I'm not blind you see
And you're not fooling me
You've stepped into my territory
Let me introduce myself
Your reality
Your morality
His fantasy
-"Let Me Introduce Myself" (Marion Raven)
---
May 30, 2004
Since hearing about Michelle's marriage, Isaac was eager to call Michelle. He felt slighted that she hadn't already told him. He knew, thanks to Entertainment Tonight, that her and Teddy had eloped in Mexico, so he wasn't offended that he wasn't invited, but he did feel hurt that she hadn't shared the good news with him. Even though Isaac hadn't seen Michelle for what felt like ages to him, he still considered her one of his best friends. He had formed a bond with her that was unshakeable and that friendship would continue for many years, but he didn't know that yet. At this point, in 2004, Isaac was struggling with how to maintain his friendship with Michelle while also respecting her need to avoid his brother. This was not an easy task. So he settled for calling her often and he hoped, with time, her anger towards his brother would fade, and they could all hang out like in the old days.
In late May 2004, Hanson were on tour, currently in Long Island, N.Y. Isaac and his brothers did their usual soundcheck, then headed their separate ways, as usual, to prepare and have some space before meeting once again to play the promo show. They had been hard at work, traveling to promote Underneath, but were struggling to get radio play, which was a stress weighing on all of them. They'd been bickering and Isaac was grateful to get away from his brothers for a few minutes.
He stepped outside into the warm, sunny spring breeze and dialed her familiar number.
"Hey Ike!" Michelle answered happily. "How are you, buddy?"
"I'm good. Yourself?"
"Good. What's up?"
"Oh, just calling to say hi, killing some time before the show, ya know."
"Ah. You guys are still on tour, right?" Michelle asked.
"Yep. We're in New York now. Another promo show...in July we start the official "Underneath" tour. We're basically planning on playing the same songs, but electric."
"That'll be cool," Michelle mused. "I mean, acoustic is fun but you can only do so much with it, you know?"
Isaac nodded. "Yeah, agreed. Plus I'm pretty stoked I got a new guitar to play around with."
"Nice. What kind?"
"A Gibson custom. Had it made in Tulsa by a bud of mine. It's really cool. I'll send ya a pic on my fancy new phone."
Michelle laughed. "New phone and new guitar! Someone's moving up in the world," she joked.
"I like to think so."
Michelle smiled and paused a moment before replying.
"Hey, Ike, uh I have some news. I, uh got married."
"I know," Isaac said simply.
Michelle raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"You do? How?"
"We saw it on ET last week. I was thinking you'd call and tell me, but you never did so...here I am calling you to congratulate you."
Michelle mentally cursed herself. She could hear the hurt in Isaac's voice, and knew she should have told him sooner.
"I'm sorry, Ike. It was all so sudden. I'm still kind of processing it myself."
"It' okay, Michelle. I get it. I'm happy for you though,"
"I am too," Michelle said, smiling to herself. "It's a big step, but it feels right."
"Speaking of, are you still seeing that woman...what was her name? Vicki?" Michelle asked,
"Nikki. Yeah, I am! I mean, I've been on tour a lot recently, but whenever I'm free I go see her in Louisiana, or she comes to see me. She's in college, so her schedule is fairly flexible."
"That's awesome."
"Yeah, I really like her." Isaac said.
Michelle was quiet for a moment before speaking.
"So, uh...Taylor knows about me getting married, too?"
"Yeah, uh...he was in the room when we were watching the T.V. when the program came on. He didn't take it well, as you can imagine."
Michelle didn't know how to respond to that. He hadn't "taken it well"? Taylor had left her, so as far as she was concerned, he shouldn't care less that she had gotten married.
"Yeah, well I guess it's kind of poetic justice, isn't it? After all, that's how I found out his marriage to Natalie and about his son Ezra...that stupid show," Michelle said, not trying to hide the tiny hint of bitterness in her voice.
"That's true," Isaac said.
He wanted to tell Michelle about how Taylor had found and listened to her album, and how he knew it was about him. He wanted to tell her how his brother had gone over to her old apartment and tried to find her. He wanted to tell her her Taylor still loved her. There was no doubt in his mind that if Michelle wanted him back, Taylor would leave Natalie to be with her, but Isaac knew that was a bad idea and not his place. Michelle was married now. Taylor was nothing, but a footnote in her past. She had moved on and he was proud of her for doing so.
"Well, anyway," Michelle said, "I need to be somewhere. Let's catch up more later, okay? Call me over the weekend?"
"Will do," Isaac responded.
The two exchanged pleasantries and hung up.
Isaac walked back into the venue, deep in thought about Michelle, her past with his brother, her marriage and everything that had happened in the last couple of years. He was happy Michelle had been able to move on.
He only wished his brother could do the same thing.
---
Marit sat cross-legged on her bed, strumming her guitar, lost in thought. She'd been working on a song for the past couple hours, and was pleased with it but it needed some finishing touches.
She readjusted her fingers on the strings and played a few chords of it, singing along.
Lend me your ears, I would like to confess
I'm doubting that you can be real
By your side wearing a beautiful dress
I celebrate how good it feels
The song was to be the title track on her new album and was inspired by a man she'd been dating. They'd met a few months back in a coffee shop around the corner from her apartment, and it had been love at first sight. Just like in the movies.
Despite being happy in her new relationship, Marit still found herself thinking about Isaac sometimes. She had really liked Isaac. He had been very special to her. If their situation had been different, she didn't doubt they'd still be together. She knew she'd broken his heart, but she also knew she wasn't cut out for a long-distance relationship.
She put her guitar down and walked over to her dresser, on which a copy of Underneath sat. She'd gotten it last month from a friend. She loved the record, and had listened to it numerous times since she'd gotten it. She had meant to call Isaac sooner and tell him how much she was enjoying the album. Now was as good a time as any, she figured.
She picked up her phone and dialed his number, hoping he hadn't changed it.
Isaac answered right away.
"Marit?"
"Hey, Ike. Long time no talk. Do you have time to chat? Is this a bad time?"
"No, this is perfect. How are you?"
Marit climbed back on her bed and sat down cross-legged again, trying to decide how to tell him about everything that had happened since she last talked to him.
"Gosh, so much has happened since I last talked to you."
"Me, too," Isaac laughed. '"I don't know where to start."
"Well, I will then," Marit laughed. "Firstly, it's really good to hear from you. I've been meaning to tell you that I picked up a copy of your new album, and I love it so much!"
"How'd you get a copy of it? I don't think it's being released in Norway until next February."
"I have my connections," Marit laughed. "I wasn't going to wait that long!'
"So what have you been up to? Where are you living these days?"
"I'm still in Norway. I'm working on a new album, actually."
"Really? That's awesome," Isaac replied. "You gonna send me a copy once it's ready?"
"Of course!" Marit replied.
There was something Marit wanted to ask Isaac about but wasn't sure how to bring it up. She wanted to know if he'd moved on, met someone else, but wasn't sure if it was her place to ask, but she decided to anyway.
"So, have you met anyone recently?" she said casually.
"Like a woman?" Isaac asked.
"Yeah, you know, are you dating anyone?"
"Yeah, actually, I've been seeing this woman named Nikki. I met her in New Orleans. She's great."
Marit breathed a sigh of relief.
"That's great, Ike!" she hesitated a moment before continuing. "You know, I always felt really bad about how I ended things with you."
"Don't feel bad, I get it." Isaac said. "We lived in different parts of the world. You did what was best for both of us. I couldn't see it then, but I do now."
Marit smiled. She thought about how much Isaac had matured since she had dated him.
"I'm glad you feel that way, because I don't want you to have any resentment towards me."
"Don't worry Marit, I don't. I'm happy you called. It's great to hear from you."
Marit could hear the sincerity in his voice, and knew he was telling the truth.
"So, I have some news too...I met a guy, here in my neighborhood, actually. His name's Paul."
"That's great, Marit. What's he like?"
"He's really smart, and sweet and funny. He's pretty much just great. We moved in together already. It's going fast, but it feels right. I really like him."
Isaac smiled to himself and he thought about how Marit sounded really cute when she got excited about something. It was a trait he'd always loved about her. He wondered if their situations had been different, would they still be together?
"I'm really happy for you, Marit. You know it goes without saying if you're ever in the U.S. to call me, right? Tay and Zac would love to see you, as well as me of course."
"I would love that, but honestly I don't get back to the U.S. often, Ike. Since Marion and I broke up our band, I'm pretty well based here, but who knows. Maybe my new album will do well and I'll get to tour." Marit said hopefully.
"If that happens, I'll be front row. I'd love to hear you play your new stuff," Isaac said.
Marit heard the door open in her apartment and knew then that Paul was home.
"Hey Ike? Paul's back. I should go, but it was really great talking to you. Tell Tay and Zac I said hey, huh?"
"Will do, Marit. Take care."
Marit hung up the phone feeling satisfied with her conversation with Isaac. She was so glad he'd moved on.
She no longer had to feel bad about breaking his heart, for that she was grateful.
She could finally move on, knowing he had as well.
---
June 2004
Taylor was driving to the studio when his phone rang.
He pulled over and looked down at it, surprised to see it was someone he hadn't talked to in a long time; Alex.
He hesitated, but decided to answer this time. He'd been avoiding Alex, and he knew he had to talk to him eventually. He just didn't know what to say, or how to even start with everything that had happened. There had been a time where he would have told Alex anything, but his life had changed so much he no longer felt that Alex would understand or could relate. To Taylor, it felt like his life in L.A. with Alex had been a different life.
"Hey, Alex." Taylor said softly, turning off the car and leaning back in his seat.
"Taylor?"
The surprise was evident in Alex's voice.
"Is that you?"
"In the flesh," Taylor joked. "How are you, old friend?"
"I'm good. I'm so glad you answered! It's been so long since I talked to you...I thought you'd never return my calls."
Taylor felt bad for ignoring Alex, but he couldn't really explain why he'd felt the need to do that.
"Well, I answered this time, didn't I?" Taylor said meekly.
There was a silence on the other line and Alex tried to decide what to say next to the guy who he once considered his best friend, but who had been ignoring his calls for months.
Alex finally decided on the basics. He knew he'd have to ease into a conversation with Taylor to finally get to a point where he could ask the real questions he wanted answers to.
"How have you been?"
"I'm okay. We're living back in Tulsa. We finally released the record. We've been touring. Can't complain, I guess."
"I know," Alex said carefully. "I saw you guys were playing here in L.A. recently. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt that you didn't call me when you were in town."
Taylor was quite, unsure how to respond to that. He felt bad. Alex was right. He should have called him.
"I'm sorry, Alex. I just...have this new life now with Ezra and Natalie...I can't really hang out or anything. I'm busy all the time. It's not personal."
Alex sighed. "I know, Tay. I get it. I just miss you. It really hurt when you didn't even bother to tell me you got married, or when you left L.A. You were my best friend, you know? I just don't know why you felt the need to just drop me like that."
Taylor struggled with explaining what was going through his head at that time.
"It was a hard time, Alex. I got Natalie pregnant, and Michelle and I broke up, and then Natalie and I got married shortly after that. Then I moved back home...and everything happened so quickly. It just seemed like my life in L.A. was a different world, you know? I didn't think you'd even want to hang out with me anymore now that I was married and all."
Alex didn't understand where Taylor was coming from.
"Of course I'd still want to hang out with you."
"I'm sorry, Alex."
There was an awkward silence.
"Well, bro," Alex finally said, "I'm glad you're doing well. It goes without saying that if you're ever in L.A. to call me, but I doubt you will."
Taylor could hear the bitterness in his voice but was at a loss as to how to change it. What was done was done.
"I will, Alex. I promise." he lied.
"Yeah, right. Okay, well thanks for finally answering." Alex sighed.
And with that, Alex was gone, and all Taylor heard was a dial tone. Taylor sighed and put the phone down. He turned the car back on and continued his drive to work.
As he drove, he thought about all the fun Alex and him had had, and what a good friend Alex had been to him. Taylor figured Alex was better off without him, anyway. Taylor didn't have time for friends. He had his band and his wife and son. That was all he had time for. Perhaps things had turned out for the best. At least Taylor had to believe that was true, what else could he do?
---
December 2, 2004
Earlier in the day, Kate had received a text from her mom telling her there was a package waiting for her at her house in Atlanta. Kate was wildly curious as to what this may be, as she hadn't ordered anything to be sent to her mother's address. When she had started college, she'd changed her address to the P.O. boxes on campus. She had decided to drive over to her mother's house after class that day to get it.
When she got to her mother's house, no one was home, so she keyed in and soon found the package sitting on the kitchen table.
Kate put her keys and purse down on the table, and sat down to open it.
The entire package was a mystery. Kate held it in her hands and inspected it. It was a thin package. The return address was from Norway, which completely baffled her. She didn't know anyone in Norway. However, the package was clearly addressed to her, to "Kathryn", her full name, which no one called her by. The suspense killing her, she opened the package and out fell an unmarked CD, with a small note taped to it.
Kate ripped off the note and unfolded it, and started to read.
Kate,
This song was inspired by you. Enjoy.
Xo Marion
Kate re-read the note and threw it on the table, her blood boiling at seeing Marion's name. She immediately took the CD and went upstairs to her old room, where she knew there was an old CD player. She popped the CD in and listened to the song instantly all the way through.
I'm not blind you see
And you're not fooling me
You've stepped into my territory
Let me introduce myself
His fantasy
By the end of the song, Kate was livid. Kate had no idea how Marion knew these things about her. As for as she was concerned, this song was character defamation, and Kate wasn't below suing Marion for it. She made a mental note to consult with a friend of hers who was studying law.
She couldn't wait to get home and call and tell Natalie about this.
She popped the CD back in the case and returned it, along with the note, to the package. She jogged downstairs and grabbed her keys and purse and headed out the door.
Luckily, that weekend she was scheduled to spend the weekend in Tulsa. She decided to wait until the next day when she saw Natalie to tell her about it.
But under no circumstances did she want Zac to listen to this song. She vowed to let that never happen.
---
The next day
The drive to Tulsa was long and boring as usual. Kate drove faster than she normally would, because she was eager to tell Natalie about the song.
She pulled up to Natalie and Taylor's house around 5 p.m. She let herself in and found Natalie sitting at the kitchen table with Ezra, playing a game.
"Hey lady!" Kate said, walking up to Natalie and giving her a hug. She then ruffled Ezra's hair.
"Hey little guy! Did you miss your auntie?"
Ezra just stared up at Kate, and silently handed her a chip from the board game.
"You're not his aunt," Natalie laughed. "Godmother though, for sure."
"I will be someday," Kate said frankly, "when Zac and I get married."
Natalie raised an eyebrow.
"Okay then, whatever you say,"
Kate walked over to the fridge and rummaged around inside for a snack. She settled on a yogurt. She sat down next to Natalie and opened it, eating it hungrily.
"Someone was hungry," Natalie noted.
"Starved. That drive never gets any shorter," Kate laughed. "It would have been so much easier if I could have gone to college here."
"Yeah, but then I'd have to see you all the time, and get sick of you," Natalie joked, winking at her friend.
"Haha." Kate said, finishing her yogurt and pushing it aside.
"Guess what I got in the mail today," she said, fishing the package out of her bag. She slid it across the table to Natalie, who looked at it, confused.
"What is this?"
"Open it," Kate said, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms. "You won't believe it."
Natalie opened the package and pulled out the CD and note. She unwrapped the note and read it quickly. Her eyebrows raised.
"Whoa. Marion sent this? As in Marion-Marion?"
"Yup. The one and only"
"Did you listen to it?"
"I did. It's a song about me. A pretty nasty one at that."
"Can I listen to it?" Natalie asked.
"Sure,"
Natalie grabbed Ezra and the three went into the living room to use the Cd player in there.
After the song, Natalie looked at Kate, shocked.
"Wow, that is really bad, Katie. Has Zac heard this?"
"Oh hell no. And he never will."
Natalie looked at her friend in alarm.
"What if he does?"
Kate shook her head.
"He won't."
The two sat in silence for a while. Natalie could tell Kate was worried, but wasn't showing it. Kate always tried to remain calm and controlled in stressful situations. Natalie knew Kate had to be really worried about what was said in that song and about Zac finding out.
"He still doesn't know, does he?" Natalie asked.
"No," Kate said simply.
---
The same day, Zac and Isaac's apartment
Taylor had texted Zac from the studio to tell him he'd received a package from Norway. This interested Zac. He thought it may be the promo copy of the Japanese Underneath, and told Taylor to open it, but instead Taylor told Zac it was from Marion. Zac, wildly curious, decided to drive over to the studio to see what it was.
He was expecting Kate in town any minute now, but she hadn't called to say she was in town yet, so he figured she was just running late.
He arrived at the studio and jogged inside, a sinking feeling in his chest.
"Hey dude," Zac said, walking into 3CG via the back entrance. "Hand it over,"
Taylor handed him the CD.
"It's a song. I listened to it, man. It's not good. It's about Kate I guess."
Zac quickly unfolded and read the note, his brow furrowed.
"Oookay," he said, "play it for me,"
Taylor reached over and pressed play on the CD player.
Zac listened to the song, expressionless. During the last bar, he shut it off.
"I can't listen to this shit anymore," he muttered. He sat down heavily in a chair across from his brother.
"Why would Marion send this to me? We broke up years ago. Why would she even bother to write a song about Kate? Does she seriously have no life?"
Taylor shook his head.
"Who knows, man. Don't even worry about it. I doubt anything in that song is real, anyway."
Right then, Zac got a text from Kate saying she was over at Taylor's place.
"It's Kate, I gotta go," Zac said, getting up and grabbing his keys.
Taylor looked at his brother worriedly. He could tell Zac was worried and upset.
"Zac? Don't just accuse her, okay? She probably has no idea about the song."
"I'll keep you posted." and he was out the door.
Taylor sighed and turned the song on again. One particular lyric really bugged him;
You got everything that I want
You got him in the palm of your hand
But I know you've slept with everyone in his band
Again again again
What could she be referring to? He certainly hadn't slept with Kate.
That only left Isaac. Could it be possible that Kate had slept with Isaac?
For Zac's sake, Taylor hoped not.
---
Zac got back to his brother's house in record time, and found his girlfriend and Natalie sitting on the couch in the living room.
"Hey babe!" Kate said, getting up and giving him a hug and a kiss.
But the look on Zac's face made her blood run cold.
"What's wrong, baby?" Kate asked.
Zac held up the CD.
"Marion sent this to me,"
Natalie looked at Kate, shocked.
"She sent it to Kate, too," she said, before she could help herself.
"Yeah, about that..." Kate said quietly. "Can we sit down?"
Zac sat down with Kate on the couch.
"Please tell me this song isn't true," he said.
"Actually, Zac I think the song is about both Kate and I,"
Zac thought about that for a second and it seemed plausible. But there was one lyric that really bugged him.
He sat up and popped the CD in the player.
"I don't want to listen to it again," Kate said.
"Too bad," Zac replied.
The three listened to the song again. Zac watched Kate and how she'd react. She just stared at her hands. Natalie bit her lip nervously and looked between her best friend and Zac worriedly.
The song ended.
"'But I know you've slept with everyone in his band'? 'This' is obviously me. But you...haven't slept with my brothers, so I don't know how to take that." Zac finally said, looking at Kate, his eyes begging her to explain.
Kate sighed. "Zac, listen. Marion hates me. The song is a lie. It's all made up. Natalie obviously didn't lie about her birth control and I obviously didn't sleep with your brothers."
"I did actually.." Natalie said quietly.
"What?" Kate said in surprise, looking over at Natalie.
"I did lie about my birth control. That night when Taylor and I slept together. I told him I was on it, but I really wasn't, because I wanted to have sex with him,"
Both Zac and Kate looked at Natalie in shock.
"How would Marion know that?" Kate asked.
Natalie shrugged. "Maybe Tay told her? I admitted it to him a while back."
Though this admission was interesting, Zac was more concerned about what part or parts of the song were about Kate. Zac wanted to believe Kate, but something seemed off in her voice; it was wavering and she could barely make eye contact with him.
"Kate, look at me," Zac said sternly.
Kate did so.
"Are you telling me the truth?"
Kate didn't answer.
"Zac, listen to yourself. Of course she's telling the truth. Marion is obsessed with you obviously and still hasn't moved on and she's trying to break you two up." Natalie piped up in her friend's defense.
Zac gave Natalie a dirty look. "I didn't ask for your opinion," he snapped.
Natalie crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Fine," she muttered.
Zac stared at Kate and suddenly something remarkable happened; Kate's eyes welled up with tears and she put her hands in her lap and started to cry.
Zac stared at Kate shocked for a moment, then went over and put his arm around her.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"I did it with....Ike, years ago," Kate said suddenly. She sobbed in between words. "I've...wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how. I was afraid you'd dump me."
Zac felt like the floor had dropped under his feet and the wind had been knocked out of him.
He took his arm off Kate and stood up trying to regain his composure. He took several deep breaths.
Natalie looked at him sadly.
"I'm so sorry Zac," she said, as if she had been responsible.
"I think I'm going to throw up," Zac said quietly, walking to the other side of the room and staring out the window.
Kate continued to cry as she tried to explain. "It was a long time ago. You and I weren't even really together yet. It just happened once, and Ike felt really bad about it and begged me to not tell you, because he knew you really liked me. It didn't mean anything."
Zac didn't say anything. He just continued to stare out the window, his back to her.
"Zac?" Kate said. "Look at me."
He turned and stared at Kate with the saddest look on his face she'd ever seen.
"You had sex with my brother?" he asked quietly. "Seriously?"
Natalie comforted Kate, who was beside herself crying.
"Are you going to break up with me?" she sniffed.
Zac sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
"No. I don't know. I need some space." he said.
"Please don't go." Kate pleaded.
"I'll talk to you later," he said.
Zac then walked out the door without looking back.
That's not the end! Stay tuned for Chapter 17 coming soon!