The ride back to the hotel goes by achingly slowly, unfortunately giving me enough time to actually think about my predicament.
I know Benjamin doesn't want to date; he's clearly gotten around just fine without commitment up until now, so why would he? I've tried to convince myself of this fact, but I can't help the nagging part of me that doesn't want to give up on him so easily, because pretending last night never happened would be heartbreaking.
I clamber into the hotel elevator in a daze.
Maybe I should call Claire? Or Jenny? Just so I have someone to talk to about this? I decide calling Jenny might be the smarter idea because I'm still not completely sure what Claire's reaction would be. She could be happy or jealous, and I don't feel like dealing with the latter.
I dial Jenny's number on my old phone- the one that Benjamin hates so much- and, thankfully, she picks up on the second ring. I ignore the pang in my heart at the reminder of Benjamin and greet Jenny enthusiastically nonetheless.
"Hey!"
"Hey, Ari! What's up?"
"Take a guess."
"Oh, no- is the Greek God giving you trouble?"
Okay, here goes nothing.
"We kissed."
I yank my phone away from my ear as a loud shriek echoes through it, followed by a fluent wave of scolding that I've heard too many times before.
"What the hell, Aria! He's your boss! Wait...did he kiss you back?"
My cheeks flush.
"He kissed me first."
She squeals loudly in response.
"Um, amazing! So, why are you not happy?"
My brief happiness fades.
"He told me it was a mistake and...it won't happen again. Apparently commitment isn't his thing."
The elevator dings and I head to my room quickly, knowing there will likely be an inbox full of emails containing my work for the day when I arrive.
"'Doesn't date? How does a man like that not date?"
"He sleeps around, Jenny."
She lets a knowing 'ohhh' echo through the phone
"So basically he's scared of commitment and you're not sure you can change his mind?"
"Sounds about right."
"So are you thinking of quitting or...?"
My heart sinks. I'd been trying really hard to avoid thinking about the work aspect of this up until now, but obviously, it's a rather important thing to consider.
"I just don't know if I can ignore everything that's happened... I mean, we only kissed last night, I haven't really gotten a chance to see if we can still act professional."
"Okay, I've got it. You should stay for the rest of the business trip thingy, and then decide after you've, like, seen if you're a good enough actress if you wanna quit or not."
A smile spreads across my face despite my situation at her logical way of looking at things.
"That's only one more day; I can do that."
"Good. Now, are we done?- 'cause I'm supposed to be doing someone's hair right now."
I gasp, suddenly feeling guilty.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry! Go!"
"Text me what happens, okay?"
I hang up, feeling as if I understand my situation much better after talking to Jenny about it. My eyes are immediately drawn to the unopened laptop laying on my bedside table when I walk into my room. Despite how unwilling I was to accept it at first, I'm still pretty excited to have my own laptop. Already buzzing with anticipation, I speedily pull the lid up, relieved to find that Benjamin didn't set a password yet. Deciding on setting 'Benjamin' as the password just to spite him, I open safari and am surprised to find my brand new email already open in a tab, with multiple work emails in my inbox. Glad to focus on something other than Benjamin, I get to work.
* * *