Street and you need to forgive him. You need to forgive him for being scared and being an idiot. The last time he openly loved someone, they were used as bargaining chips." He pointed at himself. "The man is scared Kairi and he loves you in the dysfunctional way Sherlock Holmes does. I'm not going to tell you it will be easy, loving him back. Its impossible most days. He's infuriating and dramatic and selfish and ignorant. But in the end he is also the most brilliant, the most caring, and the most human man I have ever met." John choked back a sob at that.
Kairi blinked past her tears and threw herself at him, hugging him tightly in the pouring rain.
She wasn't so sure that she could forgive Sherlock Holmes. She didn't think she had the courage of John Watson. What would be better, what would be easier, is if she simply walked away before anyone else got hurt.
Sherlock was still sitting on the floor of the kitchen, his face was throbbing and still bleeding rather profusely. Molly was holding a towel to his face rather begrudgingly. He didn't know how long they had been sitting there. He wasn't paying attention to the time and his internal clock had ceased ticking the moment he woke up this morning and decided to leave Kairi in her bed.
He hadn't moved since John had left and he really had no desire to do so. He felt emptier than he had felt in a long time. The dark hole that resided in his chest that he filled with knowledge and adventure and uncertainty was widening to the point where he didn't think he would be able to control it. The last time he had felt this empty, he woke up in a gutter with a needle in his arm with Lestrade standing over him.
Breathing hurt. Blinking hurt. Everything hurt.
For the first time in his life, his mind was completely and utterly quiet and he didn't care.
He almost laughed at that, if it didn't pain him.
For the first time ever, he didn't care if he had a case, he didn't care about solving a problem. He didn't care at all, and he absolutely meant it this time.
He glanced at Molly who was staring at him and trying to figure out what had happened. He was thankful she hadn't asked any more questions and just concerned herself with staunching his bleeding face. Head wounds always bled more profusely than others, though most of the time they were incredibly superficial.
His eyes found Mrs. Hudson, still staring at him, holding her mouth, as tears dripped down her cheeks, and shaking her head. She looked ashamed of him.
He closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath. He would turn it all off. He would pull back into himself. He had resigned to shutting down that part of himself completely and never thinking of her ever again. He had the ability to delete things from his hard drive, though it was usually pointless information. This would take a little extra work. He closed his eyes and wanted to sleep very badly.
He would do it. He would protect her. He would forget her.
"All right then?" A voice came from the doorway and broke Sherlock from his reverie.
"What's happening? Why are you so wet? You're covered in mud!" Molly said, "Is everything all right? He only said he was keeping his promise." She continued, "He hasn't said another thing since."
John shook his head, smiling ruefully, "I knew it, you clot." He grumbled and walked over to Sherlock who was sitting on the floor against the cabinet John had knocked him into. He knelt down and nodded to Molly, "Let me see it." Molly gingerly removed the towel from Sherlock's nose and John seemed to assess it quickly, "S'not so bad." He nodded at Sherlock who didn't react. John placed his hands on the side of Sherlock's face, his thumbs slowly went to either side of the break on Sherlock's nose. "On three." John muttered Sherlock realized what was happening far too late. His eyes widened, "1..."
CRACK!
A blinding white light flashed in front of Sherlock's eyes as John snapped his nose back into place and he let out an inhuman howl that only exacerbated the possible fracture in his rib.
"You said three!" He growled at Watson who smiled very cheekily.
"That's for Kairi, you tit." John grumbled.
Sherlock suddenly felt a slap on his shoulder that shocked him and he looked at Molly who was fuming.
"What did you do to her that made John this mad at you!?" She growled and went to slap his shoulder again.
"He's trying to protect me." Kairi said solemnly from the kitchen doorway.
Sherlock's breath froze in his chest as he took in every inch of her. She was sopping wet. Her hair was plastered against her, the braid it was in not so long ago, had come undone, and the soaked tendrils now curled over her shoulders and stuck to her face and neck. Her clothes clung to her skin in a desperate fashion. She was splattered with a large amount of mud, the bottom half of her skirt was practically caked with it. She was shivering uncontrollably, the sweatshirt soaking and drooping off of her body because of the new weight of it, exposing her shoulder and a breast. The painfully erect nipple was threatening the thin fabric of her dress and Sherlock realized that she was not wearing anything underneath it. He inhaled tightly, causing him a large amount of pain and then calmed himself as she stared at him with pity in her eyes.
Kairi stared at him as he struggled. She shook her head as she walked over to him and knelt down to be face to face with him. She saw the slightest bit of panic and sadness in his eyes and she dropped her head and sighed.
John reached over and tapped Molly, signaling her to leave them alone and he took her hand and guided her down to Mrs. Hudson's home for tea.
Kairi looked up at Sherlock just in time to see a single tear fall down his cheek and she smiled at him sadly and wiped it away with her thumb. He seemed to lean into her touch, just barely.
"You know," She sighed and grabbed his hand, astonishing him completely, and helped him stand, "Next time, if you want to tell me you have feelings for me, you could just get me breakfast in bed." She shifted and grunted under his weight, "Or a nice card."
Sherlock had no response. He just kept staring at her.
She chuckled lightly, "You hurt me a lot Sherlock, saying those things." She sighed and looked back up to him as she guided them to his bathroom. "But John explained. He helped me understand you a little more."
She sat him on the toilet and closed the door, he was still silent, just watching as she walked over to his medicine cabinet and pulled out some pain killers and handed them to him. With a grimace he swallowed the pills dry and then watched her as she walked over to the shower and turned it on. The cold day made it so the bathroom almost instantly starting filling up with steam.
She approached him again and signaled for him to stand. He did so without a word and she began to unbutton his shirt. He tried to stop her but she shot him a menacing glare and so he dropped his hands and let her continue. She slid the shirt off and over his shoulders, pulling it gently down his arms and tossing it aside. She went for his pant's buckle and began the process of unzipping them. Sherlock felt guilty for being aroused at the sight of her hands on the waist band of his pants and so he closed his eyes tightly, trying to quash any residual feelings.
Kairi gave a knowing smirk as she undid his pants and began sliding them down his hips noticing the beginnings of his erection. She tried not to laugh at him, knowing that it would make him horribly embarrassed and so she just sighed and got him to step out of the pants. She stood and tossed them by his shirt. He opened his eyes and looked at her with a slightly sad expression, which she assumed meant that Sherlock, was indeed, quite distraught.
He reached out to her in that moment and she let him, even though he hesitated. She nodded at him to continue and so his hands unzipped her sweater and let it plop to the floor with a splash. She was shivering again and she looked up to see Sherlock look at her, concerned and sad. His hands found the tiny straps of her dress and he peeled it from her shivering, bumpy skin and helped her step out of it.
They stood in front of each other, completely naked. The comparison of last night to this morning was brutal and savage and they both felt it: the fear.
Kairi gave him a sad smile, "Come on." She reached out her hand and he took it and they got into the almost violently hot spray.
It stung as Kairi gingerly cleaned Sherlock's cuts and bruises with a washcloth, ridding him of blood and broken skin. Sherlock just stared at her the entire time she did so, watching as she stopped shivering and color returned to her features.
After she finished cleaning his face, she reached down to get some shampoo to wash her hair but Sherlock's hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. They were silent for a few moments and just stared at each other searching each other's eyes desperately for some sort of easy answer.
Finally, Sherlock spoke, "I'm so sorry."
Kairi dropped her shaking head, gave him a begrudging smile and chuckled lightly. She looked back up at him and nodded gently, "I know."
With that Sherlock slowly pulled her into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his waist. They just held each other in the steamy spray until the water lost its warmth to their embrace.