((Sad Chapter))
((I feel like I have the damn plague you guys. I slept on the couch last night because falling asleep in my bed was taking too long. Someone mail me soup. -Sick Kells❤))
tw: none
++ DANNY'S VIEW ++
I walk down the stairs holding Patty's hand, who is a step behind me. My mom looks up and I smile slightly before walking to her.
"Can we talk alone for a few minutes?" I ask, letting go of Patty's hand.
"Of course." She says walking to the backdoor.
She closes the door behind us and sits in the chair. I join her, awkwardly crossing my legs.
"What's going on?" Mom asks.
I stare off at the sky for a while. Maybe the stars could help me out on this one. Grabbing her hand I sigh and squeeze it before speaking.
"I want to tell you the truth. Why this all started to spiral and I want to get through all of it before you ask anything okay?" I say softly.
"Okay. Go ahead, talk away."
"It's sad so just- get ready." I say before letting go of her hand.
"It started a few years ago, maybe five, I can't exactly remember. Barry was out of the apartment and I had my first panic attack since high school. I didn't know who to turn too so I just continued making my dinner like normal. As I was cutting vegetables, I cut the edge of my finger and the release felt nice. It felt like I was actually in control of my own pain." I say, stopping for a few moments before continuing.
"I ran upstairs and destroyed a razor to get the blades out. Taking them all the way up my forearm. It felt nice but burned as I watched the blood drop down to the tiles. It would be a few months before I cut again. This time, Suzy and Arin were being all loving at the office. Along with Ross and his wife Holly. It made me realise how alone I was so I took a cheap pencil sharpener and broke the blade out. Cutting myself in the bathroom, just laying their completely numb as the blood dropped onto the tiles again." I'm lightly tracing the faded scars now, remembering every story behind them.
"The cutting continued for years and no one knew. No one asked questions and when I got the call that Dad was sick I shattered. Everything started to rapidly decline all over again and the only thing I knew to do was hurt myself. I stayed at Patty's during that trip and told Patty about my self harming problem. It broke his heart and I would say from that moment I knew I had a crush on him."
"Everything was slowly getting better, but when I went back to California my world shattered. You called to say Avi passed away and I stayed sobbing in the bathroom for hours. I made Patty call Suzy so he didn't have to see me alone. My forearms were covered and they burned, the blood constantly flowing." I swallow hard and use my hand to wipe away the tears on my cheeks.
"It is a few weeks later that I was so close to killing myself, my suicide attempt did leave me legally dead for five minutes. It's what the doctors said but anyways- Barry's then fiancé basically called me a pussy for not killing myself sooner, so I walked out to my car and used a blade straight up my forearms. I was in a mental hospital from that moment to about five days ago." I say and finally stop.
"How long were you hospitalised?" Mom asks, running her thumb over my knuckles.
"About fifty days or so. I want to say Patty knows the exact date." I say.
"Is that everything?" She asks and I sigh, shaking my legs.
"I really love Patty Mom. I just want you to know that because I feel like he's the one I'm suppose to be with." I say and she grips my hand.
"Let's go get dinner and see if I agree." She says before walking inside.
((Dude. This was probably my favourite chapter to write? It has a lot of back story and if you have any questions leave a comment of private message me.
Remember to love yourself! -Sick Kells❤))