The morning after her "family" barbecue, Kairi woke up with Appa scratching at her door. She groaned and tried to throw a pillow at him, but as earth's mightiest predator he dodged it effortlessly and kept whining. She sighed heavily, cursing in Japanese - simply because it was fun, and slowly rolled herself over. Her brain felt a little fuzzy, but it was probably because she stayed up so late with her sister and her friends.
It was an enjoyable affair. There was lots of laughter which suited Kairi perfectly - she could do without brooding and moroseness for a while. Everyone had a few beers through the night and chatted in friendly ways. Heather finally got to hear first hand accounts of Sherlock's exploits from John and Lestrade. Sherlock barely talked other than to add a few finer and somewhat uninteresting points to the story. Heather barely believed that a life so hectic and chaotic could be lived so comfortably. Kairi remembered her sister glancing at her, somewhat concerned, somewhat happy about what Kairi had fallen into.
She sat up slowly and finally stood up patting down her errant hair and admittedly, a bit wobbly after a few too many beers last night, walked over to open the door for Appa. He scurried out the barely open door and she could hear his clattering nails across the hardwood floors. She moseyed her way back over to her bed and flopped herself on top of the muppet comforter. She sighed heavily, trying to come to terms with her life at this moment.
First and foremost, she had a family now. Kairi and her sister had been thrust back together after her mother's indiscretions and were somewhat cultivating this new bond they shared. After years of confusion and probably resentment on both parts, they had matured enough to finally realize the fact that they were vastly different from one another and that was alright. They had developed into their own people at this point in their lives, established relationships (no matter how normal or odd they may be), put down roots, and were enjoying themselves (current murder aside). Kairi was happy with this development since it meant that she would at least get something positive after the years and years of suffering she had gone through at the hands of her familial issues. She found her sister easy to talk to, much like her mother used to be. Over the past couple weeks of Kairi being in her home, Heather had been open and comforting to be around. Kairi, despite her glaring insecurity, opened up to her sister and over the course of two weeks, they were able to talk to each other about their hardships and successes and be genuinely happy for one another. They both wanted different things out of life and they grew up enough to understand that they should respect each other's choices. They had never disliked each other really, but they just didn't grow up being friends. Heather was insanely social where Kairi was more introverted. Heather had a passle of close knit friends who she always seemed to be around, where Kairi was more of a home body and enjoyed books and technology. They were both very intelligent in their own ways, Heather, leaned more towards psychological sciences and brain physiology where Kairi held more interest in the central nervous systems of computers than her fellow man. Technical versus emotional. They both just developed on the opposite sides of the spectrum, never quite realizing that they still shared common human hardships that could be easily discussed. Kairi was happy that her and her sister had time to hash things out and find each other. They may never end up being best friends or calling each other everyday, but finally, Kairi could escape the unending shame she felt when faced with her sister and her seemingly perfect life.
Second, she had another sort of family as well. She sort of scoffed at the thought of it. No one would have guessed that Kairi would, in the end, have two families that she loved dearly. One just happened to be made up of people who are not genetically related to her. Molly was what she considered a best friend - she hadn't really had one of those before and it was refreshing. Their relationship was formed out of a need for companionship and it surprisingly formed a substantial and trusting bond. Kairi trusted Molly with her innermost secrets and fears and because of that, she was entitled the same from the beautiful coroner. John was this sort of constant brother and sounding board, they got along swimmingly and felt comfortable around each other. They bonded over being a verbal and emotional punching bag for Sherlock Holmes, but eventually just sort of clicked in sharing the same sort of wry humor. John being a military man didn't hurt either since Kairi was pretty accustomed to military family life. There was a slight bond that you shared with those people who understood the plight of either being a soldier or loving one. Lestrade was this figure in her life that she wasn't sure where to place. He wasn't exactly a mystery to her since he has always been very honest and open. They communicate well with each other and enjoy each other's conversations. He was surprisingly bright and a very brave and honorable man. He was sort of this White Knight in a world that didn't really hold honor in high esteem. He was a calming presence, grounding even, in her hectic life. Through working with Scotland Yard and in her case of course, she ended up spending a decent amount of time with him and developing rapport. He was fun to be around and easy to navigate because of his straightforward personality. Kairi was happy to have met him, but there was still a nagging factor of not knowing how to treat him. There was no denying the fact that she was attracted to him and that he was attracted to her. She felt comfortable with him and protected, but at the same time he, too, almost felt like a brother or in a less creepy descriptor, a friend. She wasn't quite sure where her relationship with Lestrade would go, but she wasn't afraid of it either. If it went down the path of friendship she would be happy. If it strayed into romance, she had this calming feeling of knowing it would probably end up being good. However, she didn't mind hanging in the balance and just enjoying the trust and companionship of said Detective Inspector.
Third, and probably most dysfunctional, was her relationship with Sherlock. The man... The man was utterly frustrating but ultimately captivating. They fought like alley cats, but she was drawn to him. She constantly found herself near him when she hadn't intended to do so. They had this sort of symphony of repel and attract that would either have them close enough to be called friends or far enough away to be barely acquaintances. In the end it disturbed her that he knew so much about her and she knew so little about him. He was a private person and was hard to read, whenever she was around him she wanted to be close to him but ended up feeling like she was constantly walking on egg shells. The most frustrating aspect was acknowledging her not-so-secret attraction to the man behind closed doors, where blushing and shivers could take their toll. When she thought about him, her heart instantly beat faster, her stomach flipped, and she felt her mouth go dry. She was never sure if she should run to him or away from him. In the end she knew she cared for him deeply in the sense that she felt as if he were a kindred spirit or an old soul. She could look into his eyes and understand him even though everything that came out of his mouth was completely annoying and absurd. This awkward friendship they formed had all sorts of fuzzy lines and red X's surrounding its perimeter. She didn't know how to classify it and this relationship was the one that scared her most of all. She wanted him in her life desperately, but she didn't know what role he would play. There was that creeping suspicion to find out just how his body would feel pressed up against hers in the heat of the moment - but being the tawdry brain-slut she was, she fantasized about a lot of men in that fashion. For him, though, it was rooted and almost primal. However, it wasn't so much his presence in his life that disturbed her, but rather, his absence. When he wasn't around, she felt an emptiness resting in her gut that she just couldn't shake. Perhaps it was because she cared about him, but it could also be the lovely realization that someone else is actually WORSE at human interaction than she is. The twang in her heart signified that it was the former and it scared the pants off of her. She wanted Sherlock Holmes and she wanted him badly, but she would never be able to act on those feelings because he absolutely terrified her.
She stayed, face down in a muppet and tried to calm her breathing. The house was eerily silent at this point, demonstrating that she ignored the devastating beauty of the nuclear bomb that is a family's early morning routine. She breathed deeply, almost willing herself to go back to sleep, but she knew it was already getting rather late and she really should get up and pretend to be functional. She groaned loudly at herself and let her thoughts wander further.
Instead she laid in bed and tried to will herself to make sense of this case, her life. She tried to remember her childhood, but the effort was moot at this point. Eighteen or so years of living with forgotten memories wouldn't suddenly change over night. She contemplated calling the good doctor for a chat, but in the end, she wasn't sure she wanted to remember these things. She had faint glimpses of inappropriate games with her dolls and it made her stomach queasy. She was fascinated by crime and violence at a young age, remembering that her favorite book in fifth grade was Silence of the Lambs. There were nagging feelings in her gut, pushing towards discovery, but in the end fear won over. Obviously, if she didn't remember her childhood there was probably a fairly good reason for it. The idea made her shudder as a cold chill seeped into the depths of her bones. Tears prickled at her eyes upon realizing that there was ten to twelve years of her life she would never get back. Many years of quality memories of her family or possibly happy moments with them that were completely and utterly lost on her. It broke her heart a little bit and her chest began to tighten with the beginnings of an anxiety attack. She wanted to cry, not remembering a time in her life when she didn't feel depressed or anxious or lonely or some combination. What if those ten years were full of something good that she couldn't grasp? She didn't understand why she was the way that she was and she was scared to try and figure it out. What if it only made things worse? What if, in the end, there were no bad memories that she blocked out? What if, in the end, she was just born flawed? The beginning of sobs wracked her chest but she was brought out of her emotional crash by the vworping of her phone.
She took some deep breaths and rubbed her face into the comforter to rid her cheeks of the tear lines and sniffled until she felt almost human. She picked up her phone and saw a text from Sherlock. He always seemed to know when she was in trouble and a ghost of a smile graced her lips.
We have learned all we can from the investigation in the states. We have decided to fly back to London in the morning. I can reserve you a ticket. - SH
Kairi's breath hitched and she wasn't sure what to think. The most frustrating aspect was that, to Sherlock, her return to London wasn't even a question. What did he know that she didn't?
She held her phone in her hands while she stared at the wall, trying to figure it out. Did she want to go back to London, continue her rather successful life that was beginning to blossom and risk worsening whatever it was that was happening to her? Or did she want to stay here, in California, with her sister and completely start anew, without warnings of spiders, dissected body parts in fridges, or the brooding glares of a temperamental man-child?
Her chest tightened again and she looked down at her phone, letting out a deep sigh.
She stood and pulled on her jeans from yesterday and made her way to the bedroom door, pushing complicated thoughts out of her brain until she had her coffee. She walked down the stairs and found her sister in the kitchen, flipping through some article on her ipad and Appa at her feet, chewing on a chunk of bagel.
Kairi couldn't help but chuckle and Heather looked up and smiled behind her reading glasses. Her hair was in a messy lump atop her head and she was still wearing her pajamas.
"Morning sunshine!" Heather chuckled as Kairi groaned, looking disheveled and miserable. "Coffee is on the burner for you."
Kairi only grunted her assent as she walked over and began pouring herself a mug and mixed in her preferred additives to the perfect consistency. She semi-glared at her sister who was wise enough to not drink to excess and rise in the morning looking fresh as a daisy. She took a sip and sighed, "I don't know why I try to have functional thoughts before coffee and a cigarette."
Heather chuckled, "Seriously. Shall we?"
Kairi nodded and they headed outside to drink and smoke in companionable semi-silence. As they sat on the lawn furniture, Kairi pulled out her pack of cigarettes and fished one out for herself. She flicked open the lighter Sherlock bought her and tried not to dwell on its significance to her or to him. As she took the blissful first inhale she slid them across the table to her sister and she did the same, but took the time to inspect the new lighter.
"This is beautiful." She murmured around the filter of her smoke, inspecting the lighter with great care. "Where did you get it?"
Kairi froze a bit, feeling nervous and exhaled with a bit of a cough, "Sherlock."
Heather nodded, a coy smile fighting for purchase on her lips, "The thin and gorgeous genius?"
Kairi tried to look unaffected, "Genius, yes. Gorgeous, I don't know. He's sort of like this mystical amoeba to me - amorphous and asexual."
Heather chuckled, "The lady doth protest too much, me thinks."
Kairi glared trying not to smile at her sister's well placed allusion, "Shut up."
Heather widened her smile, "He's an interesting guy, Sherlock. Really intelligent, its practically obnoxious, but rather kind." It was Kairi's turn to chuckle, "He seems to be a good friend to you." Kairi nodded, not quite sure how to respond. "And Lestrade. He seems to eye you quite a bit."
Kairi chuckled again, crinkling her nose, "He's kind of hot isn't he?"
Heather smiled, "That silver hair?" She moaned jokingly, "If I weren't completely and utterly devoted and entangled with the most fantastic man ever, I would be on that like white on rice."
Kairi laughed outright, "Slut, rub it in why don't you?" Heather smiled mischievously. "He keeps asking me out for drinks, Lestrade. Doesn't push or anything. Its always really kind and friendly, but I'm tempted to take him up on the offer."
Heather flicked the ash of her cigarette off the tip and frowned at her sister, "Whats stopping you?"
Kairi paused with the cigarette halfway to her lips, completely unsure. Her phone metaphorically burned in her pocket a bit at the idea of Why not? "I don't know. It just never seemed right."
Heather rose an appraising eyebrow, "Well, why not when you get back to London?"
Kairi glanced at her sister while she inhaled, "What makes you think I'm heading back to London?"
Heather smiled and sipped her coffee, Kairi did the same, "Oh Kairi, the second we saw that group at the institution, there was no doubt in my mind that you'd be heading back." Kairi exhaled slowly, listening to her younger, brighter sister, "The second you laid eyes on Sherlock, before you realized you were supposed to be upset with him there was a certain truth in your eyes."
Kairi took her turn to frown, "What truth? That he's infuriating?"
Heather smiled, "The second you looked at him, the simple, pronounced truth in your eyes was one singular word: Home." She paused to sip again and Kairi's heart ached, "I'm not stupid. Its the same look Adam gets when he's playing with the kids or when we're, you know...bumping uglies." She made a sort of vulgar face.
Kairi grimaced at her sister who simply laughed for a good long time at Kairi's discomfort. Until the chuckle died down and Kairi's smile faded, she glanced at her sister, "They want me to return with them to London. Tomorrow." She glanced at Heather to see if she could read her expression, but she only looked at her Kairi with slight concern, "I don't know what to do."
Heather shrugged and smiled, "As much fun as its been having you here and, I don't know," She sort of waved her hands around a bit as if trying to grasp the word she was looking for, "Reconnecting. You need to go home Kairi."
Kairi stared at the burning end of her cigarette, "You think home for me is in London?"
Heather chuckled, "Oh sister, you think London is home for you. I don't remember ever seeing you as happy and as animated with friends before I met these people. They do you good."
Kairi tried to fight a smile. "So you don't mind the short notice?"
Heather waved her hand in dismissal or to dissipate smoke, "Not at all. If London is where you want to be right now, then you should go." She reached over and placed a hand on Kairi's leg, "But if you want to stay you're welcome here as long as you need it. Julie pretends to hate sharing a room, but every night we go to check on them, her and Danni are curled into each other under a book."
With that thought, Kairi's heart warmed deeply and she smiled at her sister. They finished their cigarettes in silence and went back inside to get ready for the day.
Sherlock returned to the hotel per John's instructions to meet Lestrade and John in the small cafe. He saw them sitting at a table together with coffee and breakfast remnants on their table. They were chatting amicably and reading the news out of papers and magazines. He approached their table and sat silently, pulling out his phone and checking for a response from Kairi. He frowned to see that his inbox was empty.
"No news from Kairi then?" John said as nonchalantly as he could muster.
Sherlock only glared at him and waved a waitress over to order coffee. He waited impatiently for her to deliver the mediocre cup of watered down caffeine and mixed in his two sugars until the crystals melted. He took a sip and made an unsatisfied face, "Their coffee is dreadful here."
Lestrade peeked out behind his paper, "Well you could go to Starbucks and order a frapuccino princess."
Sherlock shot him another angry glare and pulled out his phone, inspecting the local news, both to the Bay Area and to London with nothing exciting piquing his interest. "Do we have any cases for when we return?"
Lestrade shook his head in the negative while continuing to read.
Sherlock could already feel the tendrils of boredom gripping his mind and he tapped his fingers on the table somewhat impatiently.
"Relax, she'll call." John muttered and handed Sherlock a magazine he was completely uninterested in.
Sherlock grabbed the magazine with a quizzical look, feigning ignorance, "Who?" He opened the magazine and pretended not to care. John just simply rolled his eyes.
The hotel they were staying in was close enough to the airport for it to be busy. It wasn't exactly tourist season in this area though the weather could support it at this time. It was brisk, but sunny. If the wind didn't pick up, the sun was actually quite warm. Sherlock had forgone his large coat this morning since it was hardly intolerable weather for a native Englishman. This was beach weather in some areas in Britain. He checked his phone again, as discreetly as he could and silently fumed. He told himself it was because it would be best to book the tickets as quickly as possible to ensure their placement on the flight. He was broken out of his reverie by Lestrade's phone vibrating across the table.
Lestrade reached out and grabbed the phone, checking the number and trying not to smile. He accepted the call and put it to his ear, "Hello love, how are you?" Sherlock knew that Lestrade used that specific term of endearment for many female friends and colleagues he was close to. "Oh good. Yeah. Don't worry about it. I'll send you all the information." Lestrade glanced at Sherlock momentarily, the slightest bit of unease in his eyes, which made Sherlock frown. "Course. You'll take my room. I'll bunk with a stooge." He smiled and John gave an amused chuff while still reading the paper. "Don't worry about it, Kairi," Lestrade gave a sideways glance at Sherlock unintended and Sherlock felt his stomach twist, "Yeah, we'll see you tonight." Lestrade ended the call and put it back in his pocket as Sherlock pretended to be interested in the pages before him.
After a few beats of silence Lestrade finally spoke to John and Sherlock, "That was Kairi. She's coming home with us. Says she will be here around nine p.m. after dinner and saying goodnight to her nieces."
"Oh good." John smiled at Lestrade over his magazine and then glanced at Sherlock who looked perturbed. "Sherlock you alright?"
Sherlock nodded, "Interesting happenings in the Middle East." Was all he said. John sort of nodded, looking at his friend, concerned. "You can bunk with John, Lestrade. I prefer my privacy."
Lestrade chanced a look at John who was looking back and forth between the two men, quite concerned.
"Yeah, that's fine." John said, confusion intoned and then men all went back to reading their papers in awkward silence.