Chemo Therapy during 3rd Period

March 3

It's been two weeks since I got told that I had been misdiagnosed and had leukemia not liver cancer. I've gone to all my classes. It's so hard being there. I don't know what to do or how to feel. I am not doing any treatments currently. Mainly because no one knows what to do and all the treatments are full. The only people who know are Michael, Kathy, Kate and Taylor.
One day after school, Michael came over and I was sitting in the living room. He came and sat by me. I had a blanket, the bear he gave me and I was watching some TV. He was holding my hand. I had my head on his shoulder. I started falling asleep. I felt him move and I was moved. I knew something was happening.
I heard Kathy ask" how are you doing Michael?"
-"Good. How are you?"
"No how are you?"
Michael must of had a confused look on his face.
"Michael you need to understand something. No one knows how long she has left. No one knows what to do. I need you to do me a favor, if you ever start not liking her anymore just walk away okay? I watched her go through that terrible breakup with Carson. She went through so much depression. I'm worried that this will cause her to fall back into that. Another thing I need to ask you is that you can never cry in front of her. She will become worried about you and that'll cause her to not sleep and lose her appetite and might also cause some depression."
-"Yes ma'am. I love her. It broke my heart when you told me about her. I promise I will never want to hurt her. I will try to not cry in front of her."
I felt Michael come back over and I pretended to be asleep. I felt him run his hand over my hair. He kissed my forehead. I smiled and acted like I just woke up.
"How long was I asleep for?"
"About 15-20 minutes."
"Oh. Sorry. I'm not super fun to be around."
"No it's super fun."
Michael had to watch the movie Forever strong for his sport science class. So we watched that which is actually really good. He left my house around 7:30. He had to work early tomorrow, so he said he needed some sleep. But he would come back tomorrow. Kathy made spaghetti for dinner. It was really good. Halfway through she noticed that I had spaghetti sauce in between my lip and nose. I wiped it. It wasn't spaghetti sauce it was blood. I had a nosebleed. That was super fun. Tanner and I face timed which was really cool because we hadn't talked in a while. She was telling me all about how great things were going and how it looks like she is actually going to be in remission. She asked how my appointment went. I bit my lip and told her what happened. She felt so bad. She couldn't believe it either. She asked about Carson and I told her the story, I left nothing out. She was shocked that he tried to rope her in on the whole thing. Which was honestly a low blow. Then I told her all about Michael and showed her pictures and the bear. She was shocked that I moved on so fast but happy I had found Michael.
March 4
Woke up. Did homework. Kathy made me shower. She asked me if I knew what I was doing a year ago today. I said no. She said "you saw your parents." It's been an Year since I saw them last and honestly I don't really miss them anymore. I mean I wish my dad was here to have the don't hurt my daughter talk with Michael and my mom to tell him to stop. It was 1:30 and I still hadn't heard from Michael. Weird. But whatever. Kathy asked if I wanted to go to the coast. I figured why not.
I forgot how much I loved it here. The salty air. The crashing waves. So much beauty. I was inspired to do something completely insane. Kathy was all for it saying it would be super cute. I wrote in the sand I Love You. Kathy took a picture of me like squatting by it and I sent it to Michael. I was the first one to say it. Like we've said I love you when you laugh. But never just I love you. Kathy and I wandered. She had packed me an overnight bag apparently and we were going to stay at this beach house that her friend owned and said we could stay the night there. It was so beautiful. Had huge windows with ocean views. It was amazing. Kathy ordered in some pizza. We just laughed and had fun. We didn't talk about prescriptions, or possible treatments.
March 5
Michael face timed me last night and he was grinning ear to ear.
"Do you really mean that Spencer?"
-"yes I love you Michael!"
He laughed and
"I love you more Spencer."
I smiled. I told him where I was and showed him the view. He agreed it was amazing. He told me how crazy work was and then the guy who was suppose to relieve him never showed and he had gotten stuck training the new guy. I smiled and told him how sorry I was.
Today all Kathy and I did was travel back home and ate some candy. When we got home I was super tired and just went to bed. I woke up about an hour ago. I decided to print some of the pictures from the dance and hang them up in my room. I put the picture of Michael and I on my desk. So cute. Love that nguy. I have a reason to fight for my life now. I'm fighting for more time with Michael.