Kairi fiddled with the neckline of her current blouse. It was pale gold, shimmery and flowy with a somewhat high neckline that did this odd little tie off to the side that seemed to flip onto her collar bone and annoy the tits out of her. She glared at it, awkwardly of course, as its almost impossible to glare at your own collar bone, and flicked it this way and that, until she decided to give up.
Her fingers went back to her slick keyboard, a pricey thing, ergonomic and possibly made of black gold for how much it cost. She had to admit that it curved perfectly to her hands. That was hard to do since her hands were smaller than the general population of tall, lanky, or thick boned, male computer programmers. Her fingers glided over it almost effortlessly as she picked away at her most recent project.
Since she had started working for Mycroft Holmes almost a week ago, she had been giving what she knew to be a run through. Most of her assignments were given as tests of her abilities. After a day or two of rather boring tasks she decided to hack into Mycroft's personal email account and printed out a few random emails. She put them in a folder and handed them to him on his way in one day. She had not dealt with him personally after her initial hire, but when he opened it and gazed through its contents, he had taken the time to stop and glance back and her with a knowing smile on his face. Kairi had ever so thoughtfully blacked out just about every other word with a dark marker. She had not been given any pointless, busy work since.
She was currently working on permanently erasing rather tawdry files and emails from a prestigious member of Parliament's home computer when her phone began to buzz. She glanced at the screen and sighed heavily. Sherlock was phoning. Again.
She ignored the phone call, knowing he would never leave her a message, but after about 12 missed calls and numerous limited text messages from the consulting detective over the past week she was growing weary.
She hadn't talked to any of her "friends" within that time. She was hoping that they would think she was abducted. Or dead. Either one would work for her current situation.
She sighed, recalling the previous week's events.
Kairi had slipped out of the sinful dress and plodded into one of her cozy outfits for home. Simple stretchy, fleece lined leggings, a form fitting tank top under a loose sweater, and her worn in calf skin boots. She grabbed her favorite hat and plopped it atop her head and made her way out to the patio with Appa at her heels.
She noticed that her mail was still sitting on the table from the day before so she flipped through it to see if anything was important. Glancing outside, she watched as Sherlock lit up a cigarette, an almost giddy spark in his eyes as he exhaled. His addiction to smoking was most unhealthy.
She chuckled to herself and glanced back at the envelopes beneath her fingertips. Mostly bills, some spam for pre-approved credit cards, and a few letters addressed to the tenant before her. The last envelope was sturdy, made from some high quality card stock, and slightly heavy in her hands. She glanced at the writing and her heart skipped ever so slightly.
The ink was dark and rich, flowing solidly from one letter to the next. The curve to the 'K' in her name sent a spike through her heart and she took a deep breath to calm herself. Her fingers were gripping the edge of the card stock as she walked to the door to her patio. The corners creased ever so slightly and she let out a shuddering breath, frantically smoothing out the crease caused by her panic. As she glanced at the envelope once again, a single tear dropped from her eye and splashed upon the ebony ink. It smeared only slightly and she fought desperately to keep the sob in her throat.
She had her fingers on the handle, not sure where her body was guiding her except that she knew she needed to do something, anything, besides reading the letter.
The cold air assaulted her and she shivered audibly, staring at the letter which was ripping her apart piece by piece. Why did this letter come now, when she was so close to a semblance of normal!? She had friends, she may have found peace, but no more. The article in her hand was a powerful black hole, sucking all of her sanity away from her in an instant.
"What is it?"
That velvet voice rang in her ears and she was almost able to take her eyes off of the envelope. She took a breath, feeling it halt in her chest and it pained her so. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to reassert her control over the pain that flooded through her veins. She was always so capable of it before. Why could she not do it now? Why couldn't she shut it all off?
When she glanced up, she was gazing into the crystal clear eyes of Sherlock Holmes, his face screwed up in curiosity. She could see his hands twitching to take it from her.
Her voice was weak, she felt like her diaphragm was spasming, failing as she took another breath, "Its a letter." She managed to squeak out. Her throat was dry and her stomach churned violently as she tried to pry the last words from her lungs, "Its from my mother."
There was a deafening silence between them and for a moment they stared at each other. Sherlock's eyes were open, consuming, confused as they danced between the letter in her hands and the pain on her face. He was still gripping the cigarettes, extended in his hands.
The door to her apartment seemed to crash open with life and happiness as John and Molly returned, burdened with Kairi's purchases. In that moment Kairi sobered herself up, swallowed hard and tucked the letter into her jacket and she felt Sherlock's eyes attach themselves to the letter almost instantly. She grabbed the cigarettes from the detective and with a shaky hand lit up her first one.
With the first inhale she was able to turn to Molly and John, both Doctors and both highly disapproving of the nasty habit of smoking, and Kairi smiled and waved.
"What kind of letter?" Sherlock finally asked.
Kairi looked at him, feigning her best clueless look, "I'm sorry. Its none of your business." As soon as she said it she knew she would regret it. Of course it was his business! The man practically mainlined mystery and intrigue - and if he didn't have that, it was coffee and nicotine and annoying the hell out of everyone around him.
He seemed to smirk at her ever so slightly, "What does it say?"
She glared at him, "I haven't read it and I wont read it in front of you. Its personal." She growled.
His smile only seemed to widen, "I was under the impression your mother was dead..." He began but Molly popped her head out just as Kairi was about to respond with a quivering lip that made Sherlock's smile falter.
"Come now, hurry up on those death sticks and come inside!" She smiled, "John and I brought Thai food!"
Kairi beamed at Molly, any trace of her previous sadness was erased, "Absolutely. Would you bring me a cup of wine?"
Molly shrugged and rolled her eyes playfully, "Sure!" With that, she popped back inside.
Kairi took another drag from her cigarette as Sherlock spoke, "You know, you cannot hide things from me. I am innately curious and brilliant."
Kairi felt her voice waver, "Piss on your brilliance." She threw her cigarette down to the ground and stomped on it, "Its not your concern!" She hissed at him. Sherlock was slightly shocked at her vehemence but it only made him more curious. She could see the twinkle in his eye, like an elf at Christmas. She turned sharply and walked back inside with her sweetest smile possible, John and Molly beaming at her with take out boxes lining her small coffee table.
"All right?" John said to her, his eyebrows lifted in concern as his eyes passed between his consulting detective and the girl with empty eyes. He knew how much Sherlock could rile Kairi.
"Perfect." Kairi lied. She shucked off her jacket and tossed it in her room, closing the door swiftly with Sherlock's eyes on her.
Kairi shook her head again and glanced at the code on her screen. She was in essence creating a virus to eat up and corrupt any files on her client's computer. In the end, he would look relatively blameless. When he got home, he would open up an email and POOF, a virus would destroy his hard drive and a flashy piece of code would ensure that certain emails would be deleted. A few random segments of personal files might get caught in the cross fire, but it was better to have that than have his indiscretions brought to light.
Her phone began to buzz again and she automatically silenced it. She only had a few more lines of code to go before she would be able to go home. If there was one thing about this job she didn't like – other than her inability to wear jeans and a pair of Converse – was the fact that she had no actual hours. Jobs were completed when they were assigned, sleepiness be damned. However, she did get paid an absurd amount of money.
An icon appeared on her screen that she had not seen before. It was a simple red 'X' over a standard pad lock. Curious as ever, she clicked on it and her computer froze.
"NO!" She shouted at the screen, gripping it for dear life. She was relieved that she saved only five minutes ago, otherwise she would have lost hours of work. As she rapped the monitor with her knuckles, knowing it wouldn't do a thing, she heard footsteps approach her cubicle hastily.
A she reached down to the tower of her CPU to do a hard reset – which she detested - her wrist was grasped firmly and she gasped in shock. As she looked up, a pair of familiar, clear eyes were gazing back at her. "What are you doing!?" She screeched.
A very coy smile played upon his lips, "Run."
Without a second of hesitation, Kairi smiled at Sherlock Homes, adjusted her hand in his and began running from her cubicle amongst the clanging of an alert system piping over the speakers. As they dashed through the hallway, Kairi could feel the tension in her body, "Mycroft wont let you get away with this. You're basically kidnapping a very important member of his team!" She whispered harshly to Sherlock as they crept around a corner.
"Really? Important?" He drawled.
Kairi couldn't help but smirk, "You bet your sweet ass!"
Sherlock glanced back a bit shocked for only a moment before he lunged into the next walkway, tugging Kairi behind him. She could see the mischief in his eyes and in his smile. She could tell he enjoyed annoying his brother to no end. She was sure she'd get canned for letting Sherlock take her away from her dreary cubby, but at this moment she didn't care. The entire building was heading into lock down because of a security breach and all she could do is laugh as the mad man with a scarf tugged her along the halogen lit hallways to her freedom.
She couldn't help but smile, vaguely believing that Mycroft couldn't actually be mad at his own brother and the best programmer in his inconspicuous little company.
When they reached Kairi's apartment, Sherlock tugged her in and slammed the door with excitement. He peeked out the peep-hole as Kairi removed her jacket and pet Appa on the head.
"So you kidnapped me from work for a smoke I'm assuming?" She smiled as she made her way to her patio with Sherlock and Appa in tow. He was silent until they were outside, Kairi bundled in her jacket and a cigarette clasped between her ruby lips.
Sherlock lit up a cigarette and glanced at her wearily, "No, not just a smoke." He admitted. "I'm here to talk about the letter."
Kairi hung her head and sighed, "Sherlock its really none of your business."
"I've read it." He stated quietly.
Kairi froze with a cigarette halfway to her lips, "I'm sorry, what?"
Sherlock remained silent as he brought a cigarette between his pale lips. He didn't look at her.
"I told you it wasn't your business." Kairi said, her voice eerily soft and emotionless. "It was mine to read." She stared at him, her eyes beginning to water and she could sense his unease. "It wasn't yours to read." She stated rather dully.
"Doesn't matter." He grumbled and glanced at her, "I wanted to."
With a shriek Kairi pitched her lit cigarette at his face and he was lucky that the filter bounced off his cheek and the lit end smouldered on his favorite coat. He had the audacity to look up at her with disdain.
"This is my favorite coa-"
"FUCK YOUR COAT!" She screamed at him with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Don't you care at all!? You're invading my privacy! You are infiltrating a piece of my history that I don't want to revisit!"
Sherlock pouted slightly, refusing to look at her, "You are mislead," He mumbled a little pathetically, "I don't care at all. I wanted to know what it said, so I read it. I told you that you couldn't keep it from me."
"I haven't even read it you bastard!" She screamed at him as she pushed past him and stormed inside with Appa trailing behind her with his tail curled under and his ears folded back. Kairi stripped off her smoking jacket as unwanted tears streamed down her cheeks. She lost control again in front of that infuriating detective. She thought they had an understanding. She thought they could work together without murdering each other. She glanced at the kitchen for a second through her tears and vaguely thought about how quickly she could get to a knife.
Her eyes trailed to the table where the letter sat open on her desk and her resolve crumbled. She sat down hard in her favorite chair and disintegrated into a blubbering mess. All those years she shoved down deep, all those wonderful horrible memories clamoring at her resolve. She could barely hold on. She sobbed uncontrollably into her hands. The empty part of her was happy that she put on waterproof make up today.
She felt a furry mass lean heavily against her leg and she looked up to see Appa, ears back, eyes sad, tipping his head back to look at her longingly. She reached out and let her hand fall over his fluffy head clumsily.
She had just noticed that time had passed. The sun was lower in the sky and she felt utterly and hopelessly alone. She glanced at her dining table where the fateful letter lay and she saw Sherlock sitting there silently, staring intently at the letter.
"Why are you still here?" She managed to croak out.
Sherlock's gaze flickered to her and he looked morose, maybe even sad if Kairi believed he had a heart. "You should read it."
Kairi scoffed at him, "Why the fuck does it matter now? It wont make any more sense to me than to an absolute stranger."
Sherlock glared at her slightly, "What do you mean?"
Kairi rocked slightly, her eyes glassy, "Its why I don't give my address to family. I don't need the reminders."
"What reminders?" He lead her gently.
"The reminder that I have a family."
He looked taken back by her statement. "Why don't you want the reminder?"
She looked at him, practically hypnotized by emotion, "It hurts. I don't want to hurt anymore. I've been hurt enough."
He swallowed tightly and stood, the letter in his hand and he approached her slowly. Her eyes glazed again as she stared at nothing. He circled her chair and Appa growled viciously at him as he made his way to the love seat.
Kairi jumped into movement and hugged Appa almost desperately, burrowing her face in his fur. He happily engaged his master and relished in the contact. Sherlock was bored with this emotional display. He couldn't understand why a pet could deserve such emotion. The dog seemed to glare at him.
He sat down slowly, Kairi's face still buried in fur. He felt her piercing glance around her dog's collar and he saw her let out a long sigh. She sat up slowly, wiping at her pale face now blotchy with sadness. She sniffled a bit and adjusted her seat and invited Appa up into the chair with her. After a tangle of limbs and fur, she put her hand out to Sherlock and he handed her the letter.
She gazed at the writing on the lovely cream card stock, the same the envelope was made from. It smelled faintly of cinnamon and vanilla, the smell of home. She had to gulp back another sob as she saw the graceful, looping scrawl of her mother. Of the person who used to be her mother. She glanced up at Sherlock and he was sitting back against her love seat, eyes closed and fingers steepled over his lips.
She finally let her eyes decipher the writing and absorb the words and meaning. Like so many times she had tried before, only to be upset and empty after the garbled words flew off the page and streamed into nothing. Her mother was not her mother any more.
"Read it aloud if you could." He said quietly.
Kairi sighed.
"There stood a crab with all eight toes
With knowledge vast and many woes
He stood above black sea so high
Thinking that the end is nigh
He pondered what he loved the most
Not a penny pence or mother's toast
But mostly that he loved to boast
With knowledge vast and wide.
He knew not love or care for friends
And this is when the story ends
He dropped to make the story bend
To please his sea's folk eye
His knowledge vast, hourglass of stone
And nothing shall his memr'y hold
Except of course for all his woes
He sadly now must lie
So choose a life full of heart
And ne'er let red waves depart
Know that you cannot restart,
For crabs surely cannot fly."
Kairi finished with a long shuddering breath, "See? It means nothing." She sighed heavily and glanced at Sherlock who was motionless. "It's gibberish. Its always gibberish"
"Nothing is gibberish" He muttered, sounding irritable. "There's always meaning behind words."
Kairi laughed ruefully, "Not hers."
Sherlock opened his eyes, curious, "How so?"
Kairi smiled, tainted with pain, "She's got early onset Alzheimer's."
"Alzheimer's." Sherlock slapped his hands against his thighs, "Of course! I thought it was a nursery rhyme. How stupid!"
Kairi looked at him angrily, "She used to tell me nursery rhymes when I was growing up." She choked back a sob, "She used to make them up for me. I never got the normal stories like my sister did."
Sherlock seemed to brush away her idle chatter. His thoughts kept grasping at the words in the simple letter. He kept having to remind himself they were the silly ramblings of a crazy woman.
"She suffered from PTSD." Kairi muttered through tears, "Its how she met my father originally. They were in war together. You don't escape from that unscathed."
Sherlock remained silent as the words Kairi spoke melded with the words from the rhyme, attacking the symbolism, the cadence, any possible codes that were hidden.
"When -," Her voice cracked, swallowed whole by the pain in her heart, "When my father died, my mother fell apart. Her mind literally broke from the strain of dealing with the loss of her soul mate," Her voice faltered again and she swallowed hard, "We had to put her in a home. She went comatose. Stopped being able to function. She needed care and I couldn't do it."
Sherlock paused his thinking to address her, "You have a sister."
Kairi glanced at him, not fully knowing if she had told him that fact or not, her brain was addled by sadness, "I said that. We couldn't take care of her."
Sherlock chose not to correct her.