Chapter 10: "With Or Without You"

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See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait, without you

     -"With Or Without You" (U2)

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March 2002

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March 2002

(Local Farmers Market-Venice Beach)

Ever since Taylor had told Michelle that Hanson's upcoming album was being put on hold and that he and his brothers were moving back to Tulsa, everything had changed. It had been nearly a month since Michelle had suggested to Taylor that they should take a break to think things over, and they hadn't spoke since then.

Michelle always knew in the back of her mind that her and Taylor's careers would eventually interfere in their relationship. That is what she had feared the most. She just hadn't hoped it would happen so soon. Music is what drew them to each other in the first place and music is what would eventually tear them apart, she always figured. That's why Michelle was so hesitant to start a relationship with Taylor due to this fear, but in the end she gave into her heart's desire, and that desire was that she wanted to be with Taylor. Taylor managed to break through the barriers Michelle had put up due to her past history with her ex-high school boyfriend Jimmy. Taylor was the only boy who managed to mend Michelle's broken heart and give her the hope to trust in love again. She loved Taylor so much that it pained her to be away from him. She regretted suggesting that they take a break from each other, but Taylor's sudden marriage proposal had drove Michelle to make that hasty decision. She loved Taylor, but she definitely didn't want to marry him. At least not yet.

Frankly, his proposal had scared her. Michelle knew how serious Taylor was about their relationship, just like she was, but she hadn't thought he was so serious to the point where he was thinking about marrying her right away, considering the fact they were both just barely legal age. To Michelle, marriage was a life-changing event that meant commitment. Michelle wasn't afraid of commitment, but she was afraid of change and she knew marriage would change everything for her and Taylor. She didn't think it would be for the better. They are both so young still and Michelle wanted to focus on her career and still have the option to travel around the world, feeling completely carefree to life's responsibilities. Somewhere deep inside she knew a part of Taylor wanted that too, or at least she thought he did.

Michelle thought about Taylor everyday, but she hadn't called him. There are many times she almost had, but then she'd put down the phone because she still didn't know what to say. She didn't want to get married, he did. He was moving back to Tulsa, she lived in L.A. A part of her thought it would be best for them to just move on, but another, bigger part of her knew she didn't want to live without him - she just wasn't sure how they could make it work. She was hoping time would give her clarity, but it only made her miss him more.

It was a fairly warm and sunny morning in L.A. in early March and Michelle was currently doing her weekly grocery shopping.

As Michelle was surveying a small mango in her hand, she heard her cell phone ring. She put the the mango in her basket and opened her purse and took her phone out. She cringed when she saw it was her manager. She answered the call.

Are You Happy Now? - Part 1 (COMPLETED)Wo Geschichten leben. Entdecke jetzt